Two favourites from L Sprague de Camp for #WorldPoetryDay
The wonderful L Sprague de Camp was a great early figure not only of SF itself but also of its history and criticism. His 1978 collection The Best of L. Sprague de Camp contained two poems that I loved so much that I committed them to memory.
The Amœba (1973)
An amœba, grown too portly,
Elongates itself and shortly
Parts itself into amœbae twain.
Now, this form of reproduction
Has its points, if your construction
Lets you split yourself without a pain.
It avoids the complications
That beset our copulations,
Which we try to regulate in vain.
Thus a piece of protoplasm
Undergoes bipartite spasm,
As it did in Eozoic clime;
Each amœba, now existing,
Is a unit, yet persisting,
Which has flourished since the dawn of time.
In this neat and sober fashion,
Unbetrayed by human passion,
Multiplies this deathless bit of slime.
Still, there must be something missing
To a life that knows no kissing,
Nor the other games the sexes play.
Surely, Solomon and Sheba
Had more fun than that amœba
E'er will know forever and a day.
So I'd rather love my lassie
Than to be a little, glassy,
Protoplasmic speck and live for ay.
Reward of Virtue (1970)
Sir Gilbert de Vere was a virtuous knight;
He succoured the weak and he fought for the right
But he cherished a goal that he never could sight:
He wanted a dragon to fight.
He prayed all the night and he prayed all the day
That God would provide him a dragon to slay
And God heard his prayer and considered a way
To furnish Sir Gilbert his prey.
And so, to comply with Sir Gilbert's demand,
But having no genuine dragons to hand,
God whisked him away to an earlier land,
With destrier, armour, and brand.
And in the Cretaceous, Sir Gilbert de Vere
Discovered a fifty-foot carnosaur near.
He dug in his spurs and he leveled his spear,
And charged without flicker of fear.
The point struck a rib, and the lance broke in twain;
Sir Gilbert clasped a hand to his hilt, but in vain.
The dinosaur swallowed that valorous thane,
And gallant Sir Gilbert was slain.
The iron apparel he wore for his ride,
however, was rough on the reptile's inside.
That dinosaur presently lay down and died,
And honour was thus satisfied.
But Gilbert no longer was present to care;
So pester not God with your wishes. Beware!
What happens when Heaven has answered your prayer,
Is your, and no other's, affair!
The Amœba (1973)
An amœba, grown too portly,
Elongates itself and shortly
Parts itself into amœbae twain.
Now, this form of reproduction
Has its points, if your construction
Lets you split yourself without a pain.
It avoids the complications
That beset our copulations,
Which we try to regulate in vain.
Thus a piece of protoplasm
Undergoes bipartite spasm,
As it did in Eozoic clime;
Each amœba, now existing,
Is a unit, yet persisting,
Which has flourished since the dawn of time.
In this neat and sober fashion,
Unbetrayed by human passion,
Multiplies this deathless bit of slime.
Still, there must be something missing
To a life that knows no kissing,
Nor the other games the sexes play.
Surely, Solomon and Sheba
Had more fun than that amœba
E'er will know forever and a day.
So I'd rather love my lassie
Than to be a little, glassy,
Protoplasmic speck and live for ay.
Reward of Virtue (1970)
Sir Gilbert de Vere was a virtuous knight;
He succoured the weak and he fought for the right
But he cherished a goal that he never could sight:
He wanted a dragon to fight.
He prayed all the night and he prayed all the day
That God would provide him a dragon to slay
And God heard his prayer and considered a way
To furnish Sir Gilbert his prey.
And so, to comply with Sir Gilbert's demand,
But having no genuine dragons to hand,
God whisked him away to an earlier land,
With destrier, armour, and brand.
And in the Cretaceous, Sir Gilbert de Vere
Discovered a fifty-foot carnosaur near.
He dug in his spurs and he leveled his spear,
And charged without flicker of fear.
The point struck a rib, and the lance broke in twain;
Sir Gilbert clasped a hand to his hilt, but in vain.
The dinosaur swallowed that valorous thane,
And gallant Sir Gilbert was slain.
The iron apparel he wore for his ride,
however, was rough on the reptile's inside.
That dinosaur presently lay down and died,
And honour was thus satisfied.
But Gilbert no longer was present to care;
So pester not God with your wishes. Beware!
What happens when Heaven has answered your prayer,
Is your, and no other's, affair!