still scared and still aware of it (yewook)
title: still scared and still aware of it
fandom: super junior. yesung & ryeowook.
warnings: r for implied sex. 932 words.
summary: after band breakup fic. after it happens, ryeowook and yesung have each other and he's scared by it.
Ryeowook gets scared. He gets scared when he thinks he's plunging too fast into risky, shallow waters. He gets scared when the other person's pants fall down, too fast, too slow, and they're holding him up against walls that he doesn't want to get pushed up against, but in the end, it's always the same. The back of his head will tip back dangerously on the wall that's behind him and there will be melodic sounds that come out from the corners of his mouth. He'll be panting, they'll both be panting, and in the end, the other person will ride out their orgasm and Ryeowook will follow after.
After they've finished, Ryeowook bites his lips and stares guiltily at the stripes of white that's crisscross over his thighs and the other person's stomach. It wasn't supposed to be needy and wrong like this. It was supposed to be anything but this.
He goes in a flurry of internal conflicts after a few seconds. He wants to scream and drive his fingers into the other person's fleshy shoulders until they draw blood. He wants to drop his head into the other person's shoulder and cry out for another solution. But that bitter part that's built into him doesn't let him. He just wipes his sweaty hands on the other person's back and lets his legs droop from their bodies.
Maybe next time will be better.
Ryeowook gets scared of falling too deep. He tells himself that it's just little meetings at first, a simple touch of the hands every now and then, but he feels like these moments are turning into something more.
He starts thinking of his face more and more, and visions of the past are replaced with husky voices and the tips of jet black hair. He tries to bring everything back, but it's always the same in the end. He and his thoughts will come back to that one person and they'll all hop into a bed together.
He stops biting his lip so the other person is allowed to kiss him.
“I love you.”
A set of words works its way through of how lonely they really are.
It's not love. It's just his needs. It's the needs he get after the band's been broken up and those two were the only ones that ended up with second contracts. The rest have gone back to where they were: successful futures, married households, the big screen, etc.
Ryeowook is a singer, not a lover.
He doesn't understand why Yesung doesn't accept that thought and leave him be.
He doesn't know that it's the other way around.
“I think I love you.”
Yesung stares at him from the desk from which he scribbles lyrics on. There's nothing for him to do except look at the person that's standing in front of him. Ryeowook bites his bottom lip again. Maybe he should do what he's been doing for years. Playing love off like it's a joke.
He doesn't have time to when Yesung risks what they already have by standing up from his desk and pushing the other person into the nearest wall.
He transforms what they have into something more.
He gets scared. He gets scared of falling and being alone. He gets scared because there's so many people that have already left him for bigger and better things.
But Yesung is always eager to be near him, so therefore, he's always there for him.
He gets scared of falling into a deeper love with him. It's not like the exact connection that he had with others, but at times, it feels like it is. Especially at the times when their fingertips sweep against each other and it turns into kissing each other without their clothes on.
“I'm scared,” he tells him one night. It could be the wrong time to tell him because his arms and legs are wrapped around Yesung, clinging on to him so his fallen figure doesn't drop down to the floor.
“Don't be,” Yesung whispers through parted lips. He kisses Ryeowook's cheeks until they're dry and they fall into the bed like that, with Yesung kissing Ryeowook until he's safe and dry from the rain that falls outside of his apartment.
Ryeowook's fears turn into moans and they escape from his mouth. He can only hear the rain that falls outside and the slapping of flesh that hit against each other.
Ryeowook gets scared because he knows he's fallen in love. He finds out the day that Yesung confesses to him in sheets of notebook paper.
Ryeowook stares at the messy words that are written down in pen. I love you. Love me too?
It's also the same day when he finds out that he's not alone anymore. Hopefully, it will stay like that for a long time.
Ryeowook is still scared.
He gets scared every single time he's alone. Every single time when he's reminded that Super Junior is no more, and he has to fend for himself now. Every single time that his calls don't get picked up by people he used to know and used to trust.
But the thing he was most afraid of, he's not scared of it anymore. He just ignores it when Yesung pulls him into undiscovered corners and keeps him there with him.
“I'm scared,” he repeats.
“Don't be,” Yesung tells him again. He pushes Ryeowook down into the mattress.
“You know I'll never leave you.”
Every drop of fear comes off like the buttons of his shirt.
(eenie calls this my word vomit. i call it complete and utter fail and the results of finishing my english test too early today.
it doesn't make sense. i don't think it ever will. i-i'm sorry, guys. :C
love's like a kiss when the sun goes down. holds me tight when no one's around. love is what i want to hold onto. love is you.
