Am I still hiding?
The nightmares of him are coming back, just us..nothing more..just the touching..the holding..looking into each other eyes..why do they haunt me so? I hate it so much, I want them to be gone. He used me as a puppet, a puppet he could easily take control over. If he wanted me to meet him some where I would be there in a flash, I thought he cared about me like I cared about him. I would of easily gave up my life for him, but instead he left me on a whim, like the leaves that seeds of dandelions that fly away in the sky he left me. Told me he had enough of me, and tossed me away like a used toy. I guess I was just a toy he was using, to get some satisfaction out of..but I always ask myself. Why did he choose me to use? When there was so many other women out that more beautiful then myself. But know I know the reason, I had a weakness for him. And like a hawk..he used my weakness to get to his prey. Those ember eyes of his still haunt me in my dreams...I wake up crying every week because of the stupid nightmares of him..I need to get over this..it will take time but I'm sure it will finally leave me alone.
So..I'm still not staying at my hotel room, I'm paying but I'm not staying. But I did stop there yesterday to get some clean clothes, and my outfit for work. Since I have to go back to work since my week off is gone. I decided that I would go back to work, I need the money for food, clothes, weapons, scrolls. And I used the last bit of money to get a new hair cut, it was getting a bit to long. Slightly over my shoulders so I had to get it cut. I noticed the village is more lovely at night then it is during the day, the streets still have people walking them but not as crowded like it is at day.
I guess I'm falling for the night more then during the day, but I'm still not telling my were I am, I no longer wear the clothes that I came into the village. The clothes that reminded me of home. They are hidden in a private place that I know in the Inn that's in my room. Of course I will still be staying there since I still go there every now and then to take a nap during the days but other then that I hardly use the place. Last night was the first time I went to sleep in that room, I was to tired to try to find a different place to stay...and I had a horrible headache. But it's my fault so I can't blame it on others.
But I got a letter from the Inn keeper, the lady at the hospital finally read my application and I'm now a head nurse at the hospital in the village, but even through I don't start until four weeks because of legal issues I have to keep this stupid waitress job. As much as I hate it, I guess I kinda like the extra attention I get, it keeps my mind from thinking to much. Even through older men give me their numbers..and men my age also..but that part if private..I wish not to talk about that.
So if anyone wishes to find where I am those are a few places..and if you really wish to talk to me, you can find me at someone away from the village..it's right outside of the south gate. During the day if you wish to see me..I might be at the field that is full of daisy's..that is if you wish to talk to me.
Mata Ne!
So..I'm still not staying at my hotel room, I'm paying but I'm not staying. But I did stop there yesterday to get some clean clothes, and my outfit for work. Since I have to go back to work since my week off is gone. I decided that I would go back to work, I need the money for food, clothes, weapons, scrolls. And I used the last bit of money to get a new hair cut, it was getting a bit to long. Slightly over my shoulders so I had to get it cut. I noticed the village is more lovely at night then it is during the day, the streets still have people walking them but not as crowded like it is at day.
I guess I'm falling for the night more then during the day, but I'm still not telling my were I am, I no longer wear the clothes that I came into the village. The clothes that reminded me of home. They are hidden in a private place that I know in the Inn that's in my room. Of course I will still be staying there since I still go there every now and then to take a nap during the days but other then that I hardly use the place. Last night was the first time I went to sleep in that room, I was to tired to try to find a different place to stay...and I had a horrible headache. But it's my fault so I can't blame it on others.
But I got a letter from the Inn keeper, the lady at the hospital finally read my application and I'm now a head nurse at the hospital in the village, but even through I don't start until four weeks because of legal issues I have to keep this stupid waitress job. As much as I hate it, I guess I kinda like the extra attention I get, it keeps my mind from thinking to much. Even through older men give me their numbers..and men my age also..but that part if private..I wish not to talk about that.
So if anyone wishes to find where I am those are a few places..and if you really wish to talk to me, you can find me at someone away from the village..it's right outside of the south gate. During the day if you wish to see me..I might be at the field that is full of daisy's..that is if you wish to talk to me.
Mata Ne!