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Chapter 50 - NEW
It was nearing eleven in the morning and the boys had been awake for nearly an hour now. Bastian had been delighted upon waking up, a huge smile on his face growing more as he remember what had transpired last night. He'd actually fucked Lukas. Finally!
Right now he was making breakfast while Lukas was in the shower. Lukas himself had seemed a little bothered after waking up, but Bastian knew him well enough by now to know that he probably needed a bit of time alone to come to terms with what they'd done. He wouldn't pressure him about it, because the last thing he wanted was to push him further away. So instead Lukas was in the shower alone and Bastian was frying some eggs and cooking some sausage. He'd resist any jokes he'd be tempted to make later on.
Meanwhile off in the bathroom Lukas was simply standing under the water, his eyes closed and his arms folded over and leaning against the wall. He'd really done it last night. He wasn't going to delude himself into believing that just because he'd finally had sex with Bastian that things were going to change. He knew he'd only done it out of guilt, that it had been a way of proving to himself that he was still serious about his relationship. But the fact of the matter was that he'd still woken up and thought about his evening (date?) with Katya, and how happy it had made him.
And it wasn't that being with Bastian didn't make him happy (because it made him very happy) - it just wasn't the same. It could never be the same, because it could never be public. Everything would change. But he didn't really know what he could do. He didn't want to break things off with Bastian (especially not after last night, because if he was going to be honest, it actually had been pretty fantastic, and if he hadn't done it primarily out of guilt, he'd have thought it was even better) and he wasn't sure how strong his feelings were for Katya. Maybe he was just falling for her because he felt comfortable around her. But what if that was all he needed? Feeling comfortable with someone? Wasn't that why he'd fallen for Bastian anyway?
He could stay in the shower all day and debate with himself, so he figured he might as well just turn off the water now and go out to face the day. Maybe he ought to admit things to Bastian. Maybe he'd be able to help him sort out his feelings.
He quickly dried off and got dressed, suddenly feeling bold enough to admit to the romantic walk and kiss of the night before. He was sure Bastian would understand. Maybe he'd even support him having a public relationship with Katya as a cover?
But as soon as he walked out to the living room his phone rang, and before he had the chance to greet Bastian he picked the receiver up. It was his parents.
“Hey mom,” he answered, certain it was not his father calling. It wasn't really in Waldemar's style to randomly make a phone call.
“Lukas! How are you, sweetheart?” It was indeed his mother, and she sounded overjoyed to hear his voice, the way she always sounded she called him. It always made him feel guilty about moving away.
“I'm good, just got out of the shower actually. How are you?” He sat down on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table. He missed his family being around, but it was a blessing given his current situation. It was so much easier to hide things from your family when you didn't have to look them in the eye.
“Fine, sweetheart. Listen, your father and I were just having a talk.” Lukas frowned - usually when his parents had a talk, it resulted in something sudden and spur of the moment. “We're going to visit family in Poland in two weeks, but then we thought that maybe we ought to come and see you before! What do you think? After the end of the season, of course. Monday until Wednesday?”
Lukas knew that his mother wasn't really asking - this was her way of telling him that they were definitely coming and had already made their travel arrangements, and that if he had any plans of his own, he'd better change them. He didn't need to bother asking her where they planned on staying during their visit. “That sounds great! You can stay at my place if you want.” It was only polite to make the offer before she demanded it, of course.
“Are you sure, sweetie? You don't have anyone staying with you that we'll be inconveniencing?” He was glad he hadn't been drinking anything at that moment, otherwise it would have ended up all over his legs. He knew his mother was only joking (or shamelessly digging for information on his love life) but he still couldn't help but feel a tiny bit panicked.
So he laughed. “No, you know me! If I was dating anyone, I'd tell you.” He hoped he managed to sound amused, but it was hard to be sure at the moment.
“Oh that's too bad, dear! I'm sure soon enough you'll find yourself a lovely girl! Maybe you should come with us to Poland, I'm sure we could find you someone there. Maybe the German women just aren't what you're looking for!” His mother laughed, and he buried his face in his hand. Now he was really grateful this was only over the phone - at least for now.
