[Chaptered] A Broken Love Song 7/?
Title : A Broken Love Song (Chapter 7)
Author : lovu_lovu_aiba
Beta : andreja1989 *thanks for feel sorry for me LOL, thats means a lot <3*
Pairing : Sakuraiba, Junba, Ohmiya
Genre : AU, Romance, Angst
Rating : PG13
Disclaimer : The boys aren't mine, I really hope I own them tho XD
Summary : Aiba Masaki used to be a great songwriter until the death of his beloved made him stop composing. Yet, the arrival of Sakurai Sho has colored his life. Sho taught him what is love and made him knew happiness again. But life...never be that easy...
Seventh Melody...
His song was always so beautiful; it moved another people’s heart until the point where it could bring them to a world that they didn’t even know. That’s why since he was still a college student, he was already famous. People wanted to sing his song, he was popular in university and sometimes his lecturer asked him to join a concert although he wasn’t even from a instrument division. But right after that when people praised him because of his song, someone approached him and told him that his song has no soul. A man named Matsumoto...
Aiba felt really pissed off toward that man. What did he know about his song anyway? Although deep down in his heart, he understood that it was true. Aiba loved music even since he still couldn’t tell the difference between his dad and another man. He slept whenever his mom sang a song for him; his cry would stop abruptly if he heard his grandmother sing for him, he was born to be a musician. But he knew, since he entered college he lost something, his technique was getting better, everything about him was getting better but his songs had no soul. He lost his personality, he was afraid he would ruin his songs if he added his personality in there, of course he knew about that. He was just too afraid to accept that.
Jun told him directly, he didn’t praise Aiba if he thought Aiba didn’t deserve to be praised. His straightness and honesty was always admired by Aiba. Jun always told him the truth, not because he didn’t care about Aiba’s feeling but he wanted his boyfriend to get better. Aiba knew that Jun didn’t even understand about his music, but Aiba believed in him, Jun caught the meaning behind his music more than other people.
It was almost two years since they started dating, Aiba used to come over to Jun’s apartment and they spend the night together. Two years that made Aiba sure he found the right one, the one that he wanted to spent the rest of his life with. He loved to see Jun’s back in the kitchen, his figure in the living room that read his script, he even loved how Jun always found the right time to join him in the bathtub. But who didn’t want to date Matsumoto Jun? Aiba knew the answer, no one… everyone wanted to date him. Even Aiba felt really insecure to date him…
“What are you thinking?” Jun asked as he observed Aiba’s face carefully.
Aiba turned at him, he looked into the deep brown eyes as he asked back, “Guess it…”
Jun’s cheeks tightened and he smiled lightly, “Me?”
Aiba sniggered because his narcissistic boyfriend, “Yes, I thought about you,” he nodded his head. But Jun caught both his hand and placed them on his shoulders.
“Now I’m serious Masaki, what were you thinking?” he asked again, looking into his eyes didn’t help Aiba.
“Thought about how many people who thinking about my boyfriend at the moment…” Aiba finally answered but he showed his sullen expression right after that.
Jun laughed as he brought Aiba’s hair behind his ear, “You want me to add you to the list or not?”
Aiba hit his head playfully, “People know we are dating but I think they still wait when will you dump me…”
Jun tugged Aiba slowly to his chest and his finger curling Aiba’s hair on slow movement, “You are afraid I’ll dump you someday?”
Aiba shook his head, “I’m afraid you’ll stop to love me someday…”
Jun cupped Aiba’s head and placed his forehead on Aiba’s one, “Masaki… I can’t promise you I won’t change, but together with you like this is the best thing that happened in my life and I want it to last forever… For me it is enough for now because I love you and I know you love me…”
“Unfair…”
Jun freed him and he frowned, “What is it?”
“You just made me fall for you again…” Aiba pouted his lips, the action that always made Jun unable to hold himself anymore for not attacking his boyfriend right there and then.
