[fic] Morimoto x Chinen - Adsum - [1/1]
Title: Adsum
Author: BG
Pairing: Morimoto Ryutaro x Chinen Yuri
Ratings: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own them.
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I think everyone has noticed bar him. He’s so busy, flirting with Yamada, duping Takaki into buying him lunch, charming the staff-san with his smile, that he hasn’t even noticed. It’s off-putting and frustrating and it makes me want to grab at his shoulders and scream.
Look at me. Look only at me. Notice me.
I catch Yabu’s eye across the table and he gives me a soft smile. Yabu always looks out for me. He sees things no one else does. He sees everything. He is clearly exhausted but he raises his arm, motions to me to come to him. Walking around to his side, I slide into the plastic seat to his right. His hand is heavy against my shoulder but I feel, almost at once, as though my worries have disappeared.
“You should tell him.”
His tone is light and his voice is barely a whisper but the words pierce at me. I look up at him and he lifts his hand from my shoulder and smoothes the frown from my brows.
“You’ll get wrinkles if you frown so fiercely.”
I drop my gaze from his gentle brown eyes. I don’t like looking up into those eyes, not when they so easily see everything I’ve been trying so hard to keep hidden. I know it’s a contradiction. I want him to notice but I don’t want to tell him and I don’t want the whole world knowing my business at the same time.
Yabu isn’t really the whole world and I know he would never tell any of the others or even confirm it if perchance they figured it all out on their own. I know they have an inkling though. I’ve heard enough hushed and hurried words whispered behind cupped hands to be fairly certain that they know that I like him. I guess it makes me feel uncomfortable that they know when the one person I so desperately want to notice hasn’t got a clue.
“I can’t tell him.”
The hand is now resting against the nape of my neck, those long fingers threaded through my hair. The weight is comforting and Yabu always make me want to spill all my secrets to him.
“And why can’t you.”
I frown and he tsks at me. A burst of laughter echoes through the room and I look up to see Chinen wrapped in Arioka’s arms struggling valiantly to free himself from the fingers that grasped at his sides.
“I just can’t.”
Suddenly irritated I shrug off Yabu’s touch; standing up so abruptly that my chair tips over; I spare it a glance before all but storming from the suddenly stifling dressing room.
I felt awkward for weeks. My skin felt as though it was stretched to tight and my stomach clenched with butterflies every time I saw Chinen or anytime I met Yabu’s eyes. I felt tongue tied, I couldn’t concentrate. The choreographer was not impressed; I don’t think I have ever been shouted at as often as I was those few weeks.
Yabu left me alone for a day or two. I so wanted to apologise for losing my temper but I just couldn’t say the words. He hand found my shoulder after a long dance practice in which had been particularly brutal for me as I couldn’t remember the steps at all. I knew he had forgiven me for my rudeness and he didn’t bring up Chinen but I could feel the questions hanging in the air between us.
I am a coward so I ignored his questioning eyes and encouraging silences.
“Ryutaro gets angry often?”
I jumped in surprise, dropping my water bottle. I heard the thunk of it as it landed heavy against he dance studio floor but I didn’t bother to stoop to pick it up again. I was watching Chinen carefully. His expression was perfectly innocent but it was Chinen so that didn’t necessarily mean anything. To ask such a loaded question, what could he be thinking?
“Only when things annoy me.”
He looked poised to ask another question but I walked away before he could voice the words. I wasn’t ready. I was hopeless.
A hand grabs my wrist as I pass an open doorway. A squeak escapes me and I fall over my feet as I’m dragged into the room. Yabu has a stern look in his eyes and I swallow hard. I’m not sure I want to hear what I know he is going to say.
“Ryutaro, you have to do something.”
I open my mouth to refute this but he presses his fingertips to my lips to silence me.
“You’re falling behind at practice. I don’t even want to know how badly your schoolwork is suffering. You’re easily irritable and yesterday you snapped at Inoo about I don’t even know what but I was the one that had to deal with a blubbering sniveling Inoo and I can not express in words how painful that was.”
I felt terrible. Yabu has always always been so kind to me and I’m causing him extra stress, which is something I had promised myself when I became a member of JUMP that I would never do.
“Fix it Ryutaro. If you go any slower you’ll be going backwards”
“I know. I can’t say it.”
To my horror I could feel tears well in my eyes.
“I just can’t.”
