happiness is
a lap dance at four in the morning!
and, um, finishing a story. both thanks to Shine, who is my own personal Dallas Cowboy cheerleader! yay! Also Loey and V, who suggested young!Justin/Kevin fic for my block-breaker. look! it worked!
unhappiness is realizing I forgot to take the blue boxes out, and I'm gonna have to get dressed and go do that. out in the cold. wah!
But, story! yay!
Improbable
There was one thing to be said for Justin, Kevin thought; at least he knew when to keep his mouth shut. He was sitting on the bed, wide-eyed and a little scared looking, although he probably would have rather died than admit it. His eyes darted from Kevin to Nick to the door, and Kevin wouldn't have been surprised if he made a sudden run for it at any moment. The same couldn't be said for Nick, who had been babbling non-stop for the last five minutes, and didn't show any sign of running out of steam.
"Nick," Kevin said, rubbing his forehead, tired already. "Nick - "
"And we didn't _do_ anything," Nick said, "we were just hanging out and you don't have to tell anyone anything because we weren't doing anything, okay, Kev? I - "
Finally, Kevin put his hand over Nick's mouth to forcibly stop him from talking. "_Nick_, if you don't shut up right now, I'm going to tell everyone _everything_, and I'll even think up some _more_ stuff. Do you understand? Nod if you understand what I'm saying."
Nick nodded.
"If I take my hand away, will you be quiet?"
Nick nodded again.
Kevin took his hand away.
"Thanks, Kev - "
"Ah ah ah," Kevin said, putting his hand back. "What did I tell you?"
"Nph tkshig?"
"Yes. No talking. Ew!" Kevin took his hand away and rubbed the palm on his jeans, where Nick had licked him. "Nick, go to bed. _Now_."
Nick, who was grinning wickedly, nevertheless stood up and quickly left the room, without so much as a look back at his erstwhile partner in crime.
Kevin sighed. Justin was still looking at him. "You should go to bed, too," Kevin said.
"Um," Justin said. "Uh, I can't."
Kevin raised an eyebrow. Apparently, Justin already knew him well enough to know that nothing else needed to be said.
"See, Chris thinks I'm in bed in my room, and my mom thinks that I'm sharing with JC, and JC's got someone in with him, so I can't - I mean, there isn't any - "
Kevin put a hand up, immediately cutting off Justin's babbling without even having to touch him. "What you're saying is that if you go back to your hotel, you're going to get into trouble with at least ten different people, right?"
Justin nodded.
"And I should care about that because?"
Justin didn't say anything, but, if it was possible, he looked even more pitiful than he had before. That look had never worked on Kevin when Nick tried to use it, but, somehow, coming from Justin, who was a year younger than Nick and seemed somehow even more vulnerable, Kevin found himself falling for it. Almost.
Yeah, 'innocent little Justin Timberlake.' That was a good one; if he was really so innocent, Kevin wouldn't have found him in Nick's room with a bottle of vodka supplied by either Joey or AJ - still unopened, thank god - and seemingly more than ready and willing for whatever sort of 'fun' Nick decided the two of them needed to have while everyone else was out for the night at a local Berlin bar.
Another reason that Kevin considered helping Justin get away with his deception was the fact that Chris had been so damn obnoxious at the bar tonight, completely ruining Kevin's rare quiet evening out with his frat-boy-at-spring-break behaviour. Joey completely egged him on, and as if that wasn't bad enough, even Brian - Kevin's own _cousin_ - got in on the action. Once Brian got in full-on goofball-mode and he and Joey started to give each other noogies, Kevin had enough and called it a night.
And now Kevin had a sixteen-year-old kid looking at him with puppy-dog eyes, begging to share his room. Hell, his _bed_, since he was stuck with a single this time.
Kevin sighed. "Fine. I am tired, so I'm going to sleep. If you're staying, you will, too."
"Okay," Justin said, eagerly. It was relatively early - only about eleven - but Kevin had had enough of this day and was only hoping for a much better one tomorrow.
He put on pajamas and offered an extra pair of old sweatpants to Justin, who took them gratefully and wore them, rolled up at the bottoms, with his t-shirt. Kevin let Justin into the bathroom first, and when he came out Justin was still hovering around the bed, waiting to see what side he was allowed to sleep on. Nick would have been spread across the entire mattress, snoring loudly, by now. Kevin wondered if Justin was on his best behaviour, or if he'd have been this way around Chris, too. For some reason, he hoped that this was a special effort on Justin's part.