“You made me fall for you deeper every second so don’t worry…” Jun planted a kiss on Aiba’s forehead. “It’s fair for both of us…”
~*~
Aiba wasn’t sure if his decision to know Sho more was right or not. He felt like he cheated on Jun, although he is sure he doesn’t feel anything except guilt toward Sho. He knew he was being an ass to Sho and was Sho never mad at him, not even once. Instead he was blaming himself for everything that happened, although it was obviously Aiba’s faults. Sho through a lot for him, hurt himself, pushed his feelings away just to protect someone like him. It wasn’t as if Aiba never thought about this before, but he just tried to blind himself again and again. He closed his heart from everyone, because he was afraid if he let someone come closer, enter his heart, someday… that person would leave him…
It was so hard to ignore Sho, maybe because he was so nice, so kind hearted and so patient toward Aiba. It would be really easy to open his heart to someone like Sho, he realized it since they married. But that didn’t change the fact that every second his heart screamed for Jun’s love. Nino always said that when he didn’t try to move on, was the same as if someone jabbed the dagger into his heart but Aiba didn’t try to take it out and let the dagger stabbed into his heart, made his wound bleeding forever. Aiba always answered with the same answer, “If my wound means keeping Jun alive in my heart, I don’t mind…”
Aiba saw his reflection in the mirror, touched his bangs slowly to fix it up. He turned his face when he heard someone opened the door. He smiled at Sho as he said, “Okaeri…”
Sho smiled back to him, “Tadaima… ready?”
“What do you think?” he asked as he turned himself to Sho.
Sho tilted his head, looked like if he tried to judge. “Better that I expected…” he nodded and messed Aiba’s hair with his fingers. Sho’s light actions like that always made Aiba feel so warm. It was really awkward before to live together when Aiba already knew Sho’s feelings for him and after he decided to stop being an ass toward Sho. But slowly they got used to it, and sometimes Aiba thought life with Sho was same as living with Nino (just without his bratty attitude).
“How is your family?” Aiba asked as he waited for Sho to change his clothes.
“You met them already…” Sho answered as he slipped his hand to the sleeve.
“Did they know about my motive to marry you?” he asked Sho again but now his eyes darted on the floor.
Sho walked slowly and sat beside Aiba as he was buttoning his shirt. “No, don’t worry…” Sho smiled and held Aiba’s hand.
“I’m not worrying about it… I seriously am not… I mean, it was my fault…” Aiba felt everything so funny. There was a time when he wanted Sho to hate him until he was doing anything, but now he wanted to look at least appropriate besides him.
Again Sho showed his warm smile to Aiba, “Don’t worry about anything, just be yourself and they will love you like I do…”
Aiba nodded slowly, Aiba liked the way Sho said he loved him. It was so light, without pressured, never wait for an answer, it wasn’t a greedy or passionate love but the pure and patient one. A love that made Aiba feel comfortable, a feeling that someone loved him but he didn’t need to worry about anything. Sho held Aiba’s hand and brought them on their feet. Aiba felt his cell phone vibrating; he took it from his pocket and saw he got a message from Nino. He opened the message while walked to the car.
From : Ohno’s Nino
Subject : I know you can…
Moving on doesn’t always mean to forget about everything.
It doesn’t mean you don’t love him anymore…
You know, He is always in your heart…
I know you can, Masaki… Itterasai…
They arrived in Sho’s parent’s house half of an hour later. Aiba opened the car door and just like the first time he moved to Sho’s house, stunned by how rich this Sakurai family is. Sho approached him and he wrapped his hand around Aiba’s waist and brought him to enter the house. Sho’s parents were really nice and his brother as well. Aiba couldn’t ask anything more than that, he was so regretting because he had the bad intention to that family before, he married Sho for his status and money. Sho definitely didn’t say anything bad about him to his family, because Sho’s mother asked Aiba how was their honey moon or did his son treat Aiba well or not. But Sho saved him fast and told his mother how happy he was this past some months after he married Aiba. They ended the walk around the house as their parents asked Sho to show Aiba around.
