I am the truth from which you run and I control you.
I'll put it simply to those who are reading right now.
I'm disappointed in a lot of people as of late, and I'm fucking angry because of it. I have every right to be.
Dad, you're a jackass. You're a fucking coward.
You pushed me down when I was just a kid, and then kept pushing me till I bled. You'd push me further until I tried to fight back, and after wards, I realized I couldn't anymore. I was only a child, a kid. When I grew up, I was indoctrinated into thinking that this dysfunctional group of people that I was living with at the time was normal because you made me believe that.
I looked up to you, Dad. I looked up to you and I wanted to be as intelligent and as articulate as you. I wanted to be able to feel important. I wanted to be your little girl.
Instead, I was your Raggedy Ann doll. You had a few of those. Your wife was also a Raggedy Ann doll. I'd sit on the stairs watching you as you shouted some incoherent words into my mothers face and I then I'd look towards her, scared for her life. Her eyes would tremble with fear as your rage would take control of every part of you. You'd swipe at her face, and you would crush every little bit of hope she had.
She hoped that one day things would get better. She's still hoping, even after her illness has taken away everything she used to have that would come natural to you or I.
Not only have you cheated on your wife, you've cheated yourself of being a human being.
You deny everything that I say to you about what our family, if you would call it that, has been through. You deny any of the physical, mental and emotional abuse that you have brought us. You deny the small things, as well as the big things.
You put our whole family through hell, and you deny it.
Hamish. By what you're going to do, or your plans of what you want to do, you're sticking up for my coward Dad.
I'll remember you as always putting yourself first, and not actually understanding the ethical reasoning behind what you're doing to be in any, way, shape or form, wrong.
The thing that has brought me anger the most, I leave till last.
I know that some people know of me moving out of my flat recently. By doing this, I was for filling someone’s need to find a place that she calls home. For everything I have done for you, I think I've been pretty fucking reasonable about it all.
You were asking if I was okay, and no, I'm not okay.
I'm angry at you and your team of friends to be hanging out at University to tell anyone near the news. I'm angry at my ex boyfriend for being pissed off with me because of "not giving him notice", and "leaving the place a mess", and "leaving the keys with the wrong person".
On previous occasions, I had told you, Greg, that I was going to probably be moving out soon. When you told me that Nikki was going to need a place to stay, I asked you if she would have liked my room to move into. You told me that she was going to have Chris' old room, and you hoped I didn't have a problem with that.
Weeks go by with me not residing at the flat since I was getting angry with the petty things that were happening. I was still paying my rent and my food/power/phone/internet into the flat kitty account. Since I wasn't using the latter - I would of thought that the weeks I wasn't there, the food, as well as the phone, power and internet bills would be at least lowered.
But it seemed like that money that I hadn't been getting any share of in the flat account wasn't enough money's notice for you.
I had left the place a mess. I'll agree to that. Three minutes with a vacuum cleaner would have cleared that job up quite well.
Leaving with the keys with the wrong person? I had left the keys to the Nikki, the girl you had informed me about some time ago. If I had left them with her, do you assume that she is not trustworthy enough? Because other than that, I cannot see any other reason why Nikki would be the 'wrong person'.
I know I am not the easiest person to understand at times, but the things I have done for you, Sass, I hoped you would be happy about. I gave you a place to call home. I have given you a lot out of the kindness of my heart, and even though I have been too busy to catch up with you, to which I apologize, I can hardly understand why you would go around acting the way that you have.
Things haven't been the easiest for me as of late, and from my understanding, a lot of people have learnt to accept that. Those people stand up for me, and believe that I'm doing the right thing for myself.
For once, I'm speaking up. I'm fucking angry because I've been treated like shit. If it wasn't for Gold, as well as a few others telling me that the majority of things I have experienced in my lifetime are not normal, then I would have still been accepting the crap that people have decided to lay out on me.
It's all about choices. Choosing the people you care about. Choosing the ones that you want the best for.
I've done that for a lot of people, and now I'm seeing what comes out of it after a while. I'm insightful enough to figure out the people who'll take my word for someone else’s now. I know the ones to hold out for. I never had that before. People knew how to take me for a ride and I let them go right ahead because I couldn't fucking see it.
