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Chapter 51 - NEW
It was just past seven and Lukas was sitting next door with Lena, practically forced into discussing his new relationship with her (not that he minded, really, because it was kind of nice to have someone here that he could talk to about it all, someone in person and not at the other end of a phone). He still thought Lena found the whole thing a little too exciting, but he'd take that over her being bothered about it. Bastian was currently having dinner with his parents, and he had Daniela with him. The couple were still feigning togetherness in the public eye. It was starting to bother Lukas more than he wanted to admit. It wasn't a case of jealousy - he just hated that they all had to pretend.
But at least he didn't have to pretend anything while Lena was around. “So come on, tell me! Just how are things going between you two? Gotten any action yet?” Lena nudged him with her elbow, a grin ever present on her lips.
Lukas shook his head - should he actually tell her? He wasn't sure if he could take the potential teasing. “I guess you could say that.” He looked at her and shrugged. Even if he was going to divulge anything, he was going to make her work for it.
“Lulu! Stop being so difficult. What's your interpretation of action? Are you guys banging?” She took a sip from her glass of wine before slipping her arm around his.
“That depends on your definition of banging,” he answered, wondering if he ought to interrupt her to lecture her about drinking. He knew it was something that annoyed her, so he was tempted.
“He's at least sucking your dick, right? Please tell me yes,” Lena clutched at his arm more tightly.
“Lena I think you should slow down on the drinking,” Lukas couldn't help but tease her, prolonging having to answer her question.
“Fuck off, a glass of wine a day is said to be good for you!” She ended the comment with another sip of wine.
“Said by who? Wine makers?”
“Doctors, asshole!” Lena pinched his arm and Lukas brushed her hand off.
“Yeah well as they said, one glass a day. Not one bottle,” he grinned and pinched her back.
She slapped his hand. “Stop evading my question! Is Basti sucking your dick or not?”
Lukas couldn't help but laugh, she was so blunt about the whole thing. “Yes, Lena, but don't tell him I told you about it.”
She squealed a little, clutching his arm again. “God that's so hot and adorable at the same time! Does he swallow?” She laughed after asking and Lukas wasn't sure if he ought to be embarrassed by the question or entertained.
He didn't have a chance to answer though, as suddenly the door thudded shut behind them. Lena turned suddenly, her eyes falling on Anna, who was standing there with two bags of groceries in her arms. It wasn't clear from the look on her face if she'd heard anything. Lena desperately hoped she hadn't.
“Anna! Here, let me help you with those,” Lena stood up, leaving her glass on the table as she made her way over to the door, where Anna was still standing, now looking bothered.
“I heard what you asked him,” she spoke in a low voice, her gaze now accusingly on Lena. “And I heard his answer.”
Lena stopped in front of her friend, reaching out to take the bags. “So?”
“So?” Anna wasn't about to give them up, clinging on to them because she needed something to hold on to at the moment. “So Bastian is supposed to be in a relationship with Dani right now? A straight relationship?”
Lena fixed the other girl with a challenging gaze, as though urging her to continue on at her own risk. “Yeah well things have changed.”
“Does Dani know?” Anna was still reeling in shock. Was this actually happening?
“Yes she does, and she accepts it, so you should do the same.” Lena reached out for the groceries again, practically ripping them from Anna's arms. She was worried the other girl may start throwing things if she got upset.
“And why didn't anyone bother telling me?”
Lena finally got the bags and stood a moment, doing her best to remain calm. “Because we knew you would overreact.”
Anna shook her head in bewilderment. “Overreact? But, it's wrong.”
“Oh, is it?” Lena shot a glare at Anna before turning and taking the bags into the kitchen. This was what had really worried her about telling Anna. The last thing Lukas needed to hear was someone telling him his relationship was wrong.
“It is, it says so in the Bible-”
“Fuck the Bible, Anna!” Lena didn't bother putting anything away, she came back to stand in front of her friend again.
“Being gay is a sin, Lena. It's not in His plan for His children!” Anna looked to be on the verge of tears, clearly distraught.
“Whose plan? God? That fucking dictator you believe in?” The girls had never agreed on religion before, and while Lena was usually respectful (to an extent) of Anna's beliefs, that courtesy would not be extended in this situation. “God doesn't exist, Anna! It's made up bullshit.”
