(no subject)
Chapter 5 - The boys have a few moments of much deserved fluff.
Bastian left Lukas with the nurses (who were going to help him bathe, and as much fun as that could potentially be, he sadly had other matters to attend to) and left the hospital through the front door, looking around the parking lot and spotting a familiar dark blue Audi. He made his way over, opening the passenger door and sliding in to the seat. He smiled in greeting to the man seated beside him.
“How's it going, Robert?”
Robert Schneider, his agent, met him with a look of disbelief. “Please tell me that message you left me earlier was a joke?”
Bastian looked back out the window. Sometimes Robert was fun, and sometimes he wasn't. “I was serious. I'm not playing until he's better.”
The older man shook his head and immediately felt like slinging every curse he knew at his young client. But he had to stay calm. That was his job. “What exactly do you expect me to say?”
Bastian shrugged. “Tell them the truth, I don't care.”
“Really? You've invested so much in this club, and you're willing to throw that away because some friend of yours is in the hospital?”
Bastian immediately swung his head around, his icy gaze meeting that of his agent. “He's not just some friend! He's my best friend. How the fuck would you feel if your best friend was in the hospital and couldn't even talk properly, let alone walk? He's barely himself, I can't just leave him to the doctors, they stress him out!” He looked out the window again, his arms crossed angrily over his chest.
Robert took a deep breath before pressing his thumbs into his eyes. “Look, I'm not trying be an asshole, Bastian. But you have to understand that the club will not take this as a legitimate excuse. Honestly, what do you want me to tell them? Sorry, but my client is more concerned for his best friend than he is for his career? Do you honestly think that will go over well?”
Bastian was silent for a moment, listening to Robert but not wanting to hear him. He'd made up his mind - dealing with the consequences of the decision was Robert's job. “I don't care what you tell them. I'm not training until he's better.” He knew it wasn't really fair to put this on Robert's shoulders, but he had enough to worry about with Lukas.
Robert sighed and shook his head again. He found himself sorely missing the player he'd been representing before the World Cup - the one who still listened to him when he gave him career advice. “If you get released over this, I swear to fucking hell and back I will take all your money and then break both your legs.” So maybe he'd just give him a day or two to realize that he was making a huge mistake by taking unauthorized time off. Maybe he would come to his senses.
Bastian couldn't help but grin at the comment. “Wanna repeat that into my tape recorder?” He turned his head to level Robert with an amused smirk.
“Get the fuck out of my car, you annoying piece of shit. I'll call you tomorrow after I talk with the club.” Robert turned the keys in the ignition, starting his car. He glanced over at Bastian, who was still smirking at him. “Go on, get out, go back to your boyfriend.”
Bastian grinned and patted Robert on the knee before opening his door and getting out. “Thanks, Robert. I appreciate this.”
“You'd damn well better! I'm putting my reputation on the line for you.”
The grin fell from Bastian's lips, and finally he looked serious. “I know, and I appreciate it. I'm not budging on this, though. I don't think anyone will understand, but that's okay. I'll take whatever shit gets thrown my way. Just do whatever you have to.” He nodded before straightening up and slamming the car door closed.
He was totally fucking himself over. But Lukas needed him, and he wasn't about to turn his friend away.
Lukas had an appointment with Rothke the next day, but he asked for Bastian to stay this time. He expected to have to put up a fight but to his surprise, Rothke thought it was a good idea and offered no objection - Bastian was going to get his first glimpse of what things were really like for Lukas now. He watched as his friend sat on the bed, Rothke on a stool in front of him. He was holding Lukas’ feet, squeezing and prodding them in different places and asking Lukas if he could feel it. He always did, especially because it tickled him. One time Lukas jerked his leg and almost kicked the physiotherapist in the chest, which they were amused to find was not altogether uncommon (and had actually happened before with another patient).
Rothke seemed so much different today then he had yesterday, much warmer. Once he finished having Lukas rotate his feet at the ankles (which Lukas was quite pleased to note that he could do without problem) he moved up and repeated the same process with his hands. Flexing his wrists felt a little strange and he still felt an uncomfortable sort of weakness in his hands when he made a fist. He explained the sensation to Rothke, who wrote it down in his notebook. He had Lukas move his arms next, bending them and raising them. There wasn’t much trouble with his arms, only his hands. He was told to take a break for a few minutes and that when he returned, they would try walking. Lukas nodded, not looking forward to walking.
Bastian came and sat beside him on the bed, grabbing one of his hands and squeezing it. “Well that didn’t seem to go too bad. Maybe the walking will go better today.” He watched Lukas’ face for any sign of stress or unease. Lukas was feeling a little tense about having to walk next and it was starting to show.
“W-we will, see, Basti.”
Bastian put an arm around his shoulders and hugged him. “You have to take this in small steps, Lukas. You can’t make your body recover any quicker than it’s ready to. Just try and stay focused today.” He hoped he was giving Lukas the right advice.
Rothke was back and smiled at Lukas. “Okay, time to tackle your legs again.” He walked up to the bed, standing in front of him. After giving Lukas a final squeeze, Bastian moved back to his chair. “Now Lukas, I know you had a rough time with this yesterday. But you have to put that out of your mind. If you go into this worried and anxious and expecting to do poorly, it will only make it a lot harder for you. So I want you to stay focused today, okay?” Rothke waited for Lukas to acknowledge him, which he did by way of nodding his head. “Good. Now let’s start.”
With Rothke’s help Lukas stood up, wobbling slightly on his feet at first. Focus. Concentrate. He stared at Rothke, determined to at least stay focused today. It was like Bastian had told him, even if he couldn’t do what he had to, as long as he could stay focused, that would be a start. “Okay, let’s try moving forward.” Rothke took a step back, long enough that Lukas would have to take a few to make up the distance.
He took a deep breath before looking down at his feet and concentrating on them. He tried moving his right foot first, staying focused and concentrating. He slid his foot along the floor, moving it a few inches. He tried to move his left next, concentrating hard on it. It eventually followed the right. He looked back at the other side now, urging it forward. So far so good.
