Rambling depressive thoughts ...
I think everyone knows where they were when certain things happen, right? Like when Princess Dianna died or when 9/11 happened or when Paul Walker died. I know I sure do. With Princess Dianna I was at my brother’s football presentation, enjoying the view of my brother’s rather sexy coach. With 9/11 and the time difference between USA and Australia I was in bed, asleep but I remember waking up that morning and getting ready for school and coming out to find everyone glued to the TV. Paul Walker ... I was in Geelong with my best friend Lisa, visiting our mutual friend also called Lisa. We were all standing in a store when I got a text message from another one of our friends about his teeth. We were shocked and gutted. He’s a movie star and we didn’t know him but we had spent the last 10 years and more falling in love with his portrayal of Brian O’Connor in the Fast and the Furious franchise. Through that we had gotten to know the kind soul that was Paul Walker and appreciate him for all the great things he had done for the world. We were shocked. And it sort of hit home to me how fleeting life can be.
I’ll admit that when I really think about it, I haven’t dealt with a lot of death personally. I have a rather small family and most of the deaths we’ve suffered happened when I was a small child. In more recent years there have been losses that I have been able to process as an adult. Some have happened suddenly and unexpected and the person was taken from us too soon (RIP Charlie) and others were fading before our eyes before they took their last breaths. Neither option is easy, whether you’re ready for it or not.
Lately? Whether it is celebrities or closer to home, I’ve had this sense for foreboding. My brother’s best friend’s father has been diagnosed with cancer and the prognosis is not good. In fact, that is an understatement. It’s unfair and more horrible than i can comprehend. This morning I received a text message from my step-mother. Family friend of theirs has had a stroke and is in a coma and there is talk of possible brain damage. It’s all so random and so cruel and it doesn’t matter if you’re old and lived your life to the fullest or if you’re young and got your whole life ahead of you. Life is fleeting and can be snuffed out at any moment.
I know it’s a pretty depressing view on life and it’s not normally something that I think about very often but lately ... I’m just seeing examples of that all over the place and it scares the crap out of me.
Recently it’s come to my attention that my grandmother isn’t getting any younger. She is nowhere near her deathbed of course. I am going to assume she has many, many years left in her. But something she did/said the other day made me really come to that realisation that my grandmother (my only living grandparent now) just like all of us, is not going to be around forever and at some point, I will have to say goodbye to people that mean everything to me. I’ve watched friends have to go through this but it never once occurred to me that some stage, whether it’s a friend or a parent of a grandparent we all have to say goodbye at some point. I’m not ready for that. I don’t think anyone really is ever ready whether they have time to say goodbye or not.
So this is not news to anyone, we’ve all suffered loss of some kind and we all know what it feels like. I just don’t think I’ve really thought about how unpredictable life is. It scares me but also makes me realise you really do have to make every second count, try to make a difference and make sure that the people you care about always know how much you love them.
I’ll admit that when I really think about it, I haven’t dealt with a lot of death personally. I have a rather small family and most of the deaths we’ve suffered happened when I was a small child. In more recent years there have been losses that I have been able to process as an adult. Some have happened suddenly and unexpected and the person was taken from us too soon (RIP Charlie) and others were fading before our eyes before they took their last breaths. Neither option is easy, whether you’re ready for it or not.
Lately? Whether it is celebrities or closer to home, I’ve had this sense for foreboding. My brother’s best friend’s father has been diagnosed with cancer and the prognosis is not good. In fact, that is an understatement. It’s unfair and more horrible than i can comprehend. This morning I received a text message from my step-mother. Family friend of theirs has had a stroke and is in a coma and there is talk of possible brain damage. It’s all so random and so cruel and it doesn’t matter if you’re old and lived your life to the fullest or if you’re young and got your whole life ahead of you. Life is fleeting and can be snuffed out at any moment.
I know it’s a pretty depressing view on life and it’s not normally something that I think about very often but lately ... I’m just seeing examples of that all over the place and it scares the crap out of me.
Recently it’s come to my attention that my grandmother isn’t getting any younger. She is nowhere near her deathbed of course. I am going to assume she has many, many years left in her. But something she did/said the other day made me really come to that realisation that my grandmother (my only living grandparent now) just like all of us, is not going to be around forever and at some point, I will have to say goodbye to people that mean everything to me. I’ve watched friends have to go through this but it never once occurred to me that some stage, whether it’s a friend or a parent of a grandparent we all have to say goodbye at some point. I’m not ready for that. I don’t think anyone really is ever ready whether they have time to say goodbye or not.
So this is not news to anyone, we’ve all suffered loss of some kind and we all know what it feels like. I just don’t think I’ve really thought about how unpredictable life is. It scares me but also makes me realise you really do have to make every second count, try to make a difference and make sure that the people you care about always know how much you love them.