Yabu stooped so he was at eye level, his face loomed in front of my own and his eyes were understanding and somehow that just made me feel a thousand times worse. He thumbed away my tears and pulled me against him. I could feel the steady beat of his heart and I let it calm me down.
When I managed to drag my eyes open I noticed something that made my heart freeze. His eyes were wide open in shock and he quickly disappeared from the doorway. I pulled my cheek away from Yabu’s chest, his hands instantly letting go. I dashed into the corridor just in time to see Chinen disappear around the corner.
Well shit.
“Is that why you’re upset Ryutaro?”
“Huh?”
“Because you like Yabu but he doesn’t feel the same.”
My jaw dropped. How could things have gotten so messed up.
“I don’t like Yabu like that.”
“But he was holding you. You were crying.”
“And the scenario of me falling for Yabu but being rejected is the only one you could come up with.”
He seemed shocked at my snotty tone.
“I…well I…”
“Yabu is the only one that knows the truth. The whole truth. He’s the only one I can talk to. The others they have their suspicions. The only one that has no idea is you and that’s because I couldn’t tell you. And know you’ve seen something innocent and interpreted it as something completely different.”
Chinen is just staring at me. My heart is beating so quickly, I feel faint but the words keep tumbling from my mouth.
“I like someone. I’ve been irritable and upset because I am unable to tell this person that I like them.”
“Are they with someone else?”
“Not exactly,” I give him a wry smile and he quirks his head in confusion.
“I want this person to see only me but it’s impossible.”
He goes to touch my arm but I bark out a laugh and take a step back. He looks like he’s been stung but if I let him touch me I don’t think I could be able to stomach seeing him with someone else.
I’m older now but still in my heart I hold my love for him. It hasn’t changed. He doesn’t sit on people’s laps anymore. He doesn’t constantly vie for attention. He still dupes Takaki into buying him lunch though.
Yabu catches my eye across the table and tilts his head and points to the seat at his side. I pull my earphones out, shove the player in my bag and walk around to his side of the table. Yabu doesn’t touch me as much anymore. Not since the day Chinen walked in on us. Sometimes I am grateful but mostly I miss the weight of his hand on my shoulders.
“He watches you, you know.”
“Who?”
“Who do you think?” He jerks his though in Chinen’s direction.”
“Does he?”
“You haven’t noticed?”
“I try not to watch him so much anymore.”
Yabu smiles sadly, “I see.”
“I’ve been trying to figure it out.”
I look up from the homework I’ve spread across the table. Homework that needs to be handed in tomorrow but so far all I have accomplished is a few dismal mathematic questions and fiddled with my mechanical pencil. “Figure what out?”
“Who you are in love with.”
The pencil I had been playing with flew across the table as my fingers suddenly lost their dexterity. “What?”
He ignored my outburst, “You don’t seem as angry anymore. You’re quiet but that isn’t particularly peculiar. You seem sad all the time though even when you are smiling so brightly. It’s as though you’re are hurting like crazy on the inside and laughing to hide it. Did you confess after all and were you rejected, is that why your eyes are so sad.”
“I didn’t confess.”
“But you still like them.”
“Always.”
He seemed troubled. My heart felt as though I had just run a marathon.
“Look at me.”
He raised his eyes to meet mine.
“See only me.”
His brows knitted in confusion.
“I want you to look only at me.”
“Wha…”
I felt my skin flush and my mouth was dry. I wasn’t ready but it was now or never.
“I’m right here so look at me. Look only at me.”
I watched as confusion, surprise and shock flittered across his expressions, gradually replaced by dawning comprehension.
“You’re not so eloquent with the confessions are you Ryutaro.”
I frowned, “Shut up. I’ve never confessed to anyone before.”
He reached for me and when I didn’t shy from his touch he gave me a blindingly bright smile.
“Me neither.”
I smiled at me.
“I like you. I am here and you are mine.”
I could feel my eyes fill once again with tears and I cursed myself for being so girly. He giggled at me, his hand tracing the line of my jaw. He didn’t wipe away my tears but pressed his lips against mine.
“I won’t make you sad anymore Ryutaro. These tears, your tears they belong to me. I don’t ever want to share.”
I am here.
xXx
I have found myself some inspiration. YAY. I have a bunch of other fics 'planned' in that I have myself some prompts and pairings chosen but whether all goes to the 'plan' is to be seen.
