Magic Gone Wrong! Chapter 16
Title: Magic Gone Wrong!
Chapter: 16/18
Previous Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four 1, Four 2, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen 1, Fourteen 2, Fifteen Part 1, Fifteen Part 2
Alternate Links: AO3, AFF
Authors:
lucklessmallory and
chinesethorn
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: LeexGaara
Summary: Tentacles, ftw?! Gaara is a sorcerer outside of the small town where Lee works as a smith. When Lee sits in on one of Gaara's ritual summonings, something starts to go terribly wrong...
~*~*~*~
AN: *sigh* Post too large. Link to the second part at the end.
“Gaara, hold on for a second!” Lee called as he jogged over soft sand. It was hard to get a foothold over the sand mixed in with trees and grass. He finally caught up to the other man when they came to clusters of trees where he grasped Gaara’s elbow. “Gaara-” He moved in front of the other and stepped to block his way.
“What do you want?” Gaara didn’t bother looking at Lee’s face, focusing instead on the curve of his collar bone in the dim light of the moon. Gaara’s hands hung limply from his sides, and his expression was unreadable beyond the slight raise of his bare brow.
Lee exhaled heavily and eased his hold on Gaara’s arm. His body felt strange, as if the demon’s long possession of it had changed it somehow. All that had happened between him and Gaara, and all that hadn’t been said weighed down on him on top of that. “You are upset," he said simply, trying to catch Gaara’s eyes despite his own feelings.
“So are you.” Gaara’s voice was flat and factual. He glanced down at Lee’s hand on his arm, then shrugged it off and took a small step back.
“Tell me, Lee,” Gaara said, his eyes lingering across the collar of Lee’s shirt and the small dip of flesh in the hollow of his throat. “If you could be rid of the demon tonight, would you do it? If you had the chance to be a free man again, would you take it? Do you hate being possessed that much?”
Lee’s face clouded over, shadows partially covering his eyes. He couldn’t read anything on Gaara’s face, and his questions sounded like a trap waiting to be sprung. “That is not a fair question," he said with a subdued voice. “You know I would. It was not something I wanted in the first place.”
“Of course you would. And then you would go to the city and live happy and peaceful as a smithy, without complications like me in your life.” Gaara’s fingers flexed. Overhead, a thin and distant cloud slid in front of the dim moon, casting darkness in patches across the redhead’s face. “I’m not a dimwit, Lee. I’m aware that the demon has been amplifying your attraction toward me. I’ve even used that factor when I’ve wanted to get my way.”
“What?” Cold settled in his stomach with Lee staring at Gaara and a sick twist in his chest. “What are you saying? My feelings for you have nothing to do with the demon.” A knot formed between his brows as he stepped forward and reached for Gaara’s hand. “Please tell me that you do not believe that. I never thought of you as a complication.” The smith was never good at hiding his emotions, and Gaara’s words only amplified the distress he felt.
Gaara pulled his hand out of reach and finally looked up at Lee's face with a scowl, setting his jaw as he spoke. “You would have never touched me for the first time if the demon hadn’t been goading you into it. You might have been attracted to me before, but our bond would have never grown if you hadn’t gained the demon. We would have been nothing more than acquaintances, only seeing each other when I commissioned you for repairs or sold potions at the market. The demon is the only thing that binds us together, and you hate that connection, don’t you? It just weighs you down, holds you back from doing what you want to do.”
By now Gaara’s breath was coming a fraction sharper. His hands formed fists and he started to turn away. “I need some space. I didn’t want you to follow me here.”
Lee’s lips thinned at the accusations, even if they held a note of truth. “You do not know what I want.” He swallowed thickly, hand falling back to his side and his voice an unfamiliar quiet tone. “Even before the demon possessed me, I always thought of you as my friend. It turned into something more when I started living with you. I was mistaken to think you felt the same, but I cannot believe you think that everything we shared was just because of the demon!”
He placed both hands on Gaara’s shoulders, hyperaware of the pulse running through his veins and the rustle of trees and sand around them. “Do not turn away from me, please. Do you think I would stay with you if I did not care about you? If the demon is all that is holding me back, I would have gone off to find a way to cast it out a long time ago. It is only because you needed its power that I could still live with it inside me. I cannot even remember a time when you valued me over your quest for power.”
Gaara held still for a few seconds, before slowly facing Lee again. This was turning into a conversation he couldn’t simply walk away from. He almost wanted to try escaping anyway, shielding himself from the smith and spending the night on his own to center himself and regain the usual unfaltering control that characterized him. Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to walk away.
“You know this quest is important, Lee. Shukaku must die.” Gaara’s breath wavered briefly and he couldn’t bring his eyes to return to Lee’s face. His hands came up to hold Lee’s wrists. “I would never let the demon take real, total control of you. Even if it meant that I would be stronger if I told the demon to stay in control, you are the person I want to be here with.” Gaara’s grip tightened. “If I stopped needing power from the demon, what would happen? You wouldn’t have a reason to stay anymore.”