“This isn't about what you believe, Lena! I believe in God, and I know Lukas does too.” Looking past her childhood best friend, Anna's gaze fixed on Lukas, who was still sitting on the couch but watching the two girls now, his face a mask of concern. “Lukas, you know it's wrong.”
Lena was not about to allow Anna the chance to speak her mind. “Don't you dare start in on him, Anna!”
Anna ignored Lena, though. “Lukas you know it's not right, it's sinful. Think about your family! They don't know yet, do they?”
“Anna, leave him alone, and leave his family out of this.” Lena stepped in front of her, intent on shutting her up.
“This is important, Lena! I'm afraid for him!” Anna tried to push her way around Lena, but the other girl grabbed her arm and wouldn't let her pass.
“Afraid about what, Anna? What your stupid God is going to think? That he'll end up in Hell? That's a load of crap, Hell doesn't exist!”
“Yes it does, Lena! I'm already worried that one of my friends will end up there, and now Lukas and Bastian, it's-”
Lena cut her off. “And I am that other friend, Anna?” Her grip was like a vice, squeezing her friend's arm, so angry that she wasn't thinking of loosening her hold.
“Please let go of my arm, Lena,” Anna bit her lip to keep from crying in pain, and because she didn't want to have to answer Lena's question.
“Am I your other friend who's going to Hell, Anna? Just answer the question.” Lena did let go a little, just enough so Anna couldn't complain again.
Anna suddenly burst into tears, and that was the only answer she needed to give Lena. The other girl dropped her arm and looked back at Lukas, whose face was still set in shocked stone. “Come on, Lukas, clearly someone here does not approve of our existence.”
“That is not what I think, Lena!” Anna managed to get the comment out through her tears.
“It is so, Anna. I don't know why we're still friends.” Lena stood by the door, looking back at Lukas and motioning for him to hurry up and join her before turning back to the other girl. “We're not friends anymore, though. If you're willing to put your stupid religion ahead of the people you care about, then you can go fuck your stupid God.”
Lukas had quietly made his way over to the pair by then, still shocked but now a little worried. What was going on? Was his relationship really causing all of this? He looked at Anna, unsure if he ought to say anything. She did have a point, after all. While an Atheist like Lena couldn't understand the struggle, he did believe in God, and his family believed as strongly as Anna. Is this what was awaiting him if he told his parents?
Lena grabbed Lukas' arm when he was near, yanking him toward the door. She flung it open and didn't even bother saying anything else to Anna before leaving. Lukas was torn, though. He wanted to say something to Anna, but what? He looked at her, wondered what she would say if he hugged her and apologized. But she looked at the pair of them and said nothing before turning and bolting from the hallway, crying all the way to her room.
“Come on, we're going to your place, she can stay here and rot for all I care.” Lena dropped Lukas' arm and moved into the hallway, walking down toward his apartment. Lukas stood for a moment inside the door, torn at what to do. Would Anna even want to talk to him right now? Probably not. So he left, closing the door quietly behind him before walking down to meet Lena by his own place. Without a word he unlocked the door, walking in to his apartment.
Lena followed him in and slammed the door behind her. “I always knew it would come to this one day with her.”
Lukas stood by the door, still feeling confused. His thoughts were falling back on what Anna had said. His family would react that way. His mother would say the same things Anna had said. She'd cry and force him to give up his relationship lest he spend eternity in Hell, and if he refused her and chose Bastian, she would turn her back on him. He was sure of it now, given Anna's stance. There was no way his family could ever accept this.
“Lukas, are you okay?” Momentarily letting go of her anger toward her friend, Lena saw the look of Lukas' face and felt horrible. Clearly, Anna's words were bothering him. “Hey, forget about what she said, Lukas.”
“I can't,” he replied, crossing his arms simply because he didn't know what to do with them.
“Yes you can. Not everyone who follows religion is that blind,” Lena wasn't usually the type who spent any amount of time comforting other people, but this kind of was her fault for not being more careful.
“My parents will act like that. They're very devout, Lena. They're like Anna.”
“You don't know that. Even if they do think like her, it's different when it's family. You're their son, not just their neighbour, I'm sure that will change things.” She laid her hand on his arm, wishing she could beat it into his head to not worry.
“I wish I had your confidence about that,” he replied, still beyond worried.
“Lukas, I know you believe in God. You know I don't, and maybe it's a little hard for me to understand any turmoil you may have over it. But really, shouldn't this be an occasion for you to question exactly what it is you believe in? Do you really believe in a God who would turn his back on someone for their sexual preference?”