“You didn’t need to lie about that…” Aiba started the conversation when they walked on a long hallway.
“About what, exactly?” Sho asked him, his voice full of concern.
“That you’re happy since you married me…”
Sho stopped his step, “But I’m happy… Stop to judging that I will never be happy to be with you, Masaki…” Sho said calmly. “This is my room, my brother’s and my sister’s…” he pointed to three doors on the hallway.
“Your sister’s…?” Aiba asked because he didn’t meet his sister earlier. “I think your sibling just Shuu-kun?”
“Want to see her room? She liked you so much…” Aiba nodded in response and Sho opened the room. Aiba somehow understood Sakurai typical room now, a large and almost empty room. His sister’s room was similar with Sho’s room. Aiba expected to see her after Sho opened the door but he saw no one in the room.
“Where is she?” Aiba asked as he looked around, still looking for a girl figure in the room.
Sho walked slowly and sat on the chair in front on a piano, he patted the remaining seat beside him. Aiba sat there hesitantly. “There is a festival on your university every year, right?”
“Uhhh...yeah?” Aiba didn’t really understand what actually Sho tried to say.
“Do you remember that on your first year you played a song on auditorium?”
Aiba frowned but nodded. “But how did you know?”
“Because I was there with my sister… she was two years younger than us and wanted to enter your college, so we went to the festival to look around. She was a pianist by the way… we went directly to the auditorium because we heard there was a small concert from department of music there… Then we saw you play a song beautifully… and we both fell for you at the same time…”
Aiba grabbed Sho’s sleeve, he still frowned when he finally asked, “Why did you use past tenses?”
“Because she no longer here…” Sho answered slowly.
“I’m sorry…” Aiba whispered, he regretted to agree to enter that room.
Sho shook his head, “She liked to play piano since she was child, it was her dream to enter that art school although our parents didn’t agree… She started to doubt her own dream until I brought her to that festival, and until she saw you… She decided she wanted to be your junior, because she knew I have the same interest in you as well. She said she wouldn’t introduce me to you when she will already know you…” Sho’s voice disappeared every second he continued to talk. Aiba reached on Sho’s shoulder, he bought his husband to lean on his shoulder as he caressed Sho’s hair slowly.
He understood that feeling so well, the lost when someone they loved left them. The loneliness, the emptiness and the regret because they didn’t express enough how much they love that person. They shared the same feeling but Aiba felt as if he was too egoistic to even understand that Sho actually has his own pain. He was too drowned in his own pain, forgetting about everyone around him. He tightened his hug as he felt Sho’s body was trembling. They kept that position until Sho calmed down, Aiba freed him and felt so stupid to doubt his own decision to know Sho more.
He wasn’t sure he was ready for it or not, but he decided he would try. “Sho, I don’t know if I can forget about Jun or not… I don’t know if I can stop loving him or not… but let’s move on together… for your sister and for Jun…”
Sho looked at him and smiled as he caressed Aiba’s hair. “Did I play fly away at that time?” Aiba asked Sho to make sure and Sho nodded. He wrote Fly Away when he entered his college. Because he wanted to meet new people, to reach his dream. But he played it when he was at his first year, when he started to wonder about himself. Fly Away was the song that made him meet Jun, because right after that Jun approached him and said that his song has no soul.
He turned himself to face the piano and opened the cover. Sho eyes widened as he followed Aiba’s movement. Aiba traced the piano keys slowly as he heard Sho’s whisper, “Masaki…?”
