Love in the Asylum
Narrator's POV
The afternoon after Alice and Jasper had begun to hate each other, he sat on the lawn with his groupies from the morning NA meeting. One of them was Lauren, a girl around his age. She was cute but too blonde to be his considered his type but that didn't mean Jasper wasn't interested in her. Or rather he was interested in whether Alice was watching as she flirted shamelessly with him.
Alice didn't even notice them until Jasper said something witty about another patient that made Lauren laugh. Her laugh was fake, loud and made Jasper cringe internally but still it made Alice look up, even if she looked annoyed at the interruption.
She glanced for a mere second and didn't look up again. She missed Lauren's wide eyed devotion, her hand on Jasper's thigh not to mention the whispered offer of oral pleasure in a janitor's closet that she inexplicably possessed the key to. When the hour was up Jasper hung back but Alice, rather then walking towards him, went off to another building.
The next day Alice had a visitor. Jasper was sitting with Lauren on the patio when he walked by. Although he had only been there a week he had already learned how to spot visitors. For one thing, their clothes were ironed, but the real clue was the way they moved across the lawn- trying to appear casual, but with anxious, disapproving expressions.
Jasper POV
The man appeared to be in his late forties, around six feet tall with dark black hair that was neither graying nor receding. He looked like a winker, the confident sort of man I despise instantly, the type my brother played tennis with.
He kissed Alice on the cheek while she smiled shyly at him. When I saw him pull a chair over, I swallowed my urge to rush over to Alice, throw her over my shoulder and runaway with her but instead I excused myself from Lauren and went to my room for a nap.
On the tenth day, I was rescued.
Later we would argue about who gave in first, she would say that I talked to her while I would reply that she invited me to.
I was with Lauren again; earlier I had confessed to her that I thought I might be gay, for some reason this made her more inclined to molest me all the more. Luckily, she had turned to say something to another groupie and I was hands-free when Alice stepped on to the patio.
I was encouraged to see her gaze over the crowd and pause in my direction. She had no choice but to walk by me, but rather then storming past me like I assumed she moved slowly, actually releasing a shy smile.. She was wearing black ballet flats, black skinny jeans and a tight shirt, it was red, tight and revealed the full breasts that I had been guessing at. There was something about her that made me want to pull her onto my lap and hold her close to me forever. When Alice tiptoed by, I caught her eye and smiled.
"How's the lawn therapy going?" I asked dryly.
"A bit slow lately," she replied looking at Lauren, who had turned back and was sizing the two of us.
Alice walked on and I waited about ten seconds before I made my apologies and went after her. She hadn't bothered to get rid of the second chair under the willow tree, the chair ripped something inside of me and I knew what I was going to say next. I sat down to her right; put my elbow on the wide armrest and rolled up my sleeve. My arm was speckled with marks-familiar scars, newer scabs and bruises. Alice surprised me by looking and not cringing.
I took in a deep breath before speaking.
"I never paid for my drugs, not that I can't afford them. Edward says that I have charisma, I don't know if that's true but for some reason I've always managed to con the people who believed that I was their friend into supplying my habit", I spoke quietly. She listened without interrupting, for which I was most grateful.
"I was fake and cruel. I purposely hurt people without any remorse. Once they could no longer help me get high I left them broke and in debt and went on to the next person. My parents died when I was sixteen, Edward was eighteen", I continued, almost ashamed by this point. "He took care of me, turned our small inheritance into a fortune. For that I resent him. Because of him I didn't fit in with my friends. Instead of the poor kid I was growing up, he turned me into a selfish spoiled brat. People at the country club looked down on us because we were from new money. The only person I can relate to is Edward and for that I hate him."
Alice nodded in understand. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked quietly
"Because you're the first person I've met in years whom I don't want to lie to," I answered truthfully. For a second I thought I heard her breath catch. "And because I shouldn't have said what I did the other day. It was cruel. I meant it to be and I shouldn't have said it."
"That's okay," Alice said with a shrug. "I guess, I asked for it."
"No reason for me to comply," I told her. "Why did you though? Ask for it?"
