(Untitled)

[lucidlife]

I don't know I don't know I don't know what I'm doing. I'm trying to follow my heart I'm trying to adjust to so many changes I'm trying to find a short span of peace in my life I'm trying to work hard and to re-define myself I'm trying not to be odd or sad or distant or weird or angry I'm trying to get your attention always I'm trying not to give

Comments

[stellastar]

what are you waiting for?

[lucidlife]

I don't know. Health?

[stellastar]

i don't know how to relax either. when everyone else can just sit around, i'm up up up. moving fixing doing. doing what? anything whatever. it's like i have a lead vest on. just this year i realized this about myself. so now i recongnize.
are you really sick? or do you have a hard time dealing with routine? i don't think you have a hard time taking chances. you've moved from sf to mn that's a big change.
am i trying to prevoke you? to commiserate? both, i think.

[lucidlife]

Sympathy and the push, both are welcome.

My roomate says that I'm always wound up, and to relax. I can take a 45 minute hot bath and still be wound. I feel like my sensitivity to stimuli is too acute, but i wouldn't have it any other way.

A psychiatrist told me once that I need to 'mute my plumage'. I promptly kicked his ass. We are now lovers and he daily compliments me on my fine colorful span of feathers.

Not true but it sounds fun.

[bonitalolita]

I am sorry that you are going through a bad time in your life. I hope you find what you are looking for one day.

[lucidlife]

Not really that bad of time. I tend to post most when I am feeling like I'm overflowing with something. I should write more when I'm happy I guess.

[toastednut]

i looked out my window today and saw the hotel utah, then thought briefly of your open mic night there years ago.

[lucidlife]

I love that place. Thanks for thinking of me.

[toastednut]

it's been a long time since i've seen you!

[lucidlife]

Why don't you come visit??? :)