an update on me since you were totally dying to know
Steven told me this morning to do something I really enjoyed today.
He had told me that yesterday morning too but I couldn't think of anything so I essentially did nothing. But today he said that this time he was going to "hold me to it," though I don't know how he'll do that. I can't really think of anything today either. Aside from video games - I've been working on Wii The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess... but even that gets old sometimes. Like I said, pretty apathetic. Have no idea what I'll enjoy. Lots I can think to do, but don't really WANT to do any of it.
The last few weeks have been pretty uneventful. There are no jobs out there except for nurses. I applied to some local museums and other historical organizations, knowing full well that I had an ice cube's chance in hell, but knew I should do it anyway. Two rejections, four no response.
There's always the option of applying to one of the few Museums out of state that are hiring, but I don't want to pick up and move before I know I'll like the job... that and losing my job is still terribly hard on me and I have a really awful time dealing with any change. Moving, especially out of state, would be really difficult for me - There are no museums hiring in Florida - all state funding was cut. Thanks Chip! (My dad grew up with Charlie Crist, and said they called him Chip because he had a chipped front tooth.)
I have been looking for admin work in the area for the moment, but there is not much and most call for a good amount of experience. If I find something decent enough, I figured I could ride out the depression (come on, let's call a spade a spade - I'M certainly depressed) until I'm ready to move and/or jobs open up. And even though I know I could show up any person with 10 years experience in being a receptionist, I doubt anyone will even look at my resume because I don't have the experience. I don't know - I'm still looking but who knows?
I'm picking up a little money here and there - one of the volunteer ladies at the Museum's husband is visually impaired, so I am working with him on reading, driving, and other stuff. The money is pretty good, but it's only a few hours a day twice a week in Treasure Island (so still commuting).... Still, it gets me out of the house two more times a week than usual. (Bringing the total to about five times a week - maybe less).
Been really anxious lately - flying off the handle at Steven for no reason, feeling panicked, apathetic, etc. My usual first depression symptoms. I am usually making it out of bed usually by 1 pm though, but today I was up by 10:30. Not in bed all day, which is good, but am still frustrated with pretty much everything and frustrated with my frustration. I just feel like I can't go anywhere because there's few things to do when you shouldn't spend money... All the things I really enjoy doing, that would cheer me up, I feel like I shouldn't.
I mean, I have savings, but just always thought I'd always use it on my wedding, a car, a house, my children, etc. Though Steven reminded me that emergencies are REALLY the reason we save, I still feel like my hard work to save versus spending everything on luxuries has been wasted.
I really really really want to go out tonight - we already decided we weren't doing gifts because of $...we were going to go to a concert (jazz, funk, blues???) that Steven got free tickets to, but he lost one of them... so now I have no idea. Even if we wanted to go to dinner, I'm sure every place will be packed or has nothing available. He's at work till 8 so it's not even like we're spending the day together. Oh well I guess.
Still haven't figured out the enjoyable thing to do today...
He had told me that yesterday morning too but I couldn't think of anything so I essentially did nothing. But today he said that this time he was going to "hold me to it," though I don't know how he'll do that. I can't really think of anything today either. Aside from video games - I've been working on Wii The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess... but even that gets old sometimes. Like I said, pretty apathetic. Have no idea what I'll enjoy. Lots I can think to do, but don't really WANT to do any of it.
The last few weeks have been pretty uneventful. There are no jobs out there except for nurses. I applied to some local museums and other historical organizations, knowing full well that I had an ice cube's chance in hell, but knew I should do it anyway. Two rejections, four no response.
There's always the option of applying to one of the few Museums out of state that are hiring, but I don't want to pick up and move before I know I'll like the job... that and losing my job is still terribly hard on me and I have a really awful time dealing with any change. Moving, especially out of state, would be really difficult for me - There are no museums hiring in Florida - all state funding was cut. Thanks Chip! (My dad grew up with Charlie Crist, and said they called him Chip because he had a chipped front tooth.)
I have been looking for admin work in the area for the moment, but there is not much and most call for a good amount of experience. If I find something decent enough, I figured I could ride out the depression (come on, let's call a spade a spade - I'M certainly depressed) until I'm ready to move and/or jobs open up. And even though I know I could show up any person with 10 years experience in being a receptionist, I doubt anyone will even look at my resume because I don't have the experience. I don't know - I'm still looking but who knows?
I'm picking up a little money here and there - one of the volunteer ladies at the Museum's husband is visually impaired, so I am working with him on reading, driving, and other stuff. The money is pretty good, but it's only a few hours a day twice a week in Treasure Island (so still commuting).... Still, it gets me out of the house two more times a week than usual. (Bringing the total to about five times a week - maybe less).
Been really anxious lately - flying off the handle at Steven for no reason, feeling panicked, apathetic, etc. My usual first depression symptoms. I am usually making it out of bed usually by 1 pm though, but today I was up by 10:30. Not in bed all day, which is good, but am still frustrated with pretty much everything and frustrated with my frustration. I just feel like I can't go anywhere because there's few things to do when you shouldn't spend money... All the things I really enjoy doing, that would cheer me up, I feel like I shouldn't.
I mean, I have savings, but just always thought I'd always use it on my wedding, a car, a house, my children, etc. Though Steven reminded me that emergencies are REALLY the reason we save, I still feel like my hard work to save versus spending everything on luxuries has been wasted.
I really really really want to go out tonight - we already decided we weren't doing gifts because of $...we were going to go to a concert (jazz, funk, blues???) that Steven got free tickets to, but he lost one of them... so now I have no idea. Even if we wanted to go to dinner, I'm sure every place will be packed or has nothing available. He's at work till 8 so it's not even like we're spending the day together. Oh well I guess.
Still haven't figured out the enjoyable thing to do today...