Best. 50Shades. Parody. Ever.

[lt_kitty]

The 50 Shades of Chicken Cookbook

"Do you have any idea what I'm about to do to you?" "No," I breathe. "No, what?" he asks menacingly. "No, Chef." He ties my ankles together tightly. The twine is tight but not so that it bites into my skin. I feel restrained but strangely free. An electric charge thrills dangerously up my spine.

Comments

[earcmacfithil]

Oh, my Dear and Fluffy Lord....

[lt_kitty]

Don't take your cat's name in vain.

[earcmacfithil]

Except that my cat is a lady.

[lt_kitty]

And don't genderswap your cat, either. The cat doesn't care either way, and it doesn't make much difference to the plot.

[nialla42]

Does the chicken talk about her bits being removed "down there"?

[lt_kitty]

I hope so. But I don't want to buy the book to find out.

I have the Internet and a decade+ of Cook's Illustrated. What do I need a cookbook for?

[nialla42]

I view cookbooks as the source of "suggested guidelines" instead of recipes. My mother is in shock that I haven't blown up the kitchen yet, but everything's been edible so far.

I guess now that it's into parody of a parody of a P2P fanfic territory, I think maybe 50 Shades is moving out of the limelight. Lots of other erotic stories are trying to ride the coattails with the use of cover art with a similar feel, but those seem to be by people who were already writing erotica that's actually erotic.

[lt_kitty]

Goodness, I hope so! The excerpts I've read were awful - unerotic sex scenes, with characters so bland you can't even root for them to get it on.

But if it introduces the world to better erotica, guess I can't stay grumpy about it.