[Songfic] TAXI
Title: TAXI
Author: lucifertimes (Gabrielle)
Pairing: YunJae
Genre: Slight angst, romance (?)
Rating: PG
Summary: In the dark of the night, I still see you around me.
I reach out my hand, grasping your warm one as your name spills as a desperate cry from my parted lips. But as my calloused fingers tighten around the cold air of the night, I realize that it’s just another figment of my treacherous imagination that is stained by past memories.
I close my eyes so that I won’t cry, but everytime I see you, as if you’re really there, my heart merely clenches with longing and I can feel a drop of liquid trickling down my warm cheek. I can feel my own heart beating and my breath hitches as you suddenly appear everywhere. You, who are not even here, are suddenly everywhere. And even looking at the red velvet curtains of the master bedroom that we used to sleep in reminds me of how you stood there so prettily, drawing the fabric apart to let the glaring rays of the merciless Sun in.
‘Yunho…’ Your voice floats around the room, and I can see your fragile shoulders shaking as you laugh, the sound so melodious in my ears. But as my lips break into a smile, the image suddenly disappears. I stand in front of no one, and the curtains are drawn close.
My mind floats to the times when I would look into your eyes, your eyes that sparkle so much like multi-hued jewels, especially when you would wake everytime in the morning, giggling and blushing when you catch me staring at you. It had been those mornings when I thought our love would be forever. But I soon realized… that our love, my feelings, won’t come true unless I destroy your future.
I’m snapped out of my own thoughts when I hear the pendulum clock sounding noisily, indicating that the finale of the last show draws near. That one moment’s dream… it disappears so suddenly, and somehow a fear of waking up to a nightmare strikes me to the core. I wish that tonight will never end, but I know there is no escaping that small voice in the back of my head that whispers to me of the end of my last night.
After the chorus, I find myself outside of our mansion - our mansion that will become mine as time draws near. Walking down the snow-clad streets that will lead me to that one destination, I reminisce about the memories that we never had, and the memories that we would have if we had met all those times.
Your playful smile that graced your face the first time our fingers filled the spaces between the digits of the other, lingers in my head. The blinding image invades every memory that floods my mind - every memory of when the edges of your lips would tug as you turn to look at me.
My arms that are frozen by my side itch with the sudden urge to wrap around you lithe figure, you, who are not even there. And yet here I am, wishing I could just bring you into my embrace. To hug you tightly so that you won’t ever slip away from me. To hug you and look into your eyes that are no longer mine. My heart breaks for the nth time when I realize, that no matter how I wish for it at the moment, I cannot embrace you.
Yet, I still want you. I want you, to the degree that the passion just overflows and melts the glacier that envelops my heart. My heart that will stop beating once this night ends.
And you, you who without even being able to stop and make a promise, wave your hands at me for a final goodbye.