[Chaptered] The Bet 4/?
Aiba`s POV
I waited for his answer, he looked so shocked. I couldn’t blame him, he saw me giving blow job to a guy, but I personally thought it wasn’t my fault. He was the one who’s sneaking up on people in the bathroom…
He tried to control his emotions, that’s what I thought. He looked like thinking about something and then looked back at me, “What do you want?” he asked me. I felt like he had rejected me, I`d never been rejected by someone…Well… Reiko, maybe. But she had mysteriously disappeared after she left me. I had never seen her face again after that, not that I wanted to, to begin with…
“Nothing…” I answered him. I looked directly at him, trying to catch a hint of his real impression of me. I didn’t know why I care about his impression of me, we didn’t even know each other. He looked deep in thought, then he turned his head and looked at me.
“If you want me to shut my mouth about what happened in the toilet, you have my word,” he said it like he didn’t care at all. Maybe it was just like any other ordinary thing for him that he simply didn’t want to see. Like when you open the bathroom door while someone’s still using it.
“No… I don’t care about that…” I answered, that was true enough. I didn’t care at all, he could spread it if he wanted to.
“You can’t not care about that…” he said it softly and for a second I could’ve sworn I could see his sadness and pain… Even if I didn’t know why he was looking so sad.
“You`re so nice Sakurai-san,” I smiled at him… Maybe my impression of him was right after all, he wasn’t a cold and mean person.
“Don’t get me wrong,” he snapped, looking worried.
“I`m not…” I was sure about that now… This guy was a nice person, he just couldn’t express his feelings well.
“Then what?” he asked me, looking mad.
Honestly, I didn’t know that, I just liked him. I wanted to ask to myself if I could do this. I thought it would be better if I’d be honest in this kind of situation,”I don’t really understand what I feel… I just wanted to talk with you…If you’d ask me why… Maybe I want to apologize…” Apologize for what? I didn’t even understand myself…
“No need to do that…,” he said softly, even if he didn’t know me I felt that he tried to understand my feelings or maybe the position I’m in.
“I know… But I couldn’t stop myself from coming here after I got to know that you’re always here… From Ninomiya-san…” Why was I being honest with a stranger? I couldn’t stop myself though, “I always wondered… Maybe we could’ve been friends if we’d met in different situation…” Ahhh… I said it…
“We couldn’t be friends even if we’d met in different situation…” he answered to that, not arrogantly, but in a soft tone, like he couldn’t be my friend not wouldn’t want to…
“I agree…” I answered. I heard the bell ringing, lunch time was over. He and I would be just strangers from now on. At least he wasn’t angry at me.
“I hope we can talk again sometime… Maybe under better circumstances… I`m sorry for disturbing you, Sakurai-san…” I knew those were just empty words, he wouldn’t be talking to me again…
“No problem…” he answered. I smiled to him, for the last time…
I walked back and closed the door, leaning my trembling body against the it, that was so intense… I didn’t understand why I was so nervous… I just talked with an ordinary human, nothing special…
I walked back to my class, some of my friends wanted to know why I hadn’t came back for lunch, where had I been… But I just smiled, I couldn’t tell them I talked to Sakurai Sho. They would go all “HEHH?? THAT SAKURAI SHO??”, “Prince Sakurai??” or something like that. Our conversation felt so intense for me not because he was The Prince Sakurai Sho, but because I felt guilty… Just a bit…
The bell was ringing again, I gathered my stuff and walked out of the class. I wanted to go home early today… Maybe I could ask my boss to cut my work hours for today, so I could head back home early and finish my book. Then tomorrow I could return it. But someone was already waiting for me in front of my classroom. Matsumoto Jun was standing in front of my class and smiled to me when he saw me. I smiled back at him in confusion. What the hell is going on with Sakurai Sho`s gang? They have gathered around me lately. He waved at me, silently asking me to come closer. I walked toward him and stopped in front of him.
“Aiba Masaki right…?” he asked.