- inspired by this video. lydia paek and chrisette michelle. asdfghjkl
/reading. wincing. twitching. omg.)
fandom: super junior. yesung & ryeowook.
warnings: r for implied sex. 932 words.
summary: after band breakup fic. after it happens, ryeowook and yesung have each other and he's scared by it.
Ryeowook gets scared. He gets scared when he thinks he's plunging too fast into risky, shallow waters. He gets scared when the other person's pants fall down, too fast, too slow, and they're holding him up against walls that he doesn't want to get pushed up against, but in the end, it's always the same. The back of his head will tip back dangerously on the wall that's behind him and there will be melodic sounds that come out from the corners of his mouth. He'll be panting, they'll both be panting, and in the end, the other person will ride out their orgasm and Ryeowook will follow after.
After they've finished, Ryeowook bites his lips and stares guiltily at the stripes of white that's crisscross over his thighs and the other person's stomach. It wasn't supposed to be needy and wrong like this. It was supposed to be anything but this.
He goes in a flurry of internal conflicts after a few seconds. He wants to scream and drive his fingers into the other person's fleshy shoulders until they draw blood. He wants to drop his head into the other person's shoulder and cry out for another solution. But that bitter part that's built into him doesn't let him. He just wipes his sweaty hands on the other person's back and lets his legs droop from their bodies.
Maybe next time will be better.
Ryeowook gets scared of falling too deep. He tells himself that it's just little meetings at first, a simple touch of the hands every now and then, but he feels like these moments are turning into something more.
He starts thinking of his face more and more, and visions of the past are replaced with husky voices and the tips of jet black hair. He tries to bring everything back, but it's always the same in the end. He and his thoughts will come back to that one person and they'll all hop into a bed together.
He stops biting his lip so the other person is allowed to kiss him.
“I love you.”
A set of words works its way through of how lonely they really are.
It's not love. It's just his needs. It's the needs he get after the band's been broken up and those two were the only ones that ended up with second contracts. The rest have gone back to where they were: successful futures, married households, the big screen, etc.
Ryeowook is a singer, not a lover.
He doesn't understand why Yesung doesn't accept that thought and leave him be.
He doesn't know that it's the other way around.
“I think I love you.”
Yesung stares at him from the desk from which he scribbles lyrics on. There's nothing for him to do except look at the person that's standing in front of him. Ryeowook bites his bottom lip again. Maybe he should do what he's been doing for years. Playing love off like it's a joke.
He doesn't have time to when Yesung risks what they already have by standing up from his desk and pushing the other person into the nearest wall.
He transforms what they have into something more.
He gets scared. He gets scared of falling and being alone. He gets scared because there's so many people that have already left him for bigger and better things.
But Yesung is always eager to be near him, so therefore, he's always there for him.
He gets scared of falling into a deeper love with him. It's not like the exact connection that he had with others, but at times, it feels like it is. Especially at the times when their fingertips sweep against each other and it turns into kissing each other without their clothes on.
“I'm scared,” he tells him one night. It could be the wrong time to tell him because his arms and legs are wrapped around Yesung, clinging on to him so his fallen figure doesn't drop down to the floor.
“Don't be,” Yesung whispers through parted lips. He kisses Ryeowook's cheeks until they're dry and they fall into the bed like that, with Yesung kissing Ryeowook until he's safe and dry from the rain that falls outside of his apartment.
Ryeowook's fears turn into moans and they escape from his mouth. He can only hear the rain that falls outside and the slapping of flesh that hit against each other.
Ryeowook gets scared because he knows he's fallen in love. He finds out the day that Yesung confesses to him in sheets of notebook paper.
Ryeowook stares at the messy words that are written down in pen. I love you. Love me too?
It's also the same day when he finds out that he's not alone anymore. Hopefully, it will stay like that for a long time.
Ryeowook is still scared.
He gets scared every single time he's alone. Every single time when he's reminded that Super Junior is no more, and he has to fend for himself now. Every single time that his calls don't get picked up by people he used to know and used to trust.
But the thing he was most afraid of, he's not scared of it anymore. He just ignores it when Yesung pulls him into undiscovered corners and keeps him there with him.
“I'm scared,” he repeats.
“Don't be,” Yesung tells him again. He pushes Ryeowook down into the mattress.
“You know I'll never leave you.”
Every drop of fear comes off like the buttons of his shirt.
(eenie calls this my word vomit. i call it complete and utter fail and the results of finishing my english test too early today.
it doesn't make sense. i don't think it ever will. i-i'm sorry, guys. :C
love's like a kiss when the sun goes down. holds me tight when no one's around. love is what i want to hold onto. love is you.
- inspired by this video. lydia paek and chrisette michelle. asdfghjkl
/reading. wincing. twitching. omg.)