Step: Chapter 12, Part II
Step: Chapter 12, Part II
chi-eng translated, 6336 words, luhan centric, all members involved, various pairings
"With each step, 15 years of your lives will deplete"
Returning backstage, the manager is expectedly fuming mad, the stylist and coordinators lean against the makeup station, speechless and not far from them sits the CEO present to sign contract papers for the overseas album production.
The atmosphere stiffens, the manager looks at Kris and then points at Chanyeol’s nose, “we settled at 10 minutes! With every one minute delayed, are you aware of how much money you’ve hindered!”
“Don’t yell at him, he was simply following me.” Kris says, pushing the manager’s finger down as the person sitting in the distance watches Kris with interest.
Looking at Kris’ face, the manager frowns, “a further one second shouldn’t be delayed anymore, proceed with the recording this instant.” The manager gestures as he swipes past the painful expressions written on Yixing’s face, Jongin walks towards the kneeling Yixing before looking towards Luhan, “what happened to Yixing?”
Luhan’s expressions darken, Jongin has words at the tip of his tongue but a voice suddenly echoes through the door, “what are you procrastinating about, get on stage now!”
“He can’t dance, at least not today.” Luhan says.
“Really can’t dance?” The manager walks over and clutches Yixing on the shoulder, “just bear with it for a while more, the contract is signed, the plane tickets for tomorrow are booked, you’ll receive proper treatment back in Korea.”
The crowd immerses into a piece of silence, with sweat beaded against his forehead, Yixing shuts his eyes and nods.
“You’ve been saying that for more than a year now,” Kris says, “he is a dancer, if he injures himself permanently, are you taking the rap? Have you got insurance for him?”
“Dancing is his choice,” the manager looks to Kris, “no one is forcing him.”
“That’s right, no one’s forcing him, he’s forcing himself.” Kris walks over and points at Yixing’s immobile waist and the layers of towels wrapped above, “in the future, if he is every disabled, it’s because he asked for it!” He rips the towel off and throws it to the ground, “how much money is this performance worth, how many percentage does he get, is it even enough for him to get healed?”
“Kris.” the CEO seated at the suddenly stands and approaches, “if you have any intention to question the contract, now isn’t the right time and place. Contrastingly, if you refuse to perform as per scheduled, you would be infringing on the contract.” He looks to Kris.
“Stop talking, I’m fine.” Yixing lifts his head, speaking to Kris.
“You’re popular now, you’re a big star, you have wings to fly already, don’t you?” Says the person opposite as he strides towards Kris, smiling and lifting his head as he exchanges gaze with this teen much much taller than him, his expressions however, seem tiny like an ant, “with the stage, your world is at your command, without it, you are nothing. This stage was given to you by the company, the company can; at any time, revoke this privilege.”
Looking at his face, Kris remains speechless for some time.
“A similar advice applies to you.” He opens his mouth, “the wealth allowing this company to function is given by the artistes, one day, when they quit, you can all just sing and dance yourselves.”
Indeed, humans grow, their thoughts expand and lesser control can be held, the manager crosses his arms, “Kris, you’ve said too much, and you will regret it.”
Kris laughs and looks through the window. Outside, the crowd flows as usual, the daily entertainment news get discarded, just like the overdue newspapers.
“Probably.” Kris flashes a smile, “however, I won’t be going on stage today, that way, we probably won’t get to perform, am I right.” He sits down and wraps an arm around Yixing’s shoulders.
“Alright, you won’t dance today, that’s great.” The person opposite smiles, “however in the future, there’ll be chances for you to dance.” He looks to Kris, and exits, the manager eyes the entire crowd and follows suit.
Yixing places his arms on his knees, Luhan lifts his head, both looking at Kris having his head hung down, silent.
The entire location plunges into silence.
Walking over, Jongin tucks his hands inside his pockets, “I’ve never admitted that you’re charming.” He laughs, “but just now, you were definitely handsome.” He snaps his fingers in front of Kris and walks out.
In a corner, the stylist and assistant whisper softly.
“Now that these Chinese are back in the Chinese market, why do I feel like they’ve let the tigers back into the mountains?” Says the stylist who has only been working for 2 months.
“We’ve all experienced it, the company should have taken precautions.” Laughs the assistant softly.
“Glancing at the assistant, the stylist pauses and says, “that one, and that one.” She gently points towards Kris and Luhan in a distance, “those two are like springs; I wonder what will happen when they eventually spring back.”
“Lu?” The assistant shakes her head, “he looks like someone who resigns very well to adversities, doesn’t look like it.”
“On the surface of course he looks that way, you really think he would resign to them?” The stylist shakes his head, “you meet so many different people in a day, you really think you know them that well?”
“There is one I definitely won’t have problems with.” The assistant points to Yixing.
“Haha, the unlimited compression never reveals its spring.” The stylist looks at Yixing located some distance away.
“He has the greatest burden amongst those from the foreign country, in other words, in this little circle, he’s inseparable from the Chinese buddies.” The stylist continues, “if you throw him into the Korean group, he’ll probably shut himself out.”
The assistant falls silent, refraining from giving her opinion.
“Always being polite and warm, professional and cooperative,” the stylist smiles, “it reminds me of one of their seniors.” The assistant looks at the stylist in her eyes.
“The only reason a spring can be compressed is because it hasn’t break through it’s limits,” the stylist continues, “however, if this goes on, it’ll happen soon.”
“You’ve only been with them for 2 months, but you actually know their limits?” The assistant asks.
“What do you think, in the perspective of a dancer.” The stylist smiles, “unlike Kris today, the day he learns to say no, I’m afraid would be the day he leaves.”
Shaking his head, the assistant crosses her arms, “haha, we are indeed a little bored, they’ll have to choose their own paths.”
The stylist takes another look at those familiar yet distant teenagers, and just like the countless amounts of teenage idols she meets on her job, coming from different countries and having different backgrounds, they’ve all gathered on the stage, only for one reason; and it’ll inevidently also be the reason they disperse.
The one factor that never changes is the stage - the one that requires constant need for something fresh and the unending enthusiasm of the fans down stage, with an interval up and another down, resembling the people on stage - some come, and others ago.
The other remaining fact of course, would be her everyday job, beautifying the the pretty faces, watching as their youth diminish with age, as they use their enthusiasm to hide all fatigue, the magic of god, all too beautiful, yet all too cruel.
All too beautiful, yet all too cruel.
Walking upwards, she passes Chanyeol a huge towel and points at Kris, “wipe the water off your heads, don’t catch a cold, both of you.”
“Thank you.” Chanyeol chimes as he retrieves the towel.
“I’m fine, you don’t have to keep watching over me.” Yixing reveals a smile as he looks to the pairs of eyes never leaving their sight then speaks to Kris, “you’re drenched to this extent, aren’t you cold?”
“You really do know how to care for people don’t you,” Luhan says with hint of disdain towards Yixing before turning to look at Kris as he removes both of his sweaters and throws them to Kris.
“You want me to wear this?” Kris examines the apparels in his hands and smiles to Luhan.
Turning back gradually, he squints, “No, I want you to wipe your mouth with it.”
Bending his head and stiffling a laughter, Kris puts on the coat slowly, “it’s too small, Luhan.”
At that instant, Luhan’s silence seems to be on the verge of eruption, “fine then, just put your drenched clothes back on.”
Yixing’s laughter can be heard by the side.
“I really can’t stand the both of you, under a situation like this.......” Tao shakes his head and throws his coat over to Kris.
With two different coats in hand, Kris looks to Yixing, his smile more dazzling than ever with the dimples, he doesn’t even have time to bother about his Luhan and Tao who’s approaching the windows, faking a look of deep thought.
Perhaps, the final destination should just be here.
Passing Tao’s sweater to Chanyeol and hinting for him to wear, he then drapes Luhan’s sweater around Yixing’s waist and sits in a corner, shivering through his wet clothes as he giggles.
