(no subject)
Chapter 44 - After a nerve-wracked few hours watching Bayern take on Barcelona in the second leg of the Champion's League semi-final, Bastian decides to take another step in the relationship.
if you hear about a murder happening at the allianz tomorrow morning that would be me shoving schweini over the railing because he will not stop complaining and its really annoying
Lukas finished typing the text message and sent it off, grinning to himself as he slipped the phone back in his pocket. He glanced at Bastian, grinning when he saw the questioning stare being directed at him.
“What are you grinning about?” The Bavarian didn’t sound any happier than he looked, and he looked pretty miserable and grumpy right about now.
Lukas shrugged and turned slightly in his seat, facing Bastian and putting his arm on the back of the chair. “Nothing.”
Bastian frowned; having a feeling that Lukas was lying to him. “Whatever. You should make yourself useful and go buy me a beer.”
Lukas laughed at the demand. “Yeah, totally not happening. Maybe if you asked me a little bit nicer, I’d consider it.” Lukas winked at him and nudged his shoulder with his hand.
Bastian shook his head. “I’d go get it myself, but it is kind of hard to walk, remember?” He looked out at the field, watching as the reserves were warming up. He was grumpy because Bayern were currently losing the match by a score of 0-1 to Barcelona. He should be playing right now, but of course due to his injury that wasn’t happening.
“Hey, we didn’t have to come, you know. We could have stayed home where it would have been easier for you to get up and get your own beer. But no, you had to be here, so you have no one to blame but yourself.” While Lukas was a little concerned for Bayern as well, he knew there was still a whole second half in which to come back. He wasn’t giving up yet.
“I hate staying home and watching on TV, you know that.” Bastian crossed his arms as he watched the guys dribbling. He’d give anything to be out there right now. Watching the first half had been painful. While they had started out strong, Mark had appeared to have suffered some minor aggravation that was keeping him from playing his full game and it was showing. There was a distinct problem in the midfield and he sorely wanted to be in there helping out. But instead he was stuck here, watching from the stands.
Lukas rolled his eyes and shook his head, feeling just a little annoyed. Since Barcelona had scored in the fourteenth minute, Bastian had been doing nothing but complaining about the game and bemoaning the fact that he was stuck watching it from the stands. Lukas felt like slapping him.
“They seriously need to pick things up, I hope Hitzfeld addresses the Mark situation, because if he can’t play fully then-”
“I know, he should be pulled and replaced. You’ve only said it two dozen times in the past twenty minutes.”
“Well fuck, I’m sorry if I’m a little concerned about the game.”
“And there’s nothing wrong with that, but really, calm down. Otherwise I might have to throw you over the railing. Or leave you here to the mercy of the screaming girls.” Lukas grinned and looked at him, nudging his shoulder again, hoping for a grin or a smile.
Bastian was silent for a moment, before looking back at Lukas. “Sorry. You know I just hate it when we lose.” He looked back out at the field before speaking again. “You wouldn’t really leave me here, would you?”
Lukas was silent for a moment, before laying his hand on the back of Bastian’s neck and squeezing it. “Maybe. We’ll see how the second half goes.” He winked at Bastian before laughing. Bastian frowned, but it soon changed to a smile when Lukas didn’t pull his hand away.
remember how i said there would be a murder? make it a murder-suicide because he is annoying me so much right now i think death is the only option for escape
Lukas was tempted to simply excuse himself for the bathroom and then leave. Bastian’s complaints and comments were really getting on his nerves. Not only had he taken to criticizing every little thing the squad was doing, but he was also calling fouls on the Barcelona side where they didn’t exist. Lukas was tempted to cart him over to the fan block where his comments would fit in better. He just wanted to watch the game without bitter remarks every five seconds.
“The next time I watch a game with you, remind me to bring earplugs.” Lukas nudged him in the shoulder, grinning only because it was better than glaring. There was always the off chance he might be able to prod Bastian into better spirits after all.
Bastian ignored the comment, watching the field and yelling obscenities at the official when a foul was called against Lucio. Lukas glanced around them, making sure there were no children present. The last thing he wanted was some overprotective parent cursing Bastian for fouling their children’s ears. Luckily though there were no children in the VIP box today. He also hoped there was no one who would find it amusing to sell a story to the paper about an overly-aggressive and overly-zealous Bayern supporter by the name of Bastian Schweinsteiger, who was cursing his whole team throughout the game. Lukas had a feeling that was something management would not appreciate.
It wasn’t until the sixty-second minute that things managed to turn around. A corner was sent into the middle of the box and a deflected van Buyten header was delivered beautifully to a waiting Andreas Ottl, who easily dumped it into the back of the net. Bastian was so excited for the goal that he jumped out of his seat and bounced twice on his feet before feeling the surge of pain in his leg. Hissing his discomfort he sat back down, grabbing his thigh.
Lukas (who was also excited about the goal) could do nothing but laugh at him for being overly excited. Once the pain settled back down Bastian’s spirits appeared to be lifted tremendously (easily noticeable by the smile on his face in place of a frown), which made Lukas happy. Just as he was about to give in and offer to go and buy Bastian a beer, the unthinkable happened and less than two minutes after the equalizing goal, Lionel Messi managed to break away and score a second, boosting the Spanish side back into the lead. All smiles in the VIP box were gone, replaced by the frowns that were present minutes ago. Now they needed two more goals in order to advance. In all honesty, given the way they were playing, Lukas didn’t think that was possible.
There were only twelve minutes left in the game now, and Barcelona looked to be firmly back in the lead. In the span of four minutes the Spanish side had registered another five shots on the goal and it was only due to Oliver Kahn’s stunning performance that they weren’t down by more. As the keeper grabbed the fifth shot out of the air he roared at his teammates to get down the field, and he kicked the ball well into the Barcelona half, angry at their display today. He hadn’t found himself this angry in a while on the field, and he was half-tempted to run down into the other half himself and take matters into his own hands.
Back up in the stands Bastian had gone back to critiquing the team, complaining about Willy’s foul from a second ago, and the subsequent yellow card the French international had received for complaining about it. Lukas thought it was a really good thing that Bastian didn’t have a beer, otherwise he feared the explosive Bavarian may very well have thrown it down onto the field. Lukas couldn’t recall ever seeing him this pissed off before. It was slightly disturbing.
As time went on and they crept closer to the end of the game Bastian got considerably more agitated and Lukas simply stopped talking to him. It was tense, of course, but it just wasn’t comfortable right now. He watched the game with hopeful eyes, picking up missed passing opportunities. And when Brazzo had a clear chance on goal and missed it by inches, Bastian was livid.