After shuffling forward bit by bit, he looked at his foot and concentrated on trying to raise it this time. Only an inch, just to get it off the ground was all he wanted. He kept telling his leg to rise, just a little bit. He closed his eyes to try and concentrate but as soon as he did he became very aware of Rothke’s grip on his arms. He felt like he was about to fall over, all sense of balance lost. He quickly opened his eyes again and stared hard at the floor, willing himself to remain upright. He couldn’t fall, that would not be good.
He was supposed to be paying attention and concentrating but it was so hard! He just could not raise his foot. He was trying so hard, really he was, but he just couldn’t do it. Was he concentrating hard enough? Or maybe he was concentrating too hard on concentrating and not enough on actually moving his leg? Was he distracted? He tried to focus on his legs but he just couldn’t help but think about how frustrating and upsetting it was. If he concentrated enough he should be able to move his legs, but it just wasn’t working. He felt like such a failure, that no matter how hard he tried it just wasn’t happening.
“Lukas, you’re not concentrating.” Rothke’s voice cut through his thoughts. He wanted to tell him that he was concentrating, he was trying. It wasn’t his fault that his body just wouldn’t listen! “Lukas, look at me.” Rothke’s voice again and those words that reminded him of yesterday. He’d thought today would be different. He thought he’d be able to do better. He’d wanted to do better. He’d wanted to do so much better.
“Bastian, bring me that chair.” Bastian responded quickly, carrying the chair over and setting it down behind Lukas as Rothke instructed him to do. Lukas had been right. This was far worse to watch than Bastian had thought it would be. It was heartbreaking for him. He just stood there as Rothke pushed Lukas down onto the chair, then pulled one over for himself. The therapist sat down in front of Lukas and took both of his hands and held them.
“Lukas, look at me. I need you to calm down and listen to me.” He spoke a little forcefully, trying to get and keep Lukas’ attention. It worked, as Lukas finally looked at him. “Lukas, I want you to focus on what I’m saying to you, okay?” He waited for Lukas to respond, not continuing until the young man nodded his head. “You keep getting distracted. I know this is very hard for you, it’s frustrating. I understand that. But you need to try and stay focused. You’re giving up too quickly; you’re allowing yourself to get distracted too easily, thinking about how hard everything is. You need to accept that you can’t do everything right now. You can’t walk right now and that’s okay, because I’m going to help you. If you work hard at this, soon enough you will be able to do it. It’s going to take a lot of hard work, but you can do it. Just stay focused on what you’re doing. If you feel like you’re getting frustrated, that’s okay, just let me know and we’ll take a break. Okay?” Lukas nodded again and Rothke smiled at him reassuringly.
“You have a lot of people who want to help you, so just let yourself rely on them. Everyone understands that you’re having a hard time and no one’s going to be upset with you for not being able to do things. You’re trying your hardest, but you just have to stay focused. Okay?” Lukas nodded yet again, finally feeling like he was back in control. He knew Rothke was right. Learning to walk again wasn’t his only problem. He had to learn how to concentrate again. It was so easy to lose focus on what he was doing. It was a little scary, really, how quickly his mind settled on distracting thoughts.
“Are you ready to try again?” He nodded, and felt determined to stay focused this time. “Lukas? It’s okay if you find yourself getting distracted. Try to stay focused, but it’s bound to happen every now and then, especially this early on in the recovery stage. Just try and remember to tell me, okay? If you need help re-focusing on what you’re doing, I’ll do that. But I want you to tell me, okay?” Again Lukas nodded his head, hoping that he could manage to do that. To not sink too quickly into distraction.
He stood back up and Rothke pushed his chair out of the way with his foot. He worked with Lukas for another fifteen minutes, pleased to note that Lukas’ attempts at staying focused were much better after his little pep talk. He was still having trouble moving, but he wasn’t getting as distracted by the failure anymore. After he had Lukas walk back to the bed, he let him sit and have a break again. “That was much better, Lukas. Keep up your focus like that, and things will get easier.”
Rothke left the room again for a moment and once again Bastian joined Lukas on the bed. Without saying anything, Bastian put his arms around him and hugged him.
Lukas glanced at him when he pulled back, a little confused. “What?”
Bastian just smiled. “Because I’m proud of you and I wanted you to know it.” Lukas looked down at the floor, a very light blush springing upon his cheeks. He didn’t feel that he was worthy of anyone’s pride or praise at the moment, but Bastian’s words still touched him. “You were having a really rough time there at first, but you pulled yourself together.” Bastian was proud of Lukas and he wanted Lukas to be proud of himself. He managed to get over his first hurdle today. Hopefully though, he would be able to keep it up.
Two days had passed and Lukas was showing signs of definite improvement. He’d really put all his efforts into learning to walk again and it was showing. He still couldn’t walk on his own and he definitely couldn’t move very quickly, but he could walk. Small steps, of course, but steps. Rothke was very pleased with his progress. “Well, if you keep this up, Lukas, I think you should be ready to get out of this place pretty soon.” It was the end of a session that had gone particularly well, and Rothke wanted Lukas to know that even though it might not seem like he had accomplished a great deal yet, he actually had.
Lukas smiled at the comment, thinking longingly of getting out of the hospital and being back at his apartment. He missed all the comforts of home, that was for sure. Just being able to sleep in his own bed would be nice, that was something he definitely missed.
“Well then I guess that’s all for me today. I believe Alban is coming to see you soon, right? Keep hard at that too, Lukas. You’re progressing nicely.” With that said Rothke gave the pair a final wave and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
“Excellent job, Lukas. You’ll be running again in no time.” Bastian sat on the bed next to him, grinning and pinching his cheek in a playful manner.
Lukas glared at him. “Shut up.” He knew Bastian was teasing him, maybe even making fun of him a little, but it was alright because it was all playful in nature. But that wouldn’t stop Lukas from glaring at him.
Bastian laughed at Lukas’ reply and as they sat there waiting for Alban Heus the speech pathologist, Bastian’s mind started thinking about what Rothke had said, about Lukas being able to leave the hospital soon. How exactly would that work? He’d obviously still need someone to stay with him, as Bastian doubted he’d be able to be physically independent any time soon. Maybe they offered nursing services through the hospital? Would the club hire someone? He wasn’t sure he liked that idea, but that was all up to Lukas to decide.
