10-Year Retrospective
I can hardly believe it, but I started this journal a decade ago, in October of 2003. I know I obviously haven't used this journal for, well, journaling in a long time, but a 10-year anniversary deserves a post, no?
So, my goodness, ten years, eh? I started this journal just days after the young-love-of-my-life cruelly dumped my ass in an email. This journal was, at the time, my only outlet for really ranting and raving about Amanda, as my mood swings compelled. Gosh, that relationship and its ending probably had more to do in shaping the rest of my 20s than anything else. I can look back at my posts now and feel a mixture of pity and sympathy, but also regret at just how long it took me to balance myself out again and let go of a relationship that was never going to work anyway. But, hey, it wasn't all a slog!
There's been lots of good times in the past 10 years, too. Lots of parties, lots of traveling, lots of new people, different jobs, different apartments, and in the last year, a new kitty, too:
Okay, he's not that tiny and cute anymore, but these pics are too adorable not to include. Ay, my little rascal. :-P
I know I started this post with a short re-hash of what inspired its creation, and there's a reason for that that I'll get to at the end of this post, but first, I'd like to chronicle some of the biggest and/or most important happenings in my life that took me from my early-20s to my now early-30s. Let's see, in the past decade, off the top of my head:
1. I graduated college (finally) and immediately started working, first at GSD&M for a few months before getting my current position at Fulbright & Jaworski, where I still work today.
2. I've travelled a lot. I got to revisit a few cities (San Francisco, New Orleans) and also visit many places I had never been to before (Las Vegas, Denver, Portland, Chicago, and of course, Spain - Barcelona, Valencia, Madrid, and Toledo).
3. My best friend and roommate decided to move into an apartment with his boyfriend, so that was a big change as well, living on my own for the first time. Just in the last year, I moved into a new 2-bedroom apartment all for myself (and the animals, of course...really, the "guest" room is just the "pet" room + desk).
4. I got my driver's license at the age of 21, and bought my first car at 30. I know I have a picture of Maggie somewhere...as soon as I find one on my computer at home, I'll add it to this post, too. :-D
5. And, there were a few good years of PepSi fandom in this decade, too, that also brought a lot of firsts and changes to my life. First time getting involved with an online fandom, first time making friends within an online community, first time writing fanfiction (which I haven't finished, and probably never will, because I suck :-P). But most importantly, my days as a PepSi-obsessed super-fan brought ms_moodified into my life. And that brings me to the most amazing, most thrilling, most terrifying, and most wonderful and all-encompassing change in my life in the past decade...
6. Isabel. (And I'm really hoping she doesn't mind me using her name, but using only her lj nick now just doesn't seem right. It's been a long time since she's just been "ms. moodi" to me.) Yup, it only took me ten years, but I finally met someone who makes me want to love again. I've met someone who's so special, I want to completely open my heart up to her, and her do the same in return. It's...such a shock to me sometimes, that I'm at this point after ten years of keeping people at arm's length, but it's a good shock! A great one, in fact. It's exciting to know that the memories I'll be creating will now include her in them. (Like going to visit her for the first time, for one!) I feel like I met her at the right time, at the right age, at the right level of maturity...everything about her and us is "right" except for the distance that keeps us from being able to cuddle on the couch for real. ;-) But I'm so happy to have met her, and I know we're going to work these things out together.
So I'm not that sad-sack 20-some year old anymore, pining over someone who probably shouldn't have gotten my love in the first place. After a long, long time of living on my own, taking care of myself, and learning that I'm capable of making a good and happy life for myself, I've finally met someone I'd like to share my life with. It's kind of a Big Fucking Deal, and with this post, I want to officially put an end to the Amanda-Era of my life and usher in the Isabel-Era. I'm hoping this one will be the one to last the rest of my life.
Isabel:
Te adoro, mi niña. Eres la cosa más bella que he tenido en mi vida desde hace mucho tiempo, y tengo tantos sueños que quiero vivir contigo. Sé que lo mismo es cierto para ti. Gracias a ti, my Bell, estoy muy ansiosa por ver qué cambios y nuevas experiencias la próxima década nos puede traer.
