Chapter Five: When the world comes crumbling down (I've got you to piece it back together again)

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The white lights of the hospital effectively kept Merlin awake even when he tried to close his eyes for a few minutes of rest, the sleep he’d missed finally weighing down his eyelids. Endless amounts of coffee combined with dozens of sugars meant there was absolutely no hope of him catching any amount shut eye, but it wasn’t just the bright lights or the caffeine because in front of Merlin’s uncomfortable, plastic hospital guest chair, Gawain was lying prone, bruised, and pale underneath those same impossibly bright florescent lights.

"I can't believe that you would be so stupid," Merlin said, stroking Gawain's hair from his face as he lay unmoving and silent. After he’d answered the phone, it had taken him all of five minutes to hail a taxi and rush to the hospital to be with Gawain, where he’d been for three days.

He was still in his pyjamas.

"Gawain, you stupid fuck, wake up. It's not like you to be this quiet. I can't take it! The last time you were like this, Uncle Gaius..." Merlin trailed off, a lump forming in his throat and found he couldn't finish the sentence because it made everything that much more real.

The doctors had told him that Gawain's brain was functioning at a lower level than it should be, even in his condition, and that they wouldn't know if he was going to wake up until he actually did. Merlin had felt they could have been a bit more sensitive to the issue, but at that moment, all he wanted was Gawain to open his eyes and tell him it had all been one of his many terrible pranks.

He closed his eyes and felt his extremities tingle as magic built inside of him. When a tired sob finally forced its way up his throat, the light bulbs in the room shattered across the floor. Moments later, the door burst open and Lance came rushing in, looking around frantically for any sign of a disturbance. When he found no intruder his eyes sought out Merlin’s slumped figure.




"Merlin! What happened?" Lance asked breathlessly, eyes wide when he saw the glass on the floor illuminated by the lights from the hallway behind him.

Merlin looked up, only just noticing Lance for the first time, along with the glass on the floor. He startled up from his chair, forgetting that in his haste to leave the house, he hadn't put on shoes and was wearing only a thin pair of socks. He hardly even registered the crunch as he stood on a small pile of glass. The blood pooled warm at the bottom of his feet, but he found he couldn't move. He stood until the glass cut further into his soles.

Lance crossed the room fluently to carefully deposit Merlin back onto the chair before stabbing at the nurse call button. He held Merlin forcefully in place by his shoulder when he tried to get up.

"I've got to clean it," Merlin said, rubbing at his eyes to rid the fuzzy tint the room had suddenly fallen into from a combination of lack of light and exhaustion.

"No you don't. What you need to do is sit here. Let someone else do that.” Lance gripped Merlin’s shoulder even more firmly to stop him from scraping at the glass. “Here, let me look at your feet. You've cut them pretty badly.” Merlin went to stand up anyway.

“No, Merlin! Just. Sit. I'll get Gwen and she'll clean you up but then you need to go home and get some sleep. You've been here for three days straight. And all that time without a shower or more than a few bites of food. You’re worrying us sick. Gawain would kill you himself if he could. We’ve all enough on our plates fretting over Gawain," Lance said with more harshness than Merlin had ever known he possessed.

"I can't leave him,” Merlin’s eyes involuntarily fell to Gawain’s unmoving body. “What if-?" He couldn't finish the thought out loud. Instead, he settled for, "he's all the family I have left." Lance met his eyes and then pulled him into a tight embrace.

"I know, Merlin, and he's not going anywhere, alright? But if you keep on the way you are, you're going to end up in here too, and then what good are you to him? Go home and shower. Have a nap and I'll be there to pick you up at six," Lance said in a soft voice, his strong arms holding Merlin close.

Just then, Gwen came in the room, arms laden with a tray of coffee and muffins. She paused and looked around slowly, taking in the chaos.

"What happened?" she asked, placing the tray on a cupboard and rushing across the room to Merlin and Lance. Lance steadied her with a soft touch.

"Merlin got a bit upset and couldn’t rein it in. Not a big deal, but he’s trod in a pile of glass. Could you have a look?" Lance asked. Merlin sat in silence, grateful that Lance had taken control.

Normally, Lance was the type to go with the flow and let others make the decisions, but here he was, delegating duties. As hard as he was trying, Merlin just couldn't make himself function. He knew Gawain would hate to see him like this and knew that it was selfish and irresponsible of him to put himself in danger because he couldn't cope with his fears.

He also knew deep down, that somehow, this was his fault.

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"I've got you a coffee," Gwen said as she dressed his feet, hands gentle as ever. "Soy latte with hazelnut. I know you won't drink anything else, you stubborn sod," she added, rubbing her thumb soothingly against his ankle as she wiped his foot with the antiseptic cream. "Lance has gone to get you a new muffin. That's yours on the floor there."