“Gods, Gaara, what more do you want me to do?” Lee shook his head, bangs brushing over his forehead as he pulled a hand free to slide over his face wearily. “Listen to me when I say I am here because I love you. I took a demon for you because you were my friend, and yes, it was the demon that pushed me to finally pursue you, but that does not mean I would not have done so otherwise! Here I am here traveling with you to kill your former master, even if I do not believe in murder!”
He shook Gaara’s shoulder in frustration. “You cannot even look me in the eye right now. Do not tell me it is just the demon making me stay, when you have always shown your willingness to sacrifice me for power every chance you get.”
Gaara’s eyes shot up in a glare at the small shake. Static electricity crackled dangerously in his hair, and his hands hummed with temperamental power. “You don’t know anything. You don’t know what power means for someone like me. It means being able to protect what’s important to me, being able to save the people I care about without fail, and having the freedom to do whatever I want to in my life, because no one can stop me. You wouldn’t understand.”
A patch appeared between the clouds above, illuminating the deep emerald of Gaara’s eyes unnaturally, adding a blazing air to his demeanor. “Tomorrow when we face Shukaku, I am going to keep his attentions on me throughout the fight. Even if he tries to single you out and stop your attack, I’m going to step in the way, no matter the cost. Is that enough sacrifice for you?”
The grip Gaara had on Lee’s arm led a shot of electricity shooting up his limb just as their conversation snowballed. He met Gaara’s heated stare with his own, his pupils expanding dangerously. “No, it is not. I do not want either of us to die tomorrow to satisfy your need for revenge. And no, I do not understand. What good is power if you drive away the very people you care about? The only reason no one can stop you is because you isolate yourself and push away anyone who tries to get close.”
Lee’s nostrils were flaring as his breath quickened. Fighting with Gaara hadn’t been his intention when we went after him, but sugarcoating his true feelings would help no one. “I wish you would stop being so selfish for one second and think. The moment Shukaku dies, you will still want more power. You want me with you because the demon is your tool for that. You do not care about me or what I want to achieve, or my feelings for you. You would drop me the moment you found someone who can give you more power, the way you left me to die on the floor like a dog.”
“That’s not true,” Gaara hissed sharply, but his eyes flinched at the reminder of Lee’s return with the chimera. The steady, strong sense of calculative calm that the sorcerer tried to always wrap around himself like a shield was cracking. “That- that isn’t- fuck.”
Gaara scowled and pinched the bridge between his eyes tightly, struggling to rein himself back in. His power was swelling dangerously close to the surface, threatening to lash out in a small fit of anger and frustration, as well as hurt that he would never, ever admit to. “You’re my friend, Lee. I can’t for the love of God remember why right now, but you are. If I could cast away the demon, I would still be possessive of you and want to drag you along with me. But that’s not enough for you, is it? You want me to let you stay in that stupid city for hell-knows how long as an apprentice, when you haven’t even seen the rest of the world to compare.” Gaara’s free hand came up to grip the front of Lee’s shirt, his fist tightening enough to make the fabric strain tight against Lee’s strong chest. “How can you say that I would cast you aside when I can’t stand letting go of you for that?”
Something unwound in Lee with the honesty he could hear in the sorcerer’s words and the tight knot on the bridge of his nose. It felt like they hadn’t had an open conversation like this since leaving their town. Lee’s breath hitched from Gaara’s grip on his shirt, his eyes searching Gaara’s face. “That is just it. You are my closest friend, more than anyone else. The demon never bothered me as much as it could have because you made living with it bearable.” He clenched his teeth, shutting his eyes briefly to collect himself the way Gaara always seemed to do so easily. “But you treat me like I am just a vessel, or someone you can have sex with whenever you want to. You do not listen when I share my dreams with you. You would rather I just fuck you without emotion."
He clasped Gaara's hand on his shirt and pressed it tight against his chest. "I am lonely, Gaara. What else can I do to have you care about me?"
Gaara’s brows furrowed and his mouth opened as his mind struggled to find the right words. Frustration made the static in his hair crackle briefly as his eyes moved back and forth between Lee’s earnest eyes and their hands over the man’s chest.
“I care,” he murmured, voice thick. He swallowed, trying to clear the heavy lump in his throat unsuccessfully. “I already do. I... I didn't mean to. I didn’t want to- to care about you like this, I just couldn’t help it. I just wanted to take care of you and keep control of the demon, but you kept saying things and looking at me.” Gaara’s eyes rose blindly. “Naruto never even looked at me like you do. It makes me feel things that are powerful, and raw, and dangerous, and I don’t like it. I can’t control myself when you do this to me and I hate that. I’m supposed to always have control and you keep taking it away from me.”
