(Untitled)

[lucetimods]

Who: EVERYONE
What: Event stuff happening!
When: RIGHT NOW?? Can be starting on the 27th and onward.
Where: EVERYWHERE
Summary: Creatures and creations and whatnot from the Battle Dome are appearing all over. This is for the sake of having a mass log available for everyone, so have a free-for-all~
Rating: ...Unrated, too many people 8

Comments

Mind if a bird jumps in here? c8

[talontrot]

[Metal things that shoot at you. Clearly they are like very weird Tintops.

Hence, they get a Grenade Egg.

Wheatley may be a little more than surprised to see a bird suddenly trot in out of nowhere - likely she got in through a window or something - and blow one of the turrets sky-high with a bomb. The others flanking it take splash damage, and subsequently get knocked over.

That leaves several to try to shoot Kazooie - but she's a cartoon. The bullets don't hit her normally - they impact, and she makes a sound of pain, but they don't do more than make her stumble back. And in return, the remaining turrets get pelted with Fire Eggs.

Then she glares at the Personality Core who had been talking irritatingly a moment ago.]

You just gonna lay there or what?

BIRD D8

[macely]

[Well then.

All Wheatley got to see was an explosion. The unfortunate sphere is caught up a bit in that splash damage, tipping backwards and wobbling around as the core immediately panics.]

Who's there!? What's going on?! I hear explosions, am I dead? I don't... I don't feel dead... Are the turrets gone? What's going on over there?

[With no small amount of effort and grunting, Wheatley does manage to right himself again, nubby little wings flapping desperately as he wobbles upright and...]

....

[..... D8]

B...Bir...

Stay away! I'm armed! Deadly! A bomb! A massive bomb! I'll go right off, right now! I-I'm... I'm an... anti-bird bomb! That is also not edible at all! Don't kill me!

LOL I only remembered that now, how awesome is this meeting (also fail typo there me)

[talontrot]

[THIS IS YOUR DOOM IN RED FEATHERS, WHEATLEY.

Unlike other birds, this one is pissed not because her eggs were dumped anywhere, but because a certain Personality Core is freaking out at her.]

Yeesh. You'd have thought you never saw a breegull before in your life.

Look, those weird Tintop-things are gone now, okay? So if you could just toss me a Jiggy or somethin', that'd be great. Or even just roll on home, I almost don't care anymore. Whatever'll shut you up fastest.

XDDD IT IS ONLY HIS LUCK

[macely]

[WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO HIM WHAT DID HE EVER DO other than almost blow up a whole facility and nearly kill his only friend ever.

TALKING DEMON BIRDS.]

... A... a what? Who? What's going on?

[Jig huh? Bree what?]

A-are they gone? ... You're gonna peck my optic out the second I move, aren't you? I'm on to your tricks, bird, don't think you can pull one over on me. I'll start getting right up and you'll fly over and BAM! Devious, veeeery devious.

Well you can just forget it! I'm not moving for any bird, even one.. no, especially one that talks.

*wipes away a single tear of greatness*

[talontrot]

[Wheatley could be forgiven for mistaking Kazooie for a demon. After all, she can shoot fiery eggs.]

I'm gonna peck you in the mouth-tic if you don't shut up!

Look, Metalhead, I'm trying to bust you out of here. If you wanna stay in the corner and rust, 's'perfectly fine by me. I don't give a darn. I'm just the amazing hero who rescued your sorry tin can.

[macely]

[And she talks. And she is using that ability to yell at him. Why can't he ever run into friendly, cuddly birds?

Welp, the threat of being pecked does shut him up pretty quick, the optic shrinking sharply down to a point as it retracts into the metal hull.]

... But I don't like rust.

[Brilliant there, Wheaters. There's a soft, sputtering hiss after a moment though, and the said sorry tin can actually does get up after a moment, small jets propelling the little sphere about four feet upwards.]

Alright... right... Okay. Getting out then. Not... rusting. Or sitting in any corner. But I'm watching you, bird.

[talontrot]

[Holy crap, this guy is like a Tintop. With jet engines. And an annoying voice. And one eye.

... Okay so he's not very much like a Tintop at all. But Kazooie doesn't exactly have much to compare to.]

Yeesh, fine. Just... where the heck are we, anyway? Looks like Grunty Industries, but it's way too clean.

... And what are you?

[macely]

[He'd be insulted to hear that you know. He's a marvel damnit. FUCKIN' AMAZING.]

Huh? Oh ah... hm. Looks like a test chamber back in the facility... But... She hasn't tried to smash me yet and I've noticed a big lack of snarky, mocking commentary so She... must either be asleep or offline. Or dead. I can live with dead. so, not Grunty or whatever it is you're going on about. Aperture. Much better than whatever Grunty place there is out there.

Oh who me? I'm a personality core, thank you very much. One of the not defective ones. Working perfectly. Right as rain. Just a little bit dented up.

[talontrot]

As far as I'm concerned? Anything is better than what that old hag makes. Making underwear in a factory? Gross! And then her toilet... [Kazooie suppresses a shudder at the memory.]

Who's "she", then?

[Kazooie raises an eyebrow at that last bit.] Yep. You sure seem to be working great, sparking in the corner and all. I'm no mechanic, but doesn't the electricity have to stay inside the machine?

You're one weird kind of machine-ball-guy.

[macely]

You're not supposed to do that? I mean... not that Aperture made underwear. I don't think. But really, where are you supposed to make it anyway? ... Look, the less said about humans and toilets, the better. Really. Let's not make mention of it ever again, alright?

Oh ah... um.. She... She ah... Another thing, that... um, I don't want to talk about. At all. Ever. Just in case She is awake and can hear us. To avoid death.

[The optic rolls about a bit, inspecting the damage]

.... Oh that? That ah... Hm. Well, you see, that is... not that big of a deal? I mean, it's not interfering with my processes. At all. Actually. I will say that it is rather painful. Just going to state that, this does hurt. But that doesn't mean that I am not working! Working fine!

Personality core. Not a ball. I'm an AI, thank you very much. Highly advanced, very technical.

[talontrot]

You sure talk a heck of a lot, but half of it is just junk. [Kazooie rolls her eyes.] I've taken on more things than you can count! This thing doesn't scare me! I'll just use Grenade Eggs. That pretty much always solves the problem.

[Yes, Kazooie is overconfident. Yes, this will be a problem eventually.]

... Doofus, "hurting" isn't "working fine" at all! It's the exact opposite of working fine!

I've met bricks that had nicer personalities than you, and at least they don't prattle on all day!

[macely]

It is not! It's very important! Observations, you know, keeping track of it all! It... it's really all highly necessary! Really! .. I mean, you don't have to pay attention to it, if you are inclined... not to. It's... it's more for me really. Un-unless you really want to hear it. Which apparently you don't. Right. ... Yes I've found blowing things up does tend to fix a lot of problems fairly quickly.

[sob and Wheatley only has fake confidence]

No, no see hurting is working fine, because it means that my pain simulator is still working. Ah ha, see? See what I did there? Right then, if the pain simulator is working, I must still, therefore, be working.

N-no! No, I have a great personality! It's a wonderful personality! I like my personality! Nobody asked you to comment on it! You didn't even have to say anything about it anyway! What is with all the insults, I didn't even do anything to you! ... Did I? ... I'm sorry!

[talontrot]

[Kazooie is just going to stare at you, Wheatley. After that entire tirade, she just sighs loudly.]

The only thing you're doing to me is boring me to death.

But, if I let you yammer on forever we're never gonna get out of here. So tell me something useful... how the heck do you get out of this "Aperture" place? I don't see any Warp Pads...