He made himself laugh back at her, though it felt so forced to him. “You know I'd love to, but I have vacation plans already, actually.” He totally didn't have vacation plans, but that could be remedied easily. Besides, he was sure Bastian was going to want to go on vacation somewhere after the season. Maybe they could go somewhere that they wouldn't be recognized. Maybe somewhere in America. Football wasn't that big there.
“Oh that's too bad! Where are you going?”
He froze then, wondering what he ought to say. He hoped Bastian wouldn't kill him. “Oh, actually we're not sure. Basti and me, we were thinking of flying to New York and maybe checking it out. He likes their basketball team.” He wanted to smack himself in the face after making the comment - it sounded so unsure!
“Oh I'm sure it'll be nice, dear! That's so nice of Bastian, spending some time on holiday with you. Is he bringing his lady friend with him?” His mother sounded honestly curious, and Lukas further felt like slamming his head against the wall.
“Um, she has some work left for school. She might fly out later and join us. If it's cool,” he'd never been so squeamish about a telephone call before. He hated lying to his mother! It never ended well.
“Well it should be fun then, just you two boys! You'll have to bring us back some nice things.”
“Sure, mom,” Lukas knew there was no way he could possibly get out of a trip to New York now. Why hadn't he just said they hadn't decided yet?! “Listen, I should get going, I have breakfast cooking, don't want to burn anything! Get Tina to e-mail me the details of your travel plans, okay?”
“Sure thing, sweetheart! We're looking so forward to seeing you!”
“Me too, mom. Tell dad I said hi.”
“Of course, dear! Now you have a good last week there training and we'll see you soon! We love you, sweetheart!”
“Love you guys too,” Lukas forced himself to sound excited about the visit and was so grateful when he was finally able to hang up, though he felt like throwing his phone at the wall. The very last thing he needed right now was a visit from his parents.
“That your mom?” And there was Bastian, coming in to join him, two full plates in his hands. He passed one to Lukas, who took it while nodding to the question. “What did she want?”
“They're coming to visit in a week,” Lukas replied, before picking up his fork and spearing a sausage.
Bastian turned his head sharply, surprised. “How long?” That would be a tricky situation. Where was he going to stay?
“Only three days, at least.” Lukas took a bite of the meat, though he'd lost the appetite he'd managed to build up. He no longer felt like telling Bastian about his night with Katya, because his mind was focused on the problem of his parents visiting. “And I kind of told my mom we were going to New York on vacation, because she wanted me to go to Poland with them to try and find me a girlfriend.”
His comment was met with silence while Bastian tried to process what Lukas had just told him. They were going to New York now so Lukas could run away from his mother's attempt at setting him up? “Lukas, are you going to talk to your parents while they're here?” He wasn't sure why he asked, because it was kind of bad timing, given Lukas' shock and all. But he couldn't help it. Just hearing that Lukas' mother was determined to try and find him a girlfriend had Bastian feeling uneasy. The longer Lukas put this off, the worse it would be. Better to do it at the beginning of the summer break, so he could have some time to adjust to whatever his parents felt before training would start again.
“I don't know,” Lukas replied, laying his fork down. “I don't know if it would be the right time.”
“Of course it's the right time,” Bastian prodded, though the voice in the back of his head was telling him to shut up. “Better to get it out of the way quickly, you know? Unless you want to tell them when the season starts up again, so you can be distracted then?”
Lukas couldn't help but feel annoyed with his answer. Everything always seemed so damn easy to Bastian, didn't it? Nothing was ever a struggle for him? “Look, they're my parents, I'll decide when it's best to talk to them. You don't know anything about timing with them, anyway. You want me to tell them before they go to visit my grandmother? What if they told her? She's even more devout than my parents! If she knew what I was doing with you, she'd literally have a heart attack.” Lukas laid his plate down on the table, leaning over his knees and resting his head in his hands. He hadn't intended to snap at Bastian, but everything was piling up on him rather quickly and he needed some kind of outlet.
“I'm sorry,” Bastian said, before laying his plate down and moving closer to Lukas. He wrapped his arms around him and laid his chin on Lukas' shoulder. “I was wrong to push you, I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you, I know this will be harder for you than it is for me. I'm sorry if I don't understand how hard it is sometimes.”
