The W-no-longer-IP Meme, Pt. 2 of 5!
This didn't come from anywhere in particular. I'd just been thinking a lot about how much I wanted some suddenly-a-girl Jun and how deliciously angsty it could be if he were paired with Sho (because I don't like angst nearly as much as I used to, but something about Sakumoto's history and lingering awkwardness takes me back to the good old days when all I wanted was to read about Joel Madden ruining everyone's life). Then I was invited into a word war, and this is what came out.
I've tried at various points to get it going somewhere -- I even sent it off to g_esquared, who gave me some excellent feedback -- but in the end I don't know where I even want it to go, just that it should include hot, heart-wrenching sex that both of them know would never have happened if Jun didn't suddenly wake up in a new body and definitely won't happen again once he changes back. ~*~them~*~
So anyway, here it is: ~1300 words of unhappy Sakumoto sexswap that, like Sho and Jun's relationship in this story, isn't going anywhere.
. . .
When Sho opens his door at three in the morning, he's expecting Matsujun. That's whose ring tone woke him up twenty minutes ago; he only heard it because he'd forgotten to turn his phone off, too bone-tired from a long day of filming, recording, and rehearsing to do much but slip out of his shoes in the entryway and stumble to the bedroom. It seemed as if he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
But then he woke up some time after two, his cell phone vibrating noisily on the bed beside his hip where it must have fallen out of his pocket. He picked it up to shut it off, but when he saw Jun's number, something inside of him was startled awake. It's been a long time since young, heart-eyed Jun called in the middle of the night "just to talk"; older, serious Jun only calls for emergencies.
"Sho-kun." Jun sounded strange and somehow small. He did sound younger, and for a moment Sho was very confused, caught in his head somewhere between the present and 2001. Then Jun cleared his throat and said, "Sho-kun, are you there?"
"M'here," Sho slurred.
"I'm sorry to wake you. Can I come over?"
Jun didn't need to say that it was something important, and Sho didn't need to ask.
Now, twenty minutes later, Sho opens his door, expecting Jun, but what he sees is... something different.
At first he thinks that he's been dreaming this entire time, the way he sometimes dreams about that younger, softer-faced Jun. He blinks hard, and pinches himself, but the image doesn't go away. It's Jun standing in front of him, yet not: this Jun is softer around the edges, his face is a bit rounder, and his body is different. Even through the heavy coat Jun is wearing, even through the way he's standing, with his arms crossed uncomfortably over his chest, Sho can tell that something is different.
He can also tell, from looking into Jun's eyes, that something is wrong.
Jun steps out of his shoes while Sho locks the door, and then Jun follows Sho into the kitchen, where Sho goes to the faucet to fill the kettle. It seems they'll need coffee.
When he turns away from the sink, Jun is standing beside the table, tucked behind one of the chairs as if he's using it to shield his body. His hands have come around to grip along the top of the chair backing, and even his fingers look different, somehow - a little smaller around the knuckles, perhaps.
"Sho-kun," Jun says, "I," and then he stops. His hands are fidgeting along the top of the chair until he steps to the side, out of hiding and into full view. And then he pulls his jacket open. He's wearing a button-up shirt underneath, and he slowly begins to unbutton it, working from the top down. Sho is still half-asleep and only vaguely able to process what's going on. The water has barely begun to heat up by the time Jun finishes unbuttoning, revealing a thin line of bare skin between the edges of the shirt. There's something strange about the image, something Sho can't quite grasp. He can only watch, uncomprehending, as Jun shrugs out of his jacket and drapes it carefully over the back of the chair, and then he grasps the front of his shirt, one side in each hand.
He moves, just slightly, and then he pauses, his eyes flickering up to Sho's and then back down again.
He breathes - and Sho can see, with sudden, dawning clarity, how the shape of Jun's chest beneath the shirt is different.
~
When the coffee's ready, they move to the living room. Sho takes a seat at one end of the couch, and Jun walks past him, way to the other end, curling his legs up neatly. He clutches his coffee cup like a lifeline and curves in around it as if it can keep his whole body warm - as if hunching his shoulders like that could hide what Sho now knows is there.
"I'm sorry," Jun says, quiet.
Sho looks down into his own too-pale coffee. He put too much cream in, distracted by the information his brain is still trying to process, and now it tastes like coffee-flavored milk. He takes a sip anyway, and holds it to his chest, and doesn't look at Jun. "It's all right," he says.
In the next instant, Jun is back up on his feet, unfolding his legs gracefully and swooping the coffee down onto a coaster. "I'm sorry," he says again, not looking at Sho as he moves towards the door. "I shouldn't have woken you -"
Sho snatches his wrist as he passes. Jun tries to tug away, but Sho holds on tight. The silence stretches between them, taking the shape of ten years of difference, seeping into the space between Sho's fingers and the pulse-point of Jun's wrist.
