dave's mom aka epic post
so i decided to write Eva, dave's mom, essentially a break up note just thanking her for always being so cool to me and stuff over the many MANY years dave and i had together. around 2:30 this afternoon i received this email:
Dear Tiffany,
Thank you for the lovely card you left with the picture. I already understood completely, but your sensitivity and kindness warmed my heart.
I too am hurting, Tiffany. I cried all the way home. You come with a long family history going back 10-12 years and I have always known of your dedication to and love for David.
I see no reason at all why you, Sean and I cannot remain in touch. You are like a family to us. I personally care what happens to you and where your life with take you. You are still welcome to stay at dedo’s house anytime you desire. And if there is anything I can help you with, I would like to know that you will feel free to call me.
I am here for you now...and always. To talk, or just hang out when you are ready. Let me know.
Hugs,
Eva
----
i thought this was very nice and quite a sweet gesture. i thought it was very nice that she said she thinks of me as family (even if her son did not. you dont do this sort of thing to family).
after work i decided to go by the beach, take a walk and clear my head. it was a PERFECT beach day! the water was bath-tub warm and crystal clear! the sand was all super glittery with pyrite. really lovely. if i had had my bathing suit i would have said "treaty be damned!" and gone for a swim. THAT'S how perfect it was. unfortunately, everyone in san diego ALSO thought it was a beach day so the place was PACKED so i didnt get to do the reflecting i was hoping for. i have some really great memories on that beach but i guess i'll have to go another day to remenis.
so when i got home, there was a big basket of flowers on my front door with a wonderful card from dave's mom. i was so touched i almost cried. it was just so sweet. so i sent her this email:
Dear Eva,
Thank you so much for the beautiful flowers! I just got home from work and it was a lovely (and unexpected) surprise.
i'm glad that you would like to remain in touch. one of the things that saddened me was the thought of not speaking to you lovely people again. ive been talking with sean quite a bit and he is really being helpful with this whole event. i have always been close with your family and, in all honesty, thought that one day we would all be real family together. i guess for now that can not be so, but who knows what the future may hold. i think that there is a quote about that: "man makes plans and [the universe] laughs".
as you can imagine, right now is very hard for me. i had a plan and it has been shattered. my heart is broken and my soul cries. it sounds dramatic but it's true. i think i'm most sad about the future i wanted to have with David and the experiences i longed to share. i really thought he was "the one".
i read this little plaque the other day that said: "just when the catepillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly". i was very moved by it. i hope that i can be a butterfly very soon.
love
tiffany
----
sure his mom is a little dramatic but, you know, she is a genuinely good person and i think that it really shows your true character when disasters like this occur, and yes, i consider this a terrible disaster in my life. probably the worst thing that has happened to me in i dont know how long. maybe since dave went to japan. she wrote this email back:
Dear Tiffany,
I am so glad you enjoyed the flowers. I wanted them to remind you of life and its possibilities.
You are young, beautiful and filled with so much creative potential. Never forget that. Relationships have their own life spans. I figured that out just by living life. I was just telling Michael’s daughter who is 22 and ended up with her heart broken several times already, that it is highly unlikely that she will fall in love, marry and stay with the same man till she is 90 years old. She is at that age when love must be “forever” and “everlasting,” unchanged for ever more once it happens. The funny thing is that it is us women who become disillusioned with men, once the reality of everyday life with them sets in. And it sets in every single time. LOL
I know what you are going through. I have been there myself, several times. I have also done the heartbreaking to others. Oh, well. The great thing about life is that springs always comes after wintertime.
The important thing is not to isolate yourself for too long. Force yourself to go out and be with other people. You actually are halfway there, as your relationship with David has been long-distance for quite some time. But I do understand about the plans and dreams. We all have them in our heads...and then things take another course. Just go with it. It all happens for a reason.
My puppy was just spayed. She will be grounded for the next two weeks with a collar around her neck. And I will be grounded with her. Oh well. If you feel like visiting this weekend and you don’t trust your car, I will come and get you. If you feel like being alone, I will understand. Do what feels good to you. Whatever it is, I am here for you, girl. Don’t forget. AND, the love stories in my life would make you laugh for sure. :-)
Hugs,
Eva
---
i havent written her back yet. i just really want her son back so bad. even though i think he's a real jerk right now, i still love him madly. damn...