Lukas' guilt came back when Bastian spoke. They always ended up this way, didn't they? Bastian was always the one trying to fix things when he noticed a problem, and Lukas always ended up feeling guilty when he realized it. But he had so many other things to feel guilty about today, and it just wasn't fair to Bastian if he spent the day acting mopey and distant. He just didn't know what else to do.
Bastian hated seeing Lukas bothered, and he was obviously bothered about this. He couldn't help but feel that maybe there was something else going on as well, though, something else Lukas was hiding from him. But then again it could also just be regret about last night, now that it was done and over with. The phone call with his parents had come at such a bad time for Lukas, mentally, and Bastian was desperate to distract him. So he pulled Lukas' hands away from his face and leaned over, kissing his cheek and wrapping his arm more tightly around his back. “Listen, I know you're upset this morning, and that's okay. Really, it's alright. Just don't let it ruin your day, okay? I think you need a little distraction.”
Lukas looked at him when he mentioned needing a distraction, slightly worried about what Bastian had in mind. “You think so, do you?” He tried to sound amused, and found that he didn't have to fake the smile that came to his lips. Being around Bastian really did have a soothing effect on him, all the time. Even if his problems related to Bastian, seeing that grin on his lips and the twinkle in his eyes when he looked at him always made Lukas feel better.
Bastian grinned even wider when he saw Lukas smile. It was so easy to make him feel better! “Yes I do. I couldn't help but notice that out of all the food on your plate, the first thing you went for was the sausage,” even though he'd told himself he wouldn't joke about it earlier, he felt that the joke would be okay to make now.
Lukas grinned and glanced at the plate, picking up the fork with the sausage on it. “It does kind of look like yours, I guess.” His guilt and anxiety melted away with the joke, and he couldn't help but tease Bastian back.
“It does not!” Bastian glared at him, “it's the wrong colour, and it's not the right size.”
“You're right, it's too big.” Lukas grinned even wider before taking a bite. “There, that's more like it!” He held the half eaten sausage before Bastian's face, pushing it against his lips. “Open up, mini Schweini wants to say hello!”
Bastian pushed Lukas' arm away, but couldn't help but laugh at him (though he wanted to glare). This was more like Lukas. He was grateful to the other for being so easily distracted. “I'm not putting that in my mouth! I don't know where it's been.” He winked at Lukas, who rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“It's been in my mouth, idiot!”
“Well, I don't know what else has been in your mouth,” Bastian shrugged and tried not to laugh (yet).
Lukas took another bite of it before casually replying. “Well, you've been in my mouth, you didn't seem to have any problem with it then.”
Bastian grinned and moved closer to him again, leaning over to kiss his neck. “That was different. It was also pretty fucking amazing too.”
Lukas grinned then, taking the last bite of his sausage before laying his fork back down on his plate. “Speaking of which, aren't you supposed to blow me again so we can see who's better?”
“I don't remember making that deal,” Bastian joked, before reaching out and resting his hand on the inside of Lukas' thigh, squeezing it lightly. “Are you sure you don't remember telling me that you wanted to blow me again? You know, to practice?”
“Oh I remember exactly what you said, and there was nothing about me blowing you again!” Lukas grinned and turned to face him, wondering if Bastian would actually consent to blowing him again this morning. He certainly couldn't complain, and he knew it would go a long way toward making him feel better.
Bastian shook his head slowly, secretly pleased that Lukas wasn't shying away from the idea of anything sexual this morning the way he feared he might. Even if it meant that he did end up having to blow Lukas again, he'd do it, and he'd do it without hesitation. He owed him that much after the sex last night. So he reached out a hand to grab Lukas, and mentally began preparing himself to blow his partner again. The idea was still just a tiny bit strange, but Bastian wasn't about to let strange get in the way of his happy morning.
Making a split second decision, Bastian opted to swallow again (mainly he was too lazy to bother getting up to get something to clean him off with) and it wasn't any more pleasant than the first time. He grimaced as he swallowed and hoped that Lukas would appreciate the lengths he was willing to go to for him. He sat up and looked down, unable to help the smile that sprang to his lips as he saw Lukas' face. His smile was as wonderful and charming as ever, and it looked even better because Bastian knew that he was responsible for putting it there.
