Two articles - Being single and "immature"

[luckycanuck]

I've recently come across Thought Catalog, and last week I read two articles that really cut through and expressed a lot of how I feel at the moment.

There was this one about being single.

And there was this one about the pressure associated with growing up.

First, singleness.  Like the article mentions, I do have time.  I have more time than I ever

Comments

[ext_913308]

As yet another singleton, I think that the key is to realize that for some people (well, for a lot of people), living in a relationship and building a family and a home is what makes them happy. And I don't resent or dismiss them for it. It just hasn't been what I wanted for myself, and I'm fortunate to have friends who don't wonder if there's not something wrong with me for not doing it, too.

I don't know that you have to fill every moment with doing something worthwhile. I don't think anybody does. The 'trappings of adulthood' are not necessarily the bungalow house with a green lawn. It's about being responsible for yourself and your choices, for trying not to hurt others, for being empathetic in your dealings with them, and to be a participating citizen in your community. I don't think that you haven't grown up. You've held a number of good jobs, you're a volunteer firefighter, and you're a really good friend. You look after yourself. You do new things and take on new challenges. If that's not being an adult, what is?

[luckycanuck]

That's a good way to look at it. Being an adult is about taking responsibility for yourself, and that's not a problem for me.

It's just hard sometimes not to see it as things, especially when there are so many signs pointing to that. It seems like every ad I see is saying "you aren't a real person unless you have income protection insurance to protect your family if you die, and you take out a mortgage, and you buy nappies and so on.

The budget came down in Australia last week, and there are a plethora of things to help "working families" but nobody seems to take any interest in single people. We just get to pay the taxes to support the lollipops for everyone else.

I don't even mind paying the cost of that so much as the implication that certain people are not living their lives properly and so are not worthy of consideration.

[ext_913308]

There certainly are a lot of tax breaks for families and children...but I suppose I see that as part of the citizen aspect of being 'grown-up.' I would rather pay more taxes, as a single woman, than to think that families with small children (heck, with any children) might struggle unnecessarily. I'm not wild about tax dollars going to hockey rinks and tax credits to send kids to soccer and ballet, but I suppose I hope that they'll be better individuals for the experience. And, after all, I hope that they'll help to pay down the cost of taking care of me when I'm a little old lady. I think that we singletons still have a place in the community, and it takes communities to raise up children (whether we are actively involved in their upbringing or contributing, financially, to the community chest). Give and take, I suppose

[ext_913308]

(I haven't just said something obscene in Australian parlance, have I?)

[luckycanuck]

I think so too. Heather C has known me for a very long time and she knows where I'm coming from.

Like I said, everyone who is important to me is pretty cool with this.

[ext_913308]

Ahem. I have been *privileged* to know you for a long time. You're a really good person.

[savesomesilence]

The "growing up" one was interesting. I believe I may have grown down. I was super career focused and responsible in my 20's.

[luckycanuck]

Growing down. I like that expression. So what are you going to be like in twenty years?