For once in my life, I feel like a lot of people actually fucking care about me. I know which ones to give my time to now.
All events, both good and bad should be embraced. In the philosophy of Lachrymology, it’s suggested that a downtime period is a way for the individual’s mind to ask itself “Why did that happen? Why did things turn out the way they did? What went wrong? How can I handle this situation should it happen at a later time?” These questions, asked mentally over time, will allow a bridge to amend in the individual’s thoughts so that they will be more “equipped” to handle such a situation later. In Lachrymology, the individual will be able to look back at the situation with contempt rather than condonation.
Lachrymology is a beautiful and novel concept. To know that even in the worst of situations, there will always be a way out. To understand that by not constructing the mental wall, a person will be able to overcome the biggest of obstacles and not be hindered emotionally. The logic and beauty of it are unmatched by any other.
How else can Lachrymology be useful? It is sort of like being between a rock and a hard time, then someone saying “Don’t fret, it can always be worse.” And that’s the reality of things. It helps to accept that not one person knows how deep the rabbit hole can really go. Quite often, individual’s feel that their problems will end up being much worse than they really are, which can cause a setback to that individual. If the individual accepts that not everything will always go their way, they’ll understand that there’s also a chance that an event that seems all wrong can turn around and go all right. It’s all about the philosophical viewpoint.
The paths that each individual takes in their life will eventually lead them to a cross-road where they must choose which road to take, even if it’s to sacrifice something they cherish. Lachrymology tends to lean towards the idea of embracing the sacrifice that was made, so the individual will find contempt instead of disgust when the time comes to make a similar decision later on in their life.
To have Lachrymology coexist in the world is to help the process of human evolution. Philosophically, the supporting idea of Lachrymology is that it is best for individuals to evolve. In the best light, should all humans have the chance to mentally evolve and flourish in new ideas, it is possible to see the world with a total make over.
To be able to take on and accept the events that are inevitable, then walk out of them alive and well is Lachrymology.
I'm disappointed in a lot of people as of late, and I'm fucking angry because of it. I have every right to be.
Dad, you're a jackass. You're a fucking coward.
You pushed me down when I was just a kid, and then kept pushing me till I bled. You'd push me further until I tried to fight back, and after wards, I realized I couldn't anymore. I was only a child, a kid. When I grew up, I was indoctrinated into thinking that this dysfunctional group of people that I was living with at the time was normal because you made me believe that.
I looked up to you, Dad. I looked up to you and I wanted to be as intelligent and as articulate as you. I wanted to be able to feel important. I wanted to be your little girl.
Instead, I was your Raggedy Ann doll. You had a few of those. Your wife was also a Raggedy Ann doll. I'd sit on the stairs watching you as you shouted some incoherent words into my mothers face and I then I'd look towards her, scared for her life. Her eyes would tremble with fear as your rage would take control of every part of you. You'd swipe at her face, and you would crush every little bit of hope she had.
She hoped that one day things would get better. She's still hoping, even after her illness has taken away everything she used to have that would come natural to you or I.
Not only have you cheated on your wife, you've cheated yourself of being a human being.
You deny everything that I say to you about what our family, if you would call it that, has been through. You deny any of the physical, mental and emotional abuse that you have brought us. You deny the small things, as well as the big things.
You put our whole family through hell, and you deny it.
Hamish. By what you're going to do, or your plans of what you want to do, you're sticking up for my coward Dad.
I'll remember you as always putting yourself first, and not actually understanding the ethical reasoning behind what you're doing to be in any, way, shape or form, wrong.
The thing that has brought me anger the most, I leave till last.
I know that some people know of me moving out of my flat recently. By doing this, I was for filling someone’s need to find a place that she calls home. For everything I have done for you, I think I've been pretty fucking reasonable about it all.
You were asking if I was okay, and no, I'm not okay.
I'm angry at you and your team of friends to be hanging out at University to tell anyone near the news. I'm angry at my ex boyfriend for being pissed off with me because of "not giving him notice", and "leaving the place a mess", and "leaving the keys with the wrong person".