"You're a star," Merlin replied, surprising himself with how hoarse his voice sounded in the quiet of the room. He looked towards Gawain. "Be honest with me, Gwen," he said, reaching down and stilling her movements for a moment. "Is he going to wake up?"

Gwen's breath hitched. Merlin knew that wasn't a good sign, but he stopped himself from jumping in and waited for her to say something.

"He's lucky to have survived, Merlin. He hit that pole going so fast it's a miracle he's even breathing. They've done all the tests they can think of to gauge his brain function and it's just not where they want it to be. His body is healing slowly, but until he wakes up - if he wakes up- we're not going to know. I hate having to tell you that, but I can't lie to you. He might not wake up Merlin." Her eyes went misty, and Merlin couldn't think of anything to say, so he reached down to run his fingers through Gwen's hair. She'd known them both for so long and was like a sister. Merlin knew this had to be affecting her in unspeakable ways.

"Remember," Merlin said, wiping at his eyes, "when he wrote you that stupid poem about frogs and dragonflies?" Gwen nodded through her tears.

"He was trying to get in my pants," she said, laughing softly and reaching for Gawain's hand. Merlin watched her stroke it gently as she eyed him for signs of change, just as Merlin had been doing for days.

"He was twelve, Gwen. I hardly think he was trying to get into your bike knickers," Merlin replied, and pulled Gwen up into his lap.

"I didn't wear bike pants," Gwen mumbled into his shoulder, sniffling slightly. Merlin kissed her hair.

"Yes, you did, but seeing as the three of us are the only ones that know, I won't tell anyone. I won't even tell anyone that they were tie-dyed..." Merlin trailed off, unsure of what to say next. He waited a few beats. "Gwen...I love you, you know that, right? And he does too. He doesn't talk about feelings and all that crap much, but he loves you so much." Gwen let out a painful sob and clung closer to Merlin.

"He's going to wake up, Merlin. I know he will," Gwen said confidently even through the tears. She shifted in his lap, "now, let me finish your feet and get Will or Lance back in here so you can go home to shower and sleep. I can't bear your stench for one more day."

After she'd finished bandaging him, she left the room to find Lance. Merlin felt his eyes drooping heavily. He was unable to fight it anymore and the room around him became a blur as the constant beep of Gawain’s heart monitor lulled him into a deep sleep.

Merlin was awoken by the door of the room snapping closed. Things came into focus slowly in the dull light from the moon through the window and the sound of Gawain's heart was still there, beeping steadily in reassurance. Merlin looked down at his watch to check the time. His hand brushed against a coat placed loosely over his shoulders. He reached a hand up and felt the soft leather wrapped around him and smiled. Lance knew him all too well.

Blinking, he stood up and looked around the room, pulling the jacket tighter around him. Not much had changed from the last time he'd been awake. The glass had been cleared and Gawain had a blanket over him. Across the way on the only cupboard, there was a new vase of bright blue, flaming red, and deep gold flowers.

Merlin couldn't believe he'd slept through all of that, but didn’t have much time to ponder further when Lance came into the room and cleared his throat. “Time to go. You need sleep in your own bed.”

Once Merlin had been dropped home, with Lance and Will's reassurance that Merlin would be the first to know if Gawain's condition changed, he stripped down, tossing Lance’s jacket onto the couch and noticing a whole that he would patch later before returning it, as he walked towards the small bathroom he and Gawain shared and climbed in the shower, letting the hot stream of water soothe him. He scrubbed at his body and hair and wondered what he was supposed to do next. There was no way he'd be able to sleep or concentrate enough to study anything for school. He dried himself and went over to the basin, deciding to take Gwen's advice and have a shave as well.

He looked into the mirror and even though he knew he'd barely slept for three days, he wasn't prepared for the image before him. He'd never seen his eyes so dark and face gaunt. He ran the razor across his chin gently, watching as the dark stubble dropped into the sink below him and followed the running water down the drain. Everything was so quiet with the pub downstairs closed until tomorrow.

He hated it.

Next on Gwen's list of demands had been food, so to appease her, Merlin went into the kitchen and prepared himself a salad from the few items they still had in the fridge. Gawain usually did the shopping on a Tuesday night when the pub was quiet and Freya could hold the fort by herself with Merlin there to help should she desperately need him.

Sitting at the table with his salad, Merlin stabbed at it with a fork and pulled out the accounts books. If he could find where the issues were, maybe he could fix it, or come up with a plan for Gawain when he woke up. Even though he'd told Gawain to sell it, Merlin really didn't want to. It was important to him to be able to practice and learn about his magic and everything he could ever need, Gaius had set up over the course of his lifetime. Merlin would be lost without The King’s Head. He knew that. He couldn't even understand why he'd told Gawain to sell it. He knew Camelot would demolish it and he knew they'd never find another one like it.

