the groundhog said 6 more weeks of winter. then the radio proceeded to talk about how the way to celebrate groundhog's day was to go groundhog hunting with your kids and then roast a select groundhog for a delish feast. this reminded me of the groundhogs (or whatever they were? guinea pigs?) that were roasted on a stick in ecuador and then phoebe ( Read more... )

i wish i was magic.

i'm thinking about taking a certification class to become a personal trainer. its been on my mind on and off. it only takes 6 months, its in waltham and i could get part time job as a trainer after that. why do i like this idea? well. i like people, i like talking about health & fitness, i like being active, i'm good at talking to people, i am good ( Read more... )

another night of not sleeping tackled me and latched on like a fucking leach. i think i did end up sleeping a bit. but i was too hot or too cold or tossing and turning or i just felt this overwhelming DREAD of nothing all night and it was kind of gone when i woke up. i hate anxiety. i hate insomnia. i am so frustrated i want to jump out a window. ( Read more... )

i couldn't sleep at all last night. i think i fell asleep around 1am and then woke up at 4am. not just woke up. but WIDE AWAKE woke up and it sucked ass. i just wish i could sleep this week. its not working out though. i was so tired when i went home too. then once i touched my bed it was like "no sleep for you ( Read more... )

holiday ( Read more... )

DisorderRatingParanoid Personality Disorder:LowSchizoid Personality Disorder:LowSchizotypal Personality Disorder:LowAntisocial Personality Disorder:LowBorderline Personality Disorder:LowHistrionic Personality Disorder:ModerateNarcissistic Personality Disorder:LowAvoidant Personality Disorder:ModerateDependent Personality Disorder:LowObsessive- ( Read more... )

to paint more.
to design some tattoos.
to get a part time job.
to save money.
to take two classes. one art or dance and one sciencey.

i can't believe i just looked up the lyrics to a mariah carey song.

oh
my
god.

i can't wait to go!

i can't wait to see the leaves! and hike! and fresh air!

i can't wait for the halloween party! to see maggie!

suddenly, i am more excited about life.

my goal: overcome negativity inside me, guilt, fear, hesitation and doubt. to bleed the confidence, radiance and positivity i once did.