Gaara’s fist against Lee’s chest and his free hand began to hum distantly. He should have pulled away and calmed himself, reigned in his magic quickly, but instead he found himself pulling closer. He set his jaw in frustration and looked down, breathing thickly.
Magic ran through Lee's body from Gaara's hands, sending a familiar current that brought a shiver up his spine. He wanted more than just knowing that Gaara was similarly burdened about his feelings as he was. But he knew Gaara. They couldn't resolve this while he had his mind dead set on Shukaku.
He exhaled silently and dared to raise Gaara's fist to his lips, murmuring against the skin of his knuckles. "I do not want to push you into anything you do not want... Master Gaara. I did not expect to feel this way about you either." Leaning forward, he clasped the back of Gaara's neck and bowed his head to press his forehead against the sorcerer's trying to meet his gaze again. "When we have killed your former master, would you work whatever is between us with me?"
Gaara shuddered, feeling Lee’s body through his magic as the power stretched for the smith with possessive hunger. Lee’s heartbeat was just as strong and solid as when the sorcerer had first examined him in the mansion, and Gaara focused on that now. He counted the beats, matched his breaths to Lee’s, and could hear the smith’s blood rushing in his ears like a living echo. He wanted to grasp Lee, possess him, be in every part of the smith’s strong body and soul. Surely feelings like these were too strong? He shouldn’t be allowing himself to want this. Not right now, he had too much to achieve in his life without tying himself down to one other person.
Slowly, Gaara rolled his forehead against Lee’s in a nod. He licked his dry lips and swallowed with another shudder. “Yes. We’ll... work on it, after. Stay here with me for a moment while I calm myself.” Gaara shuddered again, and gripped Lee’s side with his free hand, just gripping the other while he focused on breath and heart beats.
With Gaara’s assent, a faint smile finally tugged on Lee’s lips. It was enough to have Gaara promise this to ease the weight in his chest no matter if there were things left unresolved. “I am here," he said, stroking the nape of the redhead’s neck and lending his strength and apologies to the connection humming between them.
When they faced Shukaku tomorrow, they could afford no distraction from the quest. Lee vowed to set aside his issues with Gaara until his old master took his last breath.
Gaara almost wanted to keep arguing with Lee, to maintain that intensity and conflicting passion between the two, since it was the first time since they’d begun their journey that he felt this connected to Lee. He knew that was foolish however, and allowed Lee’s influence between their bodies to help him relax. The frustration and static in his hair finally wilted just a few moments later, and he was content to feel his face against Lee’s with closed eyes.
The next morning was an early one for the three men. By the time the sunlight had first peered over the edge of the flat desert horizon, they’d already re-packed their camp and prepared for the day ahead. Naruto had even spent some time meditating and collecting sagely power from the natural elements around him while Lee and Gaara dealt with the horses. Lee’s gremlin, which had become quite talented at staying out of everyone’s way until now, was riding on the smith’s shoulder and tugging on his hair. The little creature was obviously spooked by the tension in the air as the men readied themselves for the coming fight. It squeaked nervously each time Lee moved too suddenly and kept pawing at his cheek.
“Do not be nervous, my friend! We will be home before you know it.” Lee assured the imp as he finished tying the leather guards on his arms. The demon was awake and watchful behind deceiving soft brown eyes but it had already masked its presence. Glancing over at Gaara, he urged his horse forward and clasped the sorcerer’s arm. They would need to stick together for Naruto and Gaara to keep the horses invisible to Shukaku, and that fact alone brought front the reality of their quest. “Are you ready?” he asked in a hushed voice, unconsciously rubbing his thumb over the leather covering Gaara’s arm.
“Yes. It’s time," Gaara replied simply. He ran his fingers over Lee’s briefly without expression. Gaara glanced at the soft tone in Lee’s face from the corner of his eye as he shifted in his saddle. He lifted his chin to the imp. “You’ll want to leave him with the horses when you and Naruto separate from me on foot. He’ll either be in the way or get hurt.”
“I added my power to the cloaking barrier," Naruto piped up from Gaara’s other side, oblivious to the other’s hushed words. “I tried to sense your demon, Lee, but I couldn’t find anything, even though I knew what I was looking for. It should work until we’re noticed.”
Lee nodded at Naruto and flashed a thumbs up. “Alright. We will flank you on the sides until then," he told Gaara as they finally guided their horses towards the desert.
“According to your map, there are only a few hiding places here, but they’re far and scarce enough to make him hard to find.” Naruto said. “Watch out for false leads. He’ll probably use his followers as fucking body barriers and traps.” With the warning said, he tucked his mouth guard over his face just as the other two did, their party setting out across the sandy landscape.