The game eventually ended with the same 1-2 score line, and Bayern were knocked out of the competition while Barcelona advanced. Lukas felt bad for his team, having wanted nothing more for them but to carry on. They were Germany’s best hope for international prizes after all, but this year did not appear to be conducive to getting their hands on any. The mood in the stadium was heavy and the Bayern players did not linger long on the field once the whistle was blown. Many of the fans had already started piling out of the stadium, unwilling to stick around and share in their anguish with the crowd. Normally after games they would have wandered down to the dressing room to chat with their teammates, but neither Bastian nor Lukas much felt like it at the moment. Bastian was too angry and bitter over the loss, and Lukas was simply too worried about Bastian’s temperament. Instead they made their way quietly to Lukas’ car, opting to stay out of the way of as many fans as possible.
The drive home from the stadium was quiet, and Lukas felt uneasy. Of course it hurt that they’d lost, but at the same time there was nothing he could do about it. He’d come to accept that by now, and sitting around moping about their exit from the Champion’s League would do no one any good. Bastian, however, was not seeing that logic. Lukas hoped he’d perk up when they got home. But when they finally did arrive and he helped his still injured partner inside, Bastian’s mood only seemed to worsen. And when Lukas tried to distract him in what he thought would be the surest way (by kissing him and forcing his still nervous hand to venture down there for a spell) Bastian wasn’t interested.
“Don’t you care that we just lost the game? That we’re out of the Champion’s League?” Bastian was moodily slumped back into the armchair he’d chosen to occupy instead of his half of the couch, looking up at Lukas, who was standing in front of him.
“Of course I do, you know that.” He was trying to remind himself that Bastian was simply grumpy after watching his team waste their chance to progress. He didn’t take loss very well on a good day, and today was made worse by the fact that he’d been injured just days prior and couldn’t do anything to help.
“I guess the fact that we lost out to Barcelona softens it for you though, doesn’t it?” Bastian wasn’t intending the comment to be bitter, but Lukas couldn’t help but take it that way.
“Are you trying to say that I’m not totally behind Bayern?” He crossed his arms, standing still and staring down at Bastian. He really ought to walk away though; he knew that, this was getting a little too out of hand. But he couldn’t.
Bastian just shook his head, not entirely sure what he was trying to say. He was in a rotten mood and he knew he shouldn’t be taking it out on Lukas. He was trying, but it was hard. And maybe the fact that they’d lost to Barcelona was impacting him a bit more because he hated the team so much. It was stupid; he knew that. But it still didn’t change things.
“In case you’ve forgotten, you’re not the only one who’s injured and can’t play. I’ve been dealing with this for weeks, how do you think I feel? You’ll be back next week; I probably still have months.”
Bastian shook his head. “It’s different, though.”
Lukas looked at him, confused by the comment. “Oh really?”
Bastian was still too sore over the loss (and sore from his injury, which certainly wasn’t doing his frame of mind any good) to really consider what he was saying. “No offence or anything, but before you got injured you weren’t exactly having the greatest run of luck with the club. You weren’t even starting every week; Roy and Pizza have been doing a good job without you. Our problem is in the midfield, and if I’d been playing I could have made a difference.”
The words hit Lukas like a boot to the stomach. For a few seconds he couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, couldn’t even breathe. How could Bastian have said that? Reputation as a sore loser be damned, that comment was cruel and Lukas had no idea how to react. When Bastian didn’t say anything after it, didn’t apologize immediately and beg forgiveness, Lukas felt even more betrayed. But instead of saying anything he simply turned and walked away, out of the living room and down the hall, shutting the door behind him when he entered his bedroom, sliding down to the floor and sitting against the door.
It was one thing to deal with that knowledge on your own, or to have critics and strangers and outsiders say it. But when someone close to you, someone who was supposed to understand everything about you, when someone that important said something of that magnitude, it hurt ten times more. And of course now that things between them had changed, now that they had this new intimacy between them, it magnified the intensity of the pain. Bastian was supposed to be the person who was going to comfort him if anyone else ever said anything of that nature. So what was he supposed to do when Bastian was the one making the comment?
While Lukas was diving into emotional turmoil behind his bedroom door, Bastian was still sitting in the living room, feeling like more of an asshole with every second that dragged by. How could he have said that? He hadn’t been thinking when he’d spoken. His head had been filled with self-pity and anger and he’d been too selfish to think about anyone else. He hadn’t even realized the full impact of the words until he’d seen Lukas turn and walk away. Only then did he stop to think about what he’d actually said. When the words came back to him he’d bit his lip, at a loss for what to do. Nothing he could say or do would take the words back or lessen their impact. He’d hurt Lukas with them, and that was all that mattered. Should he go and apologize? Would Lukas even listen to him? He wouldn’t blame him if Lukas refused to speak to him for the rest of the night. He wouldn’t really want to speak to himself either right now.
But he had to try. He got up from the chair, grimacing a bit from his leg. He limped his way to the hall, pausing when he saw the closed door ahead. But he still walked down the hall, stopping in front of it. He was going to knock until he heard Lukas’ voice. Polish. Bastian winced when he realized he’d probably called Tina. So he gingerly manoeuvred himself down until he was sitting on the floor. He felt odd, as though he was listening in on a private conversation. But it was one he couldn’t understand.
Lukas hadn’t been sure what he was going to say when he’d dialled the phone number. All he knew was that he wanted to talk to someone, and as usual, his fingers wound up dialling his sister’s number. She picked up and greeted him with a sorrowful few words about Bayern’s loss. He didn’t care to hear them right now.
“Tina, has Steffan ever said anything to you that really hurt you?”
There was a second of silence before she responded, and Lukas could envision her eyes narrowing and lip curling in a snarl. “Did Bastian say something to you?”
“That’s not important, Tina.”
“The fuck it isn’t! If that asshole hurt you enough that you felt the need to call me, I’ll fly down there and kill him myself.”
Lukas couldn’t help but grin just a little. No matter how old he got, she was still intent on protecting him. “Tina, calm down. This is between me and him; I don’t want you to get involved.” He had a feeling if he’d let her, Tina would demand to speak with Bastian and she’d spend an hour blasting his ear off without even knowing what it was he’d done in the first place.
“I want to know what he said.”
“Tina, if you don’t stop threatening him and answer my question, I’m hanging up.” He knew that was the only way to get her to calm down and focus on what he wanted her to focus on.
There were a few seconds of silence as he heard her breathe deeply. “Fine. In answer to your question, yes, Steffan and I have had a few moments of rather heated speech towards one another.”
“How do you deal with that? I mean, when you know he didn’t mean it, when you know he’s just taking his frustration out on you, what do you do?” Lukas sincerely wanted to know. As hurt and betrayed as he felt, it hadn’t really been Bastian speaking. Or rather, it hadn’t been his Bastian speaking. He didn’t want to hold this over them for long. But on the other hand, how could he possibly forgive what had been said?
“Well, sometimes you’re just mad about it for a few days. There have been times when I haven’t spoken to Steffan for a few days at a time. Eventually your anger about it just goes away, and you accept that some things just aren’t worth carrying around.”