Outside, night has fallen, the winter air is strong, one last time, all the best, Luhan.
The sounds of shutters gradually diminish and come to a halt.
“It’s done now.” The wall clock strikes 11, a command echoes from the corner and there are sounds of the camera being retracted.
Luhan’s head throbbed heavily and shutting his eyes, he leans against the familiar shoulder of another. In the peaceful atmosphere, all that is left is the sound of their breathing.
Subsequently, it’s the sounds of the camera being put away and bags being packed. Moving past them, a voice travels, “it’s been hard on you, just treat it as a mandatory lesson for all actors. Also, you better not report this to the police, it’s for your own good.” Shuffling past them, an unfamiliar perfume scent fills the air.
A few people file out and opens the car doors, yet another approaching footstep can be heard, throwing their cell phones back at them, the sound echoes, “contact your friends, be safe.” And then, sounds of the cars driving away can be heard.
Luhan struggles with his very last ounce of consciousness, he sits almost immobile, on the ground as he hugs Kris’ shoulders beside him. One of the cell phone is turned on, only to reveal a lower batter signal, turning his back, Kris retrieves the other and turns it on. Halfway through, Luhan snatches it, only to throw it out in the pouring rain.
“Luhan, what are you doing?” Kris scurries out the house to fetch it, he keys in the passcodes.
“Kris.......” Luhan stretches his arm out, shaking his head in disagreement, Kris proceeds to dial, spilling those ever familiar words to the person on the other end.
Turning his head, Kris sees Luhan fainted beside his legs and throws his phone back in his pocket before carrying Luhan back into the house, “alright, Yixing is almost here.”
Shaking his head with all his might, Luhan grabs hold of Kris’ sleeves. “You’re uncomfortable, aren’t you?” Kris rubs his forehead and empties all his clothes onto Luhan instead, allowing him to rest on his thighs.
Observing the tick tocks of the clock hands on the wall, Luhan feels himself seeping into deep slumber.
“It’s alright.” Says the equally helpless Kris as he supports him with his arm, “if those photos are ever revealed, I’ll do the clarifications.”
Luhan blanks out, he doesn’t speak.
“Don’t be afraid,” Kris rustles Luhan’s hair, “I’ll leave you out of it.” He looks at the still silent Luhan before touching the boy’s forehead scalding forehead again.
“Is my hand cold?” Kris asks.
Luhan nods, clinging onto the other’s hands.
Returning the grasp and clutching his rather burning hand, Kris gazes at him, “If you like it, I’ll just keep it here forever.”
Keep it here forever, yet you think I’m unaware.
By the time Yixing arrives, the rain is pouring even harder.
As he places the outerwear he had brought on Luhan, he removes his and hands it to Kris, Yixing bends and lifts Luhan up into the left backseat of the taxi. Yet, Luhan’s hands tremble has he holds against the car door.
“I’ll get carsickness if I sit in the back.” He speaks through a smile.
Yixing observes Luhan, his face flushed with alcohol and hesitates before lifting him to the front seat. Sitting in, Luhan looks through the rear mirror at the both of them, a tinge of strange relief fills him.
Kris lowers his head and boards on the left side of the car, with a bang, Yixing shuts the door and makes a turn, getting in on the right. Luhan pats the front window gently.
“Back to the city,” he chimes elatedly.
I know very well that all we’ve sacrificed will not return, the only thing I can do now is to sacrifice a set of insurance for all the effort we’ve put in.
Yixing, the compensation for this insurance, is your life.
Pouring rain splashes fiercely down the front windows, the busy windscreen wipers continue its back and forth motion. Leaning forward to check on Luhan, Kris mutters, “please go faster, sir.”
“What exactly happened?” Yixing turns to look at Kris.
“Nothing, we’ll talk when we get back.” Kris wipes his face and lifts to look out the windows.
“Yixing,” Luhan leans against the seat and turns before taking the rotary out his wrists, “this... belongs to you.”
Holding on to the rotary, Yixing freezes for seconds, “you don’t want to wear it anymore?”
“You are the rightful owner,” Luhan smiles, “having someone else wear it, it won’t work.”
Yixing grabs hold of the beads, his eyes dropping, Luhan beams as he wears them on for the other.
Then, he turns to Kris.
“Hey.” He lifts up his limped arms and snaps.
Kris returns the gaze, moving closer. On the opposite end, Luhan’s smile appears a little vague.
“We succeeded.” Luhan laughs.
“What are you saying?” Kris seems suspicious, holding his hands gently.
“We have succeeded.” Luhan whispers lightly into his ears and then pulls his hand away from his.
Sitting still on his seat, Luhan’s view is sliced again and again by windscreen wiper. As they approach the crossroads, the truck is stationed there, awaiting their arriving.
Wandering through the windows and out at the real work, the patterof the rain drops become a deafening melodic tune. Just like another tragic ending, the melody and the ending of his life continues playing until this point - it finally reaches its finale. Shutting his eyes, his memories scatter unbridled in the short period of time, too many faces and too many moments erupt through his brain, some vivid, others vague, and some he never gave second thoughts about.
In that instant, sounds by his ear seem mournful; yet he doesn’t feel a tinge of pain, everything is over.
Disembarking the car far too disfigured by a tree, Luhan observes the people in the car and everything else around him. The co-driver’s seat of the truck is ajar, yet no one is seen inside.
Some time passes, passing vehicles start to stop and check, then calling the police. The screeching siren of ambulance remains as familiar, Yixing in the backseat and himself in the co-driver’s seat are soon lifted onto stretchers.
Yet, himself on the stretcher however, is pronounced dead.
Kris, what’s going on, do not hinder the doctors’ duties.
What a familiar scene. Thank god, it isn’t all that heartbreaking this time.
Opening his eyes, Kris turns and glances at the stone wall, then at all the cash and cellphone in his hands.
“Luhan!” He bellows as he gets to his feet, the birds in the sky chirp, as though in reply.
Bending over, he pants heavily and coughs violently. Unable to support himself who has lost all composure, he kneels on the ground, the tears fall uncontrollably in a straight regime onto the ground, seeping through the ground, mixing with the dust.
Slowly lying down, he gently grabs soil and weeds from the ground.........
It feels like he’s holding the other person’s hand.
It’s alright, I’ll take care of it all, believe me, we have been the best partners; and will be, forever and always. Even if I’m the only one left.
I just need some time....... Don’t look down on me.
--
Yixing stares at the entire house fill with nails thrown by Kris, by the side rests Luhan’s white iphone, the exact phone he had been in search for for ages.
“I need some time alone.” And Kris shuts him out that instant.
Opening the phone albums on the phone, the latest photo was taken today, Luhan’s birthday, it depicts the ever familiar forest and in the corner lies the red arrow and Luhan’s shoes.
“Yixing, if I ever want to visit this place in the future, you have to stop me, no matter what.”
In his terribly unorganised, the clues linger. The covered body on the stretcher a month ago, the rotary returned to himself at the very last instant, and the pair of lost shoes.
Last update: Clown, March 17, 2013.
Slowly approaching his room, Yixing picks up the brochure left lying absentmindedly from a month ago, the spectacular sight of the mountains still remain as attractive. Oning the computer, he steps right into Luhan’s old trails, searching for a route and the web page.
Just beside the detailed description is a magnificent photo and detailed route maps, Yixing scrolls downwards:
Last update: Clown, March 17, 2013.
--
In the brightly lit house, Clown smiles vaguely at Luhan, “you are back.”
“This time, I don’t even have to knock before entering.” Luhan turns to look at the locked doors.
“Of course, you’ve paid a rather expensive entrance ticket.” Clown stares as he passes a bunch of keys, “my successor, thank you for relieving me, from today onwards, you will be Clown.”
“This bunch of keys will open only when someone knocks.” Clown continues, “Look, the bright corridor outside is a place where time is extremely vague, as long as you set your eyes on a particular target with a difference of less than 60 days, I can open it for you at any time. It is the reason why I could open the door for you on the 17th of March even when I have experienced that day.” Clown points at the locked door behind Luhan.