Eventually Heus came and Bastian left. Lukas’ speech therapy appointments weren’t quite as exciting as the physio and while Bastian would have gladly stayed for everything, Lukas actually kicked him out, telling him to go and get some fresh air. Bastian knew Lukas worried about taking up so much of his time and while he usually would have told him that he was staying, a break really wouldn’t be that bad.
So he left the room and walked around for a while, eventually ending up outside. He sat on a bench in the garden area, enjoying the sun and just-warm-enough weather. A moment later though, a young woman walked by and did a double take at him, turning back around and walking up to him. “Bastian Schweinsteiger?”
Bastian looked at her and smiled, but groaned a little inwardly. He enjoyed meeting fans, but he wasn’t exactly feeling up to it at the moment. He’d wanted some time to think about Lukas finally getting out of the hospital. “Yes, and who might you be?” He grinned at the woman, deciding that he had better be his usual friendly self. He just hoped she wouldn't take too long or ask too many questions.
“Katya Braun, Lukas’ occupational therapist.” Bastian felt himself sigh inwardly, glad it wasn’t a fan after all. “I was wondering if I could have a few minutes of your time?” Bastian nodded and she took a seat next to him on the bench. “So, do you have any idea what I’m going to be doing with Lukas?”
Bastian saw the little smile on her face and shook his head to indicate that no, he didn’t know. In fact, he had no idea what an occupational therapist did. “I apologize, but I really have no idea.”
“Don’t feel bad, most people don’t.” She smiled wider and launched into an explanation of what it was she did. She explained how it would be her job to help Lukas recover pertinent life skills and find ways for him to work on everything he has to do that won’t frustrate him or bore him. “Also, Bastian, if you continue to play as important a role in his recovery as you've been doing lately, you and I will have to work as a team. There are many things you can help him with that I will in turn help you with. I hear you’ve already been helping him during meals?”
Bastian nodded, though he didn’t think he’d really been doing all that much for him. “Yeah, I just cut up his food for him, really, so he can pick it up with his fingers since he can’t hold a fork yet.” It wasn’t anything special. It was just what had to be done.
But Katya apparently thought differently. “I think you’re helping him a lot more than you realize, Bastian. There are a lot of things Lukas can’t do right now, and already you’re helping him focus on the things he can do. That’s very important.”
Bastian had never really thought of it that way before. He looked at Katya and smiled. “I guess you’re right. Maybe I should cut down on the teasing, though.” He felt quite comfortable with her based on this first impression, so he launched into an explanation of their lunch from a few days ago, and how he took advantage of Lukas not being able to do anything.
To his surprise Katya laughed. “No no, that’s fine. Everyone is going to want to treat him like he can’t do anything; they won’t want to act normally toward him because he’s not the person they remember. But it’s very important that you treat him the way you always have. He needs to have a sense of normalcy in his life that relates to how things were before the accident, and if you teased him constantly at that time, you should really keep teasing him now. As long as it doesn’t make him uncomfortable, it’ll help.”
Bastian grinned conspicuously, looking as though he was now plotting all sorts of things to do to Lukas. “Don’t worry; I won’t push him too far. I can tell when he gets upset, and I always make sure he’s okay whenever I have been teasing him. I guess you’re right though, because it’s never bothered him. He usually ends up laughing.”
“See? If you keep him in good spirits, Bastian, his recovery process will go that much smoother. It’s very important that Lukas has an emotional anchor through all of this, and I daresay it looks like it’s you.” She winked at him before standing up. “And I also must say that that is quite adorable.” She excused herself back inside as she had a client to see, and told Bastian that she would see him later and that he really ought to think about things he could help Lukas with, ways he could encourage him.
So Bastian remained sitting outside over the next hour, the length of Lukas’ appointment with the speech therapist, thinking about things he could do to help his friend recover. He’d been pleased when Katya had implied that he’d been helping Lukas quite a bit over the past few days, as he’d never realized the impact he was actually having on him. So he went back into the hospital feeling quite good with himself and hopeful for Lukas’ future. When he returned to the room he found Lukas sitting up on the bed, his legs dangling over the side, looking to be lost in thought. “Hey, how did it go?”
Lukas looked up, seeing Bastian now. He shrugged, not looking pleased but also not looking upset. “Okay. You?”
Bastian sat next to him on the bed. “I went outside, sat in the garden for a while. Had a chat with your occupational therapist.” He paused, looking at Lukas. “She’s hot.”
Lukas laughed. “She m-make up, f-for other.” They both laughed at the comment. “W-what you, talk?”
Bastian smiled a little conspiratorially. “Oh, we talked about you.” When Lukas raised his eyebrows, asking for more information, Bastian grinned and put his arm around Lukas’ shoulders. “She just made me realize how much of a help I’m actually being to you.”
Lukas huffed. “Lies.”
Bastian laughed. “You know having me here is having a good effect on you, don’t deny it.” He watched as Lukas’ frown couldn’t seem to help but pull up into a smile. “Lukas, do you know what’s going to happen when you get released from the hospital?” Bastian couldn’t wait to ask the question. It was still gnawing at him, wondering who would be there to help Lukas when he was home. While he knew being home would be good for Lukas, he felt a pang of sadness as well. Bayern would probably arrange for the hospital to send someone to stay with Lukas to help him and he wouldn’t need Bastian there as much anymore. He’d still visit him all the time, but Lukas wouldn’t actually need him the way he needed him now.
Lukas shrugged, his smile reverting to a tiny frown. “Don’t know. Saw ss-social w-worker. They could send some one, do like y-you are.” Lukas paused and frowned deeper. “Don’t know, I like. Would be w-weird, strange-er there.”
That proverbial light went off in Bastian’s head suddenly, being smacked hard in the face with the idea that he was surprised he hadn’t thought of immediately. “Lukas, you don’t need someone from the hospital to stay with you.” Lukas turned to look at him, confusion on his face. “I will. I’ll move in with you until you’re better.”
Lukas shook his head. “No, already time enough. Just visit; no stay.”
Bastian wouldn’t hear any argument. “No really. Lukas, I want to. I don’t like the idea of you having to live with some stranger either. It would be so much easier if I was there. I’m already taking care of you now, aren’t I?”