That didn’t really help Lukas, though. He didn’t want to be mad for a few days. “I don’t know, Tina. You know me; I don’t stay mad at people. But I can’t just let him off the hook for this.” He knew the comment would only spark her interest further, but he couldn’t get around it at the moment.
Another deep breath from Tina was heard before she spoke. “I’m really trying my hardest not to badger it out of you, I just want you to appreciate that.”
“I do.”
“Right, well, I don’t know what to tell you. Would it make you feel any better if you yelled at him and kicked him out of your apartment?”
“No.”
“And would it make you feel any better if you made him sleep on the couch? Well, provided you guys are sleeping together. Are you sleeping together?”
Lukas shook his head in bemusement at the question. “No, and yes.”
“Right, wow. Um, well then, what do you want from him? If you’re not going to be mad at him and give him the cold shoulder, what else can you do?”
Now it was Lukas’ turn to be silent, pondering her question. What would make him feel better? He wasn’t sure if anything could make him feel better right now. Maybe it was simply the reality of the comment that was hurting the most. “I don’t know, Tina. I guess I’m not really mad at him. Just unhappy with my situation.”
Tina was silent now too. “How’s your training going?”
“Okay. Actually I think it’s harder than it was before, to be honest. Being there every day but not being able to actually train for the game, not being able to even kick the ball around… It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. It was fine at first, just being able to do anything at all anymore. But now everything is starting to sink in a bit more, and I just want to be back. I want to play again. I want to matter again.” He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to keep from rambling continually about this. The thought hadn’t been in his mind too much over the past few days, but it had been there. He missed playing, and he desperately wanted to be able to prove himself again. And given the comment Bastian had just made, Lukas was feeling a little nervous that he wasn’t the only one doubting the effect his absence was having on the team.
“Been keeping that to yourself for a while, Luka?” Tina knew him well enough to pick up on the changes in his tone of voice when he was admitting something hard. She longed to be there right now, to be able to hug him and tell him that everything would be okay. But she couldn’t and the fact that something had now come between him and Bastian only made her feel more anxious to be with him.
“Yeah. I think I have.” He paused for a moment, coming to a decision. “Well, I think I’ll go, then. Thanks for listening, Tina.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie. You know you can call me whenever you need me.” She hesitated a second before adding in a closing sentiment. “And if he’s ever an ass to you again, I really will come down and hurt him. Tell him that.”
Lukas grinned at the threat. “I’ll pass it on.”
“Great. Well then, back to my other baby, I guess. I love you, kid.”
“I love you too, you overprotective old hag.” He hung up just as he heard her start to respond, grinning and laughing a bit. He laid his phone on the floor, not bothering to get up and put it back on the charger. He remained sitting for a minute, thinking everything through. As badly as the comment from Bastian had hurt him, he knew he didn’t have a choice except to get over it. It was in his nature to let things go, and maybe if he did that, Bastian’s mood would lighten and they’d be able to salvage their night. It might not be easy, but it was necessary. He just had to trust Bastian in that he hadn’t meant to hurt him.
He stood up, deciding to go out and get this over with as soon as possible. Sitting in his room and stewing over it would do him more harm than good. He opened his door and nearly tripped over Bastian. He stood still for a second, staring down at him. “What are you doing?”
Bastian stared up at him, surprised. While he’d been listening to Lukas speak to his sister in that foreign language he didn’t understand, he’d gotten lost in his own head, worrying about what he was telling her, about what he was thinking. He was afraid right now that Lukas wouldn’t speak to him. He wouldn’t sleep tonight if he knew Lukas was angry.
So now as he looked up at Lukas, who was standing over him, perplexed, he said the only thing he could think of. “I’m sorry.” He knew it wasn’t enough; it could never make up for what he’d said earlier. But he had to say something.
Lukas nodded, not saying anything. He simply stood there, staring down at him.
Bastian was getting nervous all over again. Should he say something? Wait for Lukas to speak? He could feel his stomach churning, his nerves doing a number on his insides. What was he going to say to make it up to him? Would Lukas even let him try?
Just as Bastian was about to speak, Lukas did instead. “It’s okay. I forgive you for what you said.” Surprisingly the moment he said it, he felt a lot better.
But Bastian wasn’t so easily placated. “No, it’s really not okay. I don’t know what happened; I don’t know why I said that. But I’m sorry.”
“You said it because you were frustrated. I was an easy target-”
“But you shouldn’t be a target, though. You should never be a target, not for me.” Bastian reached out, laid his hand on Lukas’ leg, wishing he’d sit down. This felt too strange, having this conversation with Lukas standing and looking down at him.
Lukas nodded, not really wanting to continue the conversation. “I know, and I’m not excusing what you did. I’m just saying that I understand, and I don’t want this to hang over us.”
“It won’t, if you don’t want it to. You should be pissed at me, but if you’re willing to just let it go, then I’m really lucky.” He paused and squeezed Lukas’ leg. “Would you please sit down?”
Lukas hadn’t even really realized the uncomfortable position Bastian was in sitting on the floor. He stared down at him for a moment, a faint smile on his lips. “I’m quite happy standing, actually.”
Bastian frowned. “Poldi, stop being an ass and sit down, please. I’m tired of looking up your nose.” He grinned after his comment, deciding that if Lukas wanted to move past this quickly, then he would do the same.
Lukas grinned at the comment before giving in and sitting down. He sat against the wall, directly next to Bastian. “So, what should we do now?” As long as they left the conversation behind, Lukas would be happy.
A mischievous grin crossed Bastian’s lips as he leaned a little closer to Lukas. “Well I think I’m ready for that distraction now.” He stared Lukas in the eyes as he reached for his hand, pulling it toward him and placing it between his legs. His other hand shot up to grab Lukas behind the neck, pulling his head closer. Just as he was about to kiss him, Lukas pulled away.
“I’m not really in the mood anymore.” He looked away for a second, staring at the wall before looking back at Bastian. He was trying to look as serious as possible.
Bastian saw through his façade. “Oh please, don’t try pulling that with me.” He grabbed Lukas’ neck again and pulled his head closer, finally pressing their lips together. Lukas didn’t struggle a second time. He kissed back energetically, happy now that Bastian was in a better mood.
Bastian was quite impressed when Lukas was so quick to jump into the kiss given what had just happened. He was truly amazed sometimes at how quickly Lukas let go of problems. He himself had a bad habit of keeping things bottled up and holding grudges, but seeing how letting go of things shifted Lukas’ mood so easily made him wonder if he ought to alter his own way of doing things. After a moment spent groping and kissing each other, Bastian pulled back a bit, looking at Lukas and grinning.
“Hey I just wanted to say thanks, for finally getting over your issues and really getting into this. I never said anything the other day, and I really should have.” Even though he knew he’d probably end up embarrassing Lukas with the comment, Bastian wanted to make it anyway.
As expected once he heard the comment Lukas shook his head at it, and Bastian could see his cheeks flush a little. “Shut up.” Lukas playfully nudged him, turning his head to look at the wall.
