[Mekakuni] fic: Memories of the Future ch.20
Exactly two months since the last installment. I will stop torturing myself with writing long romance fics after I finish this fic. XD; Only 9 more parts left after this one! This sure is an incredibly sappy story that leaves me with warm fuzzies even when I'm writing it. Oh Namiki. ♥ I wish there were more of a fandom for this series. This chapter is so short and is mostly just talking. .__.
Memories of the Future
A Namiki-centric fic for 30_kisses
Disclaimer: Mekakushi no Kuni belongs to Tsukuba Sakura. I'm making no profit from writing this piece of fanwork.
archive: lj | ffnet
word count: ~1570
----chapter 20: #25 fence-----
He already had all the extra time in the world to come to term with his feelings, and he'd learned from Kanade to be true to himself. It was a difficult task when matters of the heart were involved, but Masahiro tried his best. He didn't know if Kaichou would forgive him for his encroachment. There was only one way to find out, and he wasn't going to skirt around it. He wasn't in this to deceive her. He wanted to be in her presence. He wanted to get to know her better.
Masahiro stood up, his legs shaking from the effort. He extended his hand to Kaichou to help her up. She slipped her slender hand in his. When both of them were on their feet once again, Masahiro dropped her hand reluctantly and gathered his courage. He rolled his shoulders to get his senses back--his shoulders still smarted from the fall. When there was no more stalling he could do, he finally looked at her directly and almost lost his resolve.
He didn't recall from his vision that her eyes would be this clear, this focused. She was waiting for him to respond in some way, and despite her confidence, he could see her gulp. She was just as nervous.
"Kaichou," he began before he took the plunge. There was no more time to ponder where this was going to take their relationship.
"I like you too," he confessed.
She didn't respond immediately. She only blinked, as if his words hadn't made any sense. She was standing so very still. It felt like the slightest movement would shatter the moment. Even so, the party went on around them. They were the only ones teetering on the fence.
"Can I...take that in the romantic sense?" she ventured. Even though her voice was soft and the party was roaring around them, all he could hear was her.
"If that's what you meant your words to be as well," he replied almost straight away. He felt strangely calm given the situation, almost like a prisoner resigned for judgment. He was trapped by his power, trapped by his feelings, trapped by the knowledge that there was no easy future ahead of him.
"Your response was surprisingly quick," she commented.
He sucked in his breath and felt his lips quirk up on their own. He wasn't trying to smirk, but that wry tilt was out of his command. This was the part he dreaded, and he held little hope for things to turn out happily like the events in a fairytale. This was something he had to do.
"I like you," he repeated. "And I do mean in the romantic sense."
She was about to respond, but he stopped her by putting his hand up. His heart thudded dully in his chest.
"Wait, let me finish," he said. "I do like you very much, and I'm not being flippant about it. My response was this fast because...I had a vision of this happening, and I realized then that this was how I wanted to answer."
There, it was out in the open. Masahiro wanted her to know that his power was a part of him. He wouldn't be himself without his power, and he had used it on her without a second thought. Confessions were so personal, but he had gone and ruined it for her, proving that there would be no privacy in a relationship with him. He didn't believe that anyone would ever willingly enter such a relationship.
"Oh," she replied. And that was all she said. Masahiro felt like his facial muscles were going to kill him--why was his mouth quivering so much? But he didn't offer to elaborate. She was still gathering her thoughts and turning what he had said over in her mind. Masahiro loved that about her. She wasn't quick to jump to conclusions. She examined things carefully before she made her judgments.
If he hadn't already known he liked her that way, he would have staggered back from his own thoughts. These thoughts that he had always had about her suddenly took on a new meaning.
"That's..." she murmured, snapping him out of his stupor. "That's fantastic."
That's...what? His mind halted, unable to process what she had just said.
"I mean," she continued as she ran her hand through her hair. "I never thought you would like me back. I mean, I completely thought this would be like the time I confessed to...oh gosh, this isn't the time to bring that up. I kind of thought you still liked...and that's not really that great a topic either."
She covered her face with her hands. Her ears were already bright red. "I'm rambling, aren't I?"
"You kind of are," he replied. "And truth to be told, before I saw that you would confess to me, I was still under the impression that you liked Arou." She looked at him apologetically, but he couldn't figure out why she felt the need to be apologetic. He was the one throwing things in a bind, not her.
"And," he continued, "I thought I was in love with Kanade." In a way, he was still and will always be in love with Kanade, even though the affection he held for her was of a different kind. He only figured that out once he realized his feelings for Kaichou, but no matter what happened, Kanade would always hold a large part of his heart. Without Kanade, he would have continued his downward spiral. He would have been a useless guy who drowned his sorrows in drinks and frightened people off with tales of fatal injuries. He would have closed himself off and hated himself for it. He would have been a cold, heartless bastard who never forgave his family.
He would have never met Kaichou.
Kaichou's apologetic look had been replaced by one of understanding. She was too trusting. This wasn't going to work. Things couldn't possibly be this easy. If there were only one girl in the whole world who understood what Kanade meant to him and even accepted that...that person would be Kaichou.
