I constantly struggle with that issue of "After all this time, why should I have to spell every single fucking thing out for you? Haven't you learned ANY things you know I want (or don't want)? Can't you just take care of me because you care about me?"
One thing my time in therapy has taught me is that sometimes you have to choose between being right and being happy. Yes, I can sit there all day and be totally confident that I am right, that the other person should have known what to do (or not do) for me, but if that just makes me sad and angry, is it worth it? Or would it be better for me to say "I'm sorry that I wasn't clear enough about what I need. Here is what I really want/need from you." By taking the blame on myself, I give the other person a chance to apologize for their contribution to the issue, or at least say that now since they know what I want they will try to do better in whatever area in the future.
It gets harder and harder to say that the more times you've said it before, for sure. When you feel you've been
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One thing my time in therapy has taught me is that sometimes you have to choose between being right and being happy. Yes, I can sit there all day and be totally confident that I am right, that the other person should have known what to do (or not do) for me, but if that just makes me sad and angry, is it worth it? Or would it be better for me to say "I'm sorry that I wasn't clear enough about what I need. Here is what I really want/need from you." By taking the blame on myself, I give the other person a chance to apologize for their contribution to the issue, or at least say that now since they know what I want they will try to do better in whatever area in the future.
It gets harder and harder to say that the more times you've said it before, for sure. When you feel you've been ( ... )
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