Dear Tiffany,
Thank you for the lovely card you left with the picture. I already understood completely, but your sensitivity and kindness warmed my heart.
I too am hurting, Tiffany. I cried all the way home. You come with a long family history going back 10-12 years and I have always known of your dedication to and love for David.
I see no reason at all why you, Sean and I cannot remain in touch. You are like a family to us. I personally care what happens to you and where your life with take you. You are still welcome to stay at dedo’s house anytime you desire. And if there is anything I can help you with, I would like to know that you will feel free to call me.
I am here for you now...and always. To talk, or just hang out when you are ready. Let me know.
Hugs,
Eva
----
i thought this was very nice and quite a sweet gesture. i thought it was very nice that she said she thinks of me as family (even if her son did not. you dont do this sort of thing to family).
after work i decided to go by the beach, take a walk and clear my head. it was a PERFECT beach day! the water was bath-tub warm and crystal clear! the sand was all super glittery with pyrite. really lovely. if i had had my bathing suit i would have said "treaty be damned!" and gone for a swim. THAT'S how perfect it was. unfortunately, everyone in san diego ALSO thought it was a beach day so the place was PACKED so i didnt get to do the reflecting i was hoping for. i have some really great memories on that beach but i guess i'll have to go another day to remenis.
so when i got home, there was a big basket of flowers on my front door with a wonderful card from dave's mom. i was so touched i almost cried. it was just so sweet. so i sent her this email:
Dear Eva,
Thank you so much for the beautiful flowers! I just got home from work and it was a lovely (and unexpected) surprise.
i'm glad that you would like to remain in touch. one of the things that saddened me was the thought of not speaking to you lovely people again. ive been talking with sean quite a bit and he is really being helpful with this whole event. i have always been close with your family and, in all honesty, thought that one day we would all be real family together. i guess for now that can not be so, but who knows what the future may hold. i think that there is a quote about that: "man makes plans and [the universe] laughs".
as you can imagine, right now is very hard for me. i had a plan and it has been shattered. my heart is broken and my soul cries. it sounds dramatic but it's true. i think i'm most sad about the future i wanted to have with David and the experiences i longed to share. i really thought he was "the one".
i read this little plaque the other day that said: "just when the catepillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly". i was very moved by it. i hope that i can be a butterfly very soon.
love
tiffany
----
sure his mom is a little dramatic but, you know, she is a genuinely good person and i think that it really shows your true character when disasters like this occur, and yes, i consider this a terrible disaster in my life. probably the worst thing that has happened to me in i dont know how long. maybe since dave went to japan. she wrote this email back:
Dear Tiffany,
I am so glad you enjoyed the flowers. I wanted them to remind you of life and its possibilities.
You are young, beautiful and filled with so much creative potential. Never forget that. Relationships have their own life spans. I figured that out just by living life. I was just telling Michael’s daughter who is 22 and ended up with her heart broken several times already, that it is highly unlikely that she will fall in love, marry and stay with the same man till she is 90 years old. She is at that age when love must be “forever” and “everlasting,” unchanged for ever more once it happens. The funny thing is that it is us women who become disillusioned with men, once the reality of everyday life with them sets in. And it sets in every single time. LOL
I know what you are going through. I have been there myself, several times. I have also done the heartbreaking to others. Oh, well. The great thing about life is that springs always comes after wintertime.
The important thing is not to isolate yourself for too long. Force yourself to go out and be with other people. You actually are halfway there, as your relationship with David has been long-distance for quite some time. But I do understand about the plans and dreams. We all have them in our heads...and then things take another course. Just go with it. It all happens for a reason.
My puppy was just spayed. She will be grounded for the next two weeks with a collar around her neck. And I will be grounded with her. Oh well. If you feel like visiting this weekend and you don’t trust your car, I will come and get you. If you feel like being alone, I will understand. Do what feels good to you. Whatever it is, I am here for you, girl. Don’t forget. AND, the love stories in my life would make you laugh for sure. :-)
Hugs,
Eva
---
i havent written her back yet. i just really want her son back so bad. even though i think he's a real jerk right now, i still love him madly. damn...