“It is a brightly lit house, and also a whitened prison, you need to attract your successor into the same trap one step at a time until his life ends, otherwise, you will never be relieved from this.” Clown speaks, looking at Luhan.
“You will also be entitled to a chance of changing faces and voice with a stranger as you return to the past and make plans for the future, it will also be your one and only chance at luring your successor. Heed my advice, don’t put it to waste.” Clown says, “moreover, I’m afraid your successor has already appeared.” And as he speaks, he points towards the binoculars, in it is Yixing, retrieving his money and carefully counting the change to purchase his bus ticket.”
“Who are you?” Luhan utters calmly.
“I’m....” Clown lowers his head and giggles, “to you, I may be just a stranger.” He glances at Luhan, “I am your senior, really,” he laughs, as though joking, “I just didn’t get a chance to debut, the few of us didn’t.”
Just like the rainy night awaiting by the restaurant, just like the kissing photos which had not appear obscene.
Unable to debut, they start to age. All of the sake of living, they start doing hideous work for the company, and as matters start growing, their way of life had gradually seasoned.
Shutting the camera, “it’s been hard on you, just treat it as a mandatory class for actors.” He approaches the side of the car and throws the phone in before taking out a jacket back to the hut, “put on your clothes.” He speaks to Kris, looking at Luhan who is in a rather bad condition.
“Starting up the car, he whips out the phone and speed dials, on the other end, a familiar voice sounds.
“Hyung? I’ve been waiting at the dorm for a really long time and the both of them still haven’t appeared.” Yun says, staring at Yixing standing by the door, “but that Lay has been standing there all the while.”
“Stop waiting, both of them got into my car.” He says, “it’s completed.”
“Will they report to the police?” Yun asks.
“Probably not,” he looks in the back seat, “both phones are on my car. Get a car to pick them, otherwise there is no way they can return, hire one, don’t use the company’s car, just say you’re doing a friend a favour. When you get into the city, give them some money and drop them off anywhere.”
“Ok.” Yun’s voice travels, “hyung, you really sympathize them a lot, have you got the photos?”
“Cut your crap,” he speaks into the phone, smiling, “hurry up.” Speaking, he keeps the money.
Clown stared peaceful at the glowing door, “I think if he wasn’t scalded, he would have debuted. Why am I saying all these to you anymore, you’re probably uninterested.” He turns to face Luhan.
“Continue,” Luhan chuckles, “it’s left with the two of us anyway.”
Yun’s accident was something him and his partner had no way of changing, despite their umpteen times trying. And at his last chance, he finally succeeded in switching seats. Having fetched someone and sitting in the taxi, he felt an immensely incomparable sense of relief walking towards the disfigured car, he’d ran to the perplexed ending - the co-driver seat of the truck.
Rain pours, the front window of the truck appears to be blur.
The familiar yet strange shadow distances further and further, “Clown?” he pouts, the person in front doesn’t reply.
“I’ve said this before, you can make use of a strangers face and voice to amend history and play the future for the very last time, just like how my predecessor had, and just like how I had.”
He had forgotten how he had summoned himself into the alley to receive a punch instead of lending a lighter. Yanking off the jade from the unconscious person, he’d changed into drenched clothes and put on a hat. In the shadow of darkness, he got into the black buick of fate for the very last time.
“Contact your friends, take care.” He changes the script and the possesions he returned.
“I’m sorry, I used Yixing’s death to replace Yun; also to replace myself, even if myself on that side and my present self doesn’t hold any relation anymore.” Clown looks to the door.
He still remembers, after all, the farewell in that darkness.
-
"Everything's here," he stuffs the piece of jade symbolizing peace and harmony with the broken string into the camera bag, handing it through the window to Yun in another car.
"Be careful."
"Why do you sound so weird?"
Yun is unable to see the person across him in the dark.
"We finished what we had to do, why are you still wearing your mask?"
"Oh...nothing." he hides his face even deeper into the shadows, "I'm gonna go buy a pack of cigarettes." He says as he opens the car door and walks out. "Good bye." He says with his back turned.
Yun watches in confusion as he walks into the convenient store, "why would you say good bye just to go buy cigarettes?"
The man never comes out from the store, a few minutes later, Yun receives a call from the hospital, "your friend Sung is at the hospital right now with a concussion, can you come pay the fees?"
"Hospital?" Yun creases his eyebrows and looks up toward the store.
After hanging up the phone, Yun hurries into the store but fails to find the familiar figure. He opens the restroom door and discovers the face mask quietly lying on the floor.
Clown slowly walks toward the cliff of light. "The changes made by this step will forever remain in history, and of course, steps made by other people could still change it slightly. But this time, we get to decide the date and span of time of step, remember the purple Samsung camera? And the messily printed flyers?" He smiles at Luhan, "see, this itself has a low possibility of happening, but it worked! Life is made up of coincidences, right?"
"Who was your partner?" Says Luhan, "do I know him?"
"You should," clown smiles at Luhan again, “he is the owner of Happy Times.” he says.
After a moment of silence, Luhan chuckles, shaking his head, “You get to decide the date and time we step back, right?”
“I have my limitations too,” he says, “like I can’t send you back before you guys met, I have to give the first person stepping two chances to let the second person step.” he pauses for a bit, “no, I shouldn’t be saying “I” anymore, it should be you, you’re Clown.”
“Come, come pick the time for your last step,” Clown sweeps off the numbers floating on the screen, pointing to the marking scale to control time, “this time you’ll return to the environment you’re familiar with, but remember you’re just an non-existent stranger, you can’t commit suicide to replace your own death.”
Luhan walks up to the scale, twisting it with slight interest, at last he picks a random day toward the end of 2011.
“Are you sure you want to step back so early?” says Clown, “ is it a special day?”
“Nothing special,” the side of Luhan’s lips lifts up, “I’m just casually going back to wander around.”
Clown looks at him, “This is your last chance.”
Luhan puts his hands in his pockets, “I know,” he laughs, “I plan on going back to give Yixing a couple of punches so he'll be stupid enough to do what I tell him to." Luhan looks over to him, "how do I come back?"
"Just pat on the door." Says clown.
“Understood. Then I'll be on my way. Luhan says as he walks towards the cliff of light.
"Luhan." Clown calls out from his back.
"Yes?" Luhan turns his head in the glowing light. Clown pauses, "don't blame me." He lifts up his head to look at Luhan.
Luhan looks back at the cliff of light, "someone has to stay here, right?" He gives clown a playful smirk, walking into the light without looking back.
Lowering his head, Clown looks at the bright cliff of light and places the keys, perfume bottle, and pen on the floor.
-
Luhan stands by the busy road, examining his face carefully with his hands, not knowing whether it looks nice or not.
A cluster of young boys walk on the street across the road, you're being too flashy even for trainees, he turns to the side and shakes his head, especially the one in the front named Luhan, is he trying to look like a thug?
They walk into a restaurant, the one they always used to go together.
Sitting at a table on the corner, Luhan watches the group across the room as they laugh and talk, he searches his pockets for all the money he has and places it on the table, then starts to read the menu without a word.
Chanyeol and Baekhyun finish ordering their food, Tao sits on the side with his eyes widened trying his hardest to understand their conversation in Korean; Jongin leans back in forth on his chair, slightly protesting the food Baekhyun ordered.
What am I doing?
Playing my phone out of boredom with Sehun.
Luhan calls over the waitress, pointing to the menu, "open this champagne for them to celebrate, it's on me." Says Luhan softly, "just give it to the tall guy." He says as he points to Kris.
"What are they celebrating?" The waitress asks politely.
"Celebrating...." Luhan doesn't know to reply, "to celebrate the big thing next year."
"Okay." She smiles, "anything for yourself?"