"Namiki, look at me."
Her quiet words were more than enough to command him.
"Namiki, let me tell you now that I don't know what the heck I'm doing either, or what I'm supposed to feel about your power. All I know is that I care about you, and that you care about me. I'm glad the fall knocked enough sense in me and got me to confess, or else we wouldn't be here now, would we? And don't try to scare me off with talks about violating my privacy or liking other people. And don't tell me you weren't trying to do that."
She grabbed his hand. His eyebrows shot up.
"Are you reading my future right now?" she asked.
"No."
"Will you ever read my future without telling me?" she continued.
"Yes." His answer came immediately. He didn't even think to lie.
Instead of dropping his hand, Kaichou squeezed his hands reassuringly. A smile blossomed over her face.
"Good," she murmured, happiness tinging her voice.
"Good...?" he asked, bewildered. What was good about that?
She squeezed his hand once more, her smile bright. "That's what I like about you, Namiki. You're blunt and direct. You don't hide things or dumb down your words. I can trust you to speak the truth."
"If it's bluntness you want, that I can certainly do..." he commented wryly. She had completely knocked him off his feet with her logic. He didn't quite know what to think.
"In return," she continued softly, "I hope you'll be able to trust me to try to understand your power as best as I can. I want to know more about you, Namiki, but sometimes I do feel like an...outsider. Like that time at the fireworks, I came to realize how difficult it is for me to fathom the depths of your power. I don't share the same bond you have with Kanade and Arou. That's something special between you three that I can never come between. I can't promise you that I'll understand completely, but I can promise to try."
The question now was...was he willing to cross that fence with her?
Masahiro gulped. "If you...if you're willing to try, that's more than I could have ever asked for."
He squeezed her hand back. Things weren't perfect, but she gave him hope.
Her radiant smile was completely worth it.
-----
They continued holding hands even when they returned to the party. Kaichou had wanted to fix the flowers, those dratted flowers that were now drooping over the side. He had tugged her back with a scowl.
"Leave those flowers be," he had said. "A little disorder doesn't hurt. I don't want anyone else falling tonight."
Kaichou had looked up at the flowers in amusement. "I guess it doesn't hurt leaving this little reminder of how we got together."
He hadn't blushed, but his face had felt warm. It still felt a little surreal to him, but here they were. A couple.
Even when midnight rolled about, their story didn't end precisely because this was no fairytale. There were no glass slippers involved, or kisses to break a spell. He hadn't merely crossed the fence. He had chosen to jump off it with her. This was his life, his reality.
For once, he was glad.
-----
to be continued
next chapter: the road home
Memories of the Future
A Namiki-centric fic for 30_kisses
Disclaimer: Mekakushi no Kuni belongs to Tsukuba Sakura. I'm making no profit from writing this piece of fanwork.
archive: lj | ffnet
word count: ~1570
----chapter 20: #25 fence-----
He already had all the extra time in the world to come to term with his feelings, and he'd learned from Kanade to be true to himself. It was a difficult task when matters of the heart were involved, but Masahiro tried his best. He didn't know if Kaichou would forgive him for his encroachment. There was only one way to find out, and he wasn't going to skirt around it. He wasn't in this to deceive her. He wanted to be in her presence. He wanted to get to know her better.
Masahiro stood up, his legs shaking from the effort. He extended his hand to Kaichou to help her up. She slipped her slender hand in his. When both of them were on their feet once again, Masahiro dropped her hand reluctantly and gathered his courage. He rolled his shoulders to get his senses back--his shoulders still smarted from the fall. When there was no more stalling he could do, he finally looked at her directly and almost lost his resolve.
He didn't recall from his vision that her eyes would be this clear, this focused. She was waiting for him to respond in some way, and despite her confidence, he could see her gulp. She was just as nervous.
"Kaichou," he began before he took the plunge. There was no more time to ponder where this was going to take their relationship.
"I like you too," he confessed.
She didn't respond immediately. She only blinked, as if his words hadn't made any sense. She was standing so very still. It felt like the slightest movement would shatter the moment. Even so, the party went on around them. They were the only ones teetering on the fence.
"Can I...take that in the romantic sense?" she ventured. Even though her voice was soft and the party was roaring around them, all he could hear was her.
"If that's what you meant your words to be as well," he replied almost straight away. He felt strangely calm given the situation, almost like a prisoner resigned for judgment. He was trapped by his power, trapped by his feelings, trapped by the knowledge that there was no easy future ahead of him.
"Your response was surprisingly quick," she commented.
He sucked in his breath and felt his lips quirk up on their own. He wasn't trying to smirk, but that wry tilt was out of his command. This was the part he dreaded, and he held little hope for things to turn out happily like the events in a fairytale. This was something he had to do.
"I like you," he repeated. "And I do mean in the romantic sense."
She was about to respond, but he stopped her by putting his hand up. His heart thudded dully in his chest.
