Fic: Cough Syrup
Title: Cough Syrup
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Klaine
Word Count: 1,271
Rating: PG-13 for discussion of suicide
Spoilers: Up to 3.14 "On My Way"
Author's Notes: Written for the "choice" prompt for the bingo challenge at gleeverse
Summary: What I imagine happened immediately after Blaine's performance of "Cough Syrup"
Life's too short to even care at all oh
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control
If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I should have found by now
So I run now to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down
One more spoon of cough syrup now
One more spoon of cough syrup now…
When his song was over, Blaine stood in the spotlight, looking down at the floor. Kurt sat quietly, taking in the lyrics of the song that had just been sung to him. He folded and unfolded his hands, observing his boyfriend’s slightly slumped posture.
“There was a reason you picked that song, wasn’t there?” Kurt asked softly. He walked over and placed his hand on the other boy’s shoulder. “Blaine,” Kurt said, trying to get his attention. “Blaine!” he called a little bit louder, finally rousing him out of his thoughts. “Talk to me,” he asked, looking into his eyes. “Please.”
Blaine finally raised his eyes from the previous spot on the ground to glance at Kurt, but then quickly moved to stare out at the seats of the auditorium. Tears began to well in his eyes. Kurt took his hand and led him over to the stool he had been sitting on and forced him to sit. He went offstage to pick up another stool, and on the way quietly thanked the jazz band for their help and asked if they could give them some privacy. He took his stool over to Blaine and sat down, taking the other boy’s hand in his own.
The noise of the other students leaving finally came to an end, and Blaine finally spoke. “There’s something I should’ve told you about a long time ago,” he began, his voice shaky. “I’m not as strong as you think I am, Kurt. I… I went through a really rough time before I got to Dalton. I was in a really dark place.” Kurt leaned forward and opened his mouth to speak, but Blaine stopped him. “Let me get everything out first. If I don’t, I don’t know if it will come out at all.” Kurt sat back, nodding for him to continue.
“You know when I was at my old school, before I transferred to Dalton, I got bullied,” Blaine took a deep breath. “A lot. You know quite a few of those stories. Pushed into lockers, beat up by the football team… a lot of what you went through.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “My self-esteem was pretty low. That’s when my parents transferred me to Dalton. You know that things got better there, but they didn’t get better right away.”
He stopped a second and cleared his throat, then continued. “The bullying continued when I first transferred. There were tons of Facebook messages telling me how glad they were that I was gone. The worst was when I saw people around town. I’d still get looks from everywhere. I couldn’t leave the house for weeks.” He shook his head and chuckled bitterly. “Let alone go anywhere alone. That’s when I started boarding at Dalton. It didn’t stop then either. Somehow, someone got my cell number there. I used to get calls in the middle of the night and it’d just be someone yelling “Fag!” on the other end of the line. When I stopped answering the phone, they switched to texting it. I finally had to change my number. Things just didn’t go well for me…” Blaine looked down into his lap. “And I couldn’t take it anymore.”
Kurt sat patiently, worried about what his boyfriend was about to tell him. He squeezed Blaine’s hand to let him know he was there. “You don’t have to tell me this, Blaine. It’s okay…”
He looked Kurt in the eyes and squeezed back. “No, you should know. I don’t want to keep any secrets about my past from you.” He drug one hand across his face in frustration, sighed, then continued. “I was depressed. It’s about as depressed as I’ve ever been in my entire life. I couldn’t take all the pressure of a new, harder school and the fact that even leaving my old school, my old life, didn’t stop the torture. I…” He looked away past Kurt to the backstage door and then back to him. “I tried to kill myself, Kurt. I took a bottle of aspirin that I snuck into my room and took a handful of them.” Blaine wiped the tears than began streaming down his face. Kurt moved over to put his arm around him.
“Luckily Wes was checking in on me to see how I was adjusting, or I wouldn’t be here today.” He looked down at his hands again. “They took me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped, and put me on suicide watch for a few days. They brought me back to Dalton after I was cleared, and they made sure I had a roommate to watch over me.” He paused for a moment. “He’s the reason I joined the Warblers, really. Wes, that is. He moved into the room across the hall after it all happened and heard me singing in my room. He practically dragged me to my first rehearsal.” He smiled faintly at the memory. “Things got better after that. I had new friends; you could even say I was popular for once in my life. I became the person I was when you first met me.” He smiled weakly at Kurt.