It was hot. The sun had been pounding down on the desert air all day, ruthless and powerful with heat. For the past hour, Gaara had been trudging on foot under the sun. The hot air mere feet away wavered across his vision, and his lashes were heavy above his dry eyes. Sweltering beads of sweat crawled down the back of Gaara’s neck and bellow the collar of his thin shirt. All was silent in the heat aside from the sorcerer’s lonely footsteps across the rough sand.
Gaara’s gaze flickered and his feet stopped as he approached the top of a tall dune. In the edge of his vision he’d seen something shifting, rustling the sand unnaturally. He almost would have thought it was a trick of the heat, if the sweat across his body had not suddenly gone cold with instinct. He paused, then climbed the last few steps to the top of the dune and his eyes widened at what he found.
It was a chasm in the middle of the desert. Jagged edges dropped down to an impossible depth while sand simply flowed down or away from it. Around the hole, bodies littered the sandy ground, half-buried with their skin and muscles rubbed raw by sand until their bones showed. The wind sounded like whispers echoing against the hissing sand.
The only visible way down was a raised platform that spiraled steeply down the hole. With the power throbbing down in the darkness, there was little doubt that this was where Shukaku lay in wait. Lee and Naruto were going around the path Gaara was on, and wouldn't be of help until Shukaku showed himself. Gaara would need to lure his former master out.
Gaara licked his dry lips, sensing the pulse of evil and power so thick in the air. He slowly crossed his arms, a habitual gesture as he focused on being alert and ready for anything. He’d been hiding his presence until now, remaining subtle and undetected until he reached this place. Now though, he was sure that Shukaku could sense him, no matter the barriers he placed. This was his old master’s territory.
Taking a deep breath, Gaara opened the field that had been blocking his magic from view. He allowed himself to be seen, for any who tried to taste the power stored deep in his intangible soul, power rich with the chimera’s sacrifice and the sources gathered over the years. His power was like a furnace that had suddenly been lit in the center of an endless void of darkness. Gaara’s hearing perked, and over the rustling of the sand in the wind he could hear the slow, clipping steps of Shukaku as the old man rose up along the platform steps.
Shukaku had aged drastically since Gaara last saw him. Bald, shriveled with a darkness in his eyes that twisted his features, the sorcerer nudged aside the few bodies littering his path until they fell into the chasm. “Finally, you’re here. I’ve been waiting long enough," he said, his voice surprisingly strong despite his body’s appearance. Sand billowed against Shukaku’s robes and seemed to follow the bony curves of his wrists and fingers.
He stepped on a skull with a huff of contempt. He didn’t seem to care that Gaara was there with murderous intent, instead treating him like this was just another lecture. “These fools tried to give themselves worth by being my followers, but they forgot in the end that their desires came at a price. Now they’re part of something greater, just as I always taught you to aim for.”
Gaara’s eyes flickered across his old master’s decrepit body, conveying no emotion or thought as he remained on his guard. His arms were tight across his chest. “Yes, they have definitely contributed to something large and powerful. But your power is corrupt; you cannot contain it any longer. You will die soon, Shukaku.” He tilted his head pointedly in gesture toward Shukaku’s pathetic, shriveled frame. “Your body is decaying.”
Gaara didn’t pause, didn’t hesitate before flaring a rush of consuming, fiery energy. He enveloped the old sorcerer in it, attempting to burn his body and dissolve anything left. It was not the most powerful attack possible, but it was formidable nonetheless. It was a test, and they both knew it.
Shukaku didn’t even bother dodging it, letting the fires singe his clothes indifferently until a wave of sand rose up and absorbed the flames with each grain glittering hot. The old man began to step towards Gaara, cocking his head at his old pupil. “Enough tricks. You’ve come all this way to kill me, but the force you’ve gathered is no less corrupt as mine.
“Do you know what I trained you for?” Shukaku’s hands raised simultaneously. The very sand under Gaara’s feet began to slither and move. Around them, the dunes were rising higher and higher, arching up into a cracked dome. “You were to be my successor until the day you gained morals. It was a mistake to let you learn from the sage’s boy. Your potential is still there, but maybe you would do better as another sacrifice.”
Gaara recognized the insatiable, vile hunger in Shukaku’s black eyes as the old man stepped closer. “You would never have let me succeed you. You never planned to die. What power is there for you to pass on when you can never let it go to begin with?”
The words were almost spoken to himself, because Gaara knew that Shukaku was already beyond talking to. He unfolded his arms and raised them, gathering his own power in a blaze of static electricity. Seemingly appearing from thin air, Naruto became visible along the chasm’s edge several paces behind Shukaku. The blonde gave a shout with the rush of battle and swirling spikes of energy gathered around his palm, which he raised and threw at Shukaku with a running start. Gaara could feel Lee not far off as well. The redhead added his power to Naruto’s and aimed for his old master’s crooked heart.