He turned at Sho and Sho could see his wife eyes were teary, his lips were trembling so did his hands. But Sho understood his gaze; he has already decided to do it. Aiba closed his eyes and he felt warm water drop on his cheeks. ‘Jun… I love you… I love you and will always love you… so help me to walk on this new path, help me to fly away again…’ Aiba opened his eyes again and for the first time in two years, he heard his own melody, his dream, his feeling; the sadness, the pain, the losing, the helpless, the loneliness… Fly away…
AN : Did this chapter answer your question? or at least some of them? XD
I hope so *nod nod*
and I hope you enjoyed the story XD
Author : lovu_lovu_aiba
Beta : andreja1989 *thanks for feel sorry for me LOL, thats means a lot <3*
Pairing : Sakuraiba, Junba, Ohmiya
Genre : AU, Romance, Angst
Rating : PG13
Disclaimer : The boys aren't mine, I really hope I own them tho XD
Summary : Aiba Masaki used to be a great songwriter until the death of his beloved made him stop composing. Yet, the arrival of Sakurai Sho has colored his life. Sho taught him what is love and made him knew happiness again. But life...never be that easy...
Seventh Melody...
His song was always so beautiful; it moved another people’s heart until the point where it could bring them to a world that they didn’t even know. That’s why since he was still a college student, he was already famous. People wanted to sing his song, he was popular in university and sometimes his lecturer asked him to join a concert although he wasn’t even from a instrument division. But right after that when people praised him because of his song, someone approached him and told him that his song has no soul. A man named Matsumoto...
Aiba felt really pissed off toward that man. What did he know about his song anyway? Although deep down in his heart, he understood that it was true. Aiba loved music even since he still couldn’t tell the difference between his dad and another man. He slept whenever his mom sang a song for him; his cry would stop abruptly if he heard his grandmother sing for him, he was born to be a musician. But he knew, since he entered college he lost something, his technique was getting better, everything about him was getting better but his songs had no soul. He lost his personality, he was afraid he would ruin his songs if he added his personality in there, of course he knew about that. He was just too afraid to accept that.
Jun told him directly, he didn’t praise Aiba if he thought Aiba didn’t deserve to be praised. His straightness and honesty was always admired by Aiba. Jun always told him the truth, not because he didn’t care about Aiba’s feeling but he wanted his boyfriend to get better. Aiba knew that Jun didn’t even understand about his music, but Aiba believed in him, Jun caught the meaning behind his music more than other people.
It was almost two years since they started dating, Aiba used to come over to Jun’s apartment and they spend the night together. Two years that made Aiba sure he found the right one, the one that he wanted to spent the rest of his life with. He loved to see Jun’s back in the kitchen, his figure in the living room that read his script, he even loved how Jun always found the right time to join him in the bathtub. But who didn’t want to date Matsumoto Jun? Aiba knew the answer, no one… everyone wanted to date him. Even Aiba felt really insecure to date him…
“What are you thinking?” Jun asked as he observed Aiba’s face carefully.
Aiba turned at him, he looked into the deep brown eyes as he asked back, “Guess it…”
Jun’s cheeks tightened and he smiled lightly, “Me?”
Aiba sniggered because his narcissistic boyfriend, “Yes, I thought about you,” he nodded his head. But Jun caught both his hand and placed them on his shoulders.
“Now I’m serious Masaki, what were you thinking?” he asked again, looking into his eyes didn’t help Aiba.
“Thought about how many people who thinking about my boyfriend at the moment…” Aiba finally answered but he showed his sullen expression right after that.
Jun laughed as he brought Aiba’s hair behind his ear, “You want me to add you to the list or not?”
Aiba hit his head playfully, “People know we are dating but I think they still wait when will you dump me…”
Jun tugged Aiba slowly to his chest and his finger curling Aiba’s hair on slow movement, “You are afraid I’ll dump you someday?”
Aiba shook his head, “I’m afraid you’ll stop to love me someday…”
Jun cupped Aiba’s head and placed his forehead on Aiba’s one, “Masaki… I can’t promise you I won’t change, but together with you like this is the best thing that happened in my life and I want it to last forever… For me it is enough for now because I love you and I know you love me…”
“Unfair…”
Jun freed him and he frowned, “What is it?”
“You just made me fall for you again…” Aiba pouted his lips, the action that always made Jun unable to hold himself anymore for not attacking his boyfriend right there and then.