Lukas still wasn’t sold on the idea. “Bas-ti, y-your life. Go live it.” He looked away, feeling torn. The truth was that he wanted Bastian to move in with him. He really did. It would be so much easier, having his best friend there instead of someone else. But how could he possibly let him do that? Bastian had his own life to live and Lukas didn’t want to suck him into his life anymore than he already was.
“But you’re a really big part of my life, Lukas.” Bastian took hold of Lukas’ left hand, the one that was closest to him. There was no way Lukas was talking him out of this. This was what Dr. Stahl had really been alluding to when he’d talked about Bastian doing his job. It was his job to take care of Lukas because he was Lukas’ best friend. Who else would there be? He knew Lukas’ parents would want to do it, but he didn’t like that idea at all and knew Lukas would be firmly opposed to it. When you reached adulthood, depending on a complete stranger was a better option than depending on your parents again. But depending on your best friend was the best option.
“Bas-ti…” Lukas didn’t know what to say. He was offering to do it, practically begging him to let him do it. But Lukas still felt so guilty. Did he deserve all of Bastian’s time? Wouldn’t it upset Daniela?
“Stop arguing with me, Lukas. You know it would be easier and I know that deep down, you would rather have me there than anyone else. I’m offering it, Lukas. You don’t have to ask me, because I wouldn’t accept anyone else being there. Taking care of you is my job right now. Please don’t give it to someone else.” He squeezed Lukas’ hand, waiting for him to face him and respond. He’d beg Lukas all night if he had to, now that the thought had entered his head. No one else could do it. This job belonged to him.
Lukas turned his head and raised his eyes, looking at Bastian. He was surprised at the look of determination on his face, at the desperation. Bastian was desperate for Lukas to say yes. He wouldn’t allow him to say no, he’d keep begging him until he finally gave in. Tears started pooling in Lukas’ eyes, slipping out at the corners. He nodded his head, silently agreeing to Bastian’s request.
Bastian smiled as soon as Lukas nodded, pulling him close in a tight hug. He hadn’t had to beg him after all. Lukas was going to get to go home soon and Bastian was going to be there with him. It was the only suitable option and Bastian was so excited to be a part of it.
Lukas leaned his head on Bastian’s shoulder, an intense feeling of relief washing over him. Though he hadn’t said anything, the moment Rothke had mentioned leaving the hospital Lukas had felt a bit panicked. From the first moment he’d hoped Bastian would offer to stay with him. It would make things a lot easier and Lukas would be much more relaxed. But there had been no way he was going to suggest it to his best friend. He already felt guilty with Bastian here constantly, like he was stealing him away from the rest of the world. Lukas had been so worried that Bastian might not want to stay with him. Maybe he was only around constantly now because he was stuck. Maybe he would have felt guilty leaving Lukas alone in the hospital, so he stayed. But with Lukas going home, it would have been the perfect opportunity for Bastian to free himself of Lukas’ shackles.
But to his immense relief, Bastian had immediately pushed the idea of him moving in. He hadn’t asked, Bastian had offered. Not even offered, really, but demanded. He didn’t have to feel so guilty now, because this was apparently what Bastian wanted. He wanted to take care of Lukas; he wanted to be there for everything. Lukas put his arms around Bastian’s chest and kept his head pressed to his shoulder. He was so grateful right now. Finally he pulled back, his eyes still a little wet. “Thanks, offer. Did not w-want, ask you.”
Once again Bastian felt that sting he’d experienced earlier. Lukas was still trying to protect him, for some stupid reason. He couldn’t just let go of things and let Bastian make the decisions. “Lukas, didn’t I make it obvious to you that you’re one of the most important people in the world to me? You can ask me for anything, and I’ll give it to you. Stop doubting that.”
Lukas nodded. “Sorry. Guilty.”
Bastian slid an arm around his shoulders again, sliding up close to him. “Stop feeling guilty. This is what best friends are for, Lukas. And I wouldn’t want anyone else.”
Lukas smiled, leaning against him. “Neither would m-me.” At that moment there was a knock at the door and the boys straightened up in a surprised reaction.
It was just Dr. Stahl, making his rounds and checking in. “Hello, boys. How did your appointments go this afternoon, Lukas?”
“Um, oh-okay.” Lukas was a little caught off guard by the interruption. Dr. Stahl certainly had a bad sense of timing.
Bastian, however, smiled at the neurologist and figured now would be a good time to tell him the news. “Lukas and I were just talking about what we’re going to do once he’s cleared to leave the hospital.”
The doctor nodded, looking curious. “And what have you decided?”
Bastian grinned and put his arm back around Lukas. “I’m going to move in with him. Neither of us feels right about having a stranger there, and he hasn’t got anyone else who can do it, so I’m making the sacrifice.” Bastian squeezed Lukas’ shoulder. “It’s my job, after all.” He caught the doctor’s gaze and winked.
The older man just smiled. “Like I told you, Bastian, it’s the most important job of all.” He winked back at him. “Well since that is out of the way, Lukas I was just coming to tell you the good news. Since you’ve taken the liberty of finding your own live-in nurse,” at that comment the doctor couldn’t help but grin, “we can release you tomorrow. We’ve all sat down and had a chat about you and provided you have the proper care at home you need, you’ve come far enough for us to feel comfortable with letting you go. We’ll of course be scheduling weekly appointments with your therapists and I believe Katya will be coming to visit you at home, but aside from that, life will be getting a little closer back to normal starting tomorrow.”
Lukas couldn’t respond, he was too shocked. Tomorrow? He would get to go home tomorrow? He’d been hoping he’d get to leave in a few days; that had been the sound of things when he’d been with Rothke. Tomorrow?
Bastian was having a much easier time with the news. “Tomorrow? That’s awesome! Lukas, isn’t that awesome?” Bastian grabbed Lukas’ arm and practically started shaking him. As excited as Bastian was for Lukas to finally be able to go home, he was quite excited for himself to be able to get out of the hospital too. He’d have stayed as long as Lukas was here, but he was quite happy they’d be leaving tomorrow.
Still Lukas just smiled. He was finally getting to go home. The past week had been quite rough on him with everything that had occurred, but now he was going to go home tomorrow, finally. Back to his own apartment with his own bed, all of his things that he’d been missing while stuck in the often oppressive hospital. But best of all was that Bastian was going to be there with him.
