It's probably the last thing you want to hear, but I really do understand exactly how you feel because I feel the exact same thing every single day. And when I think about the reasons why I haven't killed myself, it's mostly because I feel indebted to everyone around me, or that they'd be disappointed in me. The longer I'm here in grad school, the more my feelings of self-loathing multiply and there are times I just want to break down in tears in the middle of class because I hate myself so much and feel so inadequate.
But if you ever need to talk to someone outside of your counsellor, even if it's just to have someone to listen, I'll listen. I really hope the last week of the quarter goes well and you can finish and get a break. You deserve it, because you truly are a fantastic person.
I can never find the right words to say when I see you write posts like this, and I know that I've pretty much said this every time, but I'm here for you. Always have, always will.
If I could, I would fly over to California and be around you and maybe just even be someone that can hold you, but I can only hope that the thought is enough for now. I love you, I love you, I love you. ♥
I don't want to be cliche, but I feel that I can relate. I have never ever had any real drive or passion in my life, making me wonder what I'm living for, why I'm doing what I'm doing; but the answer always lead back to my family and friends, too. I suppose what actually were tying us down were our own insecurities. Probably, fear of not being on the same "standard" we expected ourselves to be. The perfectionist inside of us have roamed around, dominated and controlled us
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But if you ever need to talk to someone outside of your counsellor, even if it's just to have someone to listen, I'll listen. I really hope the last week of the quarter goes well and you can finish and get a break. You deserve it, because you truly are a fantastic person.
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If I could, I would fly over to California and be around you and maybe just even be someone that can hold you, but I can only hope that the thought is enough for now. I love you, I love you, I love you. ♥
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