"Wait, let me finish," he said. "I do like you very much, and I'm not being flippant about it. My response was this fast because...I had a vision of this happening, and I realized then that this was how I wanted to answer."
There, it was out in the open. Masahiro wanted her to know that his power was a part of him. He wouldn't be himself without his power, and he had used it on her without a second thought. Confessions were so personal, but he had gone and ruined it for her, proving that there would be no privacy in a relationship with him. He didn't believe that anyone would ever willingly enter such a relationship.
"Oh," she replied. And that was all she said. Masahiro felt like his facial muscles were going to kill him--why was his mouth quivering so much? But he didn't offer to elaborate. She was still gathering her thoughts and turning what he had said over in her mind. Masahiro loved that about her. She wasn't quick to jump to conclusions. She examined things carefully before she made her judgments.
If he hadn't already known he liked her that way, he would have staggered back from his own thoughts. These thoughts that he had always had about her suddenly took on a new meaning.
"That's..." she murmured, snapping him out of his stupor. "That's fantastic."
That's...what? His mind halted, unable to process what she had just said.
"I mean," she continued as she ran her hand through her hair. "I never thought you would like me back. I mean, I completely thought this would be like the time I confessed to...oh gosh, this isn't the time to bring that up. I kind of thought you still liked...and that's not really that great a topic either."
She covered her face with her hands. Her ears were already bright red. "I'm rambling, aren't I?"
"You kind of are," he replied. "And truth to be told, before I saw that you would confess to me, I was still under the impression that you liked Arou." She looked at him apologetically, but he couldn't figure out why she felt the need to be apologetic. He was the one throwing things in a bind, not her.
"And," he continued, "I thought I was in love with Kanade." In a way, he was still and will always be in love with Kanade, even though the affection he held for her was of a different kind. He only figured that out once he realized his feelings for Kaichou, but no matter what happened, Kanade would always hold a large part of his heart. Without Kanade, he would have continued his downward spiral. He would have been a useless guy who drowned his sorrows in drinks and frightened people off with tales of fatal injuries. He would have closed himself off and hated himself for it. He would have been a cold, heartless bastard who never forgave his family.
He would have never met Kaichou.
Kaichou's apologetic look had been replaced by one of understanding. She was too trusting. This wasn't going to work. Things couldn't possibly be this easy. If there were only one girl in the whole world who understood what Kanade meant to him and even accepted that...that person would be Kaichou.
"Namiki, look at me."
Her quiet words were more than enough to command him.
"Namiki, let me tell you now that I don't know what the heck I'm doing either, or what I'm supposed to feel about your power. All I know is that I care about you, and that you care about me. I'm glad the fall knocked enough sense in me and got me to confess, or else we wouldn't be here now, would we? And don't try to scare me off with talks about violating my privacy or liking other people. And don't tell me you weren't trying to do that."
She grabbed his hand. His eyebrows shot up.
"Are you reading my future right now?" she asked.
"No."
"Will you ever read my future without telling me?" she continued.
"Yes." His answer came immediately. He didn't even think to lie.
Instead of dropping his hand, Kaichou squeezed his hands reassuringly. A smile blossomed over her face.
"Good," she murmured, happiness tinging her voice.
"Good...?" he asked, bewildered. What was good about that?
She squeezed his hand once more, her smile bright. "That's what I like about you, Namiki. You're blunt and direct. You don't hide things or dumb down your words. I can trust you to speak the truth."
"If it's bluntness you want, that I can certainly do..." he commented wryly. She had completely knocked him off his feet with her logic. He didn't quite know what to think.
"In return," she continued softly, "I hope you'll be able to trust me to try to understand your power as best as I can. I want to know more about you, Namiki, but sometimes I do feel like an...outsider. Like that time at the fireworks, I came to realize how difficult it is for me to fathom the depths of your power. I don't share the same bond you have with Kanade and Arou. That's something special between you three that I can never come between. I can't promise you that I'll understand completely, but I can promise to try."
The question now was...was he willing to cross that fence with her?
Masahiro gulped. "If you...if you're willing to try, that's more than I could have ever asked for."
He squeezed her hand back. Things weren't perfect, but she gave him hope.
Her radiant smile was completely worth it.
-----
They continued holding hands even when they returned to the party. Kaichou had wanted to fix the flowers, those dratted flowers that were now drooping over the side. He had tugged her back with a scowl.
"Leave those flowers be," he had said. "A little disorder doesn't hurt. I don't want anyone else falling tonight."
Kaichou had looked up at the flowers in amusement. "I guess it doesn't hurt leaving this little reminder of how we got together."
He hadn't blushed, but his face had felt warm. It still felt a little surreal to him, but here they were. A couple.
Even when midnight rolled about, their story didn't end precisely because this was no fairytale. There were no glass slippers involved, or kisses to break a spell. He hadn't merely crossed the fence. He had chosen to jump off it with her. This was his life, his reality.
For once, he was glad.
-----
to be continued
next chapter: the road home