The outlook for the rest of my 30s is looking bright indeed. *puts on shades* :-D
So, my goodness, ten years, eh? I started this journal just days after the young-love-of-my-life cruelly dumped my ass in an email. This journal was, at the time, my only outlet for really ranting and raving about Amanda, as my mood swings compelled. Gosh, that relationship and its ending probably had more to do in shaping the rest of my 20s than anything else. I can look back at my posts now and feel a mixture of pity and sympathy, but also regret at just how long it took me to balance myself out again and let go of a relationship that was never going to work anyway. But, hey, it wasn't all a slog!
There's been lots of good times in the past 10 years, too. Lots of parties, lots of traveling, lots of new people, different jobs, different apartments, and in the last year, a new kitty, too:
Okay, he's not that tiny and cute anymore, but these pics are too adorable not to include. Ay, my little rascal. :-P
I know I started this post with a short re-hash of what inspired its creation, and there's a reason for that that I'll get to at the end of this post, but first, I'd like to chronicle some of the biggest and/or most important happenings in my life that took me from my early-20s to my now early-30s. Let's see, in the past decade, off the top of my head:
1. I graduated college (finally) and immediately started working, first at GSD&M for a few months before getting my current position at Fulbright & Jaworski, where I still work today.
2. I've travelled a lot. I got to revisit a few cities (San Francisco, New Orleans) and also visit many places I had never been to before (Las Vegas, Denver, Portland, Chicago, and of course, Spain - Barcelona, Valencia, Madrid, and Toledo).
3. My best friend and roommate decided to move into an apartment with his boyfriend, so that was a big change as well, living on my own for the first time. Just in the last year, I moved into a new 2-bedroom apartment all for myself (and the animals, of course...really, the "guest" room is just the "pet" room + desk).
4. I got my driver's license at the age of 21, and bought my first car at 30. I know I have a picture of Maggie somewhere...as soon as I find one on my computer at home, I'll add it to this post, too. :-D
5. And, there were a few good years of PepSi fandom in this decade, too, that also brought a lot of firsts and changes to my life. First time getting involved with an online fandom, first time making friends within an online community, first time writing fanfiction (which I haven't finished, and probably never will, because I suck :-P). But most importantly, my days as a PepSi-obsessed super-fan brought ms_moodified into my life. And that brings me to the most amazing, most thrilling, most terrifying, and most wonderful and all-encompassing change in my life in the past decade...
6. Isabel. (And I'm really hoping she doesn't mind me using her name, but using only her lj nick now just doesn't seem right. It's been a long time since she's just been "ms. moodi" to me.) Yup, it only took me ten years, but I finally met someone who makes me want to love again. I've met someone who's so special, I want to completely open my heart up to her, and her do the same in return. It's...such a shock to me sometimes, that I'm at this point after ten years of keeping people at arm's length, but it's a good shock! A great one, in fact. It's exciting to know that the memories I'll be creating will now include her in them. (Like going to visit her for the first time, for one!) I feel like I met her at the right time, at the right age, at the right level of maturity...everything about her and us is "right" except for the distance that keeps us from being able to cuddle on the couch for real. ;-) But I'm so happy to have met her, and I know we're going to work these things out together.
So I'm not that sad-sack 20-some year old anymore, pining over someone who probably shouldn't have gotten my love in the first place. After a long, long time of living on my own, taking care of myself, and learning that I'm capable of making a good and happy life for myself, I've finally met someone I'd like to share my life with. It's kind of a Big Fucking Deal, and with this post, I want to officially put an end to the Amanda-Era of my life and usher in the Isabel-Era. I'm hoping this one will be the one to last the rest of my life.
Isabel:
Te adoro, mi niña. Eres la cosa más bella que he tenido en mi vida desde hace mucho tiempo, y tengo tantos sueños que quiero vivir contigo. Sé que lo mismo es cierto para ti. Gracias a ti, my Bell, estoy muy ansiosa por ver qué cambios y nuevas experiencias la próxima década nos puede traer.
The outlook for the rest of my 30s is looking bright indeed. *puts on shades* :-D