Kurt wasn’t sure how to respond. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, Blaine. And I’m glad you told me. You’re feeling okay now,“ he asked hesitantly. “Aren’t you?” Blaine nodded. “Then why the sudden confession?”
“I had a bit of a relapse when you went back to McKinley,” Blaine said slowly, “and at the end of November.” Kurt gasped in shock. “Nothing as serious as what happened before,” he assured him quickly, reaching out to comfort his boyfriend. “I was just depressed again. Felt out of control, I guess. You remember when sang to Santana?” Kurt nodded. “Everything that happened to her brought so many emotions back to me. And then add that in with the stress of Sectionals coming around and having to deal with Sebastian,” he spat out the name like it burned his tongue. “and it was just a lot on my plate. I started to feel lost again.” He sighed. “It’s probably why I exploded at Finn and Sam, too.”
“But there you were. Amazing, wonderful you. No matter what happened, you were there for me, even if you were dealing with problems of your own. It’s always been you, Kurt. You’re the thing that brings me back to reality; the thing that,” he used his fingers to make quotation marks, “’restores life the way it should be’ for me. When things get tough and I feel like I need to run away, I know I never have to run very far.” He squeezed Kurt’s hand again. “I guess what I’m trying to say is my life is a much happier place with you in it.”
Kurt smiled. He stood up and hugged a still seated Blaine, wrapping his arms around him and enclosing him in a tight embrace. “You make my life much happier as well.” He kissed the top of his head. “And I’m so incredibly thankful to have you in my life.” He pulled Blaine’s head from his chest and looked deep into his eyes. “Promise me if you ever feel that way again, you’ll talk to me right away.”
“I promise.” Blaine said, and fully meant it. “And if you ever feel that way, you’ll talk to me too?”
“Of course. “
“Promise me, Kurt.”
“I promise, Blaine.”
“Good.”
“Anything else you want to talk about right now?” Kurt asked.
“I’m good. You?”
“I’m good too. Walk me out?” Kurt asked, knowing the answer.
“Always.”
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Klaine
Word Count: 1,271
Rating: PG-13 for discussion of suicide
Spoilers: Up to 3.14 "On My Way"
Author's Notes: Written for the "choice" prompt for the bingo challenge at gleeverse
Summary: What I imagine happened immediately after Blaine's performance of "Cough Syrup"
Life's too short to even care at all oh
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control
If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I should have found by now
So I run now to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down
One more spoon of cough syrup now
One more spoon of cough syrup now…
When his song was over, Blaine stood in the spotlight, looking down at the floor. Kurt sat quietly, taking in the lyrics of the song that had just been sung to him. He folded and unfolded his hands, observing his boyfriend’s slightly slumped posture.
“There was a reason you picked that song, wasn’t there?” Kurt asked softly. He walked over and placed his hand on the other boy’s shoulder. “Blaine,” Kurt said, trying to get his attention. “Blaine!” he called a little bit louder, finally rousing him out of his thoughts. “Talk to me,” he asked, looking into his eyes. “Please.”
Blaine finally raised his eyes from the previous spot on the ground to glance at Kurt, but then quickly moved to stare out at the seats of the auditorium. Tears began to well in his eyes. Kurt took his hand and led him over to the stool he had been sitting on and forced him to sit. He went offstage to pick up another stool, and on the way quietly thanked the jazz band for their help and asked if they could give them some privacy. He took his stool over to Blaine and sat down, taking the other boy’s hand in his own.
The noise of the other students leaving finally came to an end, and Blaine finally spoke. “There’s something I should’ve told you about a long time ago,” he began, his voice shaky. “I’m not as strong as you think I am, Kurt. I… I went through a really rough time before I got to Dalton. I was in a really dark place.” Kurt leaned forward and opened his mouth to speak, but Blaine stopped him. “Let me get everything out first. If I don’t, I don’t know if it will come out at all.” Kurt sat back, nodding for him to continue.
“You know when I was at my old school, before I transferred to Dalton, I got bullied,” Blaine took a deep breath. “A lot. You know quite a few of those stories. Pushed into lockers, beat up by the football team… a lot of what you went through.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “My self-esteem was pretty low. That’s when my parents transferred me to Dalton. You know that things got better there, but they didn’t get better right away.”