"Me?" Luhan flips through the menu once more, then calculats how much money he has left from buying the champagne, "I....uh...just water please."
The waitress pauses, "alright, please wait a moment."
A couple minutes pass, the waitress walks toward Kris with a bottle of Champagne in her hands, pointing in Luhan’s direction, and whispers in his ears.
Kris turns his head, looking at luhan across the room.
"Do you want it open now?" Asks the waitress.
"Hang on." Kris replies.
"What is it Kris hyung?" Chanyeol asks.
"That stranger bought us a bottle of champagne." Kris turns to reply.
Sehun swings his legs, sitting next to Luhan, "there have been more and more weird people lately."
"This isn't cheap." Jongin studies the bottle.
"Better be cautious with things like this." Junmyeon joins in, "this is a sensitive period."
Yixing turns his head to look at the stranger in the corner, "he looks like he's poor, he only ordered a glass of water for himself."
Luhan pats him on the head, "this is why stranger men crushes on you, eat your food.”
Kris calls over the waitress again and asks, "how much is this?"
The waitress says a number.
Pausing for a moment, Kris speaks again, "thank him for me please, we appreciate the thought, it hasn't been opened yet, you can return it to him."
"Uh...." The waitress says, "please don't make this hard on me."
Kris smiles and waves his hand, looking back as he gets up to walk over there.
Luhan begins to move around uncomfortably in the corner.
"Hello." Kris reaches out his right hand politely.
"Hello." Luhan holds out his sweaty palm for a handshake.
"This is the champagne you wanted to open for us?" Kris sits down.
Luhan nods, running his fingers along the beautiful bottle, "yes, champagne," he gives Kris a quick and admiring glance, "to drink when you're happy."
Kris falls silence for a moment, looking at the man across from him. "Thank you for the thought, what's your name?"
Luhan looks at the man in front of him, tongue tied, “Haha…. My...." He stutters, "I, I don't have a name..."
"Sir, we appreciate what you're trying to do, we wanted to order one of the same price for you as well, we just didn't bring enough money." Kris laughs, lowering his head, "so here's your champagne back, thank you anyway."
After pausing for a moment, Luhan looks at the table with a chuckle, "you're welcome."
"Then... Sorry to be a bother." Kris gets up, giving Luhan another smile, then walks back to his table.
Luhan finishes his water with a smile, calling over the waitress, "I'm ready to pay." He pushes the cluster of cash towards her.
"Your glass of water doesn't cost this much." Says the waitress awkwardly.
"I'm.... buying the champagne." Luhan smiles at her, getting up with the bottle of champagne in his hand.
He stands by the door, turning back to look at the table full of people for the last time. Kris looks up from eating to meet the strangers eyes, a sea of different waiters and customers walking between them.
Fix your hair, its messy.
Kris watches as the stranger smiles and shows him with hand gestures. A waiter walks past before his eyes, when kris looks over again, the stranger is nowhere to be seen, just a bottle of unopened champagne sitting next to the door.
"To drink when you're happy." Kris slowly walks toward the door and picks up the bottle, as if pulled by some strange force, he looks outside.
The street is filled with cars and pedestrians; he looks around, failing to find a familiar face.
When he returns to the room, Clown is long gone, just a chain of keys, a pen and a perfume bottle.
No, he misspoke; Clown is still here, because he is Clown.
Walking over to the telescope, Luhan sees an old friend, climbing up the mountain with exhaustion, he appears to be looking for something in the woods, he walks out with the hammer, the one Luhan threw out last time.
He looks around, taking out a nail from his pocket, and steps onto the red arrow. The old friend begins a new adventure, a few moments later, he falls into deep slumber.
The red letters on the screen reminds Luhan its time for him to pick a time for the new adventurous traveler.
The corners of him mouth lift up, Luhan turns the scale to September 17th, 2012.
He feels as if he suddenly fell into a seat, the crowd goes wild cheering around Yixing, the person next to him hugs him, his eardrums about to shatter. "Dumbfounded much? Go!" He looks to his side, its Luhan pushing him forward, Yixing gets pulled up on stage, everything is a blur.
The MC says the familiar words, he already watched the heartwarming video playing on the big screen behind them. Tao's eyes are red trying to hold in his tears, K waves excitedly at them offstage.
Kris makes his speech, Luhan says something as well, the trophy gets passed to him. He looks down at their first award, Yixing raises his head to look up, narrowing his already-tearing-up eyes, focusing on a non-existent point somewhere in the distance.
Luhan, is that you?
"Your turn to say something." Kris holds onto his shoulder as Luhan pushes his forward by his waist; he stares at the mic before his eyes, the MC tries to calm the crowd down.
Yixing falls quiet in front of the mic.
Luhan, you're listening, right?
Yixing looks up at the non-existent point in the distance again.
"I've never thought of myself as smart, I can never see things clearly for the way they are." His grip tightens on the award trophy.
"But I'm definitely lucky." He lowers his head with a smile, "the luckiest thing that happened to me isn't debuting or becoming famous, its meeting you guys" he looks into the far distance.
"If I had the chance to do things over, I would still go to Korea in 2008," he smiles, "I will wait for you guys at the same place, it doesn't matter how hard things are, as long as you're by my side, I'm happy." The members next to him pats him on the shoulder.
"If I had the chance to do things over," his voice shakes as he looks down, "I will do everything in my power..."
His voice becomes quiet, only loud enough for himself to hear.
"Do everything in my power, to have you by my side again."
The light filled room remains the way it was a month ago, on the other side of the white door, someone is stumbling over their footsteps toward the room.
Dong dong dong! He knocks on the door.
Dong dong dong! "Is anyone there?" He asks in a detecting tone.
Sitting on the other side of the room, Luhan holds the silver keys in his hands, facing the bright cliff of light, he seems to have fallen in a beautiful dream.
"Is anyone there?" The person is leaning against the door.
Dong dong dong! Dong dong dong! He keeps knocking on the door stubbornly.
"There's a door to your left," says Luhan calmly, "just walk through there, its unlocked."
The person on the other side falls silent for a moment, followed by the sound of fast knocking,
“Luhan! You’re in there?! Open the door!”
Dropping down his eyebrows, the person on this side of the door begins to speak, “I’m not Luhan, my name is Clown.”
“No.” The person on the other side stubbornly repeats his judgment, “you are Luhan, you can’t lie to me.”
Batting his long lashes, Luhan shakes his head; smiling, “do you really want to save Luhan? walk through that door and he will come back to life.”
The man on the other side hesitates, “are you serious?’
Luhan laughs, playing with the keys in his hands, “Of course I’m serious.”
“Luhan....” the man on the other side presses his forehead against the door, “please open the door, I want to see you.....”
“I’m not Luhan, and I don’t have the keys.” Luhan leans his head by the door as he watches a strand of beads pass through from under the door.
“Do you remember these beads? Return them to me when you come back.” says the man outside the door with determination, “if you lie to me I will just keep coming, I already know how.”
Luhan touches the beads, he does not speak.
Silence fills the air for a, while, the person outside leans his back against the door, “I miss you.”
I know.
Luhan sits down on the floor, playing with his new toy.
“We all miss you,” Yixing’s teardrops fall onto the dustless ground, “You have to come back.”
Luhan nods his head, sitting on the floor, a teardrop quietly slide down from the corner of his eye without a sound.
Yixing slowly walks toward the small door, he rubs his red eyes and turns to speak softly, “Good-bye, we will wait for you." He waits for a reply, but no one replies to his waiting; he turns around, walking through the small door.
Outside, it’s a piece of silence.
The cheap strand of beads slowly slip to the floor from his hands; sitting on the inner side of the door, the boy looks up, finally letting his tears break free and roll down his cheek as they please.
Forgive me for not wanting to say goodbye.........
Because I know, this is farewell.
