Title: White (A Narrative Remix)
Summary: Did you ever think Crystal Tokyo was too good to be true? Well. You had that right.
A/N: Remixed
Angsty April 2011 piece. The Usagi parts are the same as they are in the original, but those with the other characters have been completely rewritten because this way, I figured I could make it sadder.
***
The palace is white, white, white. Everything is white and shiny and gleaming and pretty and white. Whitewhitewhite. My dress is white too. I like it: it’s the softest silk you could ever imagine, and it makes my legs look endless and my breasts perky and round. I feel like a sexy fairy when I’m wearing it. I still remember school uniforms and trainers and I do have to say, it’s much better now. Every girl wants to be a princess, and I am a Queen! I am living the dream. That rhymes. I like that.
Where was I? Ah yes. A dream. Of course, it wouldn’t be a one if I didn’t have my Endymion right here by my side. He never leaves, you know. Never ever ever. Because he loves me. He loves me more than life itself. It’s what he said when we got married. Oh, did I show you my crown? No? Then come, quick! It’s hidden away, so that the others don’t steal it. Everyone wants a crown like mine, so you understand why I have to guard it.
Isn’t it pretty? You can touch it. Don’t worry. There. Heavy, isn’t it? No, you can hold it for another moment, I don’t mind. Just give it back to me when you’re don-, no, NO, don’t put it on your head, give it back, give it back now!
That wasn’t very nice of you. Are you with them? Against me like they are? They want to steal my kingdom, steal it away from me. They were bad, that’s why I punished them and sent them away. I sent them to a poisoned planet.
Oh, yes, it is funny, it really is! Don’t you see it? It’s called irony! They reached for the stars, and now they hold shit in their greedy hands. Funnyfunnyfunny. Rubeus now has to live without her. But Mars is too good for him anyway. What? Oh no, I can’t tell you that. I hid her away to protect her from the likes of him. She swore an oath of chastity, you know, so men can’t have her, especially not Rubeus (do you think he dyes his hair? Sometimes I think he does). Diamond only wants me, and so does Safir, but he tends to hide from me because he’s so shy. I don’t care for either. I only want my Endymion. Good thing he’s right he-
Endymion?
ENDYMION!
Ouch. What is this sting in my arm?
White white white. Everything is whitewhitewhi-
***
They’re sitting in Kunzite’s flat, and the between the night sky and the dark furniture, little light reaches the two men. They didn’t even think of flicking the lamps on. What use is it anyway? Only children believe that the warm light of a lamp can keep demons at bay. Kunzite knows better.
“She won’t tell us where she is,” he eventually says, running a hand over his face. The last weeks have made him weary, and the iron control is beginning to crack, laying bare emotions that are usually well hidden. It’s like cliffs slowly crumbling into the ocean.
Opposite him, Jadeite is restless, wringing his hands, tapping his feet. He can’t keep still these days. “But we’re running out of time! We need to find her!” It’s the urgency in his friend’s voice that makes Kunzite wince. Because Jadeite is right, and they are running out of time.
“Jadeite, we’re doing everything we can.”
Their eyes meet and Jadeite looks away first. His shoulders hunch and he folds in on himself. Kunzite gets up and gets the vodka and the sleeping pills because at the end of the day, he will always take care of his men, whatever it takes.
***
I slept so well tonight. Must have been over twelve hours. Just wait here and let me change into my gown. Did I ever show you my gown? It makes my legs look endle-
Oh. I already told you? What do you mean told you? You mean showed you. SHOWED you.
Yes.
I’ll be right back.
See, here I am. Look how it trails behind me. Like clouds. I am walking on clouds. I feel so pretty today. Let’s go and visit Mercury.
What? Why do you look so sad? Mercury is right here, just behind that door. She’s very busy, you know. She always works, finds out new remedies for horrible diseases. I haven’t seen her in a while. Last time I did, she told me about some new medicine she had developed. Can’t for the life of me remember what it was for though.
Something to do with brains. Shall I ask her? No? Okay, fine. But you’re a bit of a sour puss, you get that, right?