“You made me fall for you deeper every second so don’t worry…” Jun planted a kiss on Aiba’s forehead. “It’s fair for both of us…”
~*~
Aiba wasn’t sure if his decision to know Sho more was right or not. He felt like he cheated on Jun, although he is sure he doesn’t feel anything except guilt toward Sho. He knew he was being an ass to Sho and was Sho never mad at him, not even once. Instead he was blaming himself for everything that happened, although it was obviously Aiba’s faults. Sho through a lot for him, hurt himself, pushed his feelings away just to protect someone like him. It wasn’t as if Aiba never thought about this before, but he just tried to blind himself again and again. He closed his heart from everyone, because he was afraid if he let someone come closer, enter his heart, someday… that person would leave him…
It was so hard to ignore Sho, maybe because he was so nice, so kind hearted and so patient toward Aiba. It would be really easy to open his heart to someone like Sho, he realized it since they married. But that didn’t change the fact that every second his heart screamed for Jun’s love. Nino always said that when he didn’t try to move on, was the same as if someone jabbed the dagger into his heart but Aiba didn’t try to take it out and let the dagger stabbed into his heart, made his wound bleeding forever. Aiba always answered with the same answer, “If my wound means keeping Jun alive in my heart, I don’t mind…”
Aiba saw his reflection in the mirror, touched his bangs slowly to fix it up. He turned his face when he heard someone opened the door. He smiled at Sho as he said, “Okaeri…”
Sho smiled back to him, “Tadaima… ready?”
“What do you think?” he asked as he turned himself to Sho.
Sho tilted his head, looked like if he tried to judge. “Better that I expected…” he nodded and messed Aiba’s hair with his fingers. Sho’s light actions like that always made Aiba feel so warm. It was really awkward before to live together when Aiba already knew Sho’s feelings for him and after he decided to stop being an ass toward Sho. But slowly they got used to it, and sometimes Aiba thought life with Sho was same as living with Nino (just without his bratty attitude).
“How is your family?” Aiba asked as he waited for Sho to change his clothes.
“You met them already…” Sho answered as he slipped his hand to the sleeve.
“Did they know about my motive to marry you?” he asked Sho again but now his eyes darted on the floor.
Sho walked slowly and sat beside Aiba as he was buttoning his shirt. “No, don’t worry…” Sho smiled and held Aiba’s hand.
“I’m not worrying about it… I seriously am not… I mean, it was my fault…” Aiba felt everything so funny. There was a time when he wanted Sho to hate him until he was doing anything, but now he wanted to look at least appropriate besides him.
Again Sho showed his warm smile to Aiba, “Don’t worry about anything, just be yourself and they will love you like I do…”
Aiba nodded slowly, Aiba liked the way Sho said he loved him. It was so light, without pressured, never wait for an answer, it wasn’t a greedy or passionate love but the pure and patient one. A love that made Aiba feel comfortable, a feeling that someone loved him but he didn’t need to worry about anything. Sho held Aiba’s hand and brought them on their feet. Aiba felt his cell phone vibrating; he took it from his pocket and saw he got a message from Nino. He opened the message while walked to the car.
From : Ohno’s Nino
Subject : I know you can…
Moving on doesn’t always mean to forget about everything.
It doesn’t mean you don’t love him anymore…
You know, He is always in your heart…
I know you can, Masaki… Itterasai…
They arrived in Sho’s parent’s house half of an hour later. Aiba opened the car door and just like the first time he moved to Sho’s house, stunned by how rich this Sakurai family is. Sho approached him and he wrapped his hand around Aiba’s waist and brought him to enter the house. Sho’s parents were really nice and his brother as well. Aiba couldn’t ask anything more than that, he was so regretting because he had the bad intention to that family before, he married Sho for his status and money. Sho definitely didn’t say anything bad about him to his family, because Sho’s mother asked Aiba how was their honey moon or did his son treat Aiba well or not. But Sho saved him fast and told his mother how happy he was this past some months after he married Aiba. They ended the walk around the house as their parents asked Sho to show Aiba around.
“You didn’t need to lie about that…” Aiba started the conversation when they walked on a long hallway.