Will update the epilogue, author's note and pdf download link sometime soon! c: (maybe tomorrow, pls wait for it~)
Original fic
Translated by heecups and ♡
Please ask before reposting!
chi-eng translated, 6336 words, luhan centric, all members involved, various pairings
"With each step, 15 years of your lives will deplete"
Returning backstage, the manager is expectedly fuming mad, the stylist and coordinators lean against the makeup station, speechless and not far from them sits the CEO present to sign contract papers for the overseas album production.
The atmosphere stiffens, the manager looks at Kris and then points at Chanyeol’s nose, “we settled at 10 minutes! With every one minute delayed, are you aware of how much money you’ve hindered!”
“Don’t yell at him, he was simply following me.” Kris says, pushing the manager’s finger down as the person sitting in the distance watches Kris with interest.
Looking at Kris’ face, the manager frowns, “a further one second shouldn’t be delayed anymore, proceed with the recording this instant.” The manager gestures as he swipes past the painful expressions written on Yixing’s face, Jongin walks towards the kneeling Yixing before looking towards Luhan, “what happened to Yixing?”
Luhan’s expressions darken, Jongin has words at the tip of his tongue but a voice suddenly echoes through the door, “what are you procrastinating about, get on stage now!”
“He can’t dance, at least not today.” Luhan says.
“Really can’t dance?” The manager walks over and clutches Yixing on the shoulder, “just bear with it for a while more, the contract is signed, the plane tickets for tomorrow are booked, you’ll receive proper treatment back in Korea.”
The crowd immerses into a piece of silence, with sweat beaded against his forehead, Yixing shuts his eyes and nods.
“You’ve been saying that for more than a year now,” Kris says, “he is a dancer, if he injures himself permanently, are you taking the rap? Have you got insurance for him?”
“Dancing is his choice,” the manager looks to Kris, “no one is forcing him.”
“That’s right, no one’s forcing him, he’s forcing himself.” Kris walks over and points at Yixing’s immobile waist and the layers of towels wrapped above, “in the future, if he is every disabled, it’s because he asked for it!” He rips the towel off and throws it to the ground, “how much money is this performance worth, how many percentage does he get, is it even enough for him to get healed?”
“Kris.” the CEO seated at the suddenly stands and approaches, “if you have any intention to question the contract, now isn’t the right time and place. Contrastingly, if you refuse to perform as per scheduled, you would be infringing on the contract.” He looks to Kris.
“Stop talking, I’m fine.” Yixing lifts his head, speaking to Kris.
“You’re popular now, you’re a big star, you have wings to fly already, don’t you?” Says the person opposite as he strides towards Kris, smiling and lifting his head as he exchanges gaze with this teen much much taller than him, his expressions however, seem tiny like an ant, “with the stage, your world is at your command, without it, you are nothing. This stage was given to you by the company, the company can; at any time, revoke this privilege.”
Looking at his face, Kris remains speechless for some time.
“A similar advice applies to you.” He opens his mouth, “the wealth allowing this company to function is given by the artistes, one day, when they quit, you can all just sing and dance yourselves.”
Indeed, humans grow, their thoughts expand and lesser control can be held, the manager crosses his arms, “Kris, you’ve said too much, and you will regret it.”
Kris laughs and looks through the window. Outside, the crowd flows as usual, the daily entertainment news get discarded, just like the overdue newspapers.
“Probably.” Kris flashes a smile, “however, I won’t be going on stage today, that way, we probably won’t get to perform, am I right.” He sits down and wraps an arm around Yixing’s shoulders.
“Alright, you won’t dance today, that’s great.” The person opposite smiles, “however in the future, there’ll be chances for you to dance.” He looks to Kris, and exits, the manager eyes the entire crowd and follows suit.
Yixing places his arms on his knees, Luhan lifts his head, both looking at Kris having his head hung down, silent.
The entire location plunges into silence.
Walking over, Jongin tucks his hands inside his pockets, “I’ve never admitted that you’re charming.” He laughs, “but just now, you were definitely handsome.” He snaps his fingers in front of Kris and walks out.
In a corner, the stylist and assistant whisper softly.
“Now that these Chinese are back in the Chinese market, why do I feel like they’ve let the tigers back into the mountains?” Says the stylist who has only been working for 2 months.
“We’ve all experienced it, the company should have taken precautions.” Laughs the assistant softly.
“Glancing at the assistant, the stylist pauses and says, “that one, and that one.” She gently points towards Kris and Luhan in a distance, “those two are like springs; I wonder what will happen when they eventually spring back.”
“Lu?” The assistant shakes her head, “he looks like someone who resigns very well to adversities, doesn’t look like it.”
“On the surface of course he looks that way, you really think he would resign to them?” The stylist shakes his head, “you meet so many different people in a day, you really think you know them that well?”
“There is one I definitely won’t have problems with.” The assistant points to Yixing.
“Haha, the unlimited compression never reveals its spring.” The stylist looks at Yixing located some distance away.
“He has the greatest burden amongst those from the foreign country, in other words, in this little circle, he’s inseparable from the Chinese buddies.” The stylist continues, “if you throw him into the Korean group, he’ll probably shut himself out.”
The assistant falls silent, refraining from giving her opinion.
“Always being polite and warm, professional and cooperative,” the stylist smiles, “it reminds me of one of their seniors.” The assistant looks at the stylist in her eyes.
“The only reason a spring can be compressed is because it hasn’t break through it’s limits,” the stylist continues, “however, if this goes on, it’ll happen soon.”
“You’ve only been with them for 2 months, but you actually know their limits?” The assistant asks.
“What do you think, in the perspective of a dancer.” The stylist smiles, “unlike Kris today, the day he learns to say no, I’m afraid would be the day he leaves.”
Shaking his head, the assistant crosses her arms, “haha, we are indeed a little bored, they’ll have to choose their own paths.”
The stylist takes another look at those familiar yet distant teenagers, and just like the countless amounts of teenage idols she meets on her job, coming from different countries and having different backgrounds, they’ve all gathered on the stage, only for one reason; and it’ll inevidently also be the reason they disperse.
The one factor that never changes is the stage - the one that requires constant need for something fresh and the unending enthusiasm of the fans down stage, with an interval up and another down, resembling the people on stage - some come, and others ago.
The other remaining fact of course, would be her everyday job, beautifying the the pretty faces, watching as their youth diminish with age, as they use their enthusiasm to hide all fatigue, the magic of god, all too beautiful, yet all too cruel.
All too beautiful, yet all too cruel.
Walking upwards, she passes Chanyeol a huge towel and points at Kris, “wipe the water off your heads, don’t catch a cold, both of you.”
“Thank you.” Chanyeol chimes as he retrieves the towel.
“I’m fine, you don’t have to keep watching over me.” Yixing reveals a smile as he looks to the pairs of eyes never leaving their sight then speaks to Kris, “you’re drenched to this extent, aren’t you cold?”
“You really do know how to care for people don’t you,” Luhan says with hint of disdain towards Yixing before turning to look at Kris as he removes both of his sweaters and throws them to Kris.
“You want me to wear this?” Kris examines the apparels in his hands and smiles to Luhan.
Turning back gradually, he squints, “No, I want you to wipe your mouth with it.”
Bending his head and stiffling a laughter, Kris puts on the coat slowly, “it’s too small, Luhan.”
At that instant, Luhan’s silence seems to be on the verge of eruption, “fine then, just put your drenched clothes back on.”
Yixing’s laughter can be heard by the side.
“I really can’t stand the both of you, under a situation like this.......” Tao shakes his head and throws his coat over to Kris.
With two different coats in hand, Kris looks to Yixing, his smile more dazzling than ever with the dimples, he doesn’t even have time to bother about his Luhan and Tao who’s approaching the windows, faking a look of deep thought.
Perhaps, the final destination should just be here.
Passing Tao’s sweater to Chanyeol and hinting for him to wear, he then drapes Luhan’s sweater around Yixing’s waist and sits in a corner, shivering through his wet clothes as he giggles.
