Aspasia - June - Undisclosed Location - Snapshot (I of I)
****
You've been sliding for a little over a year now. Others have noticed.
Don't listen to me, just think about it. You need to find your center again.
****
Aspasia read the rest of the message and replied almost immediately, putting no concern to how her words would be read. In this case the one receiving them knew her well enough to read the context as it was offered.
She scribbled in haste with some length, but the core of her reply was found in three sentences:
****
I have been coping with the fact I killed my lover.
With the fact that Hisa was murdered.
At my heart I am a monster - trying not to give into that natural pull that is my nightly challenge.
****
A few days passed, and Aspasia tended to other concerns. She kept vigil one night with Eoin, perching on the rock slab where Dallas’ had his last sleep, praying her shield brother would choose to wake from his rest.
She avoided the house. Did not want to deal with the few others active just now. The order was needy. With Eoin asleep and Alexander retreating from the world for an undefined time, they needed new blood and she had yet to see Totila’s recruit exhibit any notable qualities other than his blood-thirsty desire to kill Exodus’ son.
And then the reply was in her hands, and again she scanned its contents.
***
So, it's not quite a year. You've been paying attention.
***
She snorted. I have been counting the nights. Each night since his death and hers. Each night since the last I spent panting with the exertion of love-play. Each night since of denial.
Leaning against the railing, Aspasia read some more.
****
Maybe if you don't get hit with someone else you love dying you'll be alright. But what if something happens to one of us, then what? You going to count on all the kindred of the world suddenly playing nice and sharing their toys?
You need a hobby - and you can rip my face off the next time you see me - besides fucking everyone. (and no, it's not any of my business and I never said anything before and the only reason I'm saying anything now is because if that's your comfort blanket, it's not enough anymore. That and you've strayed from what is known to be your normal pool of mates).
****
With a smile and a stifled laugh, Aspasia’s eyes twinkle for an instant. Someone doesn’t like that Invictus very much.
Then her expression turns grim as she comments out loud to the empty garden. “My normal pool…” The woman shakes her head in negation, “Two dead. One who I must ask me first. And the other who I don’t wish to hurt - since he and I have hurt each other badly enough before.” Aspasia exhales. “Does everyone think me a hetaera like Exodus or Kinkaid?”
"Do they truly believe that I would bed William Talbot?" The thought stymies her. "That I would take Dominion's toy?"
Again she simply shakes her head and reads on.
***
You should see yourself every time something happens to one of us. Don't get me wrong, it's part of what makes the family strong but you let your beast take control every time. If you give your beast an inch, it'll take everything it can get - every single damned time.
…
The beast will kill you just as sure as the sun.
I don't know what else to say.
***
This reply would take greater thought.
She wandered through the greenery, avoiding the Gardener’s exclusive plots. It would not do to be attacked by carnivorous ghouled plants. Her path ended at the water’s edge, where the land gave way to the open water of the sea. Where he died.
There Aspasia composed her reply.
***
They should be worried that I stop playing nice. I haven't bedded anyone since I killed Dallas. Contrary to rumor.
If fear of what I might do keeps you safe. If they think, just that bit more and Aspasia will kill - then I am willing to let them think me on hair-trigger.
And, it won't be the beast. It will be another of our kind. Some vampire, walking now, will be the one to take my life. It's just a matter of when the fates decree it, my son.
***
She waited, and even three days later, there was no answer in return.
You've been sliding for a little over a year now. Others have noticed.
Don't listen to me, just think about it. You need to find your center again.
****
Aspasia read the rest of the message and replied almost immediately, putting no concern to how her words would be read. In this case the one receiving them knew her well enough to read the context as it was offered.
She scribbled in haste with some length, but the core of her reply was found in three sentences:
****
I have been coping with the fact I killed my lover.
With the fact that Hisa was murdered.
At my heart I am a monster - trying not to give into that natural pull that is my nightly challenge.
****
A few days passed, and Aspasia tended to other concerns. She kept vigil one night with Eoin, perching on the rock slab where Dallas’ had his last sleep, praying her shield brother would choose to wake from his rest.
She avoided the house. Did not want to deal with the few others active just now. The order was needy. With Eoin asleep and Alexander retreating from the world for an undefined time, they needed new blood and she had yet to see Totila’s recruit exhibit any notable qualities other than his blood-thirsty desire to kill Exodus’ son.
And then the reply was in her hands, and again she scanned its contents.
***
So, it's not quite a year. You've been paying attention.
***
She snorted. I have been counting the nights. Each night since his death and hers. Each night since the last I spent panting with the exertion of love-play. Each night since of denial.
Leaning against the railing, Aspasia read some more.
****
Maybe if you don't get hit with someone else you love dying you'll be alright. But what if something happens to one of us, then what? You going to count on all the kindred of the world suddenly playing nice and sharing their toys?
You need a hobby - and you can rip my face off the next time you see me - besides fucking everyone. (and no, it's not any of my business and I never said anything before and the only reason I'm saying anything now is because if that's your comfort blanket, it's not enough anymore. That and you've strayed from what is known to be your normal pool of mates).
****
With a smile and a stifled laugh, Aspasia’s eyes twinkle for an instant. Someone doesn’t like that Invictus very much.
Then her expression turns grim as she comments out loud to the empty garden. “My normal pool…” The woman shakes her head in negation, “Two dead. One who I must ask me first. And the other who I don’t wish to hurt - since he and I have hurt each other badly enough before.” Aspasia exhales. “Does everyone think me a hetaera like Exodus or Kinkaid?”
"Do they truly believe that I would bed William Talbot?" The thought stymies her. "That I would take Dominion's toy?"
Again she simply shakes her head and reads on.
***
You should see yourself every time something happens to one of us. Don't get me wrong, it's part of what makes the family strong but you let your beast take control every time. If you give your beast an inch, it'll take everything it can get - every single damned time.
…
The beast will kill you just as sure as the sun.
I don't know what else to say.
***
This reply would take greater thought.
She wandered through the greenery, avoiding the Gardener’s exclusive plots. It would not do to be attacked by carnivorous ghouled plants. Her path ended at the water’s edge, where the land gave way to the open water of the sea. Where he died.
There Aspasia composed her reply.
***
They should be worried that I stop playing nice. I haven't bedded anyone since I killed Dallas. Contrary to rumor.
If fear of what I might do keeps you safe. If they think, just that bit more and Aspasia will kill - then I am willing to let them think me on hair-trigger.
And, it won't be the beast. It will be another of our kind. Some vampire, walking now, will be the one to take my life. It's just a matter of when the fates decree it, my son.
***
She waited, and even three days later, there was no answer in return.