"Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?"
*"Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too."
*"A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot.
I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
........................................................................................................................................
Different Views
"Because woman's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repititious and we're the first to get the sack and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get bashed we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women it's because we can't get a "real" man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect community care for children we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and "unfeminine" and if we don't we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural and because we still can't get adequate safe contraception but men can walk on the moon...for lots and lots of other reasons we are a part of the woman's liberation movement.
If I chase girls I'm a dog and a pig and if I don't I'm a "faggot" and if I have a decent job it must be because I stole it from a female and not have earned it on my own merit and if I cry I'm a pussy and if I don't I'm callous and insensitive and if I don't play sports I'm a wimp and if I do I'm a fuck-hungry jock and if I like romance it must be that I just want her in bed and if I like to talk to her it can't be because I just like to and there has to be something wrong with me if I just want to be close with her instead of having sex and if I have too many female friends or too friendly I'm a womanizer and if I don't I'm not in touch with my "feminine side" and if I take a woman's studies class it can only mean I want to meet girls and God forbid I should actually be in love with someone, because if I am I surely must be whipped. "
*"A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot.
I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
........................................................................................................................................
Different Views
"Because woman's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repititious and we're the first to get the sack and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get bashed we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women it's because we can't get a "real" man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect community care for children we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and "unfeminine" and if we don't we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural and because we still can't get adequate safe contraception but men can walk on the moon...for lots and lots of other reasons we are a part of the woman's liberation movement.
If I chase girls I'm a dog and a pig and if I don't I'm a "faggot" and if I have a decent job it must be because I stole it from a female and not have earned it on my own merit and if I cry I'm a pussy and if I don't I'm callous and insensitive and if I don't play sports I'm a wimp and if I do I'm a fuck-hungry jock and if I like romance it must be that I just want her in bed and if I like to talk to her it can't be because I just like to and there has to be something wrong with me if I just want to be close with her instead of having sex and if I have too many female friends or too friendly I'm a womanizer and if I don't I'm not in touch with my "feminine side" and if I take a woman's studies class it can only mean I want to meet girls and God forbid I should actually be in love with someone, because if I am I surely must be whipped. "