Outside, night has fallen, the winter air is strong, one last time, all the best, Luhan.
The sounds of shutters gradually diminish and come to a halt.
“It’s done now.” The wall clock strikes 11, a command echoes from the corner and there are sounds of the camera being retracted.
Luhan’s head throbbed heavily and shutting his eyes, he leans against the familiar shoulder of another. In the peaceful atmosphere, all that is left is the sound of their breathing.
Subsequently, it’s the sounds of the camera being put away and bags being packed. Moving past them, a voice travels, “it’s been hard on you, just treat it as a mandatory lesson for all actors. Also, you better not report this to the police, it’s for your own good.” Shuffling past them, an unfamiliar perfume scent fills the air.
A few people file out and opens the car doors, yet another approaching footstep can be heard, throwing their cell phones back at them, the sound echoes, “contact your friends, be safe.” And then, sounds of the cars driving away can be heard.
Luhan struggles with his very last ounce of consciousness, he sits almost immobile, on the ground as he hugs Kris’ shoulders beside him. One of the cell phone is turned on, only to reveal a lower batter signal, turning his back, Kris retrieves the other and turns it on. Halfway through, Luhan snatches it, only to throw it out in the pouring rain.
“Luhan, what are you doing?” Kris scurries out the house to fetch it, he keys in the passcodes.
“Kris.......” Luhan stretches his arm out, shaking his head in disagreement, Kris proceeds to dial, spilling those ever familiar words to the person on the other end.
Turning his head, Kris sees Luhan fainted beside his legs and throws his phone back in his pocket before carrying Luhan back into the house, “alright, Yixing is almost here.”
Shaking his head with all his might, Luhan grabs hold of Kris’ sleeves. “You’re uncomfortable, aren’t you?” Kris rubs his forehead and empties all his clothes onto Luhan instead, allowing him to rest on his thighs.
Observing the tick tocks of the clock hands on the wall, Luhan feels himself seeping into deep slumber.
“It’s alright.” Says the equally helpless Kris as he supports him with his arm, “if those photos are ever revealed, I’ll do the clarifications.”
Luhan blanks out, he doesn’t speak.
“Don’t be afraid,” Kris rustles Luhan’s hair, “I’ll leave you out of it.” He looks at the still silent Luhan before touching the boy’s forehead scalding forehead again.
“Is my hand cold?” Kris asks.
Luhan nods, clinging onto the other’s hands.
Returning the grasp and clutching his rather burning hand, Kris gazes at him, “If you like it, I’ll just keep it here forever.”
Keep it here forever, yet you think I’m unaware.
By the time Yixing arrives, the rain is pouring even harder.
As he places the outerwear he had brought on Luhan, he removes his and hands it to Kris, Yixing bends and lifts Luhan up into the left backseat of the taxi. Yet, Luhan’s hands tremble has he holds against the car door.
“I’ll get carsickness if I sit in the back.” He speaks through a smile.
Yixing observes Luhan, his face flushed with alcohol and hesitates before lifting him to the front seat. Sitting in, Luhan looks through the rear mirror at the both of them, a tinge of strange relief fills him.
Kris lowers his head and boards on the left side of the car, with a bang, Yixing shuts the door and makes a turn, getting in on the right. Luhan pats the front window gently.
“Back to the city,” he chimes elatedly.
I know very well that all we’ve sacrificed will not return, the only thing I can do now is to sacrifice a set of insurance for all the effort we’ve put in.
Yixing, the compensation for this insurance, is your life.
Pouring rain splashes fiercely down the front windows, the busy windscreen wipers continue its back and forth motion. Leaning forward to check on Luhan, Kris mutters, “please go faster, sir.”
“What exactly happened?” Yixing turns to look at Kris.
“Nothing, we’ll talk when we get back.” Kris wipes his face and lifts to look out the windows.
“Yixing,” Luhan leans against the seat and turns before taking the rotary out his wrists, “this... belongs to you.”
Holding on to the rotary, Yixing freezes for seconds, “you don’t want to wear it anymore?”
“You are the rightful owner,” Luhan smiles, “having someone else wear it, it won’t work.”
Yixing grabs hold of the beads, his eyes dropping, Luhan beams as he wears them on for the other.
Then, he turns to Kris.
“Hey.” He lifts up his limped arms and snaps.
Kris returns the gaze, moving closer. On the opposite end, Luhan’s smile appears a little vague.
“We succeeded.” Luhan laughs.
“What are you saying?” Kris seems suspicious, holding his hands gently.
“We have succeeded.” Luhan whispers lightly into his ears and then pulls his hand away from his.
Sitting still on his seat, Luhan’s view is sliced again and again by windscreen wiper. As they approach the crossroads, the truck is stationed there, awaiting their arriving.
Wandering through the windows and out at the real work, the patterof the rain drops become a deafening melodic tune. Just like another tragic ending, the melody and the ending of his life continues playing until this point - it finally reaches its finale. Shutting his eyes, his memories scatter unbridled in the short period of time, too many faces and too many moments erupt through his brain, some vivid, others vague, and some he never gave second thoughts about.
In that instant, sounds by his ear seem mournful; yet he doesn’t feel a tinge of pain, everything is over.
Disembarking the car far too disfigured by a tree, Luhan observes the people in the car and everything else around him. The co-driver’s seat of the truck is ajar, yet no one is seen inside.
Some time passes, passing vehicles start to stop and check, then calling the police. The screeching siren of ambulance remains as familiar, Yixing in the backseat and himself in the co-driver’s seat are soon lifted onto stretchers.
Yet, himself on the stretcher however, is pronounced dead.
Kris, what’s going on, do not hinder the doctors’ duties.
What a familiar scene. Thank god, it isn’t all that heartbreaking this time.
Opening his eyes, Kris turns and glances at the stone wall, then at all the cash and cellphone in his hands.
“Luhan!” He bellows as he gets to his feet, the birds in the sky chirp, as though in reply.
Bending over, he pants heavily and coughs violently. Unable to support himself who has lost all composure, he kneels on the ground, the tears fall uncontrollably in a straight regime onto the ground, seeping through the ground, mixing with the dust.
Slowly lying down, he gently grabs soil and weeds from the ground.........
It feels like he’s holding the other person’s hand.
It’s alright, I’ll take care of it all, believe me, we have been the best partners; and will be, forever and always. Even if I’m the only one left.
I just need some time....... Don’t look down on me.
--
Yixing stares at the entire house fill with nails thrown by Kris, by the side rests Luhan’s white iphone, the exact phone he had been in search for for ages.
“I need some time alone.” And Kris shuts him out that instant.
Opening the phone albums on the phone, the latest photo was taken today, Luhan’s birthday, it depicts the ever familiar forest and in the corner lies the red arrow and Luhan’s shoes.
“Yixing, if I ever want to visit this place in the future, you have to stop me, no matter what.”
In his terribly unorganised, the clues linger. The covered body on the stretcher a month ago, the rotary returned to himself at the very last instant, and the pair of lost shoes.
Last update: Clown, March 17, 2013.
Slowly approaching his room, Yixing picks up the brochure left lying absentmindedly from a month ago, the spectacular sight of the mountains still remain as attractive. Oning the computer, he steps right into Luhan’s old trails, searching for a route and the web page.
Just beside the detailed description is a magnificent photo and detailed route maps, Yixing scrolls downwards:
Last update: Clown, March 17, 2013.
--
In the brightly lit house, Clown smiles vaguely at Luhan, “you are back.”
“This time, I don’t even have to knock before entering.” Luhan turns to look at the locked doors.
“Of course, you’ve paid a rather expensive entrance ticket.” Clown stares as he passes a bunch of keys, “my successor, thank you for relieving me, from today onwards, you will be Clown.”
“This bunch of keys will open only when someone knocks.” Clown continues, “Look, the bright corridor outside is a place where time is extremely vague, as long as you set your eyes on a particular target with a difference of less than 60 days, I can open it for you at any time. It is the reason why I could open the door for you on the 17th of March even when I have experienced that day.” Clown points at the locked door behind Luhan.
