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Phil's not gay?
So wed night I was at skybar and was talking to this chic for a while. Eventually we split and I was hanging out with one of our mutual friends when I asked, "So what'd your friend think of me?"
"Well, she said you were pretty much the coolest gay guy she'd ever met...."
Fuck... Apparently I give everyone the 1st impression that I'm gay, and that's ( Read more... ) -
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Dear Citizens of America ( Read more... ) -
Only in Alabama!
Friday: rainy and warm.
Saturday morning: tornados and the end of the world.
Saturday afternoon: mostly cloudy but warm enough that there were a few people tanning.
Sunday: blizzard.
I love Alabama weather...
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FUCK MY LIFE
So I'm out delivering pizzas on campus when a concrete post decides to hide in my blind spot as I'm backing out of the extension. It pretty much rips my bumper in half (which has only been on my car for 2 months) and destroys my tailgate, tire cover and my spare tire. Fuck my life.
Then I come from from a not so stellar day at work to find that ( Read more... ) -
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i had a dream today that i got my jeep stuck in a 10 foot deep mud pit. my intake sucked in about 10 gallons of mud into my engine.
i woke up practically in tears. -
Dear liver...
Dear liver,
A few hours ago, I absolutely demolished you. You will probably never be the same. I would love to tell you that I'm never gonna do it again, but we both know that's a lie.
Regardless of what happens, I love you. Always have. Always will.
Thanks for listening.
Sincerely,
Phil
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(Untitled)
What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her ( Read more... ) -
Carpe Diem Quam Minimum Credula Postero
Tu ne quaesieris, scire nefas, quem mihi, quem tibi finem di dederint, Leuconoe, nec Babylonios tempatris numeros. ut melius, quidquid erit, pati. seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit luppiter ultimam, quae nunc oppositis debilitat pumicibus mare Tyrrhenum: sapias vina liques et saptio brevi spem longam reseces. dum loquimur, fugerit invida aetas: CARPE ( Read more... ) -
Random...
I was walking out of the library when thumb cheer/war eagle came on the randomizer on my iPod the second I touched the door handle. It was like my iPod was congradulating me for some how managing to spend 4 hours in the library and accomplish absolutely nothing.
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