Bastian grinned. “No really, I appreciate that you actually tried and kept this going. I know you were pretty uncomfortable with everything at first, and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it every time you do something. This hasn’t been as easy for you as it was for me.” He slid one arm behind Lukas, leaning his body against him.
Lukas couldn’t help but smile as Bastian went on. As corny as it sounded, he did have a point. When Bastian finished Lukas looked at him, kissing him suddenly. “Thanks.” He didn’t really need to say anything more than that.
Bastian kissed him back. “Eloquent as always.” He pinched Lukas in the side, grinning mischievously.
Lukas frowned and pushed his hand away. “Stop making fun of me.” He tried to keep the frown up but eventually he started smiling again, powerless to fight it.
Bastian grinned and pulled him closer, kissing his neck. “Who said I was making fun of you? Sometimes the shortest answers are the best worded ones.”
Lukas rolled his eyes at the comment before laughing. “Listen to you, getting all sappy.”
Bastian laughed. “I’m not being sappy, you dick. I really meant that.” He kissed his neck again, probing the skin lightly with his tongue.
“Well, stop sucking up then. I already said that I forgive you.” Lukas grinned as Bastian continued to kiss and lick his neck.
“If I were sucking up to you, I think I’d be doing it to another part of your body.” Bastian whispered the comment into Lukas’ ear, his tongue licking the earlobe.
Lukas practically shivered at the comment, as the words had their intended reaction. “Oh really? And what part would that be?” He knew exactly what Bastian meant, but he decided to play along.
Bastian continued to play with Lukas’ ear as one hand crept forward over his leg, his fingers stretching out to lightly touch him in that mentioned spot. “I think you know.” His fingers squeezed and Bastian could feel that Lukas was definitely getting hard.
“And what exactly would you be doing with it?” Lukas was getting turned on by this, quite easily too. He thought that he ought to be slightly unnerved by the way Bastian could work him so easily, but then he decided that he quite enjoyed it.
Bastian grinned and nibbled on Lukas’ earlobe for a moment before answering. “What do you want me to do with it?” He wasn’t sure if Lukas would actually have the nerve to ask for anything, but he thought he’d give him a chance to try anyway. It would be extremely hot if he could manage to get Lukas to be a little demanding about these things, the way Daniela had been. But given Lukas’ selfless personality, the fact that he never asked anyone for anything might make that a little harder to accomplish. Bastian still wanted to try.
Lukas didn’t answer for a moment, debating what to say. Was Bastian honestly asking him what he wanted? Or was he just playing around? Because right at this moment Lukas couldn’t help but think that it would probably feel pretty damn good to get what Bastian was subtly offering. But was he really intending to follow through with it? Lukas still had trouble picturing it, because doing this with hands was so much different than the mouth.
Regardless he just couldn’t bring himself to actually say it. “Whatever you want to do with it.” He’d be better off letting Bastian decide.
Bastian suppressed a sigh. He’d been hoping that Lukas would surprise him and come right out and say it, but he had a feeling it might take Lukas a bit longer to get comfortable with the idea before he could vocalize any demands. And really, he could still offer him at least a bit of control. “Really? Anything at all?”
“Well, maybe not anything, knowing you.” Lukas grinned and closed his eyes, leaning his head back on Bastian’s shoulder.
Bastian laughed and kissed Lukas’ neck. “Smart answer. But let’s say I was planning to use my mouth this time, would you be okay with that?” He hesitated for a moment before kissing him again, wanting to make sure Lukas really would be okay with it. Just because he was getting involved now it didn’t necessarily mean he was suddenly okay with everything.
Lukas hesitated too, really thinking about it. So Bastian was planning on taking it another step further. He was okay with that, right? He could handle that. “Yeah, that’s okay.”
Bastian kissed him once he spoke, his hand squeezing him. “Are you sure?”
Lukas nodded. “I’m sure.”
Bastian smiled and kissed him again. Was he actually ready for this too? It was fine to talk about it and think about it, but was he actually ready to push things further? He hadn’t exactly ever done this before either, so he was, in all honesty, just as lost as Lukas. But he was expected to be the aggressive one, the leader, and he wasn’t intending on being nervous about this. He couldn’t, he had to be confident that it would go well. “Excellent. So, why don’t you lie down?”
Lukas turned his head to look at him. “Right here?”
Bastian grinned. “Why, is that a problem? Your carpet is pretty comfortable.” Bastian really hoped that he could manage to do this and be comfortable. As long as he could keep his leg from hurting, that was the important thing.
Lukas hesitated for a moment, as though he was weighing the options. His wild side won out over his conservative side though and he moved away from the wall, lying down in the middle of the carpeted hallway. He hadn’t exactly pictured this moment to happen here, but then he supposed that really, doing it in the hallway suited them better than doing it on the bed.
Bastian sat still for a second, watching as Lukas got comfortable. This was quite amusing, really, the fact that he was about to give him a blow job on the floor in his hallway. But laughing wasn’t quite in the picture at the moment, so instead he concentrated on getting into position himself. He slid down on the floor, arranging his leg in the most comfortable position possible. He looked at Lukas’ jeans, keeping his eyes focused on the button and zipper he was currently working to undo. This was it. Though he’d pictured this moment numerous times in his head (mostly forcing himself to envision it so he would be able to go through with it when they finally got here) now that he was here, lying between Lukas’ legs, seconds away from putting tongue to dick, he couldn’t help but be extremely nervous about it. No doubt about it, this was going to be odd. The last time he’d jerked Lukas off he’d actually licked a bit of the cum off his fingers before washing his hand in the bathroom. The taste hadn’t exactly been to his liking and he’d suddenly developed a whole new level of respect for women (at least those ones willing to swallow). But now he didn’t have any more time to prepare for this and he was wishing he could make the seconds tick by just a little bit slower.
But then he thought about how nervous Lukas was (probably more nervous than he was, even though Lukas would be on the receiving end) and he knew he couldn’t afford to waste any more time. He unzipped the jeans, peeling them back and sticking his hand under the fabric, gripping Lukas’ now fully-hard erection through his briefs. After a few seconds worth of squeezing he pulled his hand back out and started tugging on the jeans. Lukas held himself up from the floor, allowing Bastian to pull more easily. He didn’t bother taking them off completely, he simply pulled them down far enough so they weren’t in the way. He knew from experience that Lukas wouldn’t really need to move his legs, after all.
Without casting the customary glance up at Lukas (he was simply too nervous at the moment to take his focus off his task) he moved his hands to Lukas’ underwear, gripping him through the fabric. He was racing through memories in his head of previous blowjobs. Hadn’t there been something Dani had done to him that he’d really liked? Clamping her mouth over him before taking his underwear off? He couldn’t help but feel like an idiot for trying it right now, but he had really liked it when she’d done it, so it was worth a try. If he was really going to try this, he might as well try everything he could remember.