Please excuse my typos. I've read over it so many times already >>;
Author: BG
Pairing: Morimoto Ryutaro x Chinen Yuri
Ratings: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own them.
archive
I think everyone has noticed bar him. He’s so busy, flirting with Yamada, duping Takaki into buying him lunch, charming the staff-san with his smile, that he hasn’t even noticed. It’s off-putting and frustrating and it makes me want to grab at his shoulders and scream.
Look at me. Look only at me. Notice me.
I catch Yabu’s eye across the table and he gives me a soft smile. Yabu always looks out for me. He sees things no one else does. He sees everything. He is clearly exhausted but he raises his arm, motions to me to come to him. Walking around to his side, I slide into the plastic seat to his right. His hand is heavy against my shoulder but I feel, almost at once, as though my worries have disappeared.
“You should tell him.”
His tone is light and his voice is barely a whisper but the words pierce at me. I look up at him and he lifts his hand from my shoulder and smoothes the frown from my brows.
“You’ll get wrinkles if you frown so fiercely.”
I drop my gaze from his gentle brown eyes. I don’t like looking up into those eyes, not when they so easily see everything I’ve been trying so hard to keep hidden. I know it’s a contradiction. I want him to notice but I don’t want to tell him and I don’t want the whole world knowing my business at the same time.
Yabu isn’t really the whole world and I know he would never tell any of the others or even confirm it if perchance they figured it all out on their own. I know they have an inkling though. I’ve heard enough hushed and hurried words whispered behind cupped hands to be fairly certain that they know that I like him. I guess it makes me feel uncomfortable that they know when the one person I so desperately want to notice hasn’t got a clue.
“I can’t tell him.”
The hand is now resting against the nape of my neck, those long fingers threaded through my hair. The weight is comforting and Yabu always make me want to spill all my secrets to him.
“And why can’t you.”
I frown and he tsks at me. A burst of laughter echoes through the room and I look up to see Chinen wrapped in Arioka’s arms struggling valiantly to free himself from the fingers that grasped at his sides.
“I just can’t.”
Suddenly irritated I shrug off Yabu’s touch; standing up so abruptly that my chair tips over; I spare it a glance before all but storming from the suddenly stifling dressing room.
I felt awkward for weeks. My skin felt as though it was stretched to tight and my stomach clenched with butterflies every time I saw Chinen or anytime I met Yabu’s eyes. I felt tongue tied, I couldn’t concentrate. The choreographer was not impressed; I don’t think I have ever been shouted at as often as I was those few weeks.
Yabu left me alone for a day or two. I so wanted to apologise for losing my temper but I just couldn’t say the words. He hand found my shoulder after a long dance practice in which had been particularly brutal for me as I couldn’t remember the steps at all. I knew he had forgiven me for my rudeness and he didn’t bring up Chinen but I could feel the questions hanging in the air between us.
I am a coward so I ignored his questioning eyes and encouraging silences.
“Ryutaro gets angry often?”
I jumped in surprise, dropping my water bottle. I heard the thunk of it as it landed heavy against he dance studio floor but I didn’t bother to stoop to pick it up again. I was watching Chinen carefully. His expression was perfectly innocent but it was Chinen so that didn’t necessarily mean anything. To ask such a loaded question, what could he be thinking?
“Only when things annoy me.”
He looked poised to ask another question but I walked away before he could voice the words. I wasn’t ready. I was hopeless.
A hand grabs my wrist as I pass an open doorway. A squeak escapes me and I fall over my feet as I’m dragged into the room. Yabu has a stern look in his eyes and I swallow hard. I’m not sure I want to hear what I know he is going to say.
“Ryutaro, you have to do something.”
I open my mouth to refute this but he presses his fingertips to my lips to silence me.
“You’re falling behind at practice. I don’t even want to know how badly your schoolwork is suffering. You’re easily irritable and yesterday you snapped at Inoo about I don’t even know what but I was the one that had to deal with a blubbering sniveling Inoo and I can not express in words how painful that was.”
I felt terrible. Yabu has always always been so kind to me and I’m causing him extra stress, which is something I had promised myself when I became a member of JUMP that I would never do.
“Fix it Ryutaro. If you go any slower you’ll be going backwards”
“I know. I can’t say it.”
To my horror I could feel tears well in my eyes.
“I just can’t.”