“But that's the difference, Lena. This isn't my sexual preference! I'm not gay, I don't like guys.” This was so much harder to say right now than he thought it ever would be. “I just like one guy. I'm not trapped, I could end it and get a woman at any time. I'm going against this on purpose.”
“So, if you were gay, and you liked guys, then it would be okay? It wouldn't be a problem?” She was trying to be patient.
“It would be less of a problem.”
“Lukas, what do you think about gay people?” She had to admit to being a little confused right now.
Lukas was silent for a moment, knowing that he probably sounded a little confused at the moment. “I don't have a problem with them. This isn't about what I think, Lena. This is about my family! It doesn't matter if I think being gay is alright. I don't think my family will, and that's the problem.” He wished she would understand. If Bastian was here, he'd get it, even if he didn't agree.
But Lena didn't get the root of the problem. “But they're your family, Lukas. I'm sure they'll still love you.”
He shook his head, not convinced. “I just don't know if it's worth the risk.”
She hesitated for a moment, though she still felt like beating the idea into him. “Lukas, I don't know if you know, but my family are devout Catholics. They preach to me almost every day. But I don't care what they think, I'm willing to stand up for what I believe in. Aren't you?”
He looked at her and hated her for phrasing it like that. He wasn't ashamed of his relationship - he just didn't want to lose his family. “I'm not you, Lena. We're different.”
“I know we are, but still. Do you want to have to hide it forever? Just to make your family happy?” She couldn't understand his line of thinking. She wouldn't give up anything for anyone, family included.
Was he willing to throw a relationship away for his family? He wasn't sure. “My family is important to me, Lena.”
“Are you implying that my family isn't important to me? They are, Lukas, really. But you know what's more important to me than my family? Me. I'm not changing to please them, and you shouldn't have to either.”
He frowned and wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. This was all so confusing to him right now.
Dinner had been wonderful and currently the six of them (she and Bastian, Tobias and Kim, and the boys' parents) were seated on the back patio, having some after dinner drinks. For Dani that was only tea, since she was driving. It had been a nice evening and it surprisingly hadn't been that difficult to keep up the pretense of the relationship around Bastian's family. Sometimes she worried about her motivations, worried that she may still be trying to drive home with Bastian that dating her was still the better option. She thought that perhaps it couldn't be helped, given the three years they'd been together. If they could officially break up, it would be easier to separate herself from him. But that couldn't happen yet.
“So Daniela, are you still planning on working with your uncle's management company?” Fred posed the question, and she smiled at the elder Schweinsteiger.
“That's the plan once this semester is over. Baptism by fire into the world of corporate real estate! I'd say I'm excited, but my aunt Julia's been telling me too many horror stories about her husband. It's got me a wee bit worried,” she grinned and sipped at her tea.
“I'm sure you'll do well, dear. You have a good head on your shoulders, after all!” Fred offered the compliment and Daniela smiled in appreciation.
“I'm with her aunt Julia, I think she'll be a screaming mess within a week.” Bastian grinned as he made the comment, winking at her in a teasing fashion. Daniela just shook her head and glared at him.
“Thanks for the support, asshole.” The family laughed and Bastian stuck his tongue out at her, and she was suddenly overcome with sadness that this family, the whole family that had been (still was) so inviting would never be hers. It was a little much at the moment. Luckily she was saved by the buzzing of her phone. She looked down and saw the name of a girl she was working with on a big project at school and knew it had to be serious. “Ugh, sorry guys, I should probably get this.” She looked at Bastian, “it's Melanie, so it's something project related. I'll be back in a minute, hopefully.” She stood up and wandered off from the patio before answering the phone.
“Dani, thank god! I've been trying to get a hold of Lena for half an hour! I need to talk to her about her research, but she's not answering. Is she with you?”
“No,” she answered, curious why Lena wouldn't have answered. Regardless of where she was, Lena always had her phone on. “Did you text her?”
“Yeah, a few times. I left her a message on her voice mail too. It's really important.”
“Okay, I'll see what I can dig up. I'll call you.” She hung up and dialed Lena's number, curious when it went to the machine. Without bothering to leave a message, she called Anna, wondering if perhaps the girls were at home. Anna picked up after two rings.
“Dani,” she answered, and right away Daniela was worried because she could hear the tears in Anna's voice.
