Oneshot - Just a Game
I was reading an Ohmiya fanfic sometime ago, and I wrote this after I read that.
I had no idea it became like this. O .o
Please enjoy. :D
“Oh-chan, I love you.” He turned to me after I said those words, not a trace of shock or whatever from his technically unseeing brown eyes. He was staring at me as if I was a glass figurine, seeing but not really.
“I love you too, Nino.” His smile was bright as he said this and he even tilted his head at me in the adorable way that he knew I loved. My lips curved upwards on their own put of habit but my heart was feeling heavy again.
I returned his smile in such a way that my eyes didn't have to meet his for very long. I attended back to my cards, my hands shaking a little bit more than usual.
I got the answer that I wanted to hear, but my heart wasn't satisfied. It was never satisfied anymore.
When I was younger, I used to get bored easily and would have to find ways to keep myself entertained to prevent a bad mood. When I saw him and he saw him, he intrigued me. He'd always been quiet and reserved, but when I try to talk to him casually, he says something completely unexpected. He is something that I can never get tired of and I would always try to sit close to him.
Years and years of being together gave me the permission to act this way towards him and he never once rejected me. I tried to hug him as close as I could once, just to see how he would react. He didn't push me away like most guys would, but he stayed there in my arms, cheeks and ears as red. I was quite surprised that he would act that way. Next I told him that I loved him, and he just blushed at me but nodded anyway. He smiled a lot more after I played with him and I felt very accomplished knowing that I've come a little bit closer to him.
It was like a game, really. Bit by bit, I would build my relationship with him, just because I can.
I was really happy when he started answering my confessions. Although casually, he would reply to my words as quickly as I would say them. It became very routine and I really liked it. Paired with that openness to my touches, I was very happy to have a friend that would be so much fun to play with. For years I did that and he accepted my attitude like he would a bowl of ramen-very eagerly. I had fun playing along with this game. The people around us would always stare at us and it somehow felt good to be fooling around with the people watching.
A few more years passed and I noticed that my body would heat up whenever I was close to him and my breath would grow shallower whenever he would gaze at me. I always thought that it was just something that would pass, like the cool sensation one gets after a shower or something a little more gradual, but it wasn't anything like that. The feeling stayed, if not grew more and more each time we would be together.
I didn't realize it then. But one day, he came up to me and looked into my eyes. We were the same height so it shouldn't have been that difficult to look back, but for some reason I had to shift my gaze every now and then. His hand held me by my waist like always and told me the three words that I was already too used to hearing.
I was supposed to be used to it.
My mouth moved on its own as I returned the words, unusually sweet on my tongue. I decided to place a chaste kiss on his lips, hoping for an honest reaction. Shocked eyes stared at me before the owner dropped his head, reddening for the first time in a while. My hand moved up to caress his cheek.
His face was hot. I lifted it to face mine.
He quickly leaned in and kissed me too, this one just as chaste as mine. I smiled at him, feeling renewed.
I was wrong about that. That feeling lasted only a few months.
After that, kissing became routine too. Whenever I would pass him in the hallway, my hands would reach out to him and pull him to me, kissing him deeply. Of course, those kinds of kisses were reserved for empty places where judging eyes wouldn't be present, but he still didn't get it.
When he would tell me that this game was fun every time I kissed him with all my heart, I just agreed, shutting him up with a deeper, rougher kiss to hide my tearing eyes.
I told myself that it was alright, since I'm the only one who was allowed to do that.
Ah. Wrong again.
After I saw Jun kissing him, I realized that I am not seen as anything special, nothing more than another band mate. He would let anyone into his personal space because that's just the way he is. I was just the first, and that was all. I felt sad for a while, the jealous person that I am, but I always made sure that I had a smile whenever I was with him. It was troublesome to be worried about.
I was already used to feeling that anyway.
I was glad when I figured out one of his habits of frequently looking at me while speaking or eating. I was really happy to know that I was the first one he looked at when he needed help and the first one his eyes would rest on when he would react to the food. I don't remember when I noticed that, but I would smile the slightest bit when he would look my way. It was a momentary connection between us and us only.
I was the only one who saw it that way, though.
I've grown to accept that I can't completely own him because it's in his nature to be someone who has a magnetic pull for people, although he prefers to be with himself.
Lazily sitting together on his couch, his hands occupied with a figurine of a fish and mine with my cards, I finally looked back on it all.
I stared at him silently, his eyes completely focused on what he was holding. He's so cute like that. I could tell him that, but he would just give me one of those amazing smiles and I would be even more down.
As I said, I have long accepted that fact already.
I know that he sees this as just a game, but I'm content with him being with me.
“Oh-chan...” My voice was softer than usual. I didn't know the reason. “I love you.”
He looked my way and smiled brighly, just for me. I felt the sting of tears at the back of my eyes.
“I love you too, Nino.” His eyes were almost hidden by his chubby cheeks as he smiled. It was endearing, the look on his face. I smiled back as cheerfully as I could.
“I know.”
I know that he doesn't really, but I'm glad that he tells me he loves me anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~
… I... I don't know what to say. D: Thank you for reading! ,:D
Uh....comment!? ,:c
I fell asleep writing this, and when I woke up, the feeling was gone and I didn't know how to finish it! So I had to read the Ohmiya fic again. *dies*