So he leaned his head down and pressed his mouth against the already slightly damp fabric of the white briefs, forcing his tongue out to press against the fabric, probing at Lukas through it. Fuck, this was weird! But he did manage to hear Lukas hiss when he made contact, so Bastian was slightly relieved he’d reacted positively. He kept it up for a few seconds before finally moving his mouth away and hurriedly pulling the clinging fabric away, revealing the skin of Lukas’ dick. Without pausing for a second thought, Bastian immediately pressed his mouth to it, forcing himself not to pull away when he thought about what he was doing. This was so much easier to think about and envision. Actually doing it was very odd.
He closed his eyes and took hold of it with one hand, squeezing the base of it tightly as he licked the tip of it. That salty taste was there again and in reality Bastian wanted to make himself slow down, to take all the time he needed to properly get used to this. But he was worried if he did that he might chicken out and stop, and he couldn’t do that to Lukas. He had to go on and do it and act like it was the easiest thing in the world.
He took the shaft of it in his mouth, fully engulfing it, and only then did he force himself to stop. He hoped Lukas wouldn’t notice how nervous he was with this; he hoped he’d just appear to be taking his time. He was so lost in concentration that he didn’t realize what he was actually doing until he heard Lukas let out a hiss that didn’t sound as though it stemmed from pleasure.
“Um, can you not use your teeth? That kind of hurts…”
He pulled away from Lukas, looking up at him in shock. Had he really been grazing it with his teeth? How had he not noticed? That didn’t really matter though, as he sought for an excuse of some sort. “Sorry, I know some guys like it that way, so I thought I’d try-”
“I don’t think they like it the way you were doing it.” Lukas grinned suddenly, reading Bastian’s facial expression perfectly. “You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”
And there it was. Bastian hadn’t wanted it to seem that way, he’d wanted desperately for Lukas to think that he knew exactly what to do. He’d thought it would make him less nervous.
Lukas was still grinning, amused at the situation. “It’s okay, you know. You don’t have to know everything.”
Bastian finally broke out of his surprised trance, scrunching his face up a bit. “Sorry, I just wanted you to think I knew what I was doing, thought you’d be less nervous about it.”
Lukas smiled at the words, reaching down to rest one of his hands on top of Bastian’s. “Honestly, it makes me more comfortable to know that you haven’t had another guy’s dick in your mouth.”
Bastian smiled at Lukas’ words, realizing that he was right. It had been kind of stupid to be faking expertise in this area. “Thanks. So how about I try this again and we forget that bit just happened?” He grinned at Lukas before squeezing him again and leaning forward to kiss his thigh. Lukas just nodded lazily and dropped his head back down to the carpet. He didn’t want to make Bastian nervous by watching him.
Now that the topic of his inexperience in giving blowjobs had been addressed, Bastian felt considerably less nervous about the whole thing. So he started over, bringing his mouth down and slowly pressing his lips to Lukas’ sensitive skin. It wasn’t so bad, and he was certain for the first time now that he could actually do this. When he pressed his lips to it again he opened them slightly, sucking a bit of the skin into his mouth. He allowed himself more time to think, more time to remember. He pictured back to those times when Daniela would do this, trying to remember what she would do (before he’d lose all sense of awareness of course) and tried to replicate it.
He was able to focus more on Lukas now, on his reaction to everything. He even glanced up the length of his partner’s body, seeing Lukas pressing his head back into the carpet, one hand pressing against his forehead. He took that as a good sign. He returned his focus to the task at hand (and mouth) and actually kept his eyes open this time as he sucked and licked. He’d never really focused so much on the appendage before and he had to agree with those times he and Daniela had argued over just how ugly the thing was. He felt a little weird thinking of her and their silly debates while blowing Lukas, but he had a feeling that if she could read his mind right now she’d probably laugh so hard her sides would hurt. Surprisingly the thought actually made this even easier.
And while Bastian was busy reflecting on this, Lukas was getting lost in the blissful waves of pleasure that were starting to rock his mind, lulling it into a state of contentment. He’d closed his eyes long ago and was fully intent on not thinking about it and just letting his body react. Every little lick was perfect, every gentle squeeze was another brush on his subconscious, telling him that this was definitely all perfectly right. He’d never experienced something that had felt as good as this, and he was hoping it wouldn’t stop any time soon. He wasn’t even thinking about the fact that it was Bastian down there doing it anymore; all he could think of was the fact that this felt absolutely amazing.
The more time he spent doing this, the easier it was for Bastian. Maybe it was just the fact that he’d admitted to Lukas that he didn’t really know what he was doing, yet whatever he was doing was obviously wreaking havoc (in a good way) over his partner’s senses. Every little noise Lukas was making was pushing Bastian on, letting him enjoy this too. It was definitely a different reaction Lukas was giving right now, one that Bastian couldn’t really explain, but that he could feel. Lukas was giving in on a different level and Bastian loved it. He finally understood what Daniela had meant that time she’d tried to explain to him how giving one could be just as rewarding as receiving one if you simply paid attention to the way your partner was reacting to it. He was feeling that right now, with the way Lukas was responding to every flick of the tongue.
He took him fully in his mouth again (or as fully as he could manage) and experimented with different actions, sucking and swirling his tongue and even lightly (very lightly) grazing it with his teeth. Lukas hissed again, but this time it wasn’t in pain.
By this point Lukas was completely gone in his head, unable to recall anything about the moment; he was far too focused on the pleasurable mouth around his cock to think of anything else. He’d also by now threaded his fingers into Bastian’s hair, gripping his partner’s scalp with no regard as to how it felt. Luckily for him Bastian quite enjoyed the fingers. He was starting to feel as though he was coming closer to the edge, about to hit peak at any second. Instead of considerately alerting Bastian to this fact (mostly because he’d kind of forgotten that was a person down there, mostly because he was completely out of his mind) he pressed Bastian’s head closer to him, keeping him firmly in place.
When Bastian felt Lukas press down on his head he had an idea that his partner was about to come, and he also knew he really didn’t have any other choice but to take it in the mouth. He didn’t want to pull away and risk lessening the impact on Lukas. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to having it fill his mouth, but he was determined to at least try it once. Hopefully Lukas would be too out of it to notice if he had to spit it out.
Judging by the sudden rigidness of Lukas’ body (along with his suddenly sped up panting) Bastian had exactly three seconds to prepare himself before he felt the first shot hit the back of his throat. He barely kept himself from gagging on it, not really as prepared as he’d thought he was. He didn’t even realize until after Lukas went limp back into the floor (and in his mouth) that it was finally over and that he only had seconds to decide what to do with the excess of fluid in his mouth.
It wasn’t until he remembered that his leg was hurt (miraculously he’d managed to get through this without twisting it into a painful position) that he realized that unless he wanted to spend ages with it in his mouth, he was going to have to suck it up and swallow. It wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever tasted, but it wasn’t exactly pleasurable either and the texture of it kind of coated his throat and made him grimace. He’d squeezed his eyes shut too, as though that would help in some way. It of course didn’t. And when he opened them again he found a very pleased looking Lukas staring down at him with a dumb smile on his face.