Bastian left Lukas with the nurses (who were going to help him bathe, and as much fun as that could potentially be, he sadly had other matters to attend to) and left the hospital through the front door, looking around the parking lot and spotting a familiar dark blue Audi. He made his way over, opening the passenger door and sliding in to the seat. He smiled in greeting to the man seated beside him.
“How's it going, Robert?”
Robert Schneider, his agent, met him with a look of disbelief. “Please tell me that message you left me earlier was a joke?”
Bastian looked back out the window. Sometimes Robert was fun, and sometimes he wasn't. “I was serious. I'm not playing until he's better.”
The older man shook his head and immediately felt like slinging every curse he knew at his young client. But he had to stay calm. That was his job. “What exactly do you expect me to say?”
Bastian shrugged. “Tell them the truth, I don't care.”
“Really? You've invested so much in this club, and you're willing to throw that away because some friend of yours is in the hospital?”
Bastian immediately swung his head around, his icy gaze meeting that of his agent. “He's not just some friend! He's my best friend. How the fuck would you feel if your best friend was in the hospital and couldn't even talk properly, let alone walk? He's barely himself, I can't just leave him to the doctors, they stress him out!” He looked out the window again, his arms crossed angrily over his chest.
Robert took a deep breath before pressing his thumbs into his eyes. “Look, I'm not trying be an asshole, Bastian. But you have to understand that the club will not take this as a legitimate excuse. Honestly, what do you want me to tell them? Sorry, but my client is more concerned for his best friend than he is for his career? Do you honestly think that will go over well?”
Bastian was silent for a moment, listening to Robert but not wanting to hear him. He'd made up his mind - dealing with the consequences of the decision was Robert's job. “I don't care what you tell them. I'm not training until he's better.” He knew it wasn't really fair to put this on Robert's shoulders, but he had enough to worry about with Lukas.
Robert sighed and shook his head again. He found himself sorely missing the player he'd been representing before the World Cup - the one who still listened to him when he gave him career advice. “If you get released over this, I swear to fucking hell and back I will take all your money and then break both your legs.” So maybe he'd just give him a day or two to realize that he was making a huge mistake by taking unauthorized time off. Maybe he would come to his senses.
Bastian couldn't help but grin at the comment. “Wanna repeat that into my tape recorder?” He turned his head to level Robert with an amused smirk.
“Get the fuck out of my car, you annoying piece of shit. I'll call you tomorrow after I talk with the club.” Robert turned the keys in the ignition, starting his car. He glanced over at Bastian, who was still smirking at him. “Go on, get out, go back to your boyfriend.”
Bastian grinned and patted Robert on the knee before opening his door and getting out. “Thanks, Robert. I appreciate this.”
“You'd damn well better! I'm putting my reputation on the line for you.”
The grin fell from Bastian's lips, and finally he looked serious. “I know, and I appreciate it. I'm not budging on this, though. I don't think anyone will understand, but that's okay. I'll take whatever shit gets thrown my way. Just do whatever you have to.” He nodded before straightening up and slamming the car door closed.
He was totally fucking himself over. But Lukas needed him, and he wasn't about to turn his friend away.
Lukas had an appointment with Rothke the next day, but he asked for Bastian to stay this time. He expected to have to put up a fight but to his surprise, Rothke thought it was a good idea and offered no objection - Bastian was going to get his first glimpse of what things were really like for Lukas now. He watched as his friend sat on the bed, Rothke on a stool in front of him. He was holding Lukas’ feet, squeezing and prodding them in different places and asking Lukas if he could feel it. He always did, especially because it tickled him. One time Lukas jerked his leg and almost kicked the physiotherapist in the chest, which they were amused to find was not altogether uncommon (and had actually happened before with another patient).
Rothke seemed so much different today then he had yesterday, much warmer. Once he finished having Lukas rotate his feet at the ankles (which Lukas was quite pleased to note that he could do without problem) he moved up and repeated the same process with his hands. Flexing his wrists felt a little strange and he still felt an uncomfortable sort of weakness in his hands when he made a fist. He explained the sensation to Rothke, who wrote it down in his notebook. He had Lukas move his arms next, bending them and raising them. There wasn’t much trouble with his arms, only his hands. He was told to take a break for a few minutes and that when he returned, they would try walking. Lukas nodded, not looking forward to walking.
Bastian came and sat beside him on the bed, grabbing one of his hands and squeezing it. “Well that didn’t seem to go too bad. Maybe the walking will go better today.” He watched Lukas’ face for any sign of stress or unease. Lukas was feeling a little tense about having to walk next and it was starting to show.
“W-we will, see, Basti.”
Bastian put an arm around his shoulders and hugged him. “You have to take this in small steps, Lukas. You can’t make your body recover any quicker than it’s ready to. Just try and stay focused today.” He hoped he was giving Lukas the right advice.
Rothke was back and smiled at Lukas. “Okay, time to tackle your legs again.” He walked up to the bed, standing in front of him. After giving Lukas a final squeeze, Bastian moved back to his chair. “Now Lukas, I know you had a rough time with this yesterday. But you have to put that out of your mind. If you go into this worried and anxious and expecting to do poorly, it will only make it a lot harder for you. So I want you to stay focused today, okay?” Rothke waited for Lukas to acknowledge him, which he did by way of nodding his head. “Good. Now let’s start.”
With Rothke’s help Lukas stood up, wobbling slightly on his feet at first. Focus. Concentrate. He stared at Rothke, determined to at least stay focused today. It was like Bastian had told him, even if he couldn’t do what he had to, as long as he could stay focused, that would be a start. “Okay, let’s try moving forward.” Rothke took a step back, long enough that Lukas would have to take a few to make up the distance.
He took a deep breath before looking down at his feet and concentrating on them. He tried moving his right foot first, staying focused and concentrating. He slid his foot along the floor, moving it a few inches. He tried to move his left next, concentrating hard on it. It eventually followed the right. He looked back at the other side now, urging it forward. So far so good.
