[100 Themes] - Love Bite

[lovelymaia_chan]

Here's a break from writing my story. Since I just finished the Hellsing anime series, this little niggle in my head about writing an Integra/Alucard scenario took over. I love writing these two, and being able to understand how they think and feel is even better. Now if only I can do this with my characters >__>

Title: Love Bite
Theme: 86/100
Fandom

Comments

[muries_friend]

[quote]as are all things that aren’t of my own doing[/quote]

Whack! Stop that ... ^-^

ps - I read it. I liked it.

[filledemarius]

This was rather good; you got the tension between them perfectly. There's only one criticism that I have and it's that it felt as though you were beating us over the head with the fact that these situations were oxymorons near the beginning and some unnecessary wordiness.

"The thought of Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing with a festering vampire bite was an oxymoron," flows better than "The thought of Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing with a festering vampire bite was an oxymoronic idea."

Also, it's generally fine to use one word more than once in a story, but if it's used too close to the first use of it, the word becomes repetitive. I would have used "Another contradiction," instead of "Another oxymoronic idea."

Hope this helps!

[lovelymaia_chan]

Hehe, I like the repetition on certain stories, though I do get that it might not work as well on a short story. I need to remember to switch back and forth with writing between a long and short story.

Thanks much for the critique, it's truly appreciated. :)

[filledemarius]

Repetition is a tricky thing; sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I'm glad that my criticism helped. :) Will I be seeing more from you in the future?

[lovelymaia_chan]

I can't say. I usually write random fanfiction depending on my mood and the anime/book I currently fandom. Thankfully, I still have a Hellsing OVA to watch and a manga to read so I will have plenty of inspiration whenever I get to them!