Don't Stop Believing (In Our Love) - Part 2

[lquill]

Suho’s legs seemed to lose all the energies that he would’ve fallen to the floor if he wasn’t sitting. Once again that itchy feeling came to his stomach and this time it was boiling inside with anger. He took a deep breath and told himself that this was only a really horrible nightmare. Kris his boyfriend, was singing the exact song Suho had been preparing ever since the former sang it to him as confession. The other Warblers clapped when Kris gave a bow at the end of his performance.

“Bravo!” Mr. Adolfo, their Italian native teacher who offered to judge spoke with his heavy accent. “Who’s next?”

Suho rose up from his chair and took the widest steps he could to Kris. “Would you excuse us for a second?”

The shorter boy dragged his boyfriend out of the Warblers’ chamber and he cornered Kris in the wall.

“How could you sing that song??!” Suho shook Kris’ body with all his might. “Please, please tell me that it’s just a horrible joke!”

“Baby, what’s wrong with you??! Didn’t I tell you I will sing the song??”

“No.. You told me that you prepared the song for the showdown and it’s our song! I thought you gave the song for me to sing!”

Kris’ eyes widened in realization and then it was his turn to shake Suho’s body. “What are you talking about? Don’t tell me after all we’ve been through.. You still have that idea to cheat by using me?!”

“Kris! You know how important this is to me!!” Suho cried in frustration. “I need to do this! I need to make sure that we win!!”

The taller man showed a sad, calm smile. “We are going to win, Suho. We’re going to do this together, and The Warblers is going to win!”

Suho’s eyes gave away his whole feeling of betrayal. “You don’t understand! My dads are going to come and I need- to let them see- how Ibring- this glee club to nationals!!”

Kris frowned at the statement. “That sounds too selfish, baby. It’s not always about you…”

“Selfish.. So that’s what you’ve been thinking of me all along..”

“Baby, I… Look, I love you very much but if you want to win this, you have to win it fair and square. If you don’t have the talent for-”

Suho couldn’t believe what he just heard. He felt like his heart was stabbed from the back and front by a very sharp knife. Selfish and talentless. Those words just hurt too much coming from someone who had been his source of happiness these past months. The next second, the young man went from being truly devastated to be burning in anger. He wasn’t going to let Kris, yes not even Kris, bring him down in shame.

“Let me show you what talent is Kevin Wu!”

Suho turned his back on Kris and dramatically open the chamber’s door. He saw his friends and teacher’s confused look.

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” Suho smiled coldly and bowed to the audience. “Next is my turn.”

“What are you waiting for? Show us what you’ve got!” said Mr. Adolfo cheerfully.

Suho cleared his throat.

Oh, how about a round of applause?
Yeah, standing ovation? Ooh, oh yeah
Yeah y-yeah yeah

Kris entered the scene and grabbed Suho’s shoulder. “Babe, we don’t need to do this…”

Lay who had secretly liked soap dramas decided to play along. He started playing his piano and Kris rolled his eyes hard after throwing Lay a ‘not you too’ look. Suho shoved Kris off and took few steps back.

You look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
Please! Just cut it out

“Suho, listen to me, okay?”

And don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
And baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show, really had me going
But now it’s time to go, curtains finally closing
That was quite a show! Very entertaining
But it’s over now..
Go on and take a bow…

“Well.. That was touching! But as much as I adore Rihanna, isn’t this an original song competition?”

Suho ignored poor Mr. Adolfo’s question and pointed on Kris’ chest. “You and me are having vocal battle, Mister. We’re sooo going down together!”

And with that Suho Hummel Anderson left his friends and short-lived love story behind as he tried to hold back his tears. That night Kris-Kevin Wu had to crash over Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s room because his luggage had been put outside the 100 room and he couldn’t get in as apparently, Suho had stuck his keys on the key hole and no matter how many times Kris tried calling him from outside the tiny man wouldn’t come out. Suho was wailing inside the room and not even Bun-bun’s warmth could console his broken heart. He swore that he was going to have his revenge, and he owed Kris to do it in the most painful way.