Link to second part.
Chapter: 16/18
Previous Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four 1, Four 2, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen 1, Fourteen 2, Fifteen Part 1, Fifteen Part 2
Alternate Links: AO3, AFF
Authors:
lucklessmallory and
chinesethorn
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: LeexGaara
Summary: Tentacles, ftw?! Gaara is a sorcerer outside of the small town where Lee works as a smith. When Lee sits in on one of Gaara's ritual summonings, something starts to go terribly wrong...
~*~*~*~
AN: *sigh* Post too large. Link to the second part at the end.
“Gaara, hold on for a second!” Lee called as he jogged over soft sand. It was hard to get a foothold over the sand mixed in with trees and grass. He finally caught up to the other man when they came to clusters of trees where he grasped Gaara’s elbow. “Gaara-” He moved in front of the other and stepped to block his way.
“What do you want?” Gaara didn’t bother looking at Lee’s face, focusing instead on the curve of his collar bone in the dim light of the moon. Gaara’s hands hung limply from his sides, and his expression was unreadable beyond the slight raise of his bare brow.
Lee exhaled heavily and eased his hold on Gaara’s arm. His body felt strange, as if the demon’s long possession of it had changed it somehow. All that had happened between him and Gaara, and all that hadn’t been said weighed down on him on top of that. “You are upset," he said simply, trying to catch Gaara’s eyes despite his own feelings.
“So are you.” Gaara’s voice was flat and factual. He glanced down at Lee’s hand on his arm, then shrugged it off and took a small step back.
“Tell me, Lee,” Gaara said, his eyes lingering across the collar of Lee’s shirt and the small dip of flesh in the hollow of his throat. “If you could be rid of the demon tonight, would you do it? If you had the chance to be a free man again, would you take it? Do you hate being possessed that much?”
Lee’s face clouded over, shadows partially covering his eyes. He couldn’t read anything on Gaara’s face, and his questions sounded like a trap waiting to be sprung. “That is not a fair question," he said with a subdued voice. “You know I would. It was not something I wanted in the first place.”
“Of course you would. And then you would go to the city and live happy and peaceful as a smithy, without complications like me in your life.” Gaara’s fingers flexed. Overhead, a thin and distant cloud slid in front of the dim moon, casting darkness in patches across the redhead’s face. “I’m not a dimwit, Lee. I’m aware that the demon has been amplifying your attraction toward me. I’ve even used that factor when I’ve wanted to get my way.”
“What?” Cold settled in his stomach with Lee staring at Gaara and a sick twist in his chest. “What are you saying? My feelings for you have nothing to do with the demon.” A knot formed between his brows as he stepped forward and reached for Gaara’s hand. “Please tell me that you do not believe that. I never thought of you as a complication.” The smith was never good at hiding his emotions, and Gaara’s words only amplified the distress he felt.
Gaara pulled his hand out of reach and finally looked up at Lee's face with a scowl, setting his jaw as he spoke. “You would have never touched me for the first time if the demon hadn’t been goading you into it. You might have been attracted to me before, but our bond would have never grown if you hadn’t gained the demon. We would have been nothing more than acquaintances, only seeing each other when I commissioned you for repairs or sold potions at the market. The demon is the only thing that binds us together, and you hate that connection, don’t you? It just weighs you down, holds you back from doing what you want to do.”
By now Gaara’s breath was coming a fraction sharper. His hands formed fists and he started to turn away. “I need some space. I didn’t want you to follow me here.”
Lee’s lips thinned at the accusations, even if they held a note of truth. “You do not know what I want.” He swallowed thickly, hand falling back to his side and his voice an unfamiliar quiet tone. “Even before the demon possessed me, I always thought of you as my friend. It turned into something more when I started living with you. I was mistaken to think you felt the same, but I cannot believe you think that everything we shared was just because of the demon!”
He placed both hands on Gaara’s shoulders, hyperaware of the pulse running through his veins and the rustle of trees and sand around them. “Do not turn away from me, please. Do you think I would stay with you if I did not care about you? If the demon is all that is holding me back, I would have gone off to find a way to cast it out a long time ago. It is only because you needed its power that I could still live with it inside me. I cannot even remember a time when you valued me over your quest for power.”
Gaara held still for a few seconds, before slowly facing Lee again. This was turning into a conversation he couldn’t simply walk away from. He almost wanted to try escaping anyway, shielding himself from the smith and spending the night on his own to center himself and regain the usual unfaltering control that characterized him. Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to walk away.
“You know this quest is important, Lee. Shukaku must die.” Gaara’s breath wavered briefly and he couldn’t bring his eyes to return to Lee’s face. His hands came up to hold Lee’s wrists. “I would never let the demon take real, total control of you. Even if it meant that I would be stronger if I told the demon to stay in control, you are the person I want to be here with.” Gaara’s grip tightened. “If I stopped needing power from the demon, what would happen? You wouldn’t have a reason to stay anymore.”