After shuffling forward bit by bit, he looked at his foot and concentrated on trying to raise it this time. Only an inch, just to get it off the ground was all he wanted. He kept telling his leg to rise, just a little bit. He closed his eyes to try and concentrate but as soon as he did he became very aware of Rothke’s grip on his arms. He felt like he was about to fall over, all sense of balance lost. He quickly opened his eyes again and stared hard at the floor, willing himself to remain upright. He couldn’t fall, that would not be good.
He was supposed to be paying attention and concentrating but it was so hard! He just could not raise his foot. He was trying so hard, really he was, but he just couldn’t do it. Was he concentrating hard enough? Or maybe he was concentrating too hard on concentrating and not enough on actually moving his leg? Was he distracted? He tried to focus on his legs but he just couldn’t help but think about how frustrating and upsetting it was. If he concentrated enough he should be able to move his legs, but it just wasn’t working. He felt like such a failure, that no matter how hard he tried it just wasn’t happening.
“Lukas, you’re not concentrating.” Rothke’s voice cut through his thoughts. He wanted to tell him that he was concentrating, he was trying. It wasn’t his fault that his body just wouldn’t listen! “Lukas, look at me.” Rothke’s voice again and those words that reminded him of yesterday. He’d thought today would be different. He thought he’d be able to do better. He’d wanted to do better. He’d wanted to do so much better.
“Bastian, bring me that chair.” Bastian responded quickly, carrying the chair over and setting it down behind Lukas as Rothke instructed him to do. Lukas had been right. This was far worse to watch than Bastian had thought it would be. It was heartbreaking for him. He just stood there as Rothke pushed Lukas down onto the chair, then pulled one over for himself. The therapist sat down in front of Lukas and took both of his hands and held them.
“Lukas, look at me. I need you to calm down and listen to me.” He spoke a little forcefully, trying to get and keep Lukas’ attention. It worked, as Lukas finally looked at him. “Lukas, I want you to focus on what I’m saying to you, okay?” He waited for Lukas to respond, not continuing until the young man nodded his head. “You keep getting distracted. I know this is very hard for you, it’s frustrating. I understand that. But you need to try and stay focused. You’re giving up too quickly; you’re allowing yourself to get distracted too easily, thinking about how hard everything is. You need to accept that you can’t do everything right now. You can’t walk right now and that’s okay, because I’m going to help you. If you work hard at this, soon enough you will be able to do it. It’s going to take a lot of hard work, but you can do it. Just stay focused on what you’re doing. If you feel like you’re getting frustrated, that’s okay, just let me know and we’ll take a break. Okay?” Lukas nodded again and Rothke smiled at him reassuringly.
“You have a lot of people who want to help you, so just let yourself rely on them. Everyone understands that you’re having a hard time and no one’s going to be upset with you for not being able to do things. You’re trying your hardest, but you just have to stay focused. Okay?” Lukas nodded yet again, finally feeling like he was back in control. He knew Rothke was right. Learning to walk again wasn’t his only problem. He had to learn how to concentrate again. It was so easy to lose focus on what he was doing. It was a little scary, really, how quickly his mind settled on distracting thoughts.
“Are you ready to try again?” He nodded, and felt determined to stay focused this time. “Lukas? It’s okay if you find yourself getting distracted. Try to stay focused, but it’s bound to happen every now and then, especially this early on in the recovery stage. Just try and remember to tell me, okay? If you need help re-focusing on what you’re doing, I’ll do that. But I want you to tell me, okay?” Again Lukas nodded his head, hoping that he could manage to do that. To not sink too quickly into distraction.
He stood back up and Rothke pushed his chair out of the way with his foot. He worked with Lukas for another fifteen minutes, pleased to note that Lukas’ attempts at staying focused were much better after his little pep talk. He was still having trouble moving, but he wasn’t getting as distracted by the failure anymore. After he had Lukas walk back to the bed, he let him sit and have a break again. “That was much better, Lukas. Keep up your focus like that, and things will get easier.”
Rothke left the room again for a moment and once again Bastian joined Lukas on the bed. Without saying anything, Bastian put his arms around him and hugged him.
Lukas glanced at him when he pulled back, a little confused. “What?”
Bastian just smiled. “Because I’m proud of you and I wanted you to know it.” Lukas looked down at the floor, a very light blush springing upon his cheeks. He didn’t feel that he was worthy of anyone’s pride or praise at the moment, but Bastian’s words still touched him. “You were having a really rough time there at first, but you pulled yourself together.” Bastian was proud of Lukas and he wanted Lukas to be proud of himself. He managed to get over his first hurdle today. Hopefully though, he would be able to keep it up.
Two days had passed and Lukas was showing signs of definite improvement. He’d really put all his efforts into learning to walk again and it was showing. He still couldn’t walk on his own and he definitely couldn’t move very quickly, but he could walk. Small steps, of course, but steps. Rothke was very pleased with his progress. “Well, if you keep this up, Lukas, I think you should be ready to get out of this place pretty soon.” It was the end of a session that had gone particularly well, and Rothke wanted Lukas to know that even though it might not seem like he had accomplished a great deal yet, he actually had.
Lukas smiled at the comment, thinking longingly of getting out of the hospital and being back at his apartment. He missed all the comforts of home, that was for sure. Just being able to sleep in his own bed would be nice, that was something he definitely missed.
“Well then I guess that’s all for me today. I believe Alban is coming to see you soon, right? Keep hard at that too, Lukas. You’re progressing nicely.” With that said Rothke gave the pair a final wave and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
“Excellent job, Lukas. You’ll be running again in no time.” Bastian sat on the bed next to him, grinning and pinching his cheek in a playful manner.
Lukas glared at him. “Shut up.” He knew Bastian was teasing him, maybe even making fun of him a little, but it was alright because it was all playful in nature. But that wouldn’t stop Lukas from glaring at him.
Bastian laughed at Lukas’ reply and as they sat there waiting for Alban Heus the speech pathologist, Bastian’s mind started thinking about what Rothke had said, about Lukas being able to leave the hospital soon. How exactly would that work? He’d obviously still need someone to stay with him, as Bastian doubted he’d be able to be physically independent any time soon. Maybe they offered nursing services through the hospital? Would the club hire someone? He wasn’t sure he liked that idea, but that was all up to Lukas to decide.