Now that it was over, Lukas reached out for Bastian, finding his arms and pulling him down, wanting to feel his body pressing down on him. When he was caught in the moment like this, it all felt so wonderful, and so right. How could he possibly be contemplating anyone else? Sure, a relationship with a woman might be easier, but no matter who it was, she could never understand him the way Bastian did, and she could never make him feel the way Bastian made him feel.
As he felt the weight of the other man settle on top of him, and he felt Bastian's lips press to his forehead, Lukas pressed his face into the side of the Bavarian's neck, his lips crushing against Bastian's skin. “I love you,” he whispered against the skin, his voice muffled. He did love him, and while he was happy, he was still feeling a little guilty about things.
Bastian smiled at Lukas' proclamation (muffled as it was, he could still make it out) and brushed his fingers over Lukas' cheek. “I love you too, Chubs,” he grinned, not able to help but use his favourite nickname for Lukas (it had stuck, despite the fact that Lukas was working out again).
Lukas kept his face pressed to Bastian's neck, his guilt mounting up again a little when he heard the nickname. Hearing it made him think of things back then, and thinking of back then made him think of her, and he shouldn't be thinking of her right now but he was. No matter how many times he kept telling himself that Bastian was who he really wanted, and who he needed, she kept popping up. “I'm sorry,” he hadn't even realize he'd said it out loud at the moment, hadn't realized he'd even been thinking it.
Bastian frowned when Lukas apologized. For what? His moodiness of the morning? That had to be it, as far as he figured. And he understood, because he knew how worried Lukas was about his parents. So he tightened his arms around him a little and kissed his cheek and felt like telling Lukas' parents himself simply so they could get rid of the expectation and mystery. “It's okay, Poldi,” he said, kissing him again. “Everything will work out in the end, don't worry about it too much.”
Lukas felt even worse when Bastian spoke, because there was no way he could realize what he was actually apologizing for. He was probably worrying about other things now, and Lukas felt bad for making him worry. But he couldn't help how he was feeling at the moment. All he could do was cling to Bastian and hope it would pass in a moment the way it usually did - the guilt, and his burgeoning feelings for Katya.
It was nearing eleven in the morning and the boys had been awake for nearly an hour now. Bastian had been delighted upon waking up, a huge smile on his face growing more as he remember what had transpired last night. He'd actually fucked Lukas. Finally!
Right now he was making breakfast while Lukas was in the shower. Lukas himself had seemed a little bothered after waking up, but Bastian knew him well enough by now to know that he probably needed a bit of time alone to come to terms with what they'd done. He wouldn't pressure him about it, because the last thing he wanted was to push him further away. So instead Lukas was in the shower alone and Bastian was frying some eggs and cooking some sausage. He'd resist any jokes he'd be tempted to make later on.
Meanwhile off in the bathroom Lukas was simply standing under the water, his eyes closed and his arms folded over and leaning against the wall. He'd really done it last night. He wasn't going to delude himself into believing that just because he'd finally had sex with Bastian that things were going to change. He knew he'd only done it out of guilt, that it had been a way of proving to himself that he was still serious about his relationship. But the fact of the matter was that he'd still woken up and thought about his evening (date?) with Katya, and how happy it had made him.
And it wasn't that being with Bastian didn't make him happy (because it made him very happy) - it just wasn't the same. It could never be the same, because it could never be public. Everything would change. But he didn't really know what he could do. He didn't want to break things off with Bastian (especially not after last night, because if he was going to be honest, it actually had been pretty fantastic, and if he hadn't done it primarily out of guilt, he'd have thought it was even better) and he wasn't sure how strong his feelings were for Katya. Maybe he was just falling for her because he felt comfortable around her. But what if that was all he needed? Feeling comfortable with someone? Wasn't that why he'd fallen for Bastian anyway?
He could stay in the shower all day and debate with himself, so he figured he might as well just turn off the water now and go out to face the day. Maybe he ought to admit things to Bastian. Maybe he'd be able to help him sort out his feelings.
He quickly dried off and got dressed, suddenly feeling bold enough to admit to the romantic walk and kiss of the night before. He was sure Bastian would understand. Maybe he'd even support him having a public relationship with Katya as a cover?