“About what, exactly?” Sho asked him, his voice full of concern.
“That you’re happy since you married me…”
Sho stopped his step, “But I’m happy… Stop to judging that I will never be happy to be with you, Masaki…” Sho said calmly. “This is my room, my brother’s and my sister’s…” he pointed to three doors on the hallway.
“Your sister’s…?” Aiba asked because he didn’t meet his sister earlier. “I think your sibling just Shuu-kun?”
“Want to see her room? She liked you so much…” Aiba nodded in response and Sho opened the room. Aiba somehow understood Sakurai typical room now, a large and almost empty room. His sister’s room was similar with Sho’s room. Aiba expected to see her after Sho opened the door but he saw no one in the room.
“Where is she?” Aiba asked as he looked around, still looking for a girl figure in the room.
Sho walked slowly and sat on the chair in front on a piano, he patted the remaining seat beside him. Aiba sat there hesitantly. “There is a festival on your university every year, right?”
“Uhhh...yeah?” Aiba didn’t really understand what actually Sho tried to say.
“Do you remember that on your first year you played a song on auditorium?”
Aiba frowned but nodded. “But how did you know?”
“Because I was there with my sister… she was two years younger than us and wanted to enter your college, so we went to the festival to look around. She was a pianist by the way… we went directly to the auditorium because we heard there was a small concert from department of music there… Then we saw you play a song beautifully… and we both fell for you at the same time…”
Aiba grabbed Sho’s sleeve, he still frowned when he finally asked, “Why did you use past tenses?”
“Because she no longer here…” Sho answered slowly.
“I’m sorry…” Aiba whispered, he regretted to agree to enter that room.
Sho shook his head, “She liked to play piano since she was child, it was her dream to enter that art school although our parents didn’t agree… She started to doubt her own dream until I brought her to that festival, and until she saw you… She decided she wanted to be your junior, because she knew I have the same interest in you as well. She said she wouldn’t introduce me to you when she will already know you…” Sho’s voice disappeared every second he continued to talk. Aiba reached on Sho’s shoulder, he bought his husband to lean on his shoulder as he caressed Sho’s hair slowly.
He understood that feeling so well, the lost when someone they loved left them. The loneliness, the emptiness and the regret because they didn’t express enough how much they love that person. They shared the same feeling but Aiba felt as if he was too egoistic to even understand that Sho actually has his own pain. He was too drowned in his own pain, forgetting about everyone around him. He tightened his hug as he felt Sho’s body was trembling. They kept that position until Sho calmed down, Aiba freed him and felt so stupid to doubt his own decision to know Sho more.
He wasn’t sure he was ready for it or not, but he decided he would try. “Sho, I don’t know if I can forget about Jun or not… I don’t know if I can stop loving him or not… but let’s move on together… for your sister and for Jun…”
Sho looked at him and smiled as he caressed Aiba’s hair. “Did I play fly away at that time?” Aiba asked Sho to make sure and Sho nodded. He wrote Fly Away when he entered his college. Because he wanted to meet new people, to reach his dream. But he played it when he was at his first year, when he started to wonder about himself. Fly Away was the song that made him meet Jun, because right after that Jun approached him and said that his song has no soul.
He turned himself to face the piano and opened the cover. Sho eyes widened as he followed Aiba’s movement. Aiba traced the piano keys slowly as he heard Sho’s whisper, “Masaki…?”
He turned at Sho and Sho could see his wife eyes were teary, his lips were trembling so did his hands. But Sho understood his gaze; he has already decided to do it. Aiba closed his eyes and he felt warm water drop on his cheeks. ‘Jun… I love you… I love you and will always love you… so help me to walk on this new path, help me to fly away again…’ Aiba opened his eyes again and for the first time in two years, he heard his own melody, his dream, his feeling; the sadness, the pain, the losing, the helpless, the loneliness… Fly away…
AN : Did this chapter answer your question? or at least some of them? XD
I hope so *nod nod*
and I hope you enjoyed the story XD