The next day was Saturday and Suho called Angels, telling that he was sorry he couldn’t come this weekend because he had a war to fight. Suho had thought of everything. Kris was pretty good at ballads so Suho would challenge him with an upbeat song, preferably a song which could convey his ‘burning’ feelings toward the other male. He came with the preparation of singing Maroon5’s “Maps” or Chicago’s “Cell-block Tango”.

“I’m going first.”

“No problem,” replied Suho with hidden anger in his voice. “I’ll take whatever you throw at me.”

“So Kris will go first,” announced Luhan. “Ready, Kris?”

Suho and the others sat down on the sofas as Kris stood in front of them. Anyone could tell that the blonde didn’t plan to avert his harsh gaze from Suho anytime, or at least until he finished singing. Lay started to play when Suho’s ears recognized a familiar song. Not an original like he had actually feared.

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Ouch. Suho understood where this was going. He jutted his lips in a pout knowing that his so called friends and boyfriend were there to judge him.

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, Yeah

Suho was even more offended by the thought that Kris was trying to teach him the lesson of humility and gratefulness. What’s wrong with him wanting it all if he worked hard to get it? The thought of his boyfriend actually had never understood anything about him sadden Suho.

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share
With no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you

Suho sighed deeply and shook his head. He felt so empty out of nowhere, and his anger was soon replaced by tiredness. Maybe unlike his dads, he didn’t belong to The Warblers. They all hated him. Kris hated him. As much as he wanted to be the real time diva, he didn’t want to be at a place where nobody wanted him anymore. Suho’s tears started brimming at the thought.

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah

If I ain't got you with me baby
So nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

The other members clapped their hands slowly as Kris finished performing. Suho didn’t plan to be humiliated any longer. He stood up from his chair and said, “Everyone, I’m quitting The Warblers. I’m sending you my resignation letter soon. Thank you for the kindness you’ve been showing me.”

He bowed at the shocked boys and went out from the room. Suho could hear the light fast steps trailing behind him yet he didn’t have any intention to stop, until a long arm reached to grab his hand forcefully.

“Why did you do that?!” asked Kris. Suho could feel the other’s frustration. “Didn’t you get any of my messages from the song??”

Suho turned his face facing Kris. “Yes, I did. As matter of fact, I heard it as clear as the school bell. I failed you for being selfish and do not feel enough just being by your side!”

“I wish you would understand…” muttered Kris sadly. “I didn’t mean to condemn you. I just wish that ‘us’ means more than any privileges and pride to you… because that’s what this relationship means to me.”

Suho cried meekly, “You don’t understand. Do you know why my dads chose to adopt me instead of other kids? It’s because they found me singing Annie’s ‘Tomorrow’ with perfect pitch the day they visited Angels!”

“Suho…”

“They adopted me because if they could have a real son, he would be as talented as me!! I don’t want them to regret!!”

“Suho…” said Kris affectionately. “Have you ever asked them about this? Have you ever confirmed these assumptions?”

“Let me go, Kris.. We’re done…”

∞∞∞

Suho ended up mostly in his room after school, listening to his ipod and snacking on greasy unhealthy snacks he had stayed away from. Sometimes he got this longing feeling that he felt like checking on how The Warblers doing without him. Last time he’d been there to submit his withdrawals, Suho saw a freshmen called Taeyong joining the practice.

They would be just fine without me. The real problem is how am I going to explain this situation to dads?

He had thought of several lies like he had a serious problem with his voice cord, but that would only freak them out and they would insist Suho to go to hospital and stuffs. He just hoped that this time his dads were not going to come. They never came anyway. Suho muttered to himself that he probably should try moving to New York like his Auntie Rachel once recommended. That way, he could spend all his money and time on high quality musicals and don’t have to think of how stupid love was. Who need a boyfriend anyway? He had lived well for seventeen years without one and he would be just fine without it. Forever.. alone.. maybe… Suho was totally drowned in his dark imaginations, he didn’t hear someone frantically calling for him from outside his room. Suho opened the door to find Baekhyun carrying Kyungsoo who scrunched his face like he was in terrible pain.

“He fell and broke his leg, I think,” explained Baekhyun sadly after they laid Kyungsoo down on Kris’ empty bed. “Hey! That could actually be a funny joke! You know break a le-”

Kyungsoo groaned like an angry baby polar bear, but maybe that was because Suho started to wrap his leg with bandage. Suho had no idea why they went to his room instead of going to hospital or at least school infirmary. He did have a complete set of first kid aid but he wasn’t exactly a doctor.