Without realising, Merlin had let go of the fork and it was stabbing into the salad of it's own accord, however none of his meal was making it into his mouth. Merlin groaned in frustration and slammed the books closed. How had they gotten to this point? Gawain should have told him they were in trouble so he could help. Merlin loved Gawain, but he couldn't understand Gawain's fierce need to protect him from anything and everything bad.

He felt his magic swell up as he became more and more annoyed and had no one knocked at the door to distract him, he was sure the light bulbs in their flat would have needed replacing, just like those at the hospital. He stood up, scruffed his hair and grabbed the bowl of salad. As he walked to the door he forced a mouthful into his mouth.

"See, Gwen" he said with his mouth full as he opened the door. "You've nothing to worry about, I'm eat-" Merlin cut off abruptly when he realized that it wasn’t Gwen at the door, but Arthur Pendragon with bags under his eyes, looking as though he hadn't slept in days. Merlin stopped mid-chew and stared at the other man for a moment before starting to close the door in his face.

"Merlin," Arthur said, stopping the door with his hand. "You need to hear me out. You need to know the whole story." Merlin snorted.

"I really don't think this is the time for you're lies and false apologies." Arthur shook his head, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I - I did know what was going to happen - what Morgana was going to do," said Arthur and opened his mouth to continue. Merlin cut him off.

"And that is why I have no desire to hear what you have to say," Merlin said abruptly and tried to close the door. Again, Arthur stopped him. "Will you just fuck off?" Merlin shouted, banging his fist on the door and dropping his bowl to the floor. It shattered, sending the contents flying everywhere and out of the corner of his eye, Merlin saw Arthur jump.

"I'm not leaving until you hear me out. I know you have a lot going on, but I need to clear this up. Just give me two minutes and if you don't want to know me after that, I'll leave you alone. For good." Arthur was pleading. His voice was hoarse and something in his tone made Merlin truly believe that maybe he did need to hear it. He held the door open.

"Two minutes."

Merlin was sitting on the kitchen counter and Arthur paced, trying to find the best way to start. He turned to Merlin.

Arthur took a deep breath and, stepping forward said in one go, "five days ago, my father told me about the plans to buy out the pub for a luxury flat development. I didn't actually know it was this one until Monday, and when I found out... Merlin, you don't know my father. I would have had to explain to him how I knew the pub and I wasn't ready to do that. It's cowardly of me, I know, but at the time, all I was thinking about was how to get out of it - how to get you out of it."

"Keep going," Merlin said, rubbing his eyes. "You've got another ninety seconds."

"Then Morgana was brought into it and you met her the other day. She's like a dog with a bone. She's determined to get this place for her client and she won't stop until she gets it. I don't know how I can help you if you won't let me give you the money. If you don't pay, you get sixty days to shut down business and vacate. It's the law. If you give her the reason, she'll evict you, and the way she is being about this particular development, I'm not sure paying everything back is even going to make a difference. I've never seen her so... driven."

"You're saying that we're going to lose it?"

"No, I'm saying if you don't do something you're going to lose it."

"Why this place though? It's hardly the idea location for luxury flats. This isn't the most happening place in the area. It doesn't make sense when you think about it."

"I know, Merlin. That’s what I thought too. I'll be looking into it, but for now I need to know you believe me. I'm going to do everything I can to help you and Gawain fight Morgana and my father off. I love them, they're my family, but I love this place too and I know you two do. We've got to do something."

"I believe you, but I don't know what other option I have. I won't take your money, and neither will Gawain. That's non-negotiable. There will have to be another way." Merlin yawned loudly. Arthur stopped pacing and turned to look at him.

"You should get some sleep. I assume that's what you came home for?" Arthur asked. Merlin nodded. "Then I'll go.” Arthur pulled out his wallet and dug out a business card. “I’ll give you my number. Let me know if you need anything." Merlin nodded again through a yawn. Arthur found a pen in his pocket flipped the business card over and wrote on the back.

"That's my personal mobile. Ring it anytime, alright?"

"I'll be fine," Merlin said, and gestured towards the door.

"Thanks for listening," Arthur said, opening the door.

"You were incredibly annoying. I thought I'd last the two minutes then tell you to piss off," Merlin replied. Arthur opened his mouth to retort, but was drowned out by shouts from the other side of the flat door.

"Merlin! Fucking hell. Unlock the fucking door!" a voice shouted from behind the door. Merlin's eyes widened. He looked at Arthur in horror.

"That's Will. He's early by hours," Merlin said quietly, his voice and hand shaking.

"I'm sure he's just come to check on you," Arthur replied as he bounded to the entrance to let Will in. He opened the door to Will, who was flustered and breathing heavily.

"What are you doing here, you prick?" Will said, looking between Arthur and Merlin.

"What's happening, Will?" Merlin asked, joining them. Will swallowed and took a deep breath.

"Merlin, I'm so - I don't know how to - we've got to go. Gwen says that he hasn't got long.”