“Anna, what's wrong?”
“I know, Dani,” she replied, and it confused Daniela for a moment. “I know about the boys.”
The confusion cleared. “Oh. What happened?” She wasn't sure that she really even wanted to know, because it could only mean that she and Lena must have had a confrontation over it. Daniela knew it wouldn't have gone well.
“She said we're not friends anymore, Dani. I'm just worried about them, and now she hates me!” Anna was overcome with wracking sobs and Daniela wasn't sure what to do. “We've been best friends since we were six, Dani! And she just told me that she doesn't want to be my friend anymore, and that I don't care about the boys or her at all. I don't know what to do!”
Daniela was silent for a moment, thinking. She was going to have to leave and sort this out. There was no getting around it. “Alright listen, Anna, I'm coming over. Okay? Where is she?”
“I think next door, I don't know.” Anna was still sobbing, obviously upset over this.
“Okay, I'll be there in twenty minutes. Just calm down, Anna. I'm sure we can fix this.” She didn't believe a word of that, but she didn't want Anna to work herself into a frenzy.
“Okay. Dani I'm worried about them, all of them. Lena and the boys.”
“I know, Anna. Just wait until I get there, okay? We'll talk more then.” After reassuring her a final time, Daniela hung up and cursed their timing. Perhaps this was just another sign that her relationship with Bastian really was over. She couldn't stay, no matter how badly she wanted to. She walked back over to the family, mustering a look of annoyance to her face. “I have to go. Stupid project, Melanie somehow managed to delete my entire part of the presentation, so now I have to go and either find some way to salvage it that she doesn't know of, or I'll be up all night re-writing it.” It was a believable lie.
“Oh no, dear! What horrible timing.” Bastian's mother stood up, looking sad. “You'll at least have to let me fix you a bit of food to take with you, in case you are up all night writing.” She wandered off into the kitchen and Daniela glanced at Bastian.
“Do you want me to come with you?” He asked, as though he could sense there was something amiss. She could have kissed him for his perceptiveness.
“No, that's okay.” She tried to tell him with her eyes, though, that it wasn't okay.
He seemed to catch on. “Fine, but I'll at least walk you to the car. I can catch a ride in with Tobi later.” Ignoring his brother's remarks that he would have to pay for a ride, he followed Daniela into the house. After stopping to take the offered food (which consisted of a hunk of roast pork and some apple pie) the pair walked out to the front and quietly made their way outside.
Waiting until he was sure no one was watching, Bastian inquired. “What really happened?”
Daniela almost felt like lying to him, not wanting him to spend his night worrying. But he needed to know. “Anna knows.”
Silence permeated the air then, nearly crushing them. There was a reason why they hadn't told Anna. “What happened?”
“I don't really know,” she answered, while unlocking the car door. “All I know is that apparently Lena left with Lukas and told Anna that she doesn't think they should be friends anymore.”
“So, it must have been bad.” Bastian knew the girls well enough to know what their reactions meant.
“Really bad. I know you probably want to check in with Lukas right now, but you need to stay here with your family. Just give this a bit of time. I'll text you when I find out more, okay?” She placed her food on the passenger side seat before standing back up and looking at Bastian. “I'll try my best to fix this, okay? Don't worry or your family will know something is up.” What she really wanted to say was I had a wonderful time tonight, we should do this more often but she couldn't bring herself to say it. Especially not now.
He nodded, knowing that she was right. Leaving this in her hands was the smartest thing to do right now. It would just be hard to not think about it all night. “Good luck,” is what he left her with, and he wound his arms around her when she hugged him. “This was fun, Dani. We should do this more often.”
Her breath caught in her throat and she wished she could just stay right there, clinging to him, her face pressed into his neck. But instead she pulled away and nodded, unable to say anything. She slid into the car and started it, not caring if her split second departure was going to make him worry even more. If she looked at his face for another second she'd be kissing him. So instead she quickly pulled out of the driveway and drove down the road for a bit, not stopping until she was sure she was out of sight of his parents place.
Then she pulled over on the side of the road, stopped the car, and broke into sobs of her own. Continuing to play Bastian's girlfriend really was taking its toll on her, and she wasn't sure anymore how much longer she could keep it up.
Though she badly wanted to help, she needed her life back. It didn't even matter anymore if that life was with or without Bastian. She just couldn't keep up the facade much longer.