Alice grinned. "Nobody fights with me. I thought you'd be good at it."
"And was I?" I focused my eyes, willing her to glance up. I was so relieved by the look I saw in her now soft green eyes that I thought I would burst into song and dance, I was so happy.
"Merciless."
"That guy who visited yesterday," I said feeling proud and a silly at how casual I managed to sound "doesn't he fight with you?"
"My father?" she questioned, then shook her head. "No. Never. Well, it's more like he's impossible to fight with, so I don't bother."
"That was your father?" My voice must have wavered, because she looked at me with a touch of glee.
"Who did you think it was?" she was smiling now.
"Your boyfriend," although I wanted my smile to look amused it was actually one of relief.
"How disturbing," Alice mused
"Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked.
"Nope," she said with a shrug. Then she seemed hesitant but carried on talking, "Boys my age seem so immature. Besides I had my son a few weeks ago so that put my love life on hold."
I wasn't sure I heard her correctly. "You have a kid?"
Alice nodded slowly. "That's what I just said"
"How old are you?"
"Eighteen." Alice watched me closely waiting for some reaction. I merely nodded.
"I bet he's beautiful with big green eyes just like his mom."
"Actually he looks nothing like me", she answered but she didn't sound sad about that. "He has a few wisps if blonde hair and bright blue eyes."
"Where's his father?"
Alice shrugged. "I got drunk at a party, slept with some guy and had a kid. So, I don't know."
Alice shot me a look that basically said that she didn't want any pity.
"Who's taking care of him while you're here?"
"He's actually part of the reason why I'm here. My mother took him away to live with her so I burned down my father's house and then I was sent here", she sighed and shook her head. "Enough about me. What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?"
Instantly I thought of Maria but instead I mentioned Bella. "My brother is married to a woman I used to date."
I surprised myself; I didn't know why I was bringing this up.
"Your brother stole your girlfriend?" Alice asked, looking shocked.
"Well not exactly. It was our first and only date and after dinner I made the mistake of bringing her to a party that Edward was at. I think we'd already decided we were all wrong for each other, or at least that I was wrong for her. I was still hopeful though. Bella is unfettered. Happy. Almost pure. I guess thought it might rub off."
"Enough about your brother" Alice reprimanded me "he's all you talk about"
"Sorry." I paused. "What do you suggest to talk about then?"
"What do you do for a living?"
I shrugged. "I never really had a job but I guess you can say I'm a lawyer."
"What do you mean you guess?"
"Well in order to explain I have to talk about my brother and you just told me not to do that."
Alice rolled her eyes playfully. "I guess just this once you can talk about him."
"Well Edward was nervous about taking the bar exam so to ease his stress a little and I took it with him."
"And you passed?" Alice asked skeptically.
I nodded with a wide grin. "I actually got a higher score then my brother."
Alice looked at me deep in thought. "As much as you hate you're brother, you worship him."
I was going to reply but just then my head exploded. Everything had become familiar the sweats, the convulsions, the brick in my throat that kept me from drawing breath.
'Why was this still happening to me?' I wondered. I was supposed to be past the withdrawal, yet these episodes plagued me daily. 'Maybe I shouldn't have said so much' I thought as I clenched my eyed shut. What's the point of confessions when you're not wasted? There's no cushioning. I no longer wanted truth or even contact. I wanted a needle and one minute when no one was watching me.
I couldn't see anything but I felt those finger instantly- they seemed almost familiar as the drug rush I so desired. Alice was saying something. I couldn't make it out over the siren blaring in my ears. Even as I did what I did next, I waited for her to pull away. I took her hand off my arm and held it. I squeezed it gently as I began to breathe again. When she finally pulled away, she did so reluctantly.
"Jazz," she breathed into my ear, such a beautiful sound, my name caressed by that voice. In the background I heard mumbles, questioning buy professionally unconcerned and I knew there were nurses lurking nearby.
"Jazz," Alice said again putting her hand lightly on my shoulder, "They want to know if you're okay."
My vision sharpened on the angles of her face. "Tell them I'm glorious."