[TM] 164 - What are you waiting for?
[private]
So some recent conversation with Ronon got me thinking about...well...things. With Teyla, specifically.
And I’ve been asking myself that question...what *am* I waiting for?
I was married once...wasn’t very good at it. And I don’t like screwing up...I avoid doing things I’m no good at, y’know?
I like her...I do. I like her a lot. And yes, I care for her a great deal...but I also care for all my friends, and I’m not dating any of ‘em. You can care about people without being all puppy dog about ‘em.
I guess that’s part of it, too...I know Teyla cares for me. She cares for all of us...we’re *friends.* I know she cares as me as much as I care about her. When something happens to her, I get worried...even a little scared.
Okay...a lot scared.
Now, could this be something more? Yes...I will concede to that, *yes*, maybe there’s something between us worth pursuing. But I don’t know that for sure. I think that’s what I’m waiting for...that spark. That...thing. You know the thing. Kind of like...a solar flare. That moment that kind of rises up and consumes two people. It’s not necessarily rockets launching or bells ringing...it’s a split second when you look at another person and you know, without any doubt in your mind, that you can’t live without them. You can’t even go on breathing without them. It’s...powerful. Intense...it’s all-consuming, and that’s why it’s just a split-second.
That’s what I’m waiting for. That thing.
But not for me...not really. I mean...I *might* have had it once or twice. Still, I can’t say it for sure. And it’s not even Teyla I’m waiting for...not exactly.
I’m waiting for us. Both of us, together.
I’m waiting for us to both feel it...at the same time.
[/private]
Muse: John Sheppard
Fandom: Stargate ATLANTIS
Words: 315
So some recent conversation with Ronon got me thinking about...well...things. With Teyla, specifically.
And I’ve been asking myself that question...what *am* I waiting for?
I was married once...wasn’t very good at it. And I don’t like screwing up...I avoid doing things I’m no good at, y’know?
I like her...I do. I like her a lot. And yes, I care for her a great deal...but I also care for all my friends, and I’m not dating any of ‘em. You can care about people without being all puppy dog about ‘em.
I guess that’s part of it, too...I know Teyla cares for me. She cares for all of us...we’re *friends.* I know she cares as me as much as I care about her. When something happens to her, I get worried...even a little scared.
Okay...a lot scared.
Now, could this be something more? Yes...I will concede to that, *yes*, maybe there’s something between us worth pursuing. But I don’t know that for sure. I think that’s what I’m waiting for...that spark. That...thing. You know the thing. Kind of like...a solar flare. That moment that kind of rises up and consumes two people. It’s not necessarily rockets launching or bells ringing...it’s a split second when you look at another person and you know, without any doubt in your mind, that you can’t live without them. You can’t even go on breathing without them. It’s...powerful. Intense...it’s all-consuming, and that’s why it’s just a split-second.
That’s what I’m waiting for. That thing.
But not for me...not really. I mean...I *might* have had it once or twice. Still, I can’t say it for sure. And it’s not even Teyla I’m waiting for...not exactly.
I’m waiting for us. Both of us, together.
I’m waiting for us to both feel it...at the same time.
[/private]
Muse: John Sheppard
Fandom: Stargate ATLANTIS
Words: 315