“Did you actually swallow that?” Bastian wasn’t sure if it was the wondrous after effects of the blow job, or if Lukas simply found it too funny, but his speech was so mumbled Bastian could barely make out what he’d said.
Bastian made a show of glaring at Lukas before responding. “Sadly, yes.”
Lukas responded by laughing. “You loser.” He let his head drop back against the carpet, still laughing.
Bastian was annoyed for a few seconds before he found himself starting to laugh too. He lowered his head, kissing the inside of Lukas’ thigh. He’d forgive him for the comment. “Yeah, but I’m only a loser because I love you.” He grinned and waited for Lukas’ response.
The laughter stopped for exactly two seconds while Lukas barely managed to lift his head up and look down at him. “Good enough reason.” He dropped his head back down and sighed contentedly. Bastian smiled while he watched him, feeling happy with the reaction. Lukas had obviously enjoyed it (mumbling and giddy laughter were two signs that Lukas was extremely happy) and that had really been the intent.
Once Lukas had a few moments to settle down slightly from his euphoric haze he spoke again, though he didn’t bother looking down at Bastian this time. “That was great, by the way. Thank you.”
Bastian grinned at the comments, rubbing one hand over Lukas’ left leg. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Without disturbing Lukas’ post-orgasm moment, Bastian pulled his underwear back up, tucking Lukas back into them. He then very carefully pushed himself up the hallway, keeping his leg in a comfortable position (as comfortable as possible while moving) and stopping when he reached level with Lukas’s chest. He propped himself on his elbows, staring down at Lukas. Lukas still had that silly grin on his face and his eyes were closed and Bastian well knew that feeling. He was happy he’d managed to bring Lukas there on his very first try.
Lukas could sense Bastian beside him and he reached out with his hands, pulling his partner down on top of him. He opened his eyes and looked into Bastian’s. “Should I kiss you or make you brush your teeth first?”
Bastian laughed and brought one hand up to cup Lukas’ cheek. “I think I deserve a kiss right now.”
Lukas grinned and complied, placing both hands behind Bastian’s neck and pulling his face down. Without hesitation Lukas plunged his tongue into Bastian’s mouth, kissing him with such force and emotion and meaning that Bastian didn’t need to hear how grateful Lukas was for this; he could feel it. When they parted from the kiss for a moment Lukas pulled Bastian’s head down until their cheeks were pressed together and his mouth was near Bastian’s ear. “I love you.”
Bastian grinned when Lukas spoke, kissing his cheek before tilting his head to the side to look Lukas in the eyes, grinning wider when he saw how happy his partner looked. “You damn well better.” They both laughed at that and within seconds they were kissing again, feeling ridiculously content with life at the moment. All the stress and worries and negativity of the day prior had been completely washed away, and all that mattered right now was this moment, locked lips and softly duelling tongues expressing their feelings for one another. This was contentment, this was bliss, and they were both completely lost in it.
if you hear about a murder happening at the allianz tomorrow morning that would be me shoving schweini over the railing because he will not stop complaining and its really annoying
Lukas finished typing the text message and sent it off, grinning to himself as he slipped the phone back in his pocket. He glanced at Bastian, grinning when he saw the questioning stare being directed at him.
“What are you grinning about?” The Bavarian didn’t sound any happier than he looked, and he looked pretty miserable and grumpy right about now.
Lukas shrugged and turned slightly in his seat, facing Bastian and putting his arm on the back of the chair. “Nothing.”
Bastian frowned; having a feeling that Lukas was lying to him. “Whatever. You should make yourself useful and go buy me a beer.”
Lukas laughed at the demand. “Yeah, totally not happening. Maybe if you asked me a little bit nicer, I’d consider it.” Lukas winked at him and nudged his shoulder with his hand.
Bastian shook his head. “I’d go get it myself, but it is kind of hard to walk, remember?” He looked out at the field, watching as the reserves were warming up. He was grumpy because Bayern were currently losing the match by a score of 0-1 to Barcelona. He should be playing right now, but of course due to his injury that wasn’t happening.
“Hey, we didn’t have to come, you know. We could have stayed home where it would have been easier for you to get up and get your own beer. But no, you had to be here, so you have no one to blame but yourself.” While Lukas was a little concerned for Bayern as well, he knew there was still a whole second half in which to come back. He wasn’t giving up yet.
“I hate staying home and watching on TV, you know that.” Bastian crossed his arms as he watched the guys dribbling. He’d give anything to be out there right now. Watching the first half had been painful. While they had started out strong, Mark had appeared to have suffered some minor aggravation that was keeping him from playing his full game and it was showing. There was a distinct problem in the midfield and he sorely wanted to be in there helping out. But instead he was stuck here, watching from the stands.
Lukas rolled his eyes and shook his head, feeling just a little annoyed. Since Barcelona had scored in the fourteenth minute, Bastian had been doing nothing but complaining about the game and bemoaning the fact that he was stuck watching it from the stands. Lukas felt like slapping him.
“They seriously need to pick things up, I hope Hitzfeld addresses the Mark situation, because if he can’t play fully then-”
“I know, he should be pulled and replaced. You’ve only said it two dozen times in the past twenty minutes.”
“Well fuck, I’m sorry if I’m a little concerned about the game.”
“And there’s nothing wrong with that, but really, calm down. Otherwise I might have to throw you over the railing. Or leave you here to the mercy of the screaming girls.” Lukas grinned and looked at him, nudging his shoulder again, hoping for a grin or a smile.
Bastian was silent for a moment, before looking back at Lukas. “Sorry. You know I just hate it when we lose.” He looked back out at the field before speaking again. “You wouldn’t really leave me here, would you?”
Lukas was silent for a moment, before laying his hand on the back of Bastian’s neck and squeezing it. “Maybe. We’ll see how the second half goes.” He winked at Bastian before laughing. Bastian frowned, but it soon changed to a smile when Lukas didn’t pull his hand away.
remember how i said there would be a murder? make it a murder-suicide because he is annoying me so much right now i think death is the only option for escape
Lukas was tempted to simply excuse himself for the bathroom and then leave. Bastian’s complaints and comments were really getting on his nerves. Not only had he taken to criticizing every little thing the squad was doing, but he was also calling fouls on the Barcelona side where they didn’t exist. Lukas was tempted to cart him over to the fan block where his comments would fit in better. He just wanted to watch the game without bitter remarks every five seconds.
“The next time I watch a game with you, remind me to bring earplugs.” Lukas nudged him in the shoulder, grinning only because it was better than glaring. There was always the off chance he might be able to prod Bastian into better spirits after all.