"Why did you come here?"
Jun lets his arm go limp in Sho's grasp. "Where else should I have gone?"
~
Jun makes a beautiful woman.
He's the same height, the same build, but he's softer in some places and more pronounced in others. His shoulders aren't quite as broad, but his hips are wider and flare out more from his narrow waist. His body is still firm, solid, but he carries the muscle in a different way now.
His jaw is more rounded, but his lips are just as full as they always have been.
And his legs are just as long, but his thighs - his thighs are softer.
Sho has never fucked Jun before, but he's been with a decent number of women, and if he doesn't think too hard about what's going on, if he focuses on all the things about Jun that are new and unfamiliar, it's easy to pretend that this is okay. He hones in on Jun's breasts, humble but perky, and the soft sigh Jun breathes into his mouth when he thumbs over Jun's pink, pert nipples. He concentrates on the wet heat where Jun's body connects to his, where Jun kneels over him on the couch and is rubbing against him in tight, insistent circles.
Sho mumbles, "Here, let me -" and pulls away just enough to unbutton his jeans. Jun helpfully rises up on his knees so Sho has room to work the pants down his hips, far enough that he can wriggle out of and kick them the rest of the way off.
Jun snaps the waistband of Sho's boxers. "What about these?"
Sho starts to ask, "Do you want -" but before he can even finish, Jun is tugging them down his hips.
As soon as the boxers are gone, Jun settles down against him, and the sudden heat makes Sho arch up with a moan. Jun is slippery and warm, so warm, and he's gripping Sho's shoulders so hard that his hands are shaking as he rocks his hips purposefully against Sho's.
Sho starts again, "Do you want -"
Jun gasps, "Please."
Sho puts his hands on Jun's hips and guides him up and just a bit forward - and when he slips inside, they both gasp. It's a tight fit, Sho hasn't done this in a while, and he can only assume it's the first time for Jun -
That thought hits him like a sucker punch, low in his gut, enough to knock the air from his lungs. He can't quite pick the emotions apart, isn't sure if what he's feeling right now is guilt or triumph or something else entirely, but he grips Jun's hips tight and stutters out, "Are - are you -?" and isn't even sure what he's asking. A virgin? Why wouldn't he be? Where else would he have gone?
Who else would he have gone to?
. . .
Maybe some day I will cannibalize that sex scene for something else (probably not a suddenly-a-girl fic, because, like so many other things in life, I crave them sometimes but I realize they are problematic and my feelings about them are iffy).
In the meantime, this crazy thing is retired.
Crossposted here on Dreamwidth. You can comment there anonymously or using OpenID. ♥
I've tried at various points to get it going somewhere -- I even sent it off to g_esquared, who gave me some excellent feedback -- but in the end I don't know where I even want it to go, just that it should include hot, heart-wrenching sex that both of them know would never have happened if Jun didn't suddenly wake up in a new body and definitely won't happen again once he changes back. ~*~them~*~
So anyway, here it is: ~1300 words of unhappy Sakumoto sexswap that, like Sho and Jun's relationship in this story, isn't going anywhere.
. . .
When Sho opens his door at three in the morning, he's expecting Matsujun. That's whose ring tone woke him up twenty minutes ago; he only heard it because he'd forgotten to turn his phone off, too bone-tired from a long day of filming, recording, and rehearsing to do much but slip out of his shoes in the entryway and stumble to the bedroom. It seemed as if he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
But then he woke up some time after two, his cell phone vibrating noisily on the bed beside his hip where it must have fallen out of his pocket. He picked it up to shut it off, but when he saw Jun's number, something inside of him was startled awake. It's been a long time since young, heart-eyed Jun called in the middle of the night "just to talk"; older, serious Jun only calls for emergencies.
"Sho-kun." Jun sounded strange and somehow small. He did sound younger, and for a moment Sho was very confused, caught in his head somewhere between the present and 2001. Then Jun cleared his throat and said, "Sho-kun, are you there?"
"M'here," Sho slurred.
"I'm sorry to wake you. Can I come over?"
Jun didn't need to say that it was something important, and Sho didn't need to ask.
Now, twenty minutes later, Sho opens his door, expecting Jun, but what he sees is... something different.
At first he thinks that he's been dreaming this entire time, the way he sometimes dreams about that younger, softer-faced Jun. He blinks hard, and pinches himself, but the image doesn't go away. It's Jun standing in front of him, yet not: this Jun is softer around the edges, his face is a bit rounder, and his body is different. Even through the heavy coat Jun is wearing, even through the way he's standing, with his arms crossed uncomfortably over his chest, Sho can tell that something is different.
He can also tell, from looking into Jun's eyes, that something is wrong.
Jun steps out of his shoes while Sho locks the door, and then Jun follows Sho into the kitchen, where Sho goes to the faucet to fill the kettle. It seems they'll need coffee.