It took a while for Kevin to get used to someone in the bed with him - he didn't often have to share, unless Howie and AJ were fighting, which hardly ever happened, or if Brian or Nick were sick. Justin tossed and turned for a few minutes before he got comfortable on his stomach, and then they both fell asleep.
It might have been half an hour later that Kevin woke up, or it might have been the middle of the night. He was disoriented, at first, like he always was when they were in the middle of travelling around. It was hard to remember what city or country or even continent they were in, sometimes, and tonight there was the added burden of trying to figure out _who_ was lying practically on top of him. It came to him slowly - Europe, Germany, Berlin, hotel room.
Justin Timberlake.
Justin was pressed up against Kevin's side, head resting on his chest, one arm flung over Kevin's waist, one leg rubbing up against him. He was quite obviously asleep, from the deep, even tempo of his breath, and Kevin guessed that he was also dreaming - something pleasant, if the size of the erection pressed into his hip was any indication.
He almost laughed, except he really didn't want to wake Justin up. It was bad enough that the kid was sixteen and still in the throes of hormone-induced dreams, without having him wake up and realize that he was snuggled up that tight to someone he barely even knew. There wasn't anywhere Kevin could go - the bed wasn't _that_ big - so he closed his eyes and tried to get back to sleep.
Then Justin moaned, and moved even closer, if that was possible. He shifted so that his body was half on top of Kevin, from thigh to chest, and his mouth was pressed against Kevin's throat, soft, warm breath huffing gently into Kevin's hair. Kevin decided that he'd better put a stop to things before they went even further, when he felt something soft against his neck.
Something soft, and wet - like a tongue.
"Justin," he whispered, "are you awake?"
Justin didn't say anything, but Kevin could _feel_ Justin's mouth curving against his throat, and his body shifted again, so that his thigh was now moving in between Kevin's legs.
"Justin - " Kevin started, and then Justin kissed him, his tongue licking in between Kevin's lips, and one hand was creeping up underneath Kevin's pajama top, stroking at his belly. "Justin," Kevin repeated, more forcefully this time. He grabbed one of Justin's wrists tightly, pulling it out of his pajamas and holding it still.
Justin opened his eyes, caught out in his deception, and looked at Kevin with half a sheepish grin on his face. He opened his mouth to apologize, figuring that Kevin was going to either kick him out of bed or throw him in a cold shower and make him sleep on the floor. Before he could say anything, though, when Kevin pushed him over on his back and kissed him.
Whatever Justin might have been about to say was lost in the searing heat of that kiss. He moaned in his throat, the game he was playing at changing faster than his brain could process, except for the fact that he was _very_ hard and Kevin was very serious about not letting him go. He went very, very quickly from almost playful seducer to the seduced, and the last conscious thought he could remember was that Nick would _never_ believe him when Justin told him to pay up on their bet.
Only, would it still count as a successful seduction attempt if Kevin was now seducing _him_?
Justin's fingers fumbled at the buttons of Kevin's pajama top, frustrated and clumsy because of Kevin's oxygen-stealing kisses. He needed to breathe to think, but breathing meant pulling himself away from Kevin's mouth, and _that_ was unthinkable - not when Kevin's tongue was trailing over and around his teeth, teasing at his tongue, licking his palate. Justin whimpered, and when Kevin lifted the hem of his t-shirt, plucking at a nipple, he _had_ to pull away, just for a moment, just long enough to breathe.
"Justin," Kevin said, his fingers still teasing Justin's nipple, "what exactly are you doing here?"
"Uh," Justin said, trying to think, or reason. Trying to think of a lie, actually, but he was stunned and stupid, and he couldn't think of anything except the fact that Kevin was playing with his nipples and he was hard and somehow the truth just seemed to tumble out of his mouth. "Nick bet me that I couldn't get you into bed and I said that I could and we both agreed that if I got you to let me stay tonight it would be the perfect chance to see if I - "
Kevin put his hand over Justin's mouth. "Okay, that's enough. Do I want to know exactly _what_ it was you two bet?"
After a moment, Justin shook his head.