Bastian ignored the comment, watching the field and yelling obscenities at the official when a foul was called against Lucio. Lukas glanced around them, making sure there were no children present. The last thing he wanted was some overprotective parent cursing Bastian for fouling their children’s ears. Luckily though there were no children in the VIP box today. He also hoped there was no one who would find it amusing to sell a story to the paper about an overly-aggressive and overly-zealous Bayern supporter by the name of Bastian Schweinsteiger, who was cursing his whole team throughout the game. Lukas had a feeling that was something management would not appreciate.
It wasn’t until the sixty-second minute that things managed to turn around. A corner was sent into the middle of the box and a deflected van Buyten header was delivered beautifully to a waiting Andreas Ottl, who easily dumped it into the back of the net. Bastian was so excited for the goal that he jumped out of his seat and bounced twice on his feet before feeling the surge of pain in his leg. Hissing his discomfort he sat back down, grabbing his thigh.
Lukas (who was also excited about the goal) could do nothing but laugh at him for being overly excited. Once the pain settled back down Bastian’s spirits appeared to be lifted tremendously (easily noticeable by the smile on his face in place of a frown), which made Lukas happy. Just as he was about to give in and offer to go and buy Bastian a beer, the unthinkable happened and less than two minutes after the equalizing goal, Lionel Messi managed to break away and score a second, boosting the Spanish side back into the lead. All smiles in the VIP box were gone, replaced by the frowns that were present minutes ago. Now they needed two more goals in order to advance. In all honesty, given the way they were playing, Lukas didn’t think that was possible.
There were only twelve minutes left in the game now, and Barcelona looked to be firmly back in the lead. In the span of four minutes the Spanish side had registered another five shots on the goal and it was only due to Oliver Kahn’s stunning performance that they weren’t down by more. As the keeper grabbed the fifth shot out of the air he roared at his teammates to get down the field, and he kicked the ball well into the Barcelona half, angry at their display today. He hadn’t found himself this angry in a while on the field, and he was half-tempted to run down into the other half himself and take matters into his own hands.
Back up in the stands Bastian had gone back to critiquing the team, complaining about Willy’s foul from a second ago, and the subsequent yellow card the French international had received for complaining about it. Lukas thought it was a really good thing that Bastian didn’t have a beer, otherwise he feared the explosive Bavarian may very well have thrown it down onto the field. Lukas couldn’t recall ever seeing him this pissed off before. It was slightly disturbing.
As time went on and they crept closer to the end of the game Bastian got considerably more agitated and Lukas simply stopped talking to him. It was tense, of course, but it just wasn’t comfortable right now. He watched the game with hopeful eyes, picking up missed passing opportunities. And when Brazzo had a clear chance on goal and missed it by inches, Bastian was livid.
The game eventually ended with the same 1-2 score line, and Bayern were knocked out of the competition while Barcelona advanced. Lukas felt bad for his team, having wanted nothing more for them but to carry on. They were Germany’s best hope for international prizes after all, but this year did not appear to be conducive to getting their hands on any. The mood in the stadium was heavy and the Bayern players did not linger long on the field once the whistle was blown. Many of the fans had already started piling out of the stadium, unwilling to stick around and share in their anguish with the crowd. Normally after games they would have wandered down to the dressing room to chat with their teammates, but neither Bastian nor Lukas much felt like it at the moment. Bastian was too angry and bitter over the loss, and Lukas was simply too worried about Bastian’s temperament. Instead they made their way quietly to Lukas’ car, opting to stay out of the way of as many fans as possible.
The drive home from the stadium was quiet, and Lukas felt uneasy. Of course it hurt that they’d lost, but at the same time there was nothing he could do about it. He’d come to accept that by now, and sitting around moping about their exit from the Champion’s League would do no one any good. Bastian, however, was not seeing that logic. Lukas hoped he’d perk up when they got home. But when they finally did arrive and he helped his still injured partner inside, Bastian’s mood only seemed to worsen. And when Lukas tried to distract him in what he thought would be the surest way (by kissing him and forcing his still nervous hand to venture down there for a spell) Bastian wasn’t interested.
“Don’t you care that we just lost the game? That we’re out of the Champion’s League?” Bastian was moodily slumped back into the armchair he’d chosen to occupy instead of his half of the couch, looking up at Lukas, who was standing in front of him.
“Of course I do, you know that.” He was trying to remind himself that Bastian was simply grumpy after watching his team waste their chance to progress. He didn’t take loss very well on a good day, and today was made worse by the fact that he’d been injured just days prior and couldn’t do anything to help.
“I guess the fact that we lost out to Barcelona softens it for you though, doesn’t it?” Bastian wasn’t intending the comment to be bitter, but Lukas couldn’t help but take it that way.
“Are you trying to say that I’m not totally behind Bayern?” He crossed his arms, standing still and staring down at Bastian. He really ought to walk away though; he knew that, this was getting a little too out of hand. But he couldn’t.
Bastian just shook his head, not entirely sure what he was trying to say. He was in a rotten mood and he knew he shouldn’t be taking it out on Lukas. He was trying, but it was hard. And maybe the fact that they’d lost to Barcelona was impacting him a bit more because he hated the team so much. It was stupid; he knew that. But it still didn’t change things.
“In case you’ve forgotten, you’re not the only one who’s injured and can’t play. I’ve been dealing with this for weeks, how do you think I feel? You’ll be back next week; I probably still have months.”
Bastian shook his head. “It’s different, though.”
Lukas looked at him, confused by the comment. “Oh really?”
Bastian was still too sore over the loss (and sore from his injury, which certainly wasn’t doing his frame of mind any good) to really consider what he was saying. “No offence or anything, but before you got injured you weren’t exactly having the greatest run of luck with the club. You weren’t even starting every week; Roy and Pizza have been doing a good job without you. Our problem is in the midfield, and if I’d been playing I could have made a difference.”
The words hit Lukas like a boot to the stomach. For a few seconds he couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, couldn’t even breathe. How could Bastian have said that? Reputation as a sore loser be damned, that comment was cruel and Lukas had no idea how to react. When Bastian didn’t say anything after it, didn’t apologize immediately and beg forgiveness, Lukas felt even more betrayed. But instead of saying anything he simply turned and walked away, out of the living room and down the hall, shutting the door behind him when he entered his bedroom, sliding down to the floor and sitting against the door.
It was one thing to deal with that knowledge on your own, or to have critics and strangers and outsiders say it. But when someone close to you, someone who was supposed to understand everything about you, when someone that important said something of that magnitude, it hurt ten times more. And of course now that things between them had changed, now that they had this new intimacy between them, it magnified the intensity of the pain. Bastian was supposed to be the person who was going to comfort him if anyone else ever said anything of that nature. So what was he supposed to do when Bastian was the one making the comment?
While Lukas was diving into emotional turmoil behind his bedroom door, Bastian was still sitting in the living room, feeling like more of an asshole with every second that dragged by. How could he have said that? He hadn’t been thinking when he’d spoken. His head had been filled with self-pity and anger and he’d been too selfish to think about anyone else. He hadn’t even realized the full impact of the words until he’d seen Lukas turn and walk away. Only then did he stop to think about what he’d actually said. When the words came back to him he’d bit his lip, at a loss for what to do. Nothing he could say or do would take the words back or lessen their impact. He’d hurt Lukas with them, and that was all that mattered. Should he go and apologize? Would Lukas even listen to him? He wouldn’t blame him if Lukas refused to speak to him for the rest of the night. He wouldn’t really want to speak to himself either right now.