It was just past seven and Lukas was sitting next door with Lena, practically forced into discussing his new relationship with her (not that he minded, really, because it was kind of nice to have someone here that he could talk to about it all, someone in person and not at the other end of a phone). He still thought Lena found the whole thing a little too exciting, but he'd take that over her being bothered about it. Bastian was currently having dinner with his parents, and he had Daniela with him. The couple were still feigning togetherness in the public eye. It was starting to bother Lukas more than he wanted to admit. It wasn't a case of jealousy - he just hated that they all had to pretend.
But at least he didn't have to pretend anything while Lena was around. “So come on, tell me! Just how are things going between you two? Gotten any action yet?” Lena nudged him with her elbow, a grin ever present on her lips.
Lukas shook his head - should he actually tell her? He wasn't sure if he could take the potential teasing. “I guess you could say that.” He looked at her and shrugged. Even if he was going to divulge anything, he was going to make her work for it.
“Lulu! Stop being so difficult. What's your interpretation of action? Are you guys banging?” She took a sip from her glass of wine before slipping her arm around his.
“That depends on your definition of banging,” he answered, wondering if he ought to interrupt her to lecture her about drinking. He knew it was something that annoyed her, so he was tempted.
“He's at least sucking your dick, right? Please tell me yes,” Lena clutched at his arm more tightly.
“Lena I think you should slow down on the drinking,” Lukas couldn't help but tease her, prolonging having to answer her question.
“Fuck off, a glass of wine a day is said to be good for you!” She ended the comment with another sip of wine.
“Said by who? Wine makers?”
“Doctors, asshole!” Lena pinched his arm and Lukas brushed her hand off.
“Yeah well as they said, one glass a day. Not one bottle,” he grinned and pinched her back.
She slapped his hand. “Stop evading my question! Is Basti sucking your dick or not?”
Lukas couldn't help but laugh, she was so blunt about the whole thing. “Yes, Lena, but don't tell him I told you about it.”
She squealed a little, clutching his arm again. “God that's so hot and adorable at the same time! Does he swallow?” She laughed after asking and Lukas wasn't sure if he ought to be embarrassed by the question or entertained.
He didn't have a chance to answer though, as suddenly the door thudded shut behind them. Lena turned suddenly, her eyes falling on Anna, who was standing there with two bags of groceries in her arms. It wasn't clear from the look on her face if she'd heard anything. Lena desperately hoped she hadn't.
“Anna! Here, let me help you with those,” Lena stood up, leaving her glass on the table as she made her way over to the door, where Anna was still standing, now looking bothered.
“I heard what you asked him,” she spoke in a low voice, her gaze now accusingly on Lena. “And I heard his answer.”
Lena stopped in front of her friend, reaching out to take the bags. “So?”
“So?” Anna wasn't about to give them up, clinging on to them because she needed something to hold on to at the moment. “So Bastian is supposed to be in a relationship with Dani right now? A straight relationship?”
Lena fixed the other girl with a challenging gaze, as though urging her to continue on at her own risk. “Yeah well things have changed.”
“Does Dani know?” Anna was still reeling in shock. Was this actually happening?
“Yes she does, and she accepts it, so you should do the same.” Lena reached out for the groceries again, practically ripping them from Anna's arms. She was worried the other girl may start throwing things if she got upset.
“And why didn't anyone bother telling me?”
Lena finally got the bags and stood a moment, doing her best to remain calm. “Because we knew you would overreact.”
Anna shook her head in bewilderment. “Overreact? But, it's wrong.”
“Oh, is it?” Lena shot a glare at Anna before turning and taking the bags into the kitchen. This was what had really worried her about telling Anna. The last thing Lukas needed to hear was someone telling him his relationship was wrong.
“It is, it says so in the Bible-”
“Fuck the Bible, Anna!” Lena didn't bother putting anything away, she came back to stand in front of her friend again.
“Being gay is a sin, Lena. It's not in His plan for His children!” Anna looked to be on the verge of tears, clearly distraught.
“Whose plan? God? That fucking dictator you believe in?” The girls had never agreed on religion before, and while Lena was usually respectful (to an extent) of Anna's beliefs, that courtesy would not be extended in this situation. “God doesn't exist, Anna! It's made up bullshit.”