“Gods, Gaara, what more do you want me to do?” Lee shook his head, bangs brushing over his forehead as he pulled a hand free to slide over his face wearily. “Listen to me when I say I am here because I love you. I took a demon for you because you were my friend, and yes, it was the demon that pushed me to finally pursue you, but that does not mean I would not have done so otherwise! Here I am here traveling with you to kill your former master, even if I do not believe in murder!”
He shook Gaara’s shoulder in frustration. “You cannot even look me in the eye right now. Do not tell me it is just the demon making me stay, when you have always shown your willingness to sacrifice me for power every chance you get.”
Gaara’s eyes shot up in a glare at the small shake. Static electricity crackled dangerously in his hair, and his hands hummed with temperamental power. “You don’t know anything. You don’t know what power means for someone like me. It means being able to protect what’s important to me, being able to save the people I care about without fail, and having the freedom to do whatever I want to in my life, because no one can stop me. You wouldn’t understand.”
A patch appeared between the clouds above, illuminating the deep emerald of Gaara’s eyes unnaturally, adding a blazing air to his demeanor. “Tomorrow when we face Shukaku, I am going to keep his attentions on me throughout the fight. Even if he tries to single you out and stop your attack, I’m going to step in the way, no matter the cost. Is that enough sacrifice for you?”
The grip Gaara had on Lee’s arm led a shot of electricity shooting up his limb just as their conversation snowballed. He met Gaara’s heated stare with his own, his pupils expanding dangerously. “No, it is not. I do not want either of us to die tomorrow to satisfy your need for revenge. And no, I do not understand. What good is power if you drive away the very people you care about? The only reason no one can stop you is because you isolate yourself and push away anyone who tries to get close.”
Lee’s nostrils were flaring as his breath quickened. Fighting with Gaara hadn’t been his intention when we went after him, but sugarcoating his true feelings would help no one. “I wish you would stop being so selfish for one second and think. The moment Shukaku dies, you will still want more power. You want me with you because the demon is your tool for that. You do not care about me or what I want to achieve, or my feelings for you. You would drop me the moment you found someone who can give you more power, the way you left me to die on the floor like a dog.”
“That’s not true,” Gaara hissed sharply, but his eyes flinched at the reminder of Lee’s return with the chimera. The steady, strong sense of calculative calm that the sorcerer tried to always wrap around himself like a shield was cracking. “That- that isn’t- fuck.”
Gaara scowled and pinched the bridge between his eyes tightly, struggling to rein himself back in. His power was swelling dangerously close to the surface, threatening to lash out in a small fit of anger and frustration, as well as hurt that he would never, ever admit to. “You’re my friend, Lee. I can’t for the love of God remember why right now, but you are. If I could cast away the demon, I would still be possessive of you and want to drag you along with me. But that’s not enough for you, is it? You want me to let you stay in that stupid city for hell-knows how long as an apprentice, when you haven’t even seen the rest of the world to compare.” Gaara’s free hand came up to grip the front of Lee’s shirt, his fist tightening enough to make the fabric strain tight against Lee’s strong chest. “How can you say that I would cast you aside when I can’t stand letting go of you for that?”
Something unwound in Lee with the honesty he could hear in the sorcerer’s words and the tight knot on the bridge of his nose. It felt like they hadn’t had an open conversation like this since leaving their town. Lee’s breath hitched from Gaara’s grip on his shirt, his eyes searching Gaara’s face. “That is just it. You are my closest friend, more than anyone else. The demon never bothered me as much as it could have because you made living with it bearable.” He clenched his teeth, shutting his eyes briefly to collect himself the way Gaara always seemed to do so easily. “But you treat me like I am just a vessel, or someone you can have sex with whenever you want to. You do not listen when I share my dreams with you. You would rather I just fuck you without emotion."
He clasped Gaara's hand on his shirt and pressed it tight against his chest. "I am lonely, Gaara. What else can I do to have you care about me?"
Gaara’s brows furrowed and his mouth opened as his mind struggled to find the right words. Frustration made the static in his hair crackle briefly as his eyes moved back and forth between Lee’s earnest eyes and their hands over the man’s chest.
“I care,” he murmured, voice thick. He swallowed, trying to clear the heavy lump in his throat unsuccessfully. “I already do. I... I didn't mean to. I didn’t want to- to care about you like this, I just couldn’t help it. I just wanted to take care of you and keep control of the demon, but you kept saying things and looking at me.” Gaara’s eyes rose blindly. “Naruto never even looked at me like you do. It makes me feel things that are powerful, and raw, and dangerous, and I don’t like it. I can’t control myself when you do this to me and I hate that. I’m supposed to always have control and you keep taking it away from me.”