"That's what I thought. Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick you out to sleep in the hall tonight?"
Kevin lifted his hand away from Justin's mouth to let him speak, and Justin thought, really hard, trying to come up with anything he thought Kevin might actually go for. Finally, he bit his bottom lip and lowered his lashes.
Kevin narrowed his eyes. "Don't even _think_ of trying the 'poor pitiful me' look, either. It worked once, but that's my limit."
Justin figured that the only thing he had going for him anymore was the fact that he was still really turned on by Kevin, and the truth had worked pretty well so far. He lifted his head up a little and pressed his mouth against Kevin's, working his tongue in between Kevin's mouth. Kevin resisted him, at first, and then his lips parted and he allowed Justin to kiss him. Justin wrapped his arms around Kevin's neck and pulled him closer, thrusting up with his hips.
Again, Kevin stopped him. "Justin," he said, "have you ever slept with anyone before?"
"Of course," Justin said, nonchalantly.
"Who?"
"Uh. Nick?" Justin said, hopefully.
Kevin gave him another one of those looks that felt like it went right through him.
Justin swallowed. "We, um, kissed. A lot."
Kevin raised an eyebrow.
"A little?" Justin tried again. "Okay, twice, but - "
Kevin shook his head, and Justin was afraid that he was going to be kicked out again, when Kevin suddenly started to chuckle.
That was _not_ the reaction that Justin was looking for, and his pride wouldn't let him stay still while Kevin laughed at him. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, but Kevin caught him from behind.
"Justin," Kevin said, resting his forehead on the centre of Justin's back. "I'm sorry."
Justin bit his lip again, because there was one thing he was _really_ certain of - he was _not_ going to cry, not in front of Kevin, not for any reason. He nodded. "Okay."
"Why are you here?" Kevin asked again, and his voice was quiet, and serious again.
"I can't - " Justin started, then stopped. "I don't know anyone here, and I don't know when I'll be home again," he said. "And, the guys - I'm with them all the time. I couldn't just ask one of them - and then see them on the bus the next day, and have to pretend that nothing happened? I mean, what if I - or if they - " He shook his head. "I couldn't."
"Okay."
"And Nick - I thought - " Justin shook his head. "He just wanted to play. Fool around. He didn't - "
"It's okay," Kevin said.
Justin made himself turn around, and look Kevin straight in the eye. "I don't know you, but I _feel_ like I do," he said. "I mean - "
"I know," Kevin said. He reached out and traced his thumb across Justin's bottom lip, and didn't do anything else at all. When Justin straddled his lap, it was as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
They stopped kissing just long enough for Kevin to slide Justin's t-shirt up over his head and toss it on the floor, and then shift over on the bed, so Justin was lying on his back, with Kevin on top of him, carefully holding himself up until Justin pulled him all the way down. Kevin's knees nudged Justin's legs apart, fitting their bodies together; Justin hadn't lost any of his earlier hardness, and Kevin found himself responding eagerly to the admittedly beautiful young man - especially now that Justin had lost his put-on 'game face.'
He was right, of course, it was easier because they were relative strangers, and yet familiar - Justin reminded him of home, too, but he wasn't like Nick, not as close as a baby brother, not someone Kevin would have to wake up and face over breakfast every morning for the rest of his life. He should probably have regretted that, but he couldn't, not quite.
Instead, he let himself be seduced by Justin's youth and his relative innocence and his eagerness, and in turn seduced Justin with experience and wisdom. It was a mutual trade-off, for each of them to get something that they wanted, and maybe even needed.
Justin wouldn't deny him anything, not until Kevin tried to slow things down, to take some time to explore. Of course, Justin was a sexually frustrated sixteen-year-old; it was amazing that he'd lasted as long as he had already without resorting to humping the furniture. That thought made Kevin chuckle again, but Justin barely noticed, too busy wriggling his hips to kick off his borrowed sweatpants.
And then Justin was completely naked - all long, lean, smooth golden limbs and coltish beauty, unabashed and unashamed of his nudity, a frightening combination of stubborn pride and utter fearlessness. Kevin could barely stand to look at him, felt his hands shake for the first time in a long time, had to close his eyes for a moment under the weight of Justin's fierce kisses. Then his hands rested on Justin's thighs and they parted like waves, smooth-slippery and easy to the touch, and Justin was wrapped around him and they just _fit_ together.