What do you want to do then? We can take a tour through the palace. I can show you the secret entrance to the Gates of Time and Space. You will meet Pluto there. Oh, she’s a bitch. Uups! Sorry. Shouldn’t have said that, never mind, Endymion will be a bit upset if he hears I said that. Quick, quick, let’s change the topic because I don’t want to think about her, she makes me mad.
…
What exactly do you mean by that?
No.
No, I don’t.
I already said no.
I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM!
STOP STINGING ME!
***
The hallway is completely deserted, at least until a white door opens and Zoisite bursts out of it. He slams it shut behind him, and turns the key in the lock, once, twice, and if he could turn it a third time, he would. Some things deserve to be locked away.
“How did it go?”
He whips around, and finds Kunzite walking towards him. He’s dressed in beige slacks and a white shirt that needs a good ironing. Zoisite swallows. He can still remember when Kunzite always looked like a model straight out of an Armani ad, not a hair out of place. Well, things have certainly changed.
But even though his friend no longer looks the same, his aura of efficiency is unchanged. Kunzite gives him a enquiring look, and Zoisite finally realises that he never answered the question. So he gives a little shrug, one that says everything and nothing, and then adds:
“She talked about Mercury today.”
If a pin were to drop, it would reverberate around them like an avalanche. Kunzite teeters on the spot (when has he started doing that, Zoisite thinks) and his hands twitch as if they were itching to reach out. They probably are, but Kunzite was never a man who was good at showing affection, and he still isn’t. So the twitching stops. “I’m sorry.”
Zoisite looks at his feet. There really is nothing he can say without falling apart and he doesn’t want to be the next one Kunzite has to commit to the asylum.
Zoisite can still remember Mercury looking at him with those big blue eyes of hers, a warm hand pressed against his cheek. “I can find a cure for Usagi, I know it. I’ll talk to her today, assess the problem, and then I’ll cure her,” Mercury had said, and then had disappeared behind this white door. It was the last time he’d seen her.
As if he’s reading his mind and knows where his thoughts had wandered to, Kunzite clears his throat and stares pointedly at the wall. “Can you cope?”
Zoisite thinks about it, really thinks about it, and hears the clock ticking a little louder with each passing second. There are clocks in every part of the building. It’s important. The orderlies need to know when to administer the next dose of meds. He’d love some meds himself. Something that makes him forget this creature behind the door and the woman he loves so much. The thought takes his breath away, and he presses his eyes shut. He can’t come back here again. Not tomorrow, not ever. “I don’t think so.”
“Okay. Let Nephrite or Venus take over.” He looks at Kunzite again, who is still staring at the wall. His hands have disappeared into his pockets, and Zoisite can see that they are balled up into fists. Of course they are.
“Thank you,” he whispers and walks past his friend and down the corridor. He knows there is one more question he needs to answer, but he hopes Kunzite doesn’t ask because the clock is ticking and there is nothing to say.
“Anything about Mars?”
Swallowing, Zoiste half turns and shakes his head. Kunzite nods and shifts his eyes to the white door.
“I better tell Jadeite,” he says softly, and Zoisite knows how that will end.
***
Oh, look who’s here! You haven’t visited me in a long time! Sink to your knees, and then you can kiss my hand. Why are you looking at me like that? It’s what people usually do in the presence of their Queen.
What?
No.
No.
No.
No.
I won’t tell you where she is. She’s safe. I had to hide her away.
I don’t think I like you.
***
The sun is bright and shines onto their heads. They’re on the asylum’s parking lot, and between all this suffering, they almost forgot that it is summer. Jadeite, who has been here since morning, has a reddened nose and Kunzite can feel his neck heat up. If they stay out here any longer, it’ll burn for sure. Still, none of them makes a move to get out of the sun.
“Zoisite was unsuccessful yesterday. And so was Nephrite today.” Kunzite is leaning against his car. He’s still wearing yesterday’s shirt.
“Let me talk to her.” There’s a wildness in Jadeite’s eyes, and it makes Kunzite afraid of what will happen to his friend if they don’t find Mars in time. He weighs the risk in his mind: can he send Jadeite to Usagi? Would he get hurt like Mercury and Endymion or would he manage what all of them failed in so far? Eventually, he shakes his head.
“She thinks you are Rubeus.”