“It is a brightly lit house, and also a whitened prison, you need to attract your successor into the same trap one step at a time until his life ends, otherwise, you will never be relieved from this.” Clown speaks, looking at Luhan.
“You will also be entitled to a chance of changing faces and voice with a stranger as you return to the past and make plans for the future, it will also be your one and only chance at luring your successor. Heed my advice, don’t put it to waste.” Clown says, “moreover, I’m afraid your successor has already appeared.” And as he speaks, he points towards the binoculars, in it is Yixing, retrieving his money and carefully counting the change to purchase his bus ticket.”
“Who are you?” Luhan utters calmly.
“I’m....” Clown lowers his head and giggles, “to you, I may be just a stranger.” He glances at Luhan, “I am your senior, really,” he laughs, as though joking, “I just didn’t get a chance to debut, the few of us didn’t.”
Just like the rainy night awaiting by the restaurant, just like the kissing photos which had not appear obscene.
Unable to debut, they start to age. All of the sake of living, they start doing hideous work for the company, and as matters start growing, their way of life had gradually seasoned.
Shutting the camera, “it’s been hard on you, just treat it as a mandatory class for actors.” He approaches the side of the car and throws the phone in before taking out a jacket back to the hut, “put on your clothes.” He speaks to Kris, looking at Luhan who is in a rather bad condition.
“Starting up the car, he whips out the phone and speed dials, on the other end, a familiar voice sounds.
“Hyung? I’ve been waiting at the dorm for a really long time and the both of them still haven’t appeared.” Yun says, staring at Yixing standing by the door, “but that Lay has been standing there all the while.”
“Stop waiting, both of them got into my car.” He says, “it’s completed.”
“Will they report to the police?” Yun asks.
“Probably not,” he looks in the back seat, “both phones are on my car. Get a car to pick them, otherwise there is no way they can return, hire one, don’t use the company’s car, just say you’re doing a friend a favour. When you get into the city, give them some money and drop them off anywhere.”
“Ok.” Yun’s voice travels, “hyung, you really sympathize them a lot, have you got the photos?”
“Cut your crap,” he speaks into the phone, smiling, “hurry up.” Speaking, he keeps the money.
Clown stared peaceful at the glowing door, “I think if he wasn’t scalded, he would have debuted. Why am I saying all these to you anymore, you’re probably uninterested.” He turns to face Luhan.
“Continue,” Luhan chuckles, “it’s left with the two of us anyway.”
Yun’s accident was something him and his partner had no way of changing, despite their umpteen times trying. And at his last chance, he finally succeeded in switching seats. Having fetched someone and sitting in the taxi, he felt an immensely incomparable sense of relief walking towards the disfigured car, he’d ran to the perplexed ending - the co-driver seat of the truck.
Rain pours, the front window of the truck appears to be blur.
The familiar yet strange shadow distances further and further, “Clown?” he pouts, the person in front doesn’t reply.
“I’ve said this before, you can make use of a strangers face and voice to amend history and play the future for the very last time, just like how my predecessor had, and just like how I had.”
He had forgotten how he had summoned himself into the alley to receive a punch instead of lending a lighter. Yanking off the jade from the unconscious person, he’d changed into drenched clothes and put on a hat. In the shadow of darkness, he got into the black buick of fate for the very last time.
“Contact your friends, take care.” He changes the script and the possesions he returned.
“I’m sorry, I used Yixing’s death to replace Yun; also to replace myself, even if myself on that side and my present self doesn’t hold any relation anymore.” Clown looks to the door.
He still remembers, after all, the farewell in that darkness.
-
"Everything's here," he stuffs the piece of jade symbolizing peace and harmony with the broken string into the camera bag, handing it through the window to Yun in another car.
"Be careful."
"Why do you sound so weird?"
Yun is unable to see the person across him in the dark.
"We finished what we had to do, why are you still wearing your mask?"
"Oh...nothing." he hides his face even deeper into the shadows, "I'm gonna go buy a pack of cigarettes." He says as he opens the car door and walks out. "Good bye." He says with his back turned.
Yun watches in confusion as he walks into the convenient store, "why would you say good bye just to go buy cigarettes?"
The man never comes out from the store, a few minutes later, Yun receives a call from the hospital, "your friend Sung is at the hospital right now with a concussion, can you come pay the fees?"
"Hospital?" Yun creases his eyebrows and looks up toward the store.
After hanging up the phone, Yun hurries into the store but fails to find the familiar figure. He opens the restroom door and discovers the face mask quietly lying on the floor.
Clown slowly walks toward the cliff of light. "The changes made by this step will forever remain in history, and of course, steps made by other people could still change it slightly. But this time, we get to decide the date and span of time of step, remember the purple Samsung camera? And the messily printed flyers?" He smiles at Luhan, "see, this itself has a low possibility of happening, but it worked! Life is made up of coincidences, right?"
"Who was your partner?" Says Luhan, "do I know him?"
"You should," clown smiles at Luhan again, “he is the owner of Happy Times.” he says.
After a moment of silence, Luhan chuckles, shaking his head, “You get to decide the date and time we step back, right?”
“I have my limitations too,” he says, “like I can’t send you back before you guys met, I have to give the first person stepping two chances to let the second person step.” he pauses for a bit, “no, I shouldn’t be saying “I” anymore, it should be you, you’re Clown.”
“Come, come pick the time for your last step,” Clown sweeps off the numbers floating on the screen, pointing to the marking scale to control time, “this time you’ll return to the environment you’re familiar with, but remember you’re just an non-existent stranger, you can’t commit suicide to replace your own death.”
Luhan walks up to the scale, twisting it with slight interest, at last he picks a random day toward the end of 2011.
“Are you sure you want to step back so early?” says Clown, “ is it a special day?”
“Nothing special,” the side of Luhan’s lips lifts up, “I’m just casually going back to wander around.”
Clown looks at him, “This is your last chance.”
Luhan puts his hands in his pockets, “I know,” he laughs, “I plan on going back to give Yixing a couple of punches so he'll be stupid enough to do what I tell him to." Luhan looks over to him, "how do I come back?"
"Just pat on the door." Says clown.
“Understood. Then I'll be on my way. Luhan says as he walks towards the cliff of light.
"Luhan." Clown calls out from his back.
"Yes?" Luhan turns his head in the glowing light. Clown pauses, "don't blame me." He lifts up his head to look at Luhan.
Luhan looks back at the cliff of light, "someone has to stay here, right?" He gives clown a playful smirk, walking into the light without looking back.
Lowering his head, Clown looks at the bright cliff of light and places the keys, perfume bottle, and pen on the floor.
-
Luhan stands by the busy road, examining his face carefully with his hands, not knowing whether it looks nice or not.
A cluster of young boys walk on the street across the road, you're being too flashy even for trainees, he turns to the side and shakes his head, especially the one in the front named Luhan, is he trying to look like a thug?
They walk into a restaurant, the one they always used to go together.
Sitting at a table on the corner, Luhan watches the group across the room as they laugh and talk, he searches his pockets for all the money he has and places it on the table, then starts to read the menu without a word.
Chanyeol and Baekhyun finish ordering their food, Tao sits on the side with his eyes widened trying his hardest to understand their conversation in Korean; Jongin leans back in forth on his chair, slightly protesting the food Baekhyun ordered.
What am I doing?
Playing my phone out of boredom with Sehun.
Luhan calls over the waitress, pointing to the menu, "open this champagne for them to celebrate, it's on me." Says Luhan softly, "just give it to the tall guy." He says as he points to Kris.
"What are they celebrating?" The waitress asks politely.
"Celebrating...." Luhan doesn't know to reply, "to celebrate the big thing next year."
"Okay." She smiles, "anything for yourself?"
"Me?" Luhan flips through the menu once more, then calculats how much money he has left from buying the champagne, "I....uh...just water please."