When he turns away from the sink, Jun is standing beside the table, tucked behind one of the chairs as if he's using it to shield his body. His hands have come around to grip along the top of the chair backing, and even his fingers look different, somehow - a little smaller around the knuckles, perhaps.
"Sho-kun," Jun says, "I," and then he stops. His hands are fidgeting along the top of the chair until he steps to the side, out of hiding and into full view. And then he pulls his jacket open. He's wearing a button-up shirt underneath, and he slowly begins to unbutton it, working from the top down. Sho is still half-asleep and only vaguely able to process what's going on. The water has barely begun to heat up by the time Jun finishes unbuttoning, revealing a thin line of bare skin between the edges of the shirt. There's something strange about the image, something Sho can't quite grasp. He can only watch, uncomprehending, as Jun shrugs out of his jacket and drapes it carefully over the back of the chair, and then he grasps the front of his shirt, one side in each hand.
He moves, just slightly, and then he pauses, his eyes flickering up to Sho's and then back down again.
He breathes - and Sho can see, with sudden, dawning clarity, how the shape of Jun's chest beneath the shirt is different.
~
When the coffee's ready, they move to the living room. Sho takes a seat at one end of the couch, and Jun walks past him, way to the other end, curling his legs up neatly. He clutches his coffee cup like a lifeline and curves in around it as if it can keep his whole body warm - as if hunching his shoulders like that could hide what Sho now knows is there.
"I'm sorry," Jun says, quiet.
Sho looks down into his own too-pale coffee. He put too much cream in, distracted by the information his brain is still trying to process, and now it tastes like coffee-flavored milk. He takes a sip anyway, and holds it to his chest, and doesn't look at Jun. "It's all right," he says.
In the next instant, Jun is back up on his feet, unfolding his legs gracefully and swooping the coffee down onto a coaster. "I'm sorry," he says again, not looking at Sho as he moves towards the door. "I shouldn't have woken you -"
Sho snatches his wrist as he passes. Jun tries to tug away, but Sho holds on tight. The silence stretches between them, taking the shape of ten years of difference, seeping into the space between Sho's fingers and the pulse-point of Jun's wrist.
"Why did you come here?"
Jun lets his arm go limp in Sho's grasp. "Where else should I have gone?"
~
Jun makes a beautiful woman.
He's the same height, the same build, but he's softer in some places and more pronounced in others. His shoulders aren't quite as broad, but his hips are wider and flare out more from his narrow waist. His body is still firm, solid, but he carries the muscle in a different way now.
His jaw is more rounded, but his lips are just as full as they always have been.
And his legs are just as long, but his thighs - his thighs are softer.
Sho has never fucked Jun before, but he's been with a decent number of women, and if he doesn't think too hard about what's going on, if he focuses on all the things about Jun that are new and unfamiliar, it's easy to pretend that this is okay. He hones in on Jun's breasts, humble but perky, and the soft sigh Jun breathes into his mouth when he thumbs over Jun's pink, pert nipples. He concentrates on the wet heat where Jun's body connects to his, where Jun kneels over him on the couch and is rubbing against him in tight, insistent circles.
Sho mumbles, "Here, let me -" and pulls away just enough to unbutton his jeans. Jun helpfully rises up on his knees so Sho has room to work the pants down his hips, far enough that he can wriggle out of and kick them the rest of the way off.
Jun snaps the waistband of Sho's boxers. "What about these?"
Sho starts to ask, "Do you want -" but before he can even finish, Jun is tugging them down his hips.
As soon as the boxers are gone, Jun settles down against him, and the sudden heat makes Sho arch up with a moan. Jun is slippery and warm, so warm, and he's gripping Sho's shoulders so hard that his hands are shaking as he rocks his hips purposefully against Sho's.
Sho starts again, "Do you want -"
Jun gasps, "Please."
Sho puts his hands on Jun's hips and guides him up and just a bit forward - and when he slips inside, they both gasp. It's a tight fit, Sho hasn't done this in a while, and he can only assume it's the first time for Jun -
That thought hits him like a sucker punch, low in his gut, enough to knock the air from his lungs. He can't quite pick the emotions apart, isn't sure if what he's feeling right now is guilt or triumph or something else entirely, but he grips Jun's hips tight and stutters out, "Are - are you -?" and isn't even sure what he's asking. A virgin? Why wouldn't he be? Where else would he have gone?
Who else would he have gone to?
. . .
Maybe some day I will cannibalize that sex scene for something else (probably not a suddenly-a-girl fic, because, like so many other things in life, I crave them sometimes but I realize they are problematic and my feelings about them are iffy).
In the meantime, this crazy thing is retired.
Crossposted here on Dreamwidth. You can comment there anonymously or using OpenID. ♥