so, yes.
after spending an unpleasant drive to Kingston being bombarded by some syphilitic asshole asking to see pictures of my dick (via text), I finally managed to Chris Hansen his ass ("I'm only 14 and my mommy is calling the police") and go to the movies.
omg, so ahahahaha, my otp going into the movie was Chris Evans/sniper!dude (because I fail at google and did not look up his name, my bad), and my otp coming out of the movie was Jensen (Chris Evans)/Cougar (sniper!dude, aka Óscar Jaenada, who is BEAUTIFUL OMG I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING I WANT TO LICK HIM AND IT'S NOT EVEN JUST BECAUSE OF THE WEAPONRY ahem). I had asked the bff if she thought that the trailers were coding Chris' character as gay, and after she picked herself up off the floor she agreed that yes, he might be, a tiny bit. and, you know, he thinks he's a ladies' man but he's so not, but he's completely adorbs and smart and he gets to carry a gun and hack things and he LOVES COUGAR OMG. and Cougar loves him, even though he won't shut up, but you know that kind of makes them perfect for each other, because Cougar only talks when there is something very very important to say. and, omg, when Jensen (seriously, movie, JENSEN? I know it was a book first, but JENSEN AHAHAHAHAHA) got shot and Cougar had to sew him up and Jensen was all "be gentle with me, Cougar" and yes I did nearly fall on the floor omg otp.
I did like the movie, it was genuinely fun but it had a dark undercurrent of not being afraid to, you know, blow up a helicopter full of sad-eyed orphans HOLDING TEDDY BEARS just to make JDM sadface, and it had Jason Patric being insane in the membrane as the main bad guy, and it had Zoe Saldana and JDM either fucking or kicking each other in the face (about a fifty-fifty split), and it had surprise!bad guy Idris Elba, and I like Columbus Short even though didn't he date someone that Justin Timberlake used to date and why do I remember this random shit from popslash, and it had Holt McCallany, whom I would never know his name, but he's done the brick-wall supporting bad guy thing a lot and is always good at it. plus, it set itself up for sequels, and that's fun, and I really enjoyed the ending ("GO PETUNIAS!") and really, Jensen/Cougar4EVA because they are soinlove and I may have to write something even though all I ever write is dialogue and Cougar doesn't say anything.
he does sniper a lot of people, though. he's really really good at that. Jensen thinks it's AWESOME.
so, yes. go see this movie now so I can have sequels.
and now I am in *$ in K-town and I am dling a rip of "Legion" and, really, all is well in the world. as long as that assfaced goat-felcher doesn't start texting me again.
omg, so ahahahaha, my otp going into the movie was Chris Evans/sniper!dude (because I fail at google and did not look up his name, my bad), and my otp coming out of the movie was Jensen (Chris Evans)/Cougar (sniper!dude, aka Óscar Jaenada, who is BEAUTIFUL OMG I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING I WANT TO LICK HIM AND IT'S NOT EVEN JUST BECAUSE OF THE WEAPONRY ahem). I had asked the bff if she thought that the trailers were coding Chris' character as gay, and after she picked herself up off the floor she agreed that yes, he might be, a tiny bit. and, you know, he thinks he's a ladies' man but he's so not, but he's completely adorbs and smart and he gets to carry a gun and hack things and he LOVES COUGAR OMG. and Cougar loves him, even though he won't shut up, but you know that kind of makes them perfect for each other, because Cougar only talks when there is something very very important to say. and, omg, when Jensen (seriously, movie, JENSEN? I know it was a book first, but JENSEN AHAHAHAHAHA) got shot and Cougar had to sew him up and Jensen was all "be gentle with me, Cougar" and yes I did nearly fall on the floor omg otp.
I did like the movie, it was genuinely fun but it had a dark undercurrent of not being afraid to, you know, blow up a helicopter full of sad-eyed orphans HOLDING TEDDY BEARS just to make JDM sadface, and it had Jason Patric being insane in the membrane as the main bad guy, and it had Zoe Saldana and JDM either fucking or kicking each other in the face (about a fifty-fifty split), and it had surprise!bad guy Idris Elba, and I like Columbus Short even though didn't he date someone that Justin Timberlake used to date and why do I remember this random shit from popslash, and it had Holt McCallany, whom I would never know his name, but he's done the brick-wall supporting bad guy thing a lot and is always good at it. plus, it set itself up for sequels, and that's fun, and I really enjoyed the ending ("GO PETUNIAS!") and really, Jensen/Cougar4EVA because they are soinlove and I may have to write something even though all I ever write is dialogue and Cougar doesn't say anything.
he does sniper a lot of people, though. he's really really good at that. Jensen thinks it's AWESOME.
so, yes. go see this movie now so I can have sequels.
and now I am in *$ in K-town and I am dling a rip of "Legion" and, really, all is well in the world. as long as that assfaced goat-felcher doesn't start texting me again.