There was no reason on earth why it should have been so easy. It broke every rule of a first time sexual encounter - including Kevin's own - with a singular lack of pain and messiness and misunderstanding. Maybe it was the fact that Justin's body flexed and moved and stayed exactly where Kevin needed it to be, or perhaps it was Kevin's experience that moved it out of the realm of fumbling teenaged awkwardness. Whatever it was, when Kevin lifted Justin's thighs and leaned down to cover his mouth and swallowed his faintly gasped moue of initial pain, even that seemed somehow perfect. Justin's eyes flew open at the same moment that he gasped in breath, his entire body reacting simultaneously to the fact that he was being _fucked_, and it felt _good_, and when Kevin licked the tip of his thumb and brushed it over the head of Justin's cock, he almost leapt right out of his skin.
Kevin wouldn't let him come, not as fast as he wanted to, slowing him down until the orgasm burned like fire behind his eyes and at the base of his throat and all along his spine, pouring out of the sweat on his skin. It wasn't until Kevin leaned over and licked softly at a nipple that Justin lost all control and came, hard and thrusting up into Kevin's hand, caught in rippling waves of release. Kevin's face contorted with something like physical pain as he tried to control himself, but it was impossible to resist the muscles that gripped him like a fist, tightening every second until he, too, came with a swallowed shout, dripping sweat that splashed down like rain and tears on Justin's body.
They stayed caught in that awkward pose for a long time, panting in breath, until Kevin finally had to ease away and Justin reluctantly let him go, if not too far. _That_ gaping emptiness hurt more than the penetration, but Kevin lay down and pulled Justin against him, damp skin and boneless limbs tangled together. Justin blinked up at the dark ceiling and wondered if this deep hollow feeling meant that he was broken, or that he was in love.
It turned out to be something unnameable and yet far less fatal than either of those two choices. Justin yawned and turned his body, burrowing against Kevin's solid warmth, burying himself in bedclothes and exhaustion. The last thing he felt before he fell asleep were Kevin's hands, tight around his waist.
It was the first thing he felt in the morning, as well.
and, um, finishing a story. both thanks to Shine, who is my own personal Dallas Cowboy cheerleader! yay! Also Loey and V, who suggested young!Justin/Kevin fic for my block-breaker. look! it worked!
unhappiness is realizing I forgot to take the blue boxes out, and I'm gonna have to get dressed and go do that. out in the cold. wah!
But, story! yay!
Improbable
There was one thing to be said for Justin, Kevin thought; at least he knew when to keep his mouth shut. He was sitting on the bed, wide-eyed and a little scared looking, although he probably would have rather died than admit it. His eyes darted from Kevin to Nick to the door, and Kevin wouldn't have been surprised if he made a sudden run for it at any moment. The same couldn't be said for Nick, who had been babbling non-stop for the last five minutes, and didn't show any sign of running out of steam.
"Nick," Kevin said, rubbing his forehead, tired already. "Nick - "
"And we didn't _do_ anything," Nick said, "we were just hanging out and you don't have to tell anyone anything because we weren't doing anything, okay, Kev? I - "
Finally, Kevin put his hand over Nick's mouth to forcibly stop him from talking. "_Nick_, if you don't shut up right now, I'm going to tell everyone _everything_, and I'll even think up some _more_ stuff. Do you understand? Nod if you understand what I'm saying."
Nick nodded.
"If I take my hand away, will you be quiet?"
Nick nodded again.
Kevin took his hand away.
"Thanks, Kev - "
"Ah ah ah," Kevin said, putting his hand back. "What did I tell you?"
"Nph tkshig?"
"Yes. No talking. Ew!" Kevin took his hand away and rubbed the palm on his jeans, where Nick had licked him. "Nick, go to bed. _Now_."
Nick, who was grinning wickedly, nevertheless stood up and quickly left the room, without so much as a look back at his erstwhile partner in crime.
Kevin sighed. Justin was still looking at him. "You should go to bed, too," Kevin said.
"Um," Justin said. "Uh, I can't."
Kevin raised an eyebrow. Apparently, Justin already knew him well enough to know that nothing else needed to be said.