“And you`re Matsumoto Jun,” I added. He laughed at me. “Do you need something Matsumoto-san…?” I asked him.
“Yes… I think so…” he answered and smiled at me.
“From me?” He nodded.
“What can I do for you…?” I asked him clueless. He smiled again and took hold of my hand softly, I felt really shocked but I didn’t pull my hand away. He looked relieved because of that. He glanced at our hands then back at my face and then yanked me to Sakurai Sho`s rest room without saying a word.
He closed the door, keeping a hold on my hand. Then he tilted his head and smiled again. What is going on? I don’t understand…
He came closer cornering me against the wall. His right hand kept holding my hand, his other hand rested on my right side on the wall. He moved in closer… I could see his brown eyes, then his long eyelashes, then a mole on his bottom lip… The next thing I knew, I couldn’t see anything because I had closed my eyes, now feeling his lips on mine…
*****
I felt really terrible and miserable. I didn’t even know why… I wanted to go home, but that would be the same as willingly going straight into the hell. So I forced myself to go to my working place. I worked at a konbini near my school. My thoughts again wandered as I looked at the sky. If I’d have a normal family I wouldn’t need to work at konbini, instead I could play with my friends. If I’d have a normal mom I`d come back home early and eat delicious food everyday. If I’d have a normal dad I`d play baseball and soccer with him…Why me? What did I do wrong? This was really unfair… Me, Aiba Masaki, a poor boy with messed up family, and there was Sakurai Sho - smart and rich guy with perfectly normal family and perfect friends… Totally unfair~~
I changed into a strong Masaki, but it didn’t change anything. My mother was still a whore and my dad was still unemployed. So what do I have to do to change my life? The answer is - nothing… Because I was born in this world for nothing, my life is useless.
I opened the konbini`s door and greeted my boss, acted cheerful. I worked hard like always, my boss always praised me because I could communicate with the customers really well. I finished my job and went home after it was already dark outside. I wanted to sleep now, to clear my mind from my negative thoughts… I walked back home and silently opened the door. There was no need to say “Tadaima~~” even though I wanted to say it so badly. Like I said… I wanted a normal family…
I took off my shoes and walked through the dark to my room on the second floor. I was used to slowly walking through the darkness, I didn’t need wake up anyone at home. I entered my room slowly and turned on the light. I opened my book, trying to do my homework but I couldn’t concentrate, I opened the library book but I couldn’t concentrate on reading either. So I just wandered around my room and decided it`s time to sleep. I turned off my lamp and walked to my bed. I tried to close my eyes, when I heard someone knocking on my door. I walked toward the door, unlocked, and opened it. My dad was standing in front of my room, smelling bad, like alcohol.
“Do you need something?” I asked him. He came closer and staggered into my room.
“What do you want?”
All of sudden he hauled me and threw my body onto my bed. I felt my head hitting the wall, it hurt like hell and I was shocked. What did he want from me?? I felt my vision becoming blurry. I tried to pull myself up and do something to defend myself. When I tried to stand up he restrained me from doing so and started to strip my clothes. I now realized what’s going on, he was trying to rape me!!
“Let me go!! What the hell are you doing??” I shouted at him and struggled to free myself. He laughed like crazy and tried to unzip my pants now. I began to panic, I had to do something!!
“Don’t play hard to get… I know you are giving sex services to ojii-sans… Let me taste you…” he laughed like crazy again. I tried hard to push him away but it wasn’t working.
“NO!!” I screamed, “What are you thinking? You’re my dad!”
“Stop with this parent-son stuff, you’re not my child!! We had never known that for sure!! Your whore of a mother sleeps with a different person every night!” he laughed again and now he tried to kiss my neck.
I screamed and pushed him away with all my might and my last energy. He was falling and crushed in the cupboard really hard. I ran as fast as I could, trying to save myself. I just needed to run… I didn’t know where to, I just headed to where my feet were carrying me. I ran until my lungs hurt but the most painful part in my body was my heart. I wanted to disappear from this world!!
