One month old

[luckytiger]

I spend a lot of time nursing this little girl, nursing and reconstructing my notions of motherhood. I don't hardly remember what they were, but this they aren't. I couldn't have imagined.

Comments

[bansagart]

She's beautiful!

[maria_sputnik]

oh my god! that picture of her smiling in her sleep. i didn't know that babies made that face.

and look at that giant yawn -- she's gonna be an expressive person.

what did you think motherhood would be like? what is it really like? holding hands with babies?

[luckytiger]

it's exactly what they said it would be. but what did i think that would be like? i don't know. time never moved so fast, especially after being pregnant for so many years. my emotions are crazy new hybrids, not the old farm animals of feeling that i'm used to. i'm a half-man half-goat griffin centaur of happyfearfuljoy. i want more babies like crazy and the world is more dangerous then i could have ever imagnined. i feel like i am going to decapitate my baby if i don't pay attention and walk through the door too close to the doorframe. i fall down every flight of stairs. pots of boiling water spill all over me every where i go. i feel crushing guilt if i consider giving her a pacifier so i can bolt a plate of cold pasta. will she ever know emotional fulfillment now that i've substituted a cold green smoothie for my lovin human boob? will you just finishing eating for crissake so i can put on my other shoe??? itsfourintheafternoonalreadyandidontevenhavepantson!!!

[quinlansmum]

that last picture...perfection! i agree - it is all of that and of course, much more. you're handling it perfectly.