[Bokurano] fic: Those Left Behind: The Aftertaste is Gonna Break Your Heart
Wow, only two parts left after this! I have the next one planned. Wonder if I should write something more involved for the last part, but unlike the "As I break your chair" theme that I stopped with last time, this last theme isn't as grand, and I've pretty much exhausted everything I want to write about. I also have a deadline looming for switching_it_up that I'll be prioritizing. The writing for that has been hard, but it will be done. >__>
Title: Those Left Behind: The Aftertaste is Gonna Break Your Heart
Day/Theme: Aug 29 The aftertaste is gonna break your heart
Series: Bokurano
Character/Pairing: Nakarai Miko
Rating: PG
Notes: for 31_days. Manga canon. Spoilers up to chapter 57.
Archive: LJ | ffnet
-----
"Excuse me but, could you please leave me alone? If I, If I just didn't let her go out that day..."
-----
Her friends and admirers came to visit her all the time, but she turned them away each time. She could hear their whispers and worries, but no matter what they said, they couldn't stop her from feeling disconnected with the world after her injury kept her immobile. She had never wanted to be tied down by marriage, but that didn't mean she hadn't wanted to be a mother. She loved Mako more than anything in the world.
"Mako..." she'd murmur over and over like a mantra when no one was around to hear. "Mako..."
The hospital forced her to eat, but the food was always bland. Tasteless. It made her gag.
They forced her to take medicine, bitter medicine that made her shiver, but she'd close her eyes and drink it all even though it tasted like poison. The taste would linger on her tongue for what felt like hours. No amount of water could get rid of it. Perhaps it was precisely that horrid aftertaste that allowed her to drink it. She didn't deserve any better.
Trips to the bathroom were painful, more effort than it was worth when her legs wouldn't support her. Seeing herself in the mirror with sunken cheeks and pale lips wasn't a surprise anymore. That was her in a nutshell, a faded version of the pretty and confident woman she used to be. She had given up. This was who she was underneath all her bravado. She had never needed a man. She had only ever needed Mako, but now she was no longer with her.
She would have continued living in this nonliving way, turning away all those that cared for her, had Mako's friends not visited. When they spoke, tears rolled down her face. For once, what she tasted wasn't bland or bitter. It was salty. The tears that rolled down her face as she thought of her daughter and what she must think of her mother for wasting away like this were salty.
She began to eat without being forced to. The food was still bland. Tasteless. But it didn't make her gag anymore.
She began to take her medicine without being forced to. The medicine was just as bitter as always, but she didn't think of it as poison. It was necessary for her recovery, just as necessary as her physical therapy sessions.
She felt, perhaps, what she had been tasting all along was the taste of regret. Blandness for her ignorance. Bitterness for her ineptitude.
Her friends and admirers never stopped visiting her, but now she let them in.
"Miko, won't you marry me?" asked one of her more charismatic suitors who most likely thought she was weak and in need of a man's support.
She shook her head with a smile that was reminiscent of her old smile.
That was how everyone knew Miko would be fine.
-----
the end
Title: Those Left Behind: The Aftertaste is Gonna Break Your Heart
Day/Theme: Aug 29 The aftertaste is gonna break your heart
Series: Bokurano
Character/Pairing: Nakarai Miko
Rating: PG
Notes: for 31_days. Manga canon. Spoilers up to chapter 57.
Archive: LJ | ffnet
-----
"Excuse me but, could you please leave me alone? If I, If I just didn't let her go out that day..."
-----
Her friends and admirers came to visit her all the time, but she turned them away each time. She could hear their whispers and worries, but no matter what they said, they couldn't stop her from feeling disconnected with the world after her injury kept her immobile. She had never wanted to be tied down by marriage, but that didn't mean she hadn't wanted to be a mother. She loved Mako more than anything in the world.
"Mako..." she'd murmur over and over like a mantra when no one was around to hear. "Mako..."
The hospital forced her to eat, but the food was always bland. Tasteless. It made her gag.
They forced her to take medicine, bitter medicine that made her shiver, but she'd close her eyes and drink it all even though it tasted like poison. The taste would linger on her tongue for what felt like hours. No amount of water could get rid of it. Perhaps it was precisely that horrid aftertaste that allowed her to drink it. She didn't deserve any better.
Trips to the bathroom were painful, more effort than it was worth when her legs wouldn't support her. Seeing herself in the mirror with sunken cheeks and pale lips wasn't a surprise anymore. That was her in a nutshell, a faded version of the pretty and confident woman she used to be. She had given up. This was who she was underneath all her bravado. She had never needed a man. She had only ever needed Mako, but now she was no longer with her.
She would have continued living in this nonliving way, turning away all those that cared for her, had Mako's friends not visited. When they spoke, tears rolled down her face. For once, what she tasted wasn't bland or bitter. It was salty. The tears that rolled down her face as she thought of her daughter and what she must think of her mother for wasting away like this were salty.
She began to eat without being forced to. The food was still bland. Tasteless. But it didn't make her gag anymore.
She began to take her medicine without being forced to. The medicine was just as bitter as always, but she didn't think of it as poison. It was necessary for her recovery, just as necessary as her physical therapy sessions.
She felt, perhaps, what she had been tasting all along was the taste of regret. Blandness for her ignorance. Bitterness for her ineptitude.
Her friends and admirers never stopped visiting her, but now she let them in.
"Miko, won't you marry me?" asked one of her more charismatic suitors who most likely thought she was weak and in need of a man's support.
She shook her head with a smile that was reminiscent of her old smile.
That was how everyone knew Miko would be fine.
-----
the end