“So?” Jadeite comes to a stop, ending the restless pacing. He’s walked in enough circles for one day.
Sometimes, Kunzite feels like basking people through the windshield of his car. But that’s not what you do when someone is being stupid because of the person they love. “Jadeite. You can’t talk to her, it will upset her and that will get us nowhere.”
The answering chuckle is bitter. “We are nowhere.”
And he’s right, so right that Kunzite doesn’t know what to say. Endymion could help them, Endymion could sort it all out. Severe trauma to the head. That’s what the doctors said. Not sure whether he will ever recover. Ever be himself again. Ever be more than that shell that walks through the asylum’s garden, not even aware of the people that come to visit him. Kunzite looks over his shoulder and sees the box of chocolates on the passenger seat. He bought it for Endymion, for Mamoru. Mamoru likes chocolate, and he likes white chocolate best. Kunzite always enjoyed teasing his liege that in fact, white chocolate isn’t even real chocolate and then Endymion would smile and Kunzite felt like he did something ri-
“You should try it then.” Jadeite’s voice rips him out of his thoughts, and he abandons the chocolate. It’s melted anyway.
He clears his throat. “Well, she thinks I’m Diamond, so she’s not exactly forthcoming with information.” It’s not as if I haven’t tried, he wants to add, but doesn’t.
“... if only Endymion were here.”
For a moment, he wants to shake Jadeite. He makes it sound as if Endymion is dead. He’s not. There’s still hope. “He’s here, he’s just not... himself.” Even to himself, it sounds weak, but Jadeite tracks back, sorry for something none of them has any control over.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“Must be hard for you.”
“It’s hard for all of us.” And it is, even under the hot sunlight in the middle of the day on a parking lot that looks so ordinary that it’s hard to imagine that somewhere along the road that is fate, they all took a wrong turn and ended up in this reality that is nothing but a badly disguised form of hell.
***
Diamond. I told you. I love my husband, you have to go away. Oh, he’s right here. Right by my side. Endymion, come here and say hi to Diamond. Endymion?
Where is he?
What did you to him?
Are you sure?
You didn’t hurt him to win my affection?
Oh, you are such a bad liar.
…
Wait. Did you hear that? There’s someone running to the Gates of Time and Space. Oh no. Not again. Endymion! ENDYMION! I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM THIS WHORE!
***
Makoto’s flower shop is empty of customers. It’s almost midnight, and it’s not as if she’s still there because she has to work. She’s still there because she can’t sleep. None of them can.
“She’s completely insane,” Minako says, stating the one fact that Makoto doesn’t want to hear. So she picks up the bucket full of tulips and carries it to her work station. She’ll make a big bouquet, all pink and yellow, and then bring it to Mrs. Mizuno first thing tomorrow morning.
She can hear Minako drumming her hands against the counter she’s leaning on. Her friend was never able to deal with silence; Makoto sighs, and wipes the tears away. It’s futile because it’s not as if they ever stop coming. “I didn’t think it would come to this.”
“She has imagined this whole other world. A second rise of the Silver Millennium. How absurd is that?” Minako’s anger dances through the room like wind. It’s almost tangible. But then so is Makoto’s own state of mind. The thunderstorm outside was not predicted by the weatherman this morning. Hearing the thunder roar, Makoto feels guilty.
“I don’t know. I mean, we are senshi. We can even control the elements. It seems logical, doesn’t it? The next step.” Some days, she still thinks that this is what it should have been like. Only with Usagi sane and all of them happy and healthy around her. An utopia, the future they all deserved. Minako clearly doesn’t think so and kicks herself off the counter, beginning an aimless journey through the shop. It’s so small that it makes the blonde look like a caged tiger. “Mako, please. A crystal covered city. Her as the ruler over all of humanity.” Minako snorts and gives the red roses in their bucket an angry glare. That answers the unposed question whom Minako blames for it all.
Makoto would roll her eyes if the situation weren’t so desperate. “Minako. She couldn’t cope with loosing him.”
“You mean she couldn’t cope with bashing his head in with a candle stick because he slept with Pl-”
Enough is enough: Makoto doesn’t need to reminded of what happened, none of them does. So she puts the tulips aside, braces her hands on the work table and gives Minako a long and hard look. “Why are you so cruel today?”