“I can’t dance like this,”Kyungsoo grumbled. “Someone have to take my place in sectionals.”

“You’ll be fine,” said Suho ignorantly. “Just sing in a wheelchair. You won’t be the first person to do it and you might even come with some cool choreography.”

“Nope, he can’t!” protested Baekhyun. “We don’t have enough budget to buy him a wheelchair! It has to be you!

“Baekkie, I…”

“Kris became a good enough zombie to be casted in The Walking Dead after you dumped him!” cut the puppy looking boy. “Just go back, will you? It’s not the same..”

Suho frowned and turned to look at Kyungsoo who suddenly found that the view outside the window very interesting. The room owner gave Kyungsoo’s leg a pinch without warning and shook his head when the latter’s screamed fifteen seconds too late.
Baekhyun and Kyungsoo got kicked out before they could explain their ‘gig’. Suho showed his infamous pout before shut the door harshly with a loud thud.

∞∞∞

The sectionals day finally arrived. Suho decided to wake up really late, being clingy to Bun-bun even more than usual and just stayed on bed until he got really bored and decided to make breakfast while still wearing his pajamas. He opened his windows to throw the bread crumbs outside (in case birds wanted to eat it) and he saw the boys were getting on the bus, ready to leave without him. Suho closed the door and started to play his phone to get out from his depressive state. He realized that there were lots of texts and missed calls from Kris, seven video messages from his dads, and one text from Miss Angel ‘Clavel’. Suho quickly got up as the old lady asked him help to find a child who went missing when they went to town to do some shopping. He grabbed a black t-shirt and jeans which was hanged on the bathroom door, completely ignoring that the clothing were too big on him. Suho borrowed Mr Lee’s bicycle and paddled as quickly as he could to the biggest Walmart they have in town. He arrived there safely after almost running into a stray cat and two homeless. Suho still tried to manage his breath as the two ladies and children welcoming him with too happy expressions for an emergency situation.

“Who is missing?? Have you found the kid yet??”

“The one who’s missing is you, young man,” answered Miss Angel calmly. “You need to go ‘home’ right now.”

The lady pointed out to a building next to Walmart. There were eye-catching decoration and big golden banner of “Glee Club Annual Sectionals Competition”. Suho pouted in protest to the Angels crew as the children pushing him to enter the building. Suho walked in and hesitated to get into the big auditorium. He could hear Ryeowook from New Direction’s singing from outside and when Suho just turned his body around to run away, he saw an unpleasantly familiar face.

“What’s The Warblers’ diva doing here with shabby get ups?” teased Jonghyun with evil smirk on his face. “Not gonna stand on stage today? You should’ve backed out sooner so I didn’t have to move all the way to Vocal Adrenaline.”

Suho decided that this betrayer didn’t deserve his precious time. “Get away, Jong-jong. You’re blocking my way with your dinosaur’s jaw.”

“You should really get in and watch how we’re going to kick your crew’s ass,” replied the other boy as he walked out from the scene. “But they ain’t your crew anymore, eh?”

Suho felt crazily mad at the fact the he got ditched by Jonghyun, twice! However, he wasn’t going to let the dinosaur boy’s lame tease get the best of him. Suho took a deep breath, braced himself like a real man and went into the auditorium. He needed to be there to laugh Jonghyun’s face off when The Warblers, his crew or not, mash Vocal Adrenaline’s pride into porridge. Suho found an empty seat, three rows from the main stage. There he saw Kris, even though his face looked calm and cool, but Suho could always tell by the way the boy wiped his sweaty hands on his uniform again and again he was nervous as hell. He closed his eyes as he tried catching the feeling in Kris’ singing. Suho had to admit that the tall man sounded really good in solo. Even as the other boys started to sing the chorus, his deep voice didn’t drown. Instead, it was only getting stronger but in a nice, comforting way. It was just like other Warblers’ voices were there to support him. Suho sighed as he realized he never felt like that when he was performing as center, not even when they were rehearsing. Maybe that was the reason why he didn’t get chosen by the love of his life. Because he was not good enough. Because Kris thought of him as incapable of being the ‘real’ center.