Yabu stooped so he was at eye level, his face loomed in front of my own and his eyes were understanding and somehow that just made me feel a thousand times worse. He thumbed away my tears and pulled me against him. I could feel the steady beat of his heart and I let it calm me down.
When I managed to drag my eyes open I noticed something that made my heart freeze. His eyes were wide open in shock and he quickly disappeared from the doorway. I pulled my cheek away from Yabu’s chest, his hands instantly letting go. I dashed into the corridor just in time to see Chinen disappear around the corner.
Well shit.
“Is that why you’re upset Ryutaro?”
“Huh?”
“Because you like Yabu but he doesn’t feel the same.”
My jaw dropped. How could things have gotten so messed up.
“I don’t like Yabu like that.”
“But he was holding you. You were crying.”
“And the scenario of me falling for Yabu but being rejected is the only one you could come up with.”
He seemed shocked at my snotty tone.
“I…well I…”
“Yabu is the only one that knows the truth. The whole truth. He’s the only one I can talk to. The others they have their suspicions. The only one that has no idea is you and that’s because I couldn’t tell you. And know you’ve seen something innocent and interpreted it as something completely different.”
Chinen is just staring at me. My heart is beating so quickly, I feel faint but the words keep tumbling from my mouth.
“I like someone. I’ve been irritable and upset because I am unable to tell this person that I like them.”
“Are they with someone else?”
“Not exactly,” I give him a wry smile and he quirks his head in confusion.
“I want this person to see only me but it’s impossible.”
He goes to touch my arm but I bark out a laugh and take a step back. He looks like he’s been stung but if I let him touch me I don’t think I could be able to stomach seeing him with someone else.
I’m older now but still in my heart I hold my love for him. It hasn’t changed. He doesn’t sit on people’s laps anymore. He doesn’t constantly vie for attention. He still dupes Takaki into buying him lunch though.
Yabu catches my eye across the table and tilts his head and points to the seat at his side. I pull my earphones out, shove the player in my bag and walk around to his side of the table. Yabu doesn’t touch me as much anymore. Not since the day Chinen walked in on us. Sometimes I am grateful but mostly I miss the weight of his hand on my shoulders.
“He watches you, you know.”
“Who?”
“Who do you think?” He jerks his though in Chinen’s direction.”
“Does he?”
“You haven’t noticed?”
“I try not to watch him so much anymore.”
Yabu smiles sadly, “I see.”
“I’ve been trying to figure it out.”
I look up from the homework I’ve spread across the table. Homework that needs to be handed in tomorrow but so far all I have accomplished is a few dismal mathematic questions and fiddled with my mechanical pencil. “Figure what out?”
“Who you are in love with.”
The pencil I had been playing with flew across the table as my fingers suddenly lost their dexterity. “What?”
He ignored my outburst, “You don’t seem as angry anymore. You’re quiet but that isn’t particularly peculiar. You seem sad all the time though even when you are smiling so brightly. It’s as though you’re are hurting like crazy on the inside and laughing to hide it. Did you confess after all and were you rejected, is that why your eyes are so sad.”
“I didn’t confess.”
“But you still like them.”
“Always.”
He seemed troubled. My heart felt as though I had just run a marathon.
“Look at me.”
He raised his eyes to meet mine.
“See only me.”
His brows knitted in confusion.
“I want you to look only at me.”
“Wha…”
I felt my skin flush and my mouth was dry. I wasn’t ready but it was now or never.
“I’m right here so look at me. Look only at me.”
I watched as confusion, surprise and shock flittered across his expressions, gradually replaced by dawning comprehension.
“You’re not so eloquent with the confessions are you Ryutaro.”
I frowned, “Shut up. I’ve never confessed to anyone before.”
He reached for me and when I didn’t shy from his touch he gave me a blindingly bright smile.
“Me neither.”
I smiled at me.
“I like you. I am here and you are mine.”
I could feel my eyes fill once again with tears and I cursed myself for being so girly. He giggled at me, his hand tracing the line of my jaw. He didn’t wipe away my tears but pressed his lips against mine.
“I won’t make you sad anymore Ryutaro. These tears, your tears they belong to me. I don’t ever want to share.”
I am here.
xXx
I have found myself some inspiration. YAY. I have a bunch of other fics 'planned' in that I have myself some prompts and pairings chosen but whether all goes to the 'plan' is to be seen.
Please excuse my typos. I've read over it so many times already >>;