I stopped at a traffic light, some people were looking at me, maybe because I ran barefoot or maybe because of my torn t-shirt, but I didn’t care…
The light changed to red and all people around me moved forward to cross the street. I kept my position on the sidewalk, not moving an inch… It won’t be painful Masaki… You just need to die and your pain will disappear…
When the light changed to green I moved forward slowly…
Death was better… It’ll hurt just a tiny bit and then you`ll leave this cruel world, Masaki… One more second and the pain will disappear…
I closed my eyes… Ready to face the death…
People around me screamed, I could hear a car horn’s sound very closely and loud…
One more step again, Masaki… I stepped again…
Someone roughly jerked me back to the sidewalk and I crushed onto him. We both fell to the ground. He pulled my arm so I would be facing him, I could see his face clearly… Sakurai Sho… With expression full of anger, worry and confusion.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” he shouted at me…
~~~~~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BET POLL
~~~~~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~~~~~
please click "THE BET POLL" i need ur opinion~~
Hey~~ it`s been a long time since i write sumthing,,ahahaha okay it`s not that long~~
gomen ne~~ i was sooo busy and lazy *dun kill me*
today i posted 2 fanfics,ehehe~~
i dunno...maybe i`m too excited or maybe someone success to persuade me to post the bet tonite >.<
I`ll write a lot too...i hope u guys dun mind~~
one of my friend asked me "did u tell ur bf and mom dat u write yaoi fanfic..?" ahahaha,,i was laughing hard at that time~~ "yep,i told them~~ but not all part like i wrote nc17 >.< it`s a secret between u guys and me coz i was lucky enough they dun hav LJ account XD"
and today someone asked me "nee-chan...when will u write NC chap again?" i wont write ur name dear,,hahaha...looked at my pervert little sister "I hav de plot~~ and I`ll definitely write it,but not now >.<"
once again...when i`m not active dis past 10 days,i kept checked my guests stat, and i realized someone visit my LJ almost everyday~~ dats why I write again even the laziness keep shadowing me...arigatou ne~~
I waited for his answer, he looked so shocked. I couldn’t blame him, he saw me giving blow job to a guy, but I personally thought it wasn’t my fault. He was the one who’s sneaking up on people in the bathroom…
He tried to control his emotions, that’s what I thought. He looked like thinking about something and then looked back at me, “What do you want?” he asked me. I felt like he had rejected me, I`d never been rejected by someone…Well… Reiko, maybe. But she had mysteriously disappeared after she left me. I had never seen her face again after that, not that I wanted to, to begin with…
“Nothing…” I answered him. I looked directly at him, trying to catch a hint of his real impression of me. I didn’t know why I care about his impression of me, we didn’t even know each other. He looked deep in thought, then he turned his head and looked at me.
“If you want me to shut my mouth about what happened in the toilet, you have my word,” he said it like he didn’t care at all. Maybe it was just like any other ordinary thing for him that he simply didn’t want to see. Like when you open the bathroom door while someone’s still using it.
“No… I don’t care about that…” I answered, that was true enough. I didn’t care at all, he could spread it if he wanted to.
“You can’t not care about that…” he said it softly and for a second I could’ve sworn I could see his sadness and pain… Even if I didn’t know why he was looking so sad.
“You`re so nice Sakurai-san,” I smiled at him… Maybe my impression of him was right after all, he wasn’t a cold and mean person.
“Don’t get me wrong,” he snapped, looking worried.
“I`m not…” I was sure about that now… This guy was a nice person, he just couldn’t express his feelings well.
“Then what?” he asked me, looking mad.
Honestly, I didn’t know that, I just liked him. I wanted to ask to myself if I could do this. I thought it would be better if I’d be honest in this kind of situation,”I don’t really understand what I feel… I just wanted to talk with you…If you’d ask me why… Maybe I want to apologize…” Apologize for what? I didn’t even understand myself…
“No need to do that…,” he said softly, even if he didn’t know me I felt that he tried to understand my feelings or maybe the position I’m in.