“This isn't about what you believe, Lena! I believe in God, and I know Lukas does too.” Looking past her childhood best friend, Anna's gaze fixed on Lukas, who was still sitting on the couch but watching the two girls now, his face a mask of concern. “Lukas, you know it's wrong.”
Lena was not about to allow Anna the chance to speak her mind. “Don't you dare start in on him, Anna!”
Anna ignored Lena, though. “Lukas you know it's not right, it's sinful. Think about your family! They don't know yet, do they?”
“Anna, leave him alone, and leave his family out of this.” Lena stepped in front of her, intent on shutting her up.
“This is important, Lena! I'm afraid for him!” Anna tried to push her way around Lena, but the other girl grabbed her arm and wouldn't let her pass.
“Afraid about what, Anna? What your stupid God is going to think? That he'll end up in Hell? That's a load of crap, Hell doesn't exist!”
“Yes it does, Lena! I'm already worried that one of my friends will end up there, and now Lukas and Bastian, it's-”
Lena cut her off. “And I am that other friend, Anna?” Her grip was like a vice, squeezing her friend's arm, so angry that she wasn't thinking of loosening her hold.
“Please let go of my arm, Lena,” Anna bit her lip to keep from crying in pain, and because she didn't want to have to answer Lena's question.
“Am I your other friend who's going to Hell, Anna? Just answer the question.” Lena did let go a little, just enough so Anna couldn't complain again.
Anna suddenly burst into tears, and that was the only answer she needed to give Lena. The other girl dropped her arm and looked back at Lukas, whose face was still set in shocked stone. “Come on, Lukas, clearly someone here does not approve of our existence.”
“That is not what I think, Lena!” Anna managed to get the comment out through her tears.
“It is so, Anna. I don't know why we're still friends.” Lena stood by the door, looking back at Lukas and motioning for him to hurry up and join her before turning back to the other girl. “We're not friends anymore, though. If you're willing to put your stupid religion ahead of the people you care about, then you can go fuck your stupid God.”
Lukas had quietly made his way over to the pair by then, still shocked but now a little worried. What was going on? Was his relationship really causing all of this? He looked at Anna, unsure if he ought to say anything. She did have a point, after all. While an Atheist like Lena couldn't understand the struggle, he did believe in God, and his family believed as strongly as Anna. Is this what was awaiting him if he told his parents?
Lena grabbed Lukas' arm when he was near, yanking him toward the door. She flung it open and didn't even bother saying anything else to Anna before leaving. Lukas was torn, though. He wanted to say something to Anna, but what? He looked at her, wondered what she would say if he hugged her and apologized. But she looked at the pair of them and said nothing before turning and bolting from the hallway, crying all the way to her room.
“Come on, we're going to your place, she can stay here and rot for all I care.” Lena dropped Lukas' arm and moved into the hallway, walking down toward his apartment. Lukas stood for a moment inside the door, torn at what to do. Would Anna even want to talk to him right now? Probably not. So he left, closing the door quietly behind him before walking down to meet Lena by his own place. Without a word he unlocked the door, walking in to his apartment.
Lena followed him in and slammed the door behind her. “I always knew it would come to this one day with her.”
Lukas stood by the door, still feeling confused. His thoughts were falling back on what Anna had said. His family would react that way. His mother would say the same things Anna had said. She'd cry and force him to give up his relationship lest he spend eternity in Hell, and if he refused her and chose Bastian, she would turn her back on him. He was sure of it now, given Anna's stance. There was no way his family could ever accept this.
“Lukas, are you okay?” Momentarily letting go of her anger toward her friend, Lena saw the look of Lukas' face and felt horrible. Clearly, Anna's words were bothering him. “Hey, forget about what she said, Lukas.”
“I can't,” he replied, crossing his arms simply because he didn't know what to do with them.
“Yes you can. Not everyone who follows religion is that blind,” Lena wasn't usually the type who spent any amount of time comforting other people, but this kind of was her fault for not being more careful.
“My parents will act like that. They're very devout, Lena. They're like Anna.”
“You don't know that. Even if they do think like her, it's different when it's family. You're their son, not just their neighbour, I'm sure that will change things.” She laid her hand on his arm, wishing she could beat it into his head to not worry.
“I wish I had your confidence about that,” he replied, still beyond worried.
“Lukas, I know you believe in God. You know I don't, and maybe it's a little hard for me to understand any turmoil you may have over it. But really, shouldn't this be an occasion for you to question exactly what it is you believe in? Do you really believe in a God who would turn his back on someone for their sexual preference?”