But as soon as he walked out to the living room his phone rang, and before he had the chance to greet Bastian he picked the receiver up. It was his parents.
“Hey mom,” he answered, certain it was not his father calling. It wasn't really in Waldemar's style to randomly make a phone call.
“Lukas! How are you, sweetheart?” It was indeed his mother, and she sounded overjoyed to hear his voice, the way she always sounded she called him. It always made him feel guilty about moving away.
“I'm good, just got out of the shower actually. How are you?” He sat down on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table. He missed his family being around, but it was a blessing given his current situation. It was so much easier to hide things from your family when you didn't have to look them in the eye.
“Fine, sweetheart. Listen, your father and I were just having a talk.” Lukas frowned - usually when his parents had a talk, it resulted in something sudden and spur of the moment. “We're going to visit family in Poland in two weeks, but then we thought that maybe we ought to come and see you before! What do you think? After the end of the season, of course. Monday until Wednesday?”
Lukas knew that his mother wasn't really asking - this was her way of telling him that they were definitely coming and had already made their travel arrangements, and that if he had any plans of his own, he'd better change them. He didn't need to bother asking her where they planned on staying during their visit. “That sounds great! You can stay at my place if you want.” It was only polite to make the offer before she demanded it, of course.
“Are you sure, sweetie? You don't have anyone staying with you that we'll be inconveniencing?” He was glad he hadn't been drinking anything at that moment, otherwise it would have ended up all over his legs. He knew his mother was only joking (or shamelessly digging for information on his love life) but he still couldn't help but feel a tiny bit panicked.
So he laughed. “No, you know me! If I was dating anyone, I'd tell you.” He hoped he managed to sound amused, but it was hard to be sure at the moment.
“Oh that's too bad, dear! I'm sure soon enough you'll find yourself a lovely girl! Maybe you should come with us to Poland, I'm sure we could find you someone there. Maybe the German women just aren't what you're looking for!” His mother laughed, and he buried his face in his hand. Now he was really grateful this was only over the phone - at least for now.
He made himself laugh back at her, though it felt so forced to him. “You know I'd love to, but I have vacation plans already, actually.” He totally didn't have vacation plans, but that could be remedied easily. Besides, he was sure Bastian was going to want to go on vacation somewhere after the season. Maybe they could go somewhere that they wouldn't be recognized. Maybe somewhere in America. Football wasn't that big there.
“Oh that's too bad! Where are you going?”
He froze then, wondering what he ought to say. He hoped Bastian wouldn't kill him. “Oh, actually we're not sure. Basti and me, we were thinking of flying to New York and maybe checking it out. He likes their basketball team.” He wanted to smack himself in the face after making the comment - it sounded so unsure!
“Oh I'm sure it'll be nice, dear! That's so nice of Bastian, spending some time on holiday with you. Is he bringing his lady friend with him?” His mother sounded honestly curious, and Lukas further felt like slamming his head against the wall.
“Um, she has some work left for school. She might fly out later and join us. If it's cool,” he'd never been so squeamish about a telephone call before. He hated lying to his mother! It never ended well.
“Well it should be fun then, just you two boys! You'll have to bring us back some nice things.”
“Sure, mom,” Lukas knew there was no way he could possibly get out of a trip to New York now. Why hadn't he just said they hadn't decided yet?! “Listen, I should get going, I have breakfast cooking, don't want to burn anything! Get Tina to e-mail me the details of your travel plans, okay?”
“Sure thing, sweetheart! We're looking so forward to seeing you!”
“Me too, mom. Tell dad I said hi.”
“Of course, dear! Now you have a good last week there training and we'll see you soon! We love you, sweetheart!”
“Love you guys too,” Lukas forced himself to sound excited about the visit and was so grateful when he was finally able to hang up, though he felt like throwing his phone at the wall. The very last thing he needed right now was a visit from his parents.
“That your mom?” And there was Bastian, coming in to join him, two full plates in his hands. He passed one to Lukas, who took it while nodding to the question. “What did she want?”
“They're coming to visit in a week,” Lukas replied, before picking up his fork and spearing a sausage.
Bastian turned his head sharply, surprised. “How long?” That would be a tricky situation. Where was he going to stay?