Gaara’s fist against Lee’s chest and his free hand began to hum distantly. He should have pulled away and calmed himself, reigned in his magic quickly, but instead he found himself pulling closer. He set his jaw in frustration and looked down, breathing thickly.
Magic ran through Lee's body from Gaara's hands, sending a familiar current that brought a shiver up his spine. He wanted more than just knowing that Gaara was similarly burdened about his feelings as he was. But he knew Gaara. They couldn't resolve this while he had his mind dead set on Shukaku.
He exhaled silently and dared to raise Gaara's fist to his lips, murmuring against the skin of his knuckles. "I do not want to push you into anything you do not want... Master Gaara. I did not expect to feel this way about you either." Leaning forward, he clasped the back of Gaara's neck and bowed his head to press his forehead against the sorcerer's trying to meet his gaze again. "When we have killed your former master, would you work whatever is between us with me?"
Gaara shuddered, feeling Lee’s body through his magic as the power stretched for the smith with possessive hunger. Lee’s heartbeat was just as strong and solid as when the sorcerer had first examined him in the mansion, and Gaara focused on that now. He counted the beats, matched his breaths to Lee’s, and could hear the smith’s blood rushing in his ears like a living echo. He wanted to grasp Lee, possess him, be in every part of the smith’s strong body and soul. Surely feelings like these were too strong? He shouldn’t be allowing himself to want this. Not right now, he had too much to achieve in his life without tying himself down to one other person.
Slowly, Gaara rolled his forehead against Lee’s in a nod. He licked his dry lips and swallowed with another shudder. “Yes. We’ll... work on it, after. Stay here with me for a moment while I calm myself.” Gaara shuddered again, and gripped Lee’s side with his free hand, just gripping the other while he focused on breath and heart beats.
With Gaara’s assent, a faint smile finally tugged on Lee’s lips. It was enough to have Gaara promise this to ease the weight in his chest no matter if there were things left unresolved. “I am here," he said, stroking the nape of the redhead’s neck and lending his strength and apologies to the connection humming between them.
When they faced Shukaku tomorrow, they could afford no distraction from the quest. Lee vowed to set aside his issues with Gaara until his old master took his last breath.
Gaara almost wanted to keep arguing with Lee, to maintain that intensity and conflicting passion between the two, since it was the first time since they’d begun their journey that he felt this connected to Lee. He knew that was foolish however, and allowed Lee’s influence between their bodies to help him relax. The frustration and static in his hair finally wilted just a few moments later, and he was content to feel his face against Lee’s with closed eyes.
The next morning was an early one for the three men. By the time the sunlight had first peered over the edge of the flat desert horizon, they’d already re-packed their camp and prepared for the day ahead. Naruto had even spent some time meditating and collecting sagely power from the natural elements around him while Lee and Gaara dealt with the horses. Lee’s gremlin, which had become quite talented at staying out of everyone’s way until now, was riding on the smith’s shoulder and tugging on his hair. The little creature was obviously spooked by the tension in the air as the men readied themselves for the coming fight. It squeaked nervously each time Lee moved too suddenly and kept pawing at his cheek.
“Do not be nervous, my friend! We will be home before you know it.” Lee assured the imp as he finished tying the leather guards on his arms. The demon was awake and watchful behind deceiving soft brown eyes but it had already masked its presence. Glancing over at Gaara, he urged his horse forward and clasped the sorcerer’s arm. They would need to stick together for Naruto and Gaara to keep the horses invisible to Shukaku, and that fact alone brought front the reality of their quest. “Are you ready?” he asked in a hushed voice, unconsciously rubbing his thumb over the leather covering Gaara’s arm.
“Yes. It’s time," Gaara replied simply. He ran his fingers over Lee’s briefly without expression. Gaara glanced at the soft tone in Lee’s face from the corner of his eye as he shifted in his saddle. He lifted his chin to the imp. “You’ll want to leave him with the horses when you and Naruto separate from me on foot. He’ll either be in the way or get hurt.”
“I added my power to the cloaking barrier," Naruto piped up from Gaara’s other side, oblivious to the other’s hushed words. “I tried to sense your demon, Lee, but I couldn’t find anything, even though I knew what I was looking for. It should work until we’re noticed.”
Lee nodded at Naruto and flashed a thumbs up. “Alright. We will flank you on the sides until then," he told Gaara as they finally guided their horses towards the desert.
“According to your map, there are only a few hiding places here, but they’re far and scarce enough to make him hard to find.” Naruto said. “Watch out for false leads. He’ll probably use his followers as fucking body barriers and traps.” With the warning said, he tucked his mouth guard over his face just as the other two did, their party setting out across the sandy landscape.
