Interlude:
This isn't going to be another anxiety post, but here is a brief anxiety sidenote: it is so flupping bizarre sometimes to feel anxiety, to actually physically feel it with my body and not just my nervous kokoro. I'm so used to thinking of it as something that's all in my head, but then it makes my hands hurt and it makes my throat feel like my body is getting ready to throw up. And I definitely notice those things but don't really think about them when I'm ~in the moment~, so the really bizarre part, to me, is afterwards, when I'm no longer thinking anxious thoughts but my body is still sort of flipping out. On top of all that, the whole experience is so draining and I end up feeling utterly exhausted even though all I did was lie in bed fretting about shit.
ANYWAY today was a day. All of that stuff up there plus not getting enough sleep meant that I was SUPER tired at work; by the time I got home I barely even felt like a human being. I managed to avoid taking a nap, because my superpower used to be that I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat and stay there for like nine hours at least, but for some reason (getting older? a change in diet? elfie suggested stress, a reasonable theory) that is no longer true. I've noticed two things recently:
1) If I take a nap early in the day, I won't be able to fall asleep for realsies until super late.
2) If I haven't been awake for long enough, I'll only be able to sleep for three or four hours.
I mean I guess that's all pretty normal stuff, except MY SUPERPOWER, WHERE DID IT GO.
Anyway I resisted the urge to take a nap but then around 7pm INB was like "Fuck it, let's just go to sleep early." And in the back of my head I knew that was a bad idea but I agreed to it, so we laid out a bunch of blankets and pillows in the living room, since it's so much cooler there than the bedroom (although actually today was very nice! it rained!!), and went to sleep.
...and I woke up three hours later. orz
Sooo I came into the room and browsed AO3 for good Les Mis/Avengers/Sherlock fic I could copypasta into Notepad to find/replace the names with appropriate Arashi pairs (I live the classy life) and played dumb word games on Facebook (for those of you following along at home: she forgot, and I am honestly and truly relieved) and was feeling sort of mopey BUT THEN, I kept hearing all this shuffling and rustling from the other room. Obviously it was INB and I wondered if he was just tossing and turning or if he had woken up or what. And it kept going for a while. And then it started getting louder. And then I looked into the kitchen and saw him, on the floor, rolled up in all the blankets, with all the pillows in there with him, slithering his way through the kitchen to get to me. I nearly cried laughing. And he just kept slithering until he was on the floor in front of the bed. That's the idiot I married. ♥ He is so funny and ridiculous and sometimes he does or says things that just make me collapse with helpless laughter even when I'm feeling mopey or anxious. He's the best is what I'm saying here.
SO now we're going to eat some cups o' noodles and play Minecraft together and fall asleep at fuck knows what hour. Like I said: the classy life.
Crossposted here on Dreamwidth. You can comment there anonymously or using OpenID. ♥
ANYWAY today was a day. All of that stuff up there plus not getting enough sleep meant that I was SUPER tired at work; by the time I got home I barely even felt like a human being. I managed to avoid taking a nap, because my superpower used to be that I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat and stay there for like nine hours at least, but for some reason (getting older? a change in diet? elfie suggested stress, a reasonable theory) that is no longer true. I've noticed two things recently:
1) If I take a nap early in the day, I won't be able to fall asleep for realsies until super late.
2) If I haven't been awake for long enough, I'll only be able to sleep for three or four hours.
I mean I guess that's all pretty normal stuff, except MY SUPERPOWER, WHERE DID IT GO.
Anyway I resisted the urge to take a nap but then around 7pm INB was like "Fuck it, let's just go to sleep early." And in the back of my head I knew that was a bad idea but I agreed to it, so we laid out a bunch of blankets and pillows in the living room, since it's so much cooler there than the bedroom (although actually today was very nice! it rained!!), and went to sleep.
...and I woke up three hours later. orz
Sooo I came into the room and browsed AO3 for good Les Mis/Avengers/Sherlock fic I could copypasta into Notepad to find/replace the names with appropriate Arashi pairs (I live the classy life) and played dumb word games on Facebook (for those of you following along at home: she forgot, and I am honestly and truly relieved) and was feeling sort of mopey BUT THEN, I kept hearing all this shuffling and rustling from the other room. Obviously it was INB and I wondered if he was just tossing and turning or if he had woken up or what. And it kept going for a while. And then it started getting louder. And then I looked into the kitchen and saw him, on the floor, rolled up in all the blankets, with all the pillows in there with him, slithering his way through the kitchen to get to me. I nearly cried laughing. And he just kept slithering until he was on the floor in front of the bed. That's the idiot I married. ♥ He is so funny and ridiculous and sometimes he does or says things that just make me collapse with helpless laughter even when I'm feeling mopey or anxious. He's the best is what I'm saying here.
SO now we're going to eat some cups o' noodles and play Minecraft together and fall asleep at fuck knows what hour. Like I said: the classy life.
Crossposted here on Dreamwidth. You can comment there anonymously or using OpenID. ♥