On previous occasions, I had told you, Greg, that I was going to probably be moving out soon. When you told me that Nikki was going to need a place to stay, I asked you if she would have liked my room to move into. You told me that she was going to have Chris' old room, and you hoped I didn't have a problem with that.
Weeks go by with me not residing at the flat since I was getting angry with the petty things that were happening. I was still paying my rent and my food/power/phone/internet into the flat kitty account. Since I wasn't using the latter - I would of thought that the weeks I wasn't there, the food, as well as the phone, power and internet bills would be at least lowered.
But it seemed like that money that I hadn't been getting any share of in the flat account wasn't enough money's notice for you.
I had left the place a mess. I'll agree to that. Three minutes with a vacuum cleaner would have cleared that job up quite well.
Leaving with the keys with the wrong person? I had left the keys to the Nikki, the girl you had informed me about some time ago. If I had left them with her, do you assume that she is not trustworthy enough? Because other than that, I cannot see any other reason why Nikki would be the 'wrong person'.
I know I am not the easiest person to understand at times, but the things I have done for you, Sass, I hoped you would be happy about. I gave you a place to call home. I have given you a lot out of the kindness of my heart, and even though I have been too busy to catch up with you, to which I apologize, I can hardly understand why you would go around acting the way that you have.
Things haven't been the easiest for me as of late, and from my understanding, a lot of people have learnt to accept that. Those people stand up for me, and believe that I'm doing the right thing for myself.
For once, I'm speaking up. I'm fucking angry because I've been treated like shit. If it wasn't for Gold, as well as a few others telling me that the majority of things I have experienced in my lifetime are not normal, then I would have still been accepting the crap that people have decided to lay out on me.
It's all about choices. Choosing the people you care about. Choosing the ones that you want the best for.
I've done that for a lot of people, and now I'm seeing what comes out of it after a while. I'm insightful enough to figure out the people who'll take my word for someone else’s now. I know the ones to hold out for. I never had that before. People knew how to take me for a ride and I let them go right ahead because I couldn't fucking see it.
For once in my life, I feel like a lot of people actually fucking care about me. I know which ones to give my time to now.
All events, both good and bad should be embraced. In the philosophy of Lachrymology, it’s suggested that a downtime period is a way for the individual’s mind to ask itself “Why did that happen? Why did things turn out the way they did? What went wrong? How can I handle this situation should it happen at a later time?” These questions, asked mentally over time, will allow a bridge to amend in the individual’s thoughts so that they will be more “equipped” to handle such a situation later. In Lachrymology, the individual will be able to look back at the situation with contempt rather than condonation.
Lachrymology is a beautiful and novel concept. To know that even in the worst of situations, there will always be a way out. To understand that by not constructing the mental wall, a person will be able to overcome the biggest of obstacles and not be hindered emotionally. The logic and beauty of it are unmatched by any other.
How else can Lachrymology be useful? It is sort of like being between a rock and a hard time, then someone saying “Don’t fret, it can always be worse.” And that’s the reality of things. It helps to accept that not one person knows how deep the rabbit hole can really go. Quite often, individual’s feel that their problems will end up being much worse than they really are, which can cause a setback to that individual. If the individual accepts that not everything will always go their way, they’ll understand that there’s also a chance that an event that seems all wrong can turn around and go all right. It’s all about the philosophical viewpoint.
The paths that each individual takes in their life will eventually lead them to a cross-road where they must choose which road to take, even if it’s to sacrifice something they cherish. Lachrymology tends to lean towards the idea of embracing the sacrifice that was made, so the individual will find contempt instead of disgust when the time comes to make a similar decision later on in their life.
To have Lachrymology coexist in the world is to help the process of human evolution. Philosophically, the supporting idea of Lachrymology is that it is best for individuals to evolve. In the best light, should all humans have the chance to mentally evolve and flourish in new ideas, it is possible to see the world with a total make over.
To be able to take on and accept the events that are inevitable, then walk out of them alive and well is Lachrymology.