“But that's the difference, Lena. This isn't my sexual preference! I'm not gay, I don't like guys.” This was so much harder to say right now than he thought it ever would be. “I just like one guy. I'm not trapped, I could end it and get a woman at any time. I'm going against this on purpose.”
“So, if you were gay, and you liked guys, then it would be okay? It wouldn't be a problem?” She was trying to be patient.
“It would be less of a problem.”
“Lukas, what do you think about gay people?” She had to admit to being a little confused right now.
Lukas was silent for a moment, knowing that he probably sounded a little confused at the moment. “I don't have a problem with them. This isn't about what I think, Lena. This is about my family! It doesn't matter if I think being gay is alright. I don't think my family will, and that's the problem.” He wished she would understand. If Bastian was here, he'd get it, even if he didn't agree.
But Lena didn't get the root of the problem. “But they're your family, Lukas. I'm sure they'll still love you.”
He shook his head, not convinced. “I just don't know if it's worth the risk.”
She hesitated for a moment, though she still felt like beating the idea into him. “Lukas, I don't know if you know, but my family are devout Catholics. They preach to me almost every day. But I don't care what they think, I'm willing to stand up for what I believe in. Aren't you?”
He looked at her and hated her for phrasing it like that. He wasn't ashamed of his relationship - he just didn't want to lose his family. “I'm not you, Lena. We're different.”
“I know we are, but still. Do you want to have to hide it forever? Just to make your family happy?” She couldn't understand his line of thinking. She wouldn't give up anything for anyone, family included.
Was he willing to throw a relationship away for his family? He wasn't sure. “My family is important to me, Lena.”
“Are you implying that my family isn't important to me? They are, Lukas, really. But you know what's more important to me than my family? Me. I'm not changing to please them, and you shouldn't have to either.”
He frowned and wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. This was all so confusing to him right now.
Dinner had been wonderful and currently the six of them (she and Bastian, Tobias and Kim, and the boys' parents) were seated on the back patio, having some after dinner drinks. For Dani that was only tea, since she was driving. It had been a nice evening and it surprisingly hadn't been that difficult to keep up the pretense of the relationship around Bastian's family. Sometimes she worried about her motivations, worried that she may still be trying to drive home with Bastian that dating her was still the better option. She thought that perhaps it couldn't be helped, given the three years they'd been together. If they could officially break up, it would be easier to separate herself from him. But that couldn't happen yet.
“So Daniela, are you still planning on working with your uncle's management company?” Fred posed the question, and she smiled at the elder Schweinsteiger.
“That's the plan once this semester is over. Baptism by fire into the world of corporate real estate! I'd say I'm excited, but my aunt Julia's been telling me too many horror stories about her husband. It's got me a wee bit worried,” she grinned and sipped at her tea.
“I'm sure you'll do well, dear. You have a good head on your shoulders, after all!” Fred offered the compliment and Daniela smiled in appreciation.
“I'm with her aunt Julia, I think she'll be a screaming mess within a week.” Bastian grinned as he made the comment, winking at her in a teasing fashion. Daniela just shook her head and glared at him.
“Thanks for the support, asshole.” The family laughed and Bastian stuck his tongue out at her, and she was suddenly overcome with sadness that this family, the whole family that had been (still was) so inviting would never be hers. It was a little much at the moment. Luckily she was saved by the buzzing of her phone. She looked down and saw the name of a girl she was working with on a big project at school and knew it had to be serious. “Ugh, sorry guys, I should probably get this.” She looked at Bastian, “it's Melanie, so it's something project related. I'll be back in a minute, hopefully.” She stood up and wandered off from the patio before answering the phone.
“Dani, thank god! I've been trying to get a hold of Lena for half an hour! I need to talk to her about her research, but she's not answering. Is she with you?”
“No,” she answered, curious why Lena wouldn't have answered. Regardless of where she was, Lena always had her phone on. “Did you text her?”
“Yeah, a few times. I left her a message on her voice mail too. It's really important.”
“Okay, I'll see what I can dig up. I'll call you.” She hung up and dialed Lena's number, curious when it went to the machine. Without bothering to leave a message, she called Anna, wondering if perhaps the girls were at home. Anna picked up after two rings.
“Dani,” she answered, and right away Daniela was worried because she could hear the tears in Anna's voice.