It was hot. The sun had been pounding down on the desert air all day, ruthless and powerful with heat. For the past hour, Gaara had been trudging on foot under the sun. The hot air mere feet away wavered across his vision, and his lashes were heavy above his dry eyes. Sweltering beads of sweat crawled down the back of Gaara’s neck and bellow the collar of his thin shirt. All was silent in the heat aside from the sorcerer’s lonely footsteps across the rough sand.
Gaara’s gaze flickered and his feet stopped as he approached the top of a tall dune. In the edge of his vision he’d seen something shifting, rustling the sand unnaturally. He almost would have thought it was a trick of the heat, if the sweat across his body had not suddenly gone cold with instinct. He paused, then climbed the last few steps to the top of the dune and his eyes widened at what he found.
It was a chasm in the middle of the desert. Jagged edges dropped down to an impossible depth while sand simply flowed down or away from it. Around the hole, bodies littered the sandy ground, half-buried with their skin and muscles rubbed raw by sand until their bones showed. The wind sounded like whispers echoing against the hissing sand.
The only visible way down was a raised platform that spiraled steeply down the hole. With the power throbbing down in the darkness, there was little doubt that this was where Shukaku lay in wait. Lee and Naruto were going around the path Gaara was on, and wouldn't be of help until Shukaku showed himself. Gaara would need to lure his former master out.
Gaara licked his dry lips, sensing the pulse of evil and power so thick in the air. He slowly crossed his arms, a habitual gesture as he focused on being alert and ready for anything. He’d been hiding his presence until now, remaining subtle and undetected until he reached this place. Now though, he was sure that Shukaku could sense him, no matter the barriers he placed. This was his old master’s territory.
Taking a deep breath, Gaara opened the field that had been blocking his magic from view. He allowed himself to be seen, for any who tried to taste the power stored deep in his intangible soul, power rich with the chimera’s sacrifice and the sources gathered over the years. His power was like a furnace that had suddenly been lit in the center of an endless void of darkness. Gaara’s hearing perked, and over the rustling of the sand in the wind he could hear the slow, clipping steps of Shukaku as the old man rose up along the platform steps.
Shukaku had aged drastically since Gaara last saw him. Bald, shriveled with a darkness in his eyes that twisted his features, the sorcerer nudged aside the few bodies littering his path until they fell into the chasm. “Finally, you’re here. I’ve been waiting long enough," he said, his voice surprisingly strong despite his body’s appearance. Sand billowed against Shukaku’s robes and seemed to follow the bony curves of his wrists and fingers.
He stepped on a skull with a huff of contempt. He didn’t seem to care that Gaara was there with murderous intent, instead treating him like this was just another lecture. “These fools tried to give themselves worth by being my followers, but they forgot in the end that their desires came at a price. Now they’re part of something greater, just as I always taught you to aim for.”
Gaara’s eyes flickered across his old master’s decrepit body, conveying no emotion or thought as he remained on his guard. His arms were tight across his chest. “Yes, they have definitely contributed to something large and powerful. But your power is corrupt; you cannot contain it any longer. You will die soon, Shukaku.” He tilted his head pointedly in gesture toward Shukaku’s pathetic, shriveled frame. “Your body is decaying.”
Gaara didn’t pause, didn’t hesitate before flaring a rush of consuming, fiery energy. He enveloped the old sorcerer in it, attempting to burn his body and dissolve anything left. It was not the most powerful attack possible, but it was formidable nonetheless. It was a test, and they both knew it.
Shukaku didn’t even bother dodging it, letting the fires singe his clothes indifferently until a wave of sand rose up and absorbed the flames with each grain glittering hot. The old man began to step towards Gaara, cocking his head at his old pupil. “Enough tricks. You’ve come all this way to kill me, but the force you’ve gathered is no less corrupt as mine.
“Do you know what I trained you for?” Shukaku’s hands raised simultaneously. The very sand under Gaara’s feet began to slither and move. Around them, the dunes were rising higher and higher, arching up into a cracked dome. “You were to be my successor until the day you gained morals. It was a mistake to let you learn from the sage’s boy. Your potential is still there, but maybe you would do better as another sacrifice.”
Gaara recognized the insatiable, vile hunger in Shukaku’s black eyes as the old man stepped closer. “You would never have let me succeed you. You never planned to die. What power is there for you to pass on when you can never let it go to begin with?”
The words were almost spoken to himself, because Gaara knew that Shukaku was already beyond talking to. He unfolded his arms and raised them, gathering his own power in a blaze of static electricity. Seemingly appearing from thin air, Naruto became visible along the chasm’s edge several paces behind Shukaku. The blonde gave a shout with the rush of battle and swirling spikes of energy gathered around his palm, which he raised and threw at Shukaku with a running start. Gaara could feel Lee not far off as well. The redhead added his power to Naruto’s and aimed for his old master’s crooked heart.
Link to second part.