Suho puffed his cheeks to hold his tears and gloomy feelings inside. He clapped slowly with the other audiences as The Warblers singing and dancing to Chanyeol’s song “Thunder”. The upbeat nature of the song made him move his feet and somehow consoled him a little. Suho looked around and found the other audiences showing good responds to the performances. He let little proud smile escaped him as The Warblers finished singing the last song, “Moonlight” which was composed by Lay. As he stood to give standing ovation, Suho noticed that a certain blonde was still standing there, not leaving the stage just like the others did. A really cute and hot blonde who caught his heart once just to throw it again. Wave of whispers started between the curious and confused audiences. Then, there was music. There was always music. Yifan’s eyes met him even without searching. Like the taller already knew Suho was there.

The day I first met you
You told me you'd never fall in love
But now that I get you
I know fear is what it really was
Now here we are,
So close yet so far.
Haven't I passed the test?
When will you realize,
Baby, I'm not like the rest
Suho squealed but he quickly covered his mouth in panic, not knowing what to do when Chanyeol and Chen showed up besides his seat suddenly. They escorted Suho to the stage and the boy ended up standing there like a statue before Kris took both his hands to put them around his neck.

Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared it's wrong
Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait, to waste
So let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

Suho didn’t know which was more romantic. The fact that Kris was willing to do this in front of thousand audience (not to mention the risk of the trophy), or his ex-boyfriend sang him a ballad version of a hit song by Suho’s favorite Camp Rock protagonist.

On Sunday you went home alone
There were tears in your eyes
I called your cell phone, my love
But you did not reply
The world is ours. If we want it,
We can take it if you just take my hand.
There's no turning back now.
Baby, try to understand

This time, Suho really tried to understand. So he opened his dry mouth and singing along with the brightest smile he could give.

Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared it's wrong
Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait, to waste
So let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
There's just so much you can take
Give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
Oh yeah, yeah…

Suho giggled as he let Kris finished the song.

The day I first met you
You told me you'd never fall in love..

∞∞∞

“I never told you that!” teased Suho that night as they cuddled under warm blanket on Kris’ bed. “I fell in love with the boy who played Simba in Lion King Musical my elementary school had.”

Kris pinched Suho’s cheeks in displease as he replied, “But I’m your first boyfriend ever.. Wait, don’t tell me you played as Nala.”

“Naah, I played as giraffe number five,” answered Suho shyly. “I could’ve combusted on stage if I had played Nala, so I didn’t do the audition. Not that I couldn’t get the role.”

Kris frowned and gave him a quick peck. Suho thought his boyfriend was really cute when he got jealous. Suho felt a thud in his heart as he recalled how easily he dumped Kris. He realized now that there was no other boy for him out there. No one as talented, as handsome, and most importantly no one as kind and caring to Suho as Kris was.

“I’m really sorry for being selfish,” said Suho with his lowest voice. “I’m going to try to become less about ‘me’ and be more about ‘others’ too.”

To be honest, Kris had never thought that Suho was a selfish person. Maybe his tiny boyfriend was blinded by his ambitions most of the time that Suho forgot to think about others too. Nevertheless, Kris couldn’t have the heart to call someone who responded to a fake call of missing child, and took time every weekend to accompany orphans as ‘selfish’. To Kris, Suho was just an insecure of his daddies’ love and therefore lost his good sides trying to fulfill their expectations. Kris made a mental note to encourage Suho later so his small lover could have a deep heart-to-heart talk with his parents someday. But as for now, he just wanted them to enjoy their intimate time without interruption even from Bun-bun, who had the privilege that night to occupy Suho’s bed alone. Well, actually not alone since the sectionals first trophy was also there, standing proud and shiny.

“But, why didn’t you write me a song like you did when you confessed to me?” asked Suho with curiosity as he cuddled even closer to Kris.

“I couldn’t write any song after our fight,” chuckled Kris. “Suho, you are my muse..”

Suho couldn’t believe his ears. “I am?”

It was a perfectly normal Monday night at the Dalton Academy’s dormitory, Westerville, Ohio. The moon was gleaming, the owls were coo-cooing, the two lovebirds were kissing passionately… Well, only in room 100 though.