“Anna, what's wrong?”
“I know, Dani,” she replied, and it confused Daniela for a moment. “I know about the boys.”
The confusion cleared. “Oh. What happened?” She wasn't sure that she really even wanted to know, because it could only mean that she and Lena must have had a confrontation over it. Daniela knew it wouldn't have gone well.
“She said we're not friends anymore, Dani. I'm just worried about them, and now she hates me!” Anna was overcome with wracking sobs and Daniela wasn't sure what to do. “We've been best friends since we were six, Dani! And she just told me that she doesn't want to be my friend anymore, and that I don't care about the boys or her at all. I don't know what to do!”
Daniela was silent for a moment, thinking. She was going to have to leave and sort this out. There was no getting around it. “Alright listen, Anna, I'm coming over. Okay? Where is she?”
“I think next door, I don't know.” Anna was still sobbing, obviously upset over this.
“Okay, I'll be there in twenty minutes. Just calm down, Anna. I'm sure we can fix this.” She didn't believe a word of that, but she didn't want Anna to work herself into a frenzy.
“Okay. Dani I'm worried about them, all of them. Lena and the boys.”
“I know, Anna. Just wait until I get there, okay? We'll talk more then.” After reassuring her a final time, Daniela hung up and cursed their timing. Perhaps this was just another sign that her relationship with Bastian really was over. She couldn't stay, no matter how badly she wanted to. She walked back over to the family, mustering a look of annoyance to her face. “I have to go. Stupid project, Melanie somehow managed to delete my entire part of the presentation, so now I have to go and either find some way to salvage it that she doesn't know of, or I'll be up all night re-writing it.” It was a believable lie.
“Oh no, dear! What horrible timing.” Bastian's mother stood up, looking sad. “You'll at least have to let me fix you a bit of food to take with you, in case you are up all night writing.” She wandered off into the kitchen and Daniela glanced at Bastian.
“Do you want me to come with you?” He asked, as though he could sense there was something amiss. She could have kissed him for his perceptiveness.
“No, that's okay.” She tried to tell him with her eyes, though, that it wasn't okay.
He seemed to catch on. “Fine, but I'll at least walk you to the car. I can catch a ride in with Tobi later.” Ignoring his brother's remarks that he would have to pay for a ride, he followed Daniela into the house. After stopping to take the offered food (which consisted of a hunk of roast pork and some apple pie) the pair walked out to the front and quietly made their way outside.
Waiting until he was sure no one was watching, Bastian inquired. “What really happened?”
Daniela almost felt like lying to him, not wanting him to spend his night worrying. But he needed to know. “Anna knows.”
Silence permeated the air then, nearly crushing them. There was a reason why they hadn't told Anna. “What happened?”
“I don't really know,” she answered, while unlocking the car door. “All I know is that apparently Lena left with Lukas and told Anna that she doesn't think they should be friends anymore.”
“So, it must have been bad.” Bastian knew the girls well enough to know what their reactions meant.
“Really bad. I know you probably want to check in with Lukas right now, but you need to stay here with your family. Just give this a bit of time. I'll text you when I find out more, okay?” She placed her food on the passenger side seat before standing back up and looking at Bastian. “I'll try my best to fix this, okay? Don't worry or your family will know something is up.” What she really wanted to say was I had a wonderful time tonight, we should do this more often but she couldn't bring herself to say it. Especially not now.
He nodded, knowing that she was right. Leaving this in her hands was the smartest thing to do right now. It would just be hard to not think about it all night. “Good luck,” is what he left her with, and he wound his arms around her when she hugged him. “This was fun, Dani. We should do this more often.”
Her breath caught in her throat and she wished she could just stay right there, clinging to him, her face pressed into his neck. But instead she pulled away and nodded, unable to say anything. She slid into the car and started it, not caring if her split second departure was going to make him worry even more. If she looked at his face for another second she'd be kissing him. So instead she quickly pulled out of the driveway and drove down the road for a bit, not stopping until she was sure she was out of sight of his parents place.
Then she pulled over on the side of the road, stopped the car, and broke into sobs of her own. Continuing to play Bastian's girlfriend really was taking its toll on her, and she wasn't sure anymore how much longer she could keep it up.
Though she badly wanted to help, she needed her life back. It didn't even matter anymore if that life was with or without Bastian. She just couldn't keep up the facade much longer.