“I know… But I couldn’t stop myself from coming here after I got to know that you’re always here… From Ninomiya-san…” Why was I being honest with a stranger? I couldn’t stop myself though, “I always wondered… Maybe we could’ve been friends if we’d met in different situation…” Ahhh… I said it…
“We couldn’t be friends even if we’d met in different situation…” he answered to that, not arrogantly, but in a soft tone, like he couldn’t be my friend not wouldn’t want to…
“I agree…” I answered. I heard the bell ringing, lunch time was over. He and I would be just strangers from now on. At least he wasn’t angry at me.
“I hope we can talk again sometime… Maybe under better circumstances… I`m sorry for disturbing you, Sakurai-san…” I knew those were just empty words, he wouldn’t be talking to me again…
“No problem…” he answered. I smiled to him, for the last time…
I walked back and closed the door, leaning my trembling body against the it, that was so intense… I didn’t understand why I was so nervous… I just talked with an ordinary human, nothing special…
I walked back to my class, some of my friends wanted to know why I hadn’t came back for lunch, where had I been… But I just smiled, I couldn’t tell them I talked to Sakurai Sho. They would go all “HEHH?? THAT SAKURAI SHO??”, “Prince Sakurai??” or something like that. Our conversation felt so intense for me not because he was The Prince Sakurai Sho, but because I felt guilty… Just a bit…
The bell was ringing again, I gathered my stuff and walked out of the class. I wanted to go home early today… Maybe I could ask my boss to cut my work hours for today, so I could head back home early and finish my book. Then tomorrow I could return it. But someone was already waiting for me in front of my classroom. Matsumoto Jun was standing in front of my class and smiled to me when he saw me. I smiled back at him in confusion. What the hell is going on with Sakurai Sho`s gang? They have gathered around me lately. He waved at me, silently asking me to come closer. I walked toward him and stopped in front of him.
“Aiba Masaki right…?” he asked.
“And you`re Matsumoto Jun,” I added. He laughed at me. “Do you need something Matsumoto-san…?” I asked him.
“Yes… I think so…” he answered and smiled at me.
“From me?” He nodded.
“What can I do for you…?” I asked him clueless. He smiled again and took hold of my hand softly, I felt really shocked but I didn’t pull my hand away. He looked relieved because of that. He glanced at our hands then back at my face and then yanked me to Sakurai Sho`s rest room without saying a word.
He closed the door, keeping a hold on my hand. Then he tilted his head and smiled again. What is going on? I don’t understand…
He came closer cornering me against the wall. His right hand kept holding my hand, his other hand rested on my right side on the wall. He moved in closer… I could see his brown eyes, then his long eyelashes, then a mole on his bottom lip… The next thing I knew, I couldn’t see anything because I had closed my eyes, now feeling his lips on mine…
*****
I felt really terrible and miserable. I didn’t even know why… I wanted to go home, but that would be the same as willingly going straight into the hell. So I forced myself to go to my working place. I worked at a konbini near my school. My thoughts again wandered as I looked at the sky. If I’d have a normal family I wouldn’t need to work at konbini, instead I could play with my friends. If I’d have a normal mom I`d come back home early and eat delicious food everyday. If I’d have a normal dad I`d play baseball and soccer with him…Why me? What did I do wrong? This was really unfair… Me, Aiba Masaki, a poor boy with messed up family, and there was Sakurai Sho - smart and rich guy with perfectly normal family and perfect friends… Totally unfair~~
I changed into a strong Masaki, but it didn’t change anything. My mother was still a whore and my dad was still unemployed. So what do I have to do to change my life? The answer is - nothing… Because I was born in this world for nothing, my life is useless.