“Only three days, at least.” Lukas took a bite of the meat, though he'd lost the appetite he'd managed to build up. He no longer felt like telling Bastian about his night with Katya, because his mind was focused on the problem of his parents visiting. “And I kind of told my mom we were going to New York on vacation, because she wanted me to go to Poland with them to try and find me a girlfriend.”
His comment was met with silence while Bastian tried to process what Lukas had just told him. They were going to New York now so Lukas could run away from his mother's attempt at setting him up? “Lukas, are you going to talk to your parents while they're here?” He wasn't sure why he asked, because it was kind of bad timing, given Lukas' shock and all. But he couldn't help it. Just hearing that Lukas' mother was determined to try and find him a girlfriend had Bastian feeling uneasy. The longer Lukas put this off, the worse it would be. Better to do it at the beginning of the summer break, so he could have some time to adjust to whatever his parents felt before training would start again.
“I don't know,” Lukas replied, laying his fork down. “I don't know if it would be the right time.”
“Of course it's the right time,” Bastian prodded, though the voice in the back of his head was telling him to shut up. “Better to get it out of the way quickly, you know? Unless you want to tell them when the season starts up again, so you can be distracted then?”
Lukas couldn't help but feel annoyed with his answer. Everything always seemed so damn easy to Bastian, didn't it? Nothing was ever a struggle for him? “Look, they're my parents, I'll decide when it's best to talk to them. You don't know anything about timing with them, anyway. You want me to tell them before they go to visit my grandmother? What if they told her? She's even more devout than my parents! If she knew what I was doing with you, she'd literally have a heart attack.” Lukas laid his plate down on the table, leaning over his knees and resting his head in his hands. He hadn't intended to snap at Bastian, but everything was piling up on him rather quickly and he needed some kind of outlet.
“I'm sorry,” Bastian said, before laying his plate down and moving closer to Lukas. He wrapped his arms around him and laid his chin on Lukas' shoulder. “I was wrong to push you, I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you, I know this will be harder for you than it is for me. I'm sorry if I don't understand how hard it is sometimes.”
Lukas' guilt came back when Bastian spoke. They always ended up this way, didn't they? Bastian was always the one trying to fix things when he noticed a problem, and Lukas always ended up feeling guilty when he realized it. But he had so many other things to feel guilty about today, and it just wasn't fair to Bastian if he spent the day acting mopey and distant. He just didn't know what else to do.
Bastian hated seeing Lukas bothered, and he was obviously bothered about this. He couldn't help but feel that maybe there was something else going on as well, though, something else Lukas was hiding from him. But then again it could also just be regret about last night, now that it was done and over with. The phone call with his parents had come at such a bad time for Lukas, mentally, and Bastian was desperate to distract him. So he pulled Lukas' hands away from his face and leaned over, kissing his cheek and wrapping his arm more tightly around his back. “Listen, I know you're upset this morning, and that's okay. Really, it's alright. Just don't let it ruin your day, okay? I think you need a little distraction.”
Lukas looked at him when he mentioned needing a distraction, slightly worried about what Bastian had in mind. “You think so, do you?” He tried to sound amused, and found that he didn't have to fake the smile that came to his lips. Being around Bastian really did have a soothing effect on him, all the time. Even if his problems related to Bastian, seeing that grin on his lips and the twinkle in his eyes when he looked at him always made Lukas feel better.
Bastian grinned even wider when he saw Lukas smile. It was so easy to make him feel better! “Yes I do. I couldn't help but notice that out of all the food on your plate, the first thing you went for was the sausage,” even though he'd told himself he wouldn't joke about it earlier, he felt that the joke would be okay to make now.
Lukas grinned and glanced at the plate, picking up the fork with the sausage on it. “It does kind of look like yours, I guess.” His guilt and anxiety melted away with the joke, and he couldn't help but tease Bastian back.
“It does not!” Bastian glared at him, “it's the wrong colour, and it's not the right size.”
“You're right, it's too big.” Lukas grinned even wider before taking a bite. “There, that's more like it!” He held the half eaten sausage before Bastian's face, pushing it against his lips. “Open up, mini Schweini wants to say hello!”