"See, Chris thinks I'm in bed in my room, and my mom thinks that I'm sharing with JC, and JC's got someone in with him, so I can't - I mean, there isn't any - "
Kevin put a hand up, immediately cutting off Justin's babbling without even having to touch him. "What you're saying is that if you go back to your hotel, you're going to get into trouble with at least ten different people, right?"
Justin nodded.
"And I should care about that because?"
Justin didn't say anything, but, if it was possible, he looked even more pitiful than he had before. That look had never worked on Kevin when Nick tried to use it, but, somehow, coming from Justin, who was a year younger than Nick and seemed somehow even more vulnerable, Kevin found himself falling for it. Almost.
Yeah, 'innocent little Justin Timberlake.' That was a good one; if he was really so innocent, Kevin wouldn't have found him in Nick's room with a bottle of vodka supplied by either Joey or AJ - still unopened, thank god - and seemingly more than ready and willing for whatever sort of 'fun' Nick decided the two of them needed to have while everyone else was out for the night at a local Berlin bar.
Another reason that Kevin considered helping Justin get away with his deception was the fact that Chris had been so damn obnoxious at the bar tonight, completely ruining Kevin's rare quiet evening out with his frat-boy-at-spring-break behaviour. Joey completely egged him on, and as if that wasn't bad enough, even Brian - Kevin's own _cousin_ - got in on the action. Once Brian got in full-on goofball-mode and he and Joey started to give each other noogies, Kevin had enough and called it a night.
And now Kevin had a sixteen-year-old kid looking at him with puppy-dog eyes, begging to share his room. Hell, his _bed_, since he was stuck with a single this time.
Kevin sighed. "Fine. I am tired, so I'm going to sleep. If you're staying, you will, too."
"Okay," Justin said, eagerly. It was relatively early - only about eleven - but Kevin had had enough of this day and was only hoping for a much better one tomorrow.
He put on pajamas and offered an extra pair of old sweatpants to Justin, who took them gratefully and wore them, rolled up at the bottoms, with his t-shirt. Kevin let Justin into the bathroom first, and when he came out Justin was still hovering around the bed, waiting to see what side he was allowed to sleep on. Nick would have been spread across the entire mattress, snoring loudly, by now. Kevin wondered if Justin was on his best behaviour, or if he'd have been this way around Chris, too. For some reason, he hoped that this was a special effort on Justin's part.
It took a while for Kevin to get used to someone in the bed with him - he didn't often have to share, unless Howie and AJ were fighting, which hardly ever happened, or if Brian or Nick were sick. Justin tossed and turned for a few minutes before he got comfortable on his stomach, and then they both fell asleep.
It might have been half an hour later that Kevin woke up, or it might have been the middle of the night. He was disoriented, at first, like he always was when they were in the middle of travelling around. It was hard to remember what city or country or even continent they were in, sometimes, and tonight there was the added burden of trying to figure out _who_ was lying practically on top of him. It came to him slowly - Europe, Germany, Berlin, hotel room.
Justin Timberlake.
Justin was pressed up against Kevin's side, head resting on his chest, one arm flung over Kevin's waist, one leg rubbing up against him. He was quite obviously asleep, from the deep, even tempo of his breath, and Kevin guessed that he was also dreaming - something pleasant, if the size of the erection pressed into his hip was any indication.
He almost laughed, except he really didn't want to wake Justin up. It was bad enough that the kid was sixteen and still in the throes of hormone-induced dreams, without having him wake up and realize that he was snuggled up that tight to someone he barely even knew. There wasn't anywhere Kevin could go - the bed wasn't _that_ big - so he closed his eyes and tried to get back to sleep.
Then Justin moaned, and moved even closer, if that was possible. He shifted so that his body was half on top of Kevin, from thigh to chest, and his mouth was pressed against Kevin's throat, soft, warm breath huffing gently into Kevin's hair. Kevin decided that he'd better put a stop to things before they went even further, when he felt something soft against his neck.
Something soft, and wet - like a tongue.
"Justin," he whispered, "are you awake?"
Justin didn't say anything, but Kevin could _feel_ Justin's mouth curving against his throat, and his body shifted again, so that his thigh was now moving in between Kevin's legs.
