Comments | lovemedeath: (без темы)

lovemedeath

(Untitled)

Feb 06, 2010 20:52

it's saturday and we're taking a day trip to nashville, the stiffness and rigidity of the week seems to be dissipating, at least in my mind, so I strip off the stained white t-shirt and torn leggings that have been my uniform in this miserable life. I shower, I painstakingly apply make-up, grey flowery tights, black baby doll dress that is maybe a ( Read more... )

Comments 3

daisysoup February 7 2010, 02:58:26 UTC

i am so, so sorry.

milklessbones February 8 2010, 03:29:07 UTC

Stephanie, I know it's easier said than done but you have to leave. What's stopping you? Honestly? I'm sorry, I wish I could help you and do everything for you. I don't even know how to begin to tell you. I've seen this done to my mother before as well, but it's made me despise violence instead of putting up with it. If you feel you are not worthy of a better life and person, you are. You are too intelligent and beautiful to allow this to go on. It's destroying you and someone else. I know what it's like to be miserable, so be miserable, but not like this. I'm here for you and always will be. You can even call me in the middle of the night. Is it stupid to give you my number? hah! You can talk to me. 2545775040.

lovemedeath February 9 2010, 00:33:32 UTC

I don't know why I can't leave. We come to that breaking point on a weekly basis, we agree we're absolutely horrible together and we make each other miserable, and yet neither one of us wants to leave. I wish it was easy like when I was a child and I could say without a doubt that I would never be treated that way by a man, but it's not at all. I guess I deal with his spurts of violence and his criticism because I do feel I deserve it. We've done such awful things to each other. My future is with isaac, I can't imagine having a child or spending the rest of my life with anyone else. I keep hoping that something will change, that he'll grow up or I'll learn how to commit. At this point, I don't know how much longer we'll be together, and considering he's deploying in two months, I try to ignore it, I convince him to pretend everything is fine. I am very quickly approaching the end of my marriage and I only want to be next to him and try to remember the way we used to love each other ( ... )