Evry1zaHypocrite: loooooong lecture today in class about proper etiquette and sales shipping
Mr Platos: You slash with a sinew-bound rough vaalorn troll-claw at a krag yeti ( Read more... )

"You like me because I'm a scoundrel. They're just aren't enough scoundrels in your life."

The first person that can tell me who said this and when/where I will give you a million dollars.

Do you ever find yourself talking about your sex life in the middle of a room crowded with silent people all looking straight at you and feverishly wish that you could stop talking, but you just can't? In fact, rather than stop talking, you actually go ahead and say, "I wish I could stop talking! But I just can't!"? And then you start meowing ( Read more... )

friend 1: I had a gyno appointment today ( Read more... )

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Is it wrong that I miss you already?

I hate the feeling of innocence.

Of me being the innocent one.

There should be a handbook for EVERYTHING.

So I'm innocently surfing the Internet, minding my own business, when my precious virgin eyes are suddenly assualted by the malicious visage of the ugliest baby on the planet. It's receiving a kiss from its mother with the cool, smug look of evil over at CareersFromHome.com. I saw it in a pop-up ad, and after I recovered from my initial shock, I ( Read more... )

I am now a certified user of Microsoft Office Word.

YOU WILL BOW BEFORE ME!

Maybe all the hand-jiving and jitterbugging and mumble-talking in my immediate crazy surroundings inspired me, or maybe I have the beginnings of spring fever, but all day today I entertained many poor-impulse-control "what if?" scenarios. What if I grabbed this guy's ass? This guy, right here in front of me? Just got two hands in there and squeezed ( Read more... )