"Justin - " Kevin started, and then Justin kissed him, his tongue licking in between Kevin's lips, and one hand was creeping up underneath Kevin's pajama top, stroking at his belly. "Justin," Kevin repeated, more forcefully this time. He grabbed one of Justin's wrists tightly, pulling it out of his pajamas and holding it still.
Justin opened his eyes, caught out in his deception, and looked at Kevin with half a sheepish grin on his face. He opened his mouth to apologize, figuring that Kevin was going to either kick him out of bed or throw him in a cold shower and make him sleep on the floor. Before he could say anything, though, when Kevin pushed him over on his back and kissed him.
Whatever Justin might have been about to say was lost in the searing heat of that kiss. He moaned in his throat, the game he was playing at changing faster than his brain could process, except for the fact that he was _very_ hard and Kevin was very serious about not letting him go. He went very, very quickly from almost playful seducer to the seduced, and the last conscious thought he could remember was that Nick would _never_ believe him when Justin told him to pay up on their bet.
Only, would it still count as a successful seduction attempt if Kevin was now seducing _him_?
Justin's fingers fumbled at the buttons of Kevin's pajama top, frustrated and clumsy because of Kevin's oxygen-stealing kisses. He needed to breathe to think, but breathing meant pulling himself away from Kevin's mouth, and _that_ was unthinkable - not when Kevin's tongue was trailing over and around his teeth, teasing at his tongue, licking his palate. Justin whimpered, and when Kevin lifted the hem of his t-shirt, plucking at a nipple, he _had_ to pull away, just for a moment, just long enough to breathe.
"Justin," Kevin said, his fingers still teasing Justin's nipple, "what exactly are you doing here?"
"Uh," Justin said, trying to think, or reason. Trying to think of a lie, actually, but he was stunned and stupid, and he couldn't think of anything except the fact that Kevin was playing with his nipples and he was hard and somehow the truth just seemed to tumble out of his mouth. "Nick bet me that I couldn't get you into bed and I said that I could and we both agreed that if I got you to let me stay tonight it would be the perfect chance to see if I - "
Kevin put his hand over Justin's mouth. "Okay, that's enough. Do I want to know exactly _what_ it was you two bet?"
After a moment, Justin shook his head.
"That's what I thought. Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick you out to sleep in the hall tonight?"
Kevin lifted his hand away from Justin's mouth to let him speak, and Justin thought, really hard, trying to come up with anything he thought Kevin might actually go for. Finally, he bit his bottom lip and lowered his lashes.
Kevin narrowed his eyes. "Don't even _think_ of trying the 'poor pitiful me' look, either. It worked once, but that's my limit."
Justin figured that the only thing he had going for him anymore was the fact that he was still really turned on by Kevin, and the truth had worked pretty well so far. He lifted his head up a little and pressed his mouth against Kevin's, working his tongue in between Kevin's mouth. Kevin resisted him, at first, and then his lips parted and he allowed Justin to kiss him. Justin wrapped his arms around Kevin's neck and pulled him closer, thrusting up with his hips.
Again, Kevin stopped him. "Justin," he said, "have you ever slept with anyone before?"
"Of course," Justin said, nonchalantly.
"Who?"
"Uh. Nick?" Justin said, hopefully.
Kevin gave him another one of those looks that felt like it went right through him.
Justin swallowed. "We, um, kissed. A lot."
Kevin raised an eyebrow.
"A little?" Justin tried again. "Okay, twice, but - "
Kevin shook his head, and Justin was afraid that he was going to be kicked out again, when Kevin suddenly started to chuckle.
That was _not_ the reaction that Justin was looking for, and his pride wouldn't let him stay still while Kevin laughed at him. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, but Kevin caught him from behind.
"Justin," Kevin said, resting his forehead on the centre of Justin's back. "I'm sorry."
Justin bit his lip again, because there was one thing he was _really_ certain of - he was _not_ going to cry, not in front of Kevin, not for any reason. He nodded. "Okay."
"Why are you here?" Kevin asked again, and his voice was quiet, and serious again.
"I can't - " Justin started, then stopped. "I don't know anyone here, and I don't know when I'll be home again," he said. "And, the guys - I'm with them all the time. I couldn't just ask one of them - and then see them on the bus the next day, and have to pretend that nothing happened? I mean, what if I - or if they - " He shook his head. "I couldn't."
"Okay."