I opened the konbini`s door and greeted my boss, acted cheerful. I worked hard like always, my boss always praised me because I could communicate with the customers really well. I finished my job and went home after it was already dark outside. I wanted to sleep now, to clear my mind from my negative thoughts… I walked back home and silently opened the door. There was no need to say “Tadaima~~” even though I wanted to say it so badly. Like I said… I wanted a normal family…
I took off my shoes and walked through the dark to my room on the second floor. I was used to slowly walking through the darkness, I didn’t need wake up anyone at home. I entered my room slowly and turned on the light. I opened my book, trying to do my homework but I couldn’t concentrate, I opened the library book but I couldn’t concentrate on reading either. So I just wandered around my room and decided it`s time to sleep. I turned off my lamp and walked to my bed. I tried to close my eyes, when I heard someone knocking on my door. I walked toward the door, unlocked, and opened it. My dad was standing in front of my room, smelling bad, like alcohol.
“Do you need something?” I asked him. He came closer and staggered into my room.
“What do you want?”
All of sudden he hauled me and threw my body onto my bed. I felt my head hitting the wall, it hurt like hell and I was shocked. What did he want from me?? I felt my vision becoming blurry. I tried to pull myself up and do something to defend myself. When I tried to stand up he restrained me from doing so and started to strip my clothes. I now realized what’s going on, he was trying to rape me!!
“Let me go!! What the hell are you doing??” I shouted at him and struggled to free myself. He laughed like crazy and tried to unzip my pants now. I began to panic, I had to do something!!
“Don’t play hard to get… I know you are giving sex services to ojii-sans… Let me taste you…” he laughed like crazy again. I tried hard to push him away but it wasn’t working.
“NO!!” I screamed, “What are you thinking? You’re my dad!”
“Stop with this parent-son stuff, you’re not my child!! We had never known that for sure!! Your whore of a mother sleeps with a different person every night!” he laughed again and now he tried to kiss my neck.
I screamed and pushed him away with all my might and my last energy. He was falling and crushed in the cupboard really hard. I ran as fast as I could, trying to save myself. I just needed to run… I didn’t know where to, I just headed to where my feet were carrying me. I ran until my lungs hurt but the most painful part in my body was my heart. I wanted to disappear from this world!!
I stopped at a traffic light, some people were looking at me, maybe because I ran barefoot or maybe because of my torn t-shirt, but I didn’t care…
The light changed to red and all people around me moved forward to cross the street. I kept my position on the sidewalk, not moving an inch… It won’t be painful Masaki… You just need to die and your pain will disappear…
When the light changed to green I moved forward slowly…
Death was better… It’ll hurt just a tiny bit and then you`ll leave this cruel world, Masaki… One more second and the pain will disappear…
I closed my eyes… Ready to face the death…
People around me screamed, I could hear a car horn’s sound very closely and loud…
One more step again, Masaki… I stepped again…
Someone roughly jerked me back to the sidewalk and I crushed onto him. We both fell to the ground. He pulled my arm so I would be facing him, I could see his face clearly… Sakurai Sho… With expression full of anger, worry and confusion.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” he shouted at me…
~~~~~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BET POLL
~~~~~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~~~~~
please click "THE BET POLL" i need ur opinion~~
Hey~~ it`s been a long time since i write sumthing,,ahahaha okay it`s not that long~~
gomen ne~~ i was sooo busy and lazy *dun kill me*
today i posted 2 fanfics,ehehe~~
i dunno...maybe i`m too excited or maybe someone success to persuade me to post the bet tonite >.<
I`ll write a lot too...i hope u guys dun mind~~
one of my friend asked me "did u tell ur bf and mom dat u write yaoi fanfic..?" ahahaha,,i was laughing hard at that time~~ "yep,i told them~~ but not all part like i wrote nc17 >.< it`s a secret between u guys and me coz i was lucky enough they dun hav LJ account XD"
and today someone asked me "nee-chan...when will u write NC chap again?" i wont write ur name dear,,hahaha...looked at my pervert little sister "I hav de plot~~ and I`ll definitely write it,but not now >.<"
once again...when i`m not active dis past 10 days,i kept checked my guests stat, and i realized someone visit my LJ almost everyday~~ dats why I write again even the laziness keep shadowing me...arigatou ne~~