Bastian pushed Lukas' arm away, but couldn't help but laugh at him (though he wanted to glare). This was more like Lukas. He was grateful to the other for being so easily distracted. “I'm not putting that in my mouth! I don't know where it's been.” He winked at Lukas, who rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“It's been in my mouth, idiot!”
“Well, I don't know what else has been in your mouth,” Bastian shrugged and tried not to laugh (yet).
Lukas took another bite of it before casually replying. “Well, you've been in my mouth, you didn't seem to have any problem with it then.”
Bastian grinned and moved closer to him again, leaning over to kiss his neck. “That was different. It was also pretty fucking amazing too.”
Lukas grinned then, taking the last bite of his sausage before laying his fork back down on his plate. “Speaking of which, aren't you supposed to blow me again so we can see who's better?”
“I don't remember making that deal,” Bastian joked, before reaching out and resting his hand on the inside of Lukas' thigh, squeezing it lightly. “Are you sure you don't remember telling me that you wanted to blow me again? You know, to practice?”
“Oh I remember exactly what you said, and there was nothing about me blowing you again!” Lukas grinned and turned to face him, wondering if Bastian would actually consent to blowing him again this morning. He certainly couldn't complain, and he knew it would go a long way toward making him feel better.
Bastian shook his head slowly, secretly pleased that Lukas wasn't shying away from the idea of anything sexual this morning the way he feared he might. Even if it meant that he did end up having to blow Lukas again, he'd do it, and he'd do it without hesitation. He owed him that much after the sex last night. So he reached out a hand to grab Lukas, and mentally began preparing himself to blow his partner again. The idea was still just a tiny bit strange, but Bastian wasn't about to let strange get in the way of his happy morning.
Making a split second decision, Bastian opted to swallow again (mainly he was too lazy to bother getting up to get something to clean him off with) and it wasn't any more pleasant than the first time. He grimaced as he swallowed and hoped that Lukas would appreciate the lengths he was willing to go to for him. He sat up and looked down, unable to help the smile that sprang to his lips as he saw Lukas' face. His smile was as wonderful and charming as ever, and it looked even better because Bastian knew that he was responsible for putting it there.
Now that it was over, Lukas reached out for Bastian, finding his arms and pulling him down, wanting to feel his body pressing down on him. When he was caught in the moment like this, it all felt so wonderful, and so right. How could he possibly be contemplating anyone else? Sure, a relationship with a woman might be easier, but no matter who it was, she could never understand him the way Bastian did, and she could never make him feel the way Bastian made him feel.
As he felt the weight of the other man settle on top of him, and he felt Bastian's lips press to his forehead, Lukas pressed his face into the side of the Bavarian's neck, his lips crushing against Bastian's skin. “I love you,” he whispered against the skin, his voice muffled. He did love him, and while he was happy, he was still feeling a little guilty about things.
Bastian smiled at Lukas' proclamation (muffled as it was, he could still make it out) and brushed his fingers over Lukas' cheek. “I love you too, Chubs,” he grinned, not able to help but use his favourite nickname for Lukas (it had stuck, despite the fact that Lukas was working out again).
Lukas kept his face pressed to Bastian's neck, his guilt mounting up again a little when he heard the nickname. Hearing it made him think of things back then, and thinking of back then made him think of her, and he shouldn't be thinking of her right now but he was. No matter how many times he kept telling himself that Bastian was who he really wanted, and who he needed, she kept popping up. “I'm sorry,” he hadn't even realize he'd said it out loud at the moment, hadn't realized he'd even been thinking it.
Bastian frowned when Lukas apologized. For what? His moodiness of the morning? That had to be it, as far as he figured. And he understood, because he knew how worried Lukas was about his parents. So he tightened his arms around him a little and kissed his cheek and felt like telling Lukas' parents himself simply so they could get rid of the expectation and mystery. “It's okay, Poldi,” he said, kissing him again. “Everything will work out in the end, don't worry about it too much.”
Lukas felt even worse when Bastian spoke, because there was no way he could realize what he was actually apologizing for. He was probably worrying about other things now, and Lukas felt bad for making him worry. But he couldn't help how he was feeling at the moment. All he could do was cling to Bastian and hope it would pass in a moment the way it usually did - the guilt, and his burgeoning feelings for Katya.