Eventually Heus came and Bastian left. Lukas’ speech therapy appointments weren’t quite as exciting as the physio and while Bastian would have gladly stayed for everything, Lukas actually kicked him out, telling him to go and get some fresh air. Bastian knew Lukas worried about taking up so much of his time and while he usually would have told him that he was staying, a break really wouldn’t be that bad.
So he left the room and walked around for a while, eventually ending up outside. He sat on a bench in the garden area, enjoying the sun and just-warm-enough weather. A moment later though, a young woman walked by and did a double take at him, turning back around and walking up to him. “Bastian Schweinsteiger?”
Bastian looked at her and smiled, but groaned a little inwardly. He enjoyed meeting fans, but he wasn’t exactly feeling up to it at the moment. He’d wanted some time to think about Lukas finally getting out of the hospital. “Yes, and who might you be?” He grinned at the woman, deciding that he had better be his usual friendly self. He just hoped she wouldn't take too long or ask too many questions.
“Katya Braun, Lukas’ occupational therapist.” Bastian felt himself sigh inwardly, glad it wasn’t a fan after all. “I was wondering if I could have a few minutes of your time?” Bastian nodded and she took a seat next to him on the bench. “So, do you have any idea what I’m going to be doing with Lukas?”
Bastian saw the little smile on her face and shook his head to indicate that no, he didn’t know. In fact, he had no idea what an occupational therapist did. “I apologize, but I really have no idea.”
“Don’t feel bad, most people don’t.” She smiled wider and launched into an explanation of what it was she did. She explained how it would be her job to help Lukas recover pertinent life skills and find ways for him to work on everything he has to do that won’t frustrate him or bore him. “Also, Bastian, if you continue to play as important a role in his recovery as you've been doing lately, you and I will have to work as a team. There are many things you can help him with that I will in turn help you with. I hear you’ve already been helping him during meals?”
Bastian nodded, though he didn’t think he’d really been doing all that much for him. “Yeah, I just cut up his food for him, really, so he can pick it up with his fingers since he can’t hold a fork yet.” It wasn’t anything special. It was just what had to be done.
But Katya apparently thought differently. “I think you’re helping him a lot more than you realize, Bastian. There are a lot of things Lukas can’t do right now, and already you’re helping him focus on the things he can do. That’s very important.”
Bastian had never really thought of it that way before. He looked at Katya and smiled. “I guess you’re right. Maybe I should cut down on the teasing, though.” He felt quite comfortable with her based on this first impression, so he launched into an explanation of their lunch from a few days ago, and how he took advantage of Lukas not being able to do anything.
To his surprise Katya laughed. “No no, that’s fine. Everyone is going to want to treat him like he can’t do anything; they won’t want to act normally toward him because he’s not the person they remember. But it’s very important that you treat him the way you always have. He needs to have a sense of normalcy in his life that relates to how things were before the accident, and if you teased him constantly at that time, you should really keep teasing him now. As long as it doesn’t make him uncomfortable, it’ll help.”
Bastian grinned conspicuously, looking as though he was now plotting all sorts of things to do to Lukas. “Don’t worry; I won’t push him too far. I can tell when he gets upset, and I always make sure he’s okay whenever I have been teasing him. I guess you’re right though, because it’s never bothered him. He usually ends up laughing.”
“See? If you keep him in good spirits, Bastian, his recovery process will go that much smoother. It’s very important that Lukas has an emotional anchor through all of this, and I daresay it looks like it’s you.” She winked at him before standing up. “And I also must say that that is quite adorable.” She excused herself back inside as she had a client to see, and told Bastian that she would see him later and that he really ought to think about things he could help Lukas with, ways he could encourage him.
So Bastian remained sitting outside over the next hour, the length of Lukas’ appointment with the speech therapist, thinking about things he could do to help his friend recover. He’d been pleased when Katya had implied that he’d been helping Lukas quite a bit over the past few days, as he’d never realized the impact he was actually having on him. So he went back into the hospital feeling quite good with himself and hopeful for Lukas’ future. When he returned to the room he found Lukas sitting up on the bed, his legs dangling over the side, looking to be lost in thought. “Hey, how did it go?”
Lukas looked up, seeing Bastian now. He shrugged, not looking pleased but also not looking upset. “Okay. You?”
Bastian sat next to him on the bed. “I went outside, sat in the garden for a while. Had a chat with your occupational therapist.” He paused, looking at Lukas. “She’s hot.”
Lukas laughed. “She m-make up, f-for other.” They both laughed at the comment. “W-what you, talk?”
Bastian smiled a little conspiratorially. “Oh, we talked about you.” When Lukas raised his eyebrows, asking for more information, Bastian grinned and put his arm around Lukas’ shoulders. “She just made me realize how much of a help I’m actually being to you.”
Lukas huffed. “Lies.”
Bastian laughed. “You know having me here is having a good effect on you, don’t deny it.” He watched as Lukas’ frown couldn’t seem to help but pull up into a smile. “Lukas, do you know what’s going to happen when you get released from the hospital?” Bastian couldn’t wait to ask the question. It was still gnawing at him, wondering who would be there to help Lukas when he was home. While he knew being home would be good for Lukas, he felt a pang of sadness as well. Bayern would probably arrange for the hospital to send someone to stay with Lukas to help him and he wouldn’t need Bastian there as much anymore. He’d still visit him all the time, but Lukas wouldn’t actually need him the way he needed him now.
Lukas shrugged, his smile reverting to a tiny frown. “Don’t know. Saw ss-social w-worker. They could send some one, do like y-you are.” Lukas paused and frowned deeper. “Don’t know, I like. Would be w-weird, strange-er there.”
That proverbial light went off in Bastian’s head suddenly, being smacked hard in the face with the idea that he was surprised he hadn’t thought of immediately. “Lukas, you don’t need someone from the hospital to stay with you.” Lukas turned to look at him, confusion on his face. “I will. I’ll move in with you until you’re better.”
Lukas shook his head. “No, already time enough. Just visit; no stay.”
Bastian wouldn’t hear any argument. “No really. Lukas, I want to. I don’t like the idea of you having to live with some stranger either. It would be so much easier if I was there. I’m already taking care of you now, aren’t I?”