"And Nick - I thought - " Justin shook his head. "He just wanted to play. Fool around. He didn't - "
"It's okay," Kevin said.
Justin made himself turn around, and look Kevin straight in the eye. "I don't know you, but I _feel_ like I do," he said. "I mean - "
"I know," Kevin said. He reached out and traced his thumb across Justin's bottom lip, and didn't do anything else at all. When Justin straddled his lap, it was as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
They stopped kissing just long enough for Kevin to slide Justin's t-shirt up over his head and toss it on the floor, and then shift over on the bed, so Justin was lying on his back, with Kevin on top of him, carefully holding himself up until Justin pulled him all the way down. Kevin's knees nudged Justin's legs apart, fitting their bodies together; Justin hadn't lost any of his earlier hardness, and Kevin found himself responding eagerly to the admittedly beautiful young man - especially now that Justin had lost his put-on 'game face.'
He was right, of course, it was easier because they were relative strangers, and yet familiar - Justin reminded him of home, too, but he wasn't like Nick, not as close as a baby brother, not someone Kevin would have to wake up and face over breakfast every morning for the rest of his life. He should probably have regretted that, but he couldn't, not quite.
Instead, he let himself be seduced by Justin's youth and his relative innocence and his eagerness, and in turn seduced Justin with experience and wisdom. It was a mutual trade-off, for each of them to get something that they wanted, and maybe even needed.
Justin wouldn't deny him anything, not until Kevin tried to slow things down, to take some time to explore. Of course, Justin was a sexually frustrated sixteen-year-old; it was amazing that he'd lasted as long as he had already without resorting to humping the furniture. That thought made Kevin chuckle again, but Justin barely noticed, too busy wriggling his hips to kick off his borrowed sweatpants.
And then Justin was completely naked - all long, lean, smooth golden limbs and coltish beauty, unabashed and unashamed of his nudity, a frightening combination of stubborn pride and utter fearlessness. Kevin could barely stand to look at him, felt his hands shake for the first time in a long time, had to close his eyes for a moment under the weight of Justin's fierce kisses. Then his hands rested on Justin's thighs and they parted like waves, smooth-slippery and easy to the touch, and Justin was wrapped around him and they just _fit_ together.
There was no reason on earth why it should have been so easy. It broke every rule of a first time sexual encounter - including Kevin's own - with a singular lack of pain and messiness and misunderstanding. Maybe it was the fact that Justin's body flexed and moved and stayed exactly where Kevin needed it to be, or perhaps it was Kevin's experience that moved it out of the realm of fumbling teenaged awkwardness. Whatever it was, when Kevin lifted Justin's thighs and leaned down to cover his mouth and swallowed his faintly gasped moue of initial pain, even that seemed somehow perfect. Justin's eyes flew open at the same moment that he gasped in breath, his entire body reacting simultaneously to the fact that he was being _fucked_, and it felt _good_, and when Kevin licked the tip of his thumb and brushed it over the head of Justin's cock, he almost leapt right out of his skin.
Kevin wouldn't let him come, not as fast as he wanted to, slowing him down until the orgasm burned like fire behind his eyes and at the base of his throat and all along his spine, pouring out of the sweat on his skin. It wasn't until Kevin leaned over and licked softly at a nipple that Justin lost all control and came, hard and thrusting up into Kevin's hand, caught in rippling waves of release. Kevin's face contorted with something like physical pain as he tried to control himself, but it was impossible to resist the muscles that gripped him like a fist, tightening every second until he, too, came with a swallowed shout, dripping sweat that splashed down like rain and tears on Justin's body.
They stayed caught in that awkward pose for a long time, panting in breath, until Kevin finally had to ease away and Justin reluctantly let him go, if not too far. _That_ gaping emptiness hurt more than the penetration, but Kevin lay down and pulled Justin against him, damp skin and boneless limbs tangled together. Justin blinked up at the dark ceiling and wondered if this deep hollow feeling meant that he was broken, or that he was in love.
It turned out to be something unnameable and yet far less fatal than either of those two choices. Justin yawned and turned his body, burrowing against Kevin's solid warmth, burying himself in bedclothes and exhaustion. The last thing he felt before he fell asleep were Kevin's hands, tight around his waist.
It was the first thing he felt in the morning, as well.