“She thinks Kunzite is Diamond.” Minako meets her eyes and doesn’t look away. All that rage is out in the open, without anywhere to go. Outside, the thunder withers away and silence takes over.
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh.”
“How is he?”
Minako tosses her hair over her shoulder, haughty and angry in the way only Rei is allowed to be. “Not well. She unleashed the Moon Beam on him when she thought he was helping Endymion be with Pluto.”
“... and now?”
“Now we talk to her. We need to find Rei.”
Rei... Makoto feels her heart clench in her chest and suddenly she’s seven years old again and waiting for her parents to come home.
***
Look who’s here! I missed you two! Why have you stopped visiting me? Don’t you want to be with your Queen? You have to protect me.
From them.
Diamond. Rubeus. Safir. Even though I only ever see Safir through the windows. He walks through the park, always so aimless. Like a zombie.
Mako, Mako, my love, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?
Oh.
His wife hurt him?
How horrible.
Why did she do it?
Well, if he cheated on her...
Minako, why are you looking at me like that?
…
Do you want me show you my crown?
Oh, it is my biggest treasure. No, I know what my biggest treasure is. It’s my crown. No, not my friends. My crown. My kingdom.
Wait! What do you mean, you’re going to see Mars now? You can’t see Mars, I told you, I hid her away. You don’t know where she is. Don’t lie to me, I know you don’t know it.
Mako? Does she know?
Mako. You’re still crying. Stop it, please. Please. Mako, love, stop.
Now I’m crying to.
***
“I don’t want to be the one to tell him.” There still in the asylum, outside the white door. Makoto and Nephrite have already left, and a small part of Kunzite wishes that Minako would allow him to comfort her the way Nephrite could Jupiter. But Minako, Venus, is different. She wouldn’t see it as kindness, she’d see it as an insult. So he does what he has to do, does what Endymion would expect him to: he takes care of his men. Of Jadeite, who has yet to be told.
“It’ll be better when he hears it from you, Minako. He’s your best friend.” He doesn’t mention that last night, while the thunderstorm raged, so did Jadeite. He raged at the walls and at the night and at the universe until there was no rage left in the whole world.
Opposite him, Venus shakes her head and crosses her arms in front of her chest. “So if Endymion came to you and told you that she put me in a box until- until I was out of... I can’t deal with this.” It’s the first time since the shitennou came back all those years ago that she has shown weakness in front of him. It should have been a sign of trust. Instead, it’s a sign of desperation.
“Minako...” This time he doesn’t overthink it and just takes a step towards, forcing his groaning joints into movement. He can still feel the aftereffects of the Moon Beam attack whenever he moves. Be it moving a finger or taking a step, it’s all agony, but so is seeing the woman he loves in so much pain.
Minako sways and for a second, he allows himself the luxury of hoping that she’ll move towards him. But then her face closes, and she shakes her head once more. “You tell him. She was my friend, my sister. I... no. Just no, Kunzite. Do not ask this of me.”
They stand in front of the white door until behind it, Usagi begins to giggle. Then, only then they finally flee.
***
Mercury! Something is wrong! The Dead Moon people are stealing everyone away from me! They stole Endymion, and Venus, and Jupiter! They’re hiding them somewhere and we’ve got to go save them!
Mercury?
Why don’t you answer me?
What’s wrong?
Oh my God.
Where is all the blood coming from?
***
Jadeite is a crumpled form on the floor, Kunzite crouching beside him.
She is my best friend, Mars had said, and I don’t care what she did to Endymion. What happened with Mercury was an accident. I have to help her. I’ll be right back. I know what I’m doing.
“I told her I loved her,” Jadeite sobs, and Kunzite stares at the asylum, so very innocent under the summer sun. Brownstones. Green lawn. Gleaming golden letters above the door. And inside, whatever is left of Usagi Tsukino and Mamoru Chiba.
***
Let me show you my crown. It’s very pretty. I have it hidden away. That’s what you do with the things you hold dear. Hide and protect them.
Isn’t Crystal Tokyo beautiful?
Yes. It’s perfect.
Yes.
And nobody can take it away from me.
The End