Lukas still wasn’t sold on the idea. “Bas-ti, y-your life. Go live it.” He looked away, feeling torn. The truth was that he wanted Bastian to move in with him. He really did. It would be so much easier, having his best friend there instead of someone else. But how could he possibly let him do that? Bastian had his own life to live and Lukas didn’t want to suck him into his life anymore than he already was.
“But you’re a really big part of my life, Lukas.” Bastian took hold of Lukas’ left hand, the one that was closest to him. There was no way Lukas was talking him out of this. This was what Dr. Stahl had really been alluding to when he’d talked about Bastian doing his job. It was his job to take care of Lukas because he was Lukas’ best friend. Who else would there be? He knew Lukas’ parents would want to do it, but he didn’t like that idea at all and knew Lukas would be firmly opposed to it. When you reached adulthood, depending on a complete stranger was a better option than depending on your parents again. But depending on your best friend was the best option.
“Bas-ti…” Lukas didn’t know what to say. He was offering to do it, practically begging him to let him do it. But Lukas still felt so guilty. Did he deserve all of Bastian’s time? Wouldn’t it upset Daniela?
“Stop arguing with me, Lukas. You know it would be easier and I know that deep down, you would rather have me there than anyone else. I’m offering it, Lukas. You don’t have to ask me, because I wouldn’t accept anyone else being there. Taking care of you is my job right now. Please don’t give it to someone else.” He squeezed Lukas’ hand, waiting for him to face him and respond. He’d beg Lukas all night if he had to, now that the thought had entered his head. No one else could do it. This job belonged to him.
Lukas turned his head and raised his eyes, looking at Bastian. He was surprised at the look of determination on his face, at the desperation. Bastian was desperate for Lukas to say yes. He wouldn’t allow him to say no, he’d keep begging him until he finally gave in. Tears started pooling in Lukas’ eyes, slipping out at the corners. He nodded his head, silently agreeing to Bastian’s request.
Bastian smiled as soon as Lukas nodded, pulling him close in a tight hug. He hadn’t had to beg him after all. Lukas was going to get to go home soon and Bastian was going to be there with him. It was the only suitable option and Bastian was so excited to be a part of it.
Lukas leaned his head on Bastian’s shoulder, an intense feeling of relief washing over him. Though he hadn’t said anything, the moment Rothke had mentioned leaving the hospital Lukas had felt a bit panicked. From the first moment he’d hoped Bastian would offer to stay with him. It would make things a lot easier and Lukas would be much more relaxed. But there had been no way he was going to suggest it to his best friend. He already felt guilty with Bastian here constantly, like he was stealing him away from the rest of the world. Lukas had been so worried that Bastian might not want to stay with him. Maybe he was only around constantly now because he was stuck. Maybe he would have felt guilty leaving Lukas alone in the hospital, so he stayed. But with Lukas going home, it would have been the perfect opportunity for Bastian to free himself of Lukas’ shackles.
But to his immense relief, Bastian had immediately pushed the idea of him moving in. He hadn’t asked, Bastian had offered. Not even offered, really, but demanded. He didn’t have to feel so guilty now, because this was apparently what Bastian wanted. He wanted to take care of Lukas; he wanted to be there for everything. Lukas put his arms around Bastian’s chest and kept his head pressed to his shoulder. He was so grateful right now. Finally he pulled back, his eyes still a little wet. “Thanks, offer. Did not w-want, ask you.”
Once again Bastian felt that sting he’d experienced earlier. Lukas was still trying to protect him, for some stupid reason. He couldn’t just let go of things and let Bastian make the decisions. “Lukas, didn’t I make it obvious to you that you’re one of the most important people in the world to me? You can ask me for anything, and I’ll give it to you. Stop doubting that.”
Lukas nodded. “Sorry. Guilty.”
Bastian slid an arm around his shoulders again, sliding up close to him. “Stop feeling guilty. This is what best friends are for, Lukas. And I wouldn’t want anyone else.”
Lukas smiled, leaning against him. “Neither would m-me.” At that moment there was a knock at the door and the boys straightened up in a surprised reaction.
It was just Dr. Stahl, making his rounds and checking in. “Hello, boys. How did your appointments go this afternoon, Lukas?”
“Um, oh-okay.” Lukas was a little caught off guard by the interruption. Dr. Stahl certainly had a bad sense of timing.
Bastian, however, smiled at the neurologist and figured now would be a good time to tell him the news. “Lukas and I were just talking about what we’re going to do once he’s cleared to leave the hospital.”
The doctor nodded, looking curious. “And what have you decided?”
Bastian grinned and put his arm back around Lukas. “I’m going to move in with him. Neither of us feels right about having a stranger there, and he hasn’t got anyone else who can do it, so I’m making the sacrifice.” Bastian squeezed Lukas’ shoulder. “It’s my job, after all.” He caught the doctor’s gaze and winked.
The older man just smiled. “Like I told you, Bastian, it’s the most important job of all.” He winked back at him. “Well since that is out of the way, Lukas I was just coming to tell you the good news. Since you’ve taken the liberty of finding your own live-in nurse,” at that comment the doctor couldn’t help but grin, “we can release you tomorrow. We’ve all sat down and had a chat about you and provided you have the proper care at home you need, you’ve come far enough for us to feel comfortable with letting you go. We’ll of course be scheduling weekly appointments with your therapists and I believe Katya will be coming to visit you at home, but aside from that, life will be getting a little closer back to normal starting tomorrow.”
Lukas couldn’t respond, he was too shocked. Tomorrow? He would get to go home tomorrow? He’d been hoping he’d get to leave in a few days; that had been the sound of things when he’d been with Rothke. Tomorrow?
Bastian was having a much easier time with the news. “Tomorrow? That’s awesome! Lukas, isn’t that awesome?” Bastian grabbed Lukas’ arm and practically started shaking him. As excited as Bastian was for Lukas to finally be able to go home, he was quite excited for himself to be able to get out of the hospital too. He’d have stayed as long as Lukas was here, but he was quite happy they’d be leaving tomorrow.
Still Lukas just smiled. He was finally getting to go home. The past week had been quite rough on him with everything that had occurred, but now he was going to go home tomorrow, finally. Back to his own apartment with his own bed, all of his things that he’d been missing while stuck in the often oppressive hospital. But best of all was that Bastian was going to be there with him.