The waitress pauses, "alright, please wait a moment."
A couple minutes pass, the waitress walks toward Kris with a bottle of Champagne in her hands, pointing in Luhan’s direction, and whispers in his ears.
Kris turns his head, looking at luhan across the room.
"Do you want it open now?" Asks the waitress.
"Hang on." Kris replies.
"What is it Kris hyung?" Chanyeol asks.
"That stranger bought us a bottle of champagne." Kris turns to reply.
Sehun swings his legs, sitting next to Luhan, "there have been more and more weird people lately."
"This isn't cheap." Jongin studies the bottle.
"Better be cautious with things like this." Junmyeon joins in, "this is a sensitive period."
Yixing turns his head to look at the stranger in the corner, "he looks like he's poor, he only ordered a glass of water for himself."
Luhan pats him on the head, "this is why stranger men crushes on you, eat your food.”
Kris calls over the waitress again and asks, "how much is this?"
The waitress says a number.
Pausing for a moment, Kris speaks again, "thank him for me please, we appreciate the thought, it hasn't been opened yet, you can return it to him."
"Uh...." The waitress says, "please don't make this hard on me."
Kris smiles and waves his hand, looking back as he gets up to walk over there.
Luhan begins to move around uncomfortably in the corner.
"Hello." Kris reaches out his right hand politely.
"Hello." Luhan holds out his sweaty palm for a handshake.
"This is the champagne you wanted to open for us?" Kris sits down.
Luhan nods, running his fingers along the beautiful bottle, "yes, champagne," he gives Kris a quick and admiring glance, "to drink when you're happy."
Kris falls silence for a moment, looking at the man across from him. "Thank you for the thought, what's your name?"
Luhan looks at the man in front of him, tongue tied, “Haha…. My...." He stutters, "I, I don't have a name..."
"Sir, we appreciate what you're trying to do, we wanted to order one of the same price for you as well, we just didn't bring enough money." Kris laughs, lowering his head, "so here's your champagne back, thank you anyway."
After pausing for a moment, Luhan looks at the table with a chuckle, "you're welcome."
"Then... Sorry to be a bother." Kris gets up, giving Luhan another smile, then walks back to his table.
Luhan finishes his water with a smile, calling over the waitress, "I'm ready to pay." He pushes the cluster of cash towards her.
"Your glass of water doesn't cost this much." Says the waitress awkwardly.
"I'm.... buying the champagne." Luhan smiles at her, getting up with the bottle of champagne in his hand.
He stands by the door, turning back to look at the table full of people for the last time. Kris looks up from eating to meet the strangers eyes, a sea of different waiters and customers walking between them.
Fix your hair, its messy.
Kris watches as the stranger smiles and shows him with hand gestures. A waiter walks past before his eyes, when kris looks over again, the stranger is nowhere to be seen, just a bottle of unopened champagne sitting next to the door.
"To drink when you're happy." Kris slowly walks toward the door and picks up the bottle, as if pulled by some strange force, he looks outside.
The street is filled with cars and pedestrians; he looks around, failing to find a familiar face.
When he returns to the room, Clown is long gone, just a chain of keys, a pen and a perfume bottle.
No, he misspoke; Clown is still here, because he is Clown.
Walking over to the telescope, Luhan sees an old friend, climbing up the mountain with exhaustion, he appears to be looking for something in the woods, he walks out with the hammer, the one Luhan threw out last time.
He looks around, taking out a nail from his pocket, and steps onto the red arrow. The old friend begins a new adventure, a few moments later, he falls into deep slumber.
The red letters on the screen reminds Luhan its time for him to pick a time for the new adventurous traveler.
The corners of him mouth lift up, Luhan turns the scale to September 17th, 2012.
He feels as if he suddenly fell into a seat, the crowd goes wild cheering around Yixing, the person next to him hugs him, his eardrums about to shatter. "Dumbfounded much? Go!" He looks to his side, its Luhan pushing him forward, Yixing gets pulled up on stage, everything is a blur.
The MC says the familiar words, he already watched the heartwarming video playing on the big screen behind them. Tao's eyes are red trying to hold in his tears, K waves excitedly at them offstage.
Kris makes his speech, Luhan says something as well, the trophy gets passed to him. He looks down at their first award, Yixing raises his head to look up, narrowing his already-tearing-up eyes, focusing on a non-existent point somewhere in the distance.
Luhan, is that you?
"Your turn to say something." Kris holds onto his shoulder as Luhan pushes his forward by his waist; he stares at the mic before his eyes, the MC tries to calm the crowd down.
Yixing falls quiet in front of the mic.
Luhan, you're listening, right?
Yixing looks up at the non-existent point in the distance again.
"I've never thought of myself as smart, I can never see things clearly for the way they are." His grip tightens on the award trophy.
"But I'm definitely lucky." He lowers his head with a smile, "the luckiest thing that happened to me isn't debuting or becoming famous, its meeting you guys" he looks into the far distance.
"If I had the chance to do things over, I would still go to Korea in 2008," he smiles, "I will wait for you guys at the same place, it doesn't matter how hard things are, as long as you're by my side, I'm happy." The members next to him pats him on the shoulder.
"If I had the chance to do things over," his voice shakes as he looks down, "I will do everything in my power..."
His voice becomes quiet, only loud enough for himself to hear.
"Do everything in my power, to have you by my side again."
The light filled room remains the way it was a month ago, on the other side of the white door, someone is stumbling over their footsteps toward the room.
Dong dong dong! He knocks on the door.
Dong dong dong! "Is anyone there?" He asks in a detecting tone.
Sitting on the other side of the room, Luhan holds the silver keys in his hands, facing the bright cliff of light, he seems to have fallen in a beautiful dream.
"Is anyone there?" The person is leaning against the door.
Dong dong dong! Dong dong dong! He keeps knocking on the door stubbornly.
"There's a door to your left," says Luhan calmly, "just walk through there, its unlocked."
The person on the other side falls silent for a moment, followed by the sound of fast knocking,
“Luhan! You’re in there?! Open the door!”
Dropping down his eyebrows, the person on this side of the door begins to speak, “I’m not Luhan, my name is Clown.”
“No.” The person on the other side stubbornly repeats his judgment, “you are Luhan, you can’t lie to me.”
Batting his long lashes, Luhan shakes his head; smiling, “do you really want to save Luhan? walk through that door and he will come back to life.”
The man on the other side hesitates, “are you serious?’
Luhan laughs, playing with the keys in his hands, “Of course I’m serious.”
“Luhan....” the man on the other side presses his forehead against the door, “please open the door, I want to see you.....”
“I’m not Luhan, and I don’t have the keys.” Luhan leans his head by the door as he watches a strand of beads pass through from under the door.
“Do you remember these beads? Return them to me when you come back.” says the man outside the door with determination, “if you lie to me I will just keep coming, I already know how.”
Luhan touches the beads, he does not speak.
Silence fills the air for a, while, the person outside leans his back against the door, “I miss you.”
I know.
Luhan sits down on the floor, playing with his new toy.
“We all miss you,” Yixing’s teardrops fall onto the dustless ground, “You have to come back.”
Luhan nods his head, sitting on the floor, a teardrop quietly slide down from the corner of his eye without a sound.
Yixing slowly walks toward the small door, he rubs his red eyes and turns to speak softly, “Good-bye, we will wait for you." He waits for a reply, but no one replies to his waiting; he turns around, walking through the small door.
Outside, it’s a piece of silence.
The cheap strand of beads slowly slip to the floor from his hands; sitting on the inner side of the door, the boy looks up, finally letting his tears break free and roll down his cheek as they please.
Forgive me for not wanting to say goodbye.........
Because I know, this is farewell.
Will update the epilogue, author's note and pdf download link sometime soon! c: (maybe tomorrow, pls wait for it~)
Original fic
Translated by heecups and ♡
Please ask before reposting!