He stopped a second and cleared his throat, then continued. “The bullying continued when I first transferred. There were tons of Facebook messages telling me how glad they were that I was gone. The worst was when I saw people around town. I’d still get looks from everywhere. I couldn’t leave the house for weeks.” He shook his head and chuckled bitterly. “Let alone go anywhere alone. That’s when I started boarding at Dalton. It didn’t stop then either. Somehow, someone got my cell number there. I used to get calls in the middle of the night and it’d just be someone yelling “Fag!” on the other end of the line. When I stopped answering the phone, they switched to texting it. I finally had to change my number. Things just didn’t go well for me…” Blaine looked down into his lap. “And I couldn’t take it anymore.”
Kurt sat patiently, worried about what his boyfriend was about to tell him. He squeezed Blaine’s hand to let him know he was there. “You don’t have to tell me this, Blaine. It’s okay…”
He looked Kurt in the eyes and squeezed back. “No, you should know. I don’t want to keep any secrets about my past from you.” He drug one hand across his face in frustration, sighed, then continued. “I was depressed. It’s about as depressed as I’ve ever been in my entire life. I couldn’t take all the pressure of a new, harder school and the fact that even leaving my old school, my old life, didn’t stop the torture. I…” He looked away past Kurt to the backstage door and then back to him. “I tried to kill myself, Kurt. I took a bottle of aspirin that I snuck into my room and took a handful of them.” Blaine wiped the tears than began streaming down his face. Kurt moved over to put his arm around him.
“Luckily Wes was checking in on me to see how I was adjusting, or I wouldn’t be here today.” He looked down at his hands again. “They took me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped, and put me on suicide watch for a few days. They brought me back to Dalton after I was cleared, and they made sure I had a roommate to watch over me.” He paused for a moment. “He’s the reason I joined the Warblers, really. Wes, that is. He moved into the room across the hall after it all happened and heard me singing in my room. He practically dragged me to my first rehearsal.” He smiled faintly at the memory. “Things got better after that. I had new friends; you could even say I was popular for once in my life. I became the person I was when you first met me.” He smiled weakly at Kurt.
Kurt wasn’t sure how to respond. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, Blaine. And I’m glad you told me. You’re feeling okay now,“ he asked hesitantly. “Aren’t you?” Blaine nodded. “Then why the sudden confession?”
“I had a bit of a relapse when you went back to McKinley,” Blaine said slowly, “and at the end of November.” Kurt gasped in shock. “Nothing as serious as what happened before,” he assured him quickly, reaching out to comfort his boyfriend. “I was just depressed again. Felt out of control, I guess. You remember when sang to Santana?” Kurt nodded. “Everything that happened to her brought so many emotions back to me. And then add that in with the stress of Sectionals coming around and having to deal with Sebastian,” he spat out the name like it burned his tongue. “and it was just a lot on my plate. I started to feel lost again.” He sighed. “It’s probably why I exploded at Finn and Sam, too.”
“But there you were. Amazing, wonderful you. No matter what happened, you were there for me, even if you were dealing with problems of your own. It’s always been you, Kurt. You’re the thing that brings me back to reality; the thing that,” he used his fingers to make quotation marks, “’restores life the way it should be’ for me. When things get tough and I feel like I need to run away, I know I never have to run very far.” He squeezed Kurt’s hand again. “I guess what I’m trying to say is my life is a much happier place with you in it.”
Kurt smiled. He stood up and hugged a still seated Blaine, wrapping his arms around him and enclosing him in a tight embrace. “You make my life much happier as well.” He kissed the top of his head. “And I’m so incredibly thankful to have you in my life.” He pulled Blaine’s head from his chest and looked deep into his eyes. “Promise me if you ever feel that way again, you’ll talk to me right away.”
“I promise.” Blaine said, and fully meant it. “And if you ever feel that way, you’ll talk to me too?”
“Of course. “
“Promise me, Kurt.”
“I promise, Blaine.”
“Good.”
“Anything else you want to talk about right now?” Kurt asked.
“I’m good. You?”
“I’m good too. Walk me out?” Kurt asked, knowing the answer.
“Always.”