But he had to try. He got up from the chair, grimacing a bit from his leg. He limped his way to the hall, pausing when he saw the closed door ahead. But he still walked down the hall, stopping in front of it. He was going to knock until he heard Lukas’ voice. Polish. Bastian winced when he realized he’d probably called Tina. So he gingerly manoeuvred himself down until he was sitting on the floor. He felt odd, as though he was listening in on a private conversation. But it was one he couldn’t understand.
Lukas hadn’t been sure what he was going to say when he’d dialled the phone number. All he knew was that he wanted to talk to someone, and as usual, his fingers wound up dialling his sister’s number. She picked up and greeted him with a sorrowful few words about Bayern’s loss. He didn’t care to hear them right now.
“Tina, has Steffan ever said anything to you that really hurt you?”
There was a second of silence before she responded, and Lukas could envision her eyes narrowing and lip curling in a snarl. “Did Bastian say something to you?”
“That’s not important, Tina.”
“The fuck it isn’t! If that asshole hurt you enough that you felt the need to call me, I’ll fly down there and kill him myself.”
Lukas couldn’t help but grin just a little. No matter how old he got, she was still intent on protecting him. “Tina, calm down. This is between me and him; I don’t want you to get involved.” He had a feeling if he’d let her, Tina would demand to speak with Bastian and she’d spend an hour blasting his ear off without even knowing what it was he’d done in the first place.
“I want to know what he said.”
“Tina, if you don’t stop threatening him and answer my question, I’m hanging up.” He knew that was the only way to get her to calm down and focus on what he wanted her to focus on.
There were a few seconds of silence as he heard her breathe deeply. “Fine. In answer to your question, yes, Steffan and I have had a few moments of rather heated speech towards one another.”
“How do you deal with that? I mean, when you know he didn’t mean it, when you know he’s just taking his frustration out on you, what do you do?” Lukas sincerely wanted to know. As hurt and betrayed as he felt, it hadn’t really been Bastian speaking. Or rather, it hadn’t been his Bastian speaking. He didn’t want to hold this over them for long. But on the other hand, how could he possibly forgive what had been said?
“Well, sometimes you’re just mad about it for a few days. There have been times when I haven’t spoken to Steffan for a few days at a time. Eventually your anger about it just goes away, and you accept that some things just aren’t worth carrying around.”
That didn’t really help Lukas, though. He didn’t want to be mad for a few days. “I don’t know, Tina. You know me; I don’t stay mad at people. But I can’t just let him off the hook for this.” He knew the comment would only spark her interest further, but he couldn’t get around it at the moment.
Another deep breath from Tina was heard before she spoke. “I’m really trying my hardest not to badger it out of you, I just want you to appreciate that.”
“I do.”
“Right, well, I don’t know what to tell you. Would it make you feel any better if you yelled at him and kicked him out of your apartment?”
“No.”
“And would it make you feel any better if you made him sleep on the couch? Well, provided you guys are sleeping together. Are you sleeping together?”
Lukas shook his head in bemusement at the question. “No, and yes.”
“Right, wow. Um, well then, what do you want from him? If you’re not going to be mad at him and give him the cold shoulder, what else can you do?”
Now it was Lukas’ turn to be silent, pondering her question. What would make him feel better? He wasn’t sure if anything could make him feel better right now. Maybe it was simply the reality of the comment that was hurting the most. “I don’t know, Tina. I guess I’m not really mad at him. Just unhappy with my situation.”
Tina was silent now too. “How’s your training going?”
“Okay. Actually I think it’s harder than it was before, to be honest. Being there every day but not being able to actually train for the game, not being able to even kick the ball around… It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. It was fine at first, just being able to do anything at all anymore. But now everything is starting to sink in a bit more, and I just want to be back. I want to play again. I want to matter again.” He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to keep from rambling continually about this. The thought hadn’t been in his mind too much over the past few days, but it had been there. He missed playing, and he desperately wanted to be able to prove himself again. And given the comment Bastian had just made, Lukas was feeling a little nervous that he wasn’t the only one doubting the effect his absence was having on the team.
“Been keeping that to yourself for a while, Luka?” Tina knew him well enough to pick up on the changes in his tone of voice when he was admitting something hard. She longed to be there right now, to be able to hug him and tell him that everything would be okay. But she couldn’t and the fact that something had now come between him and Bastian only made her feel more anxious to be with him.
“Yeah. I think I have.” He paused for a moment, coming to a decision. “Well, I think I’ll go, then. Thanks for listening, Tina.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie. You know you can call me whenever you need me.” She hesitated a second before adding in a closing sentiment. “And if he’s ever an ass to you again, I really will come down and hurt him. Tell him that.”
Lukas grinned at the threat. “I’ll pass it on.”
“Great. Well then, back to my other baby, I guess. I love you, kid.”
“I love you too, you overprotective old hag.” He hung up just as he heard her start to respond, grinning and laughing a bit. He laid his phone on the floor, not bothering to get up and put it back on the charger. He remained sitting for a minute, thinking everything through. As badly as the comment from Bastian had hurt him, he knew he didn’t have a choice except to get over it. It was in his nature to let things go, and maybe if he did that, Bastian’s mood would lighten and they’d be able to salvage their night. It might not be easy, but it was necessary. He just had to trust Bastian in that he hadn’t meant to hurt him.
He stood up, deciding to go out and get this over with as soon as possible. Sitting in his room and stewing over it would do him more harm than good. He opened his door and nearly tripped over Bastian. He stood still for a second, staring down at him. “What are you doing?”
Bastian stared up at him, surprised. While he’d been listening to Lukas speak to his sister in that foreign language he didn’t understand, he’d gotten lost in his own head, worrying about what he was telling her, about what he was thinking. He was afraid right now that Lukas wouldn’t speak to him. He wouldn’t sleep tonight if he knew Lukas was angry.
So now as he looked up at Lukas, who was standing over him, perplexed, he said the only thing he could think of. “I’m sorry.” He knew it wasn’t enough; it could never make up for what he’d said earlier. But he had to say something.
Lukas nodded, not saying anything. He simply stood there, staring down at him.
Bastian was getting nervous all over again. Should he say something? Wait for Lukas to speak? He could feel his stomach churning, his nerves doing a number on his insides. What was he going to say to make it up to him? Would Lukas even let him try?
Just as Bastian was about to speak, Lukas did instead. “It’s okay. I forgive you for what you said.” Surprisingly the moment he said it, he felt a lot better.
But Bastian wasn’t so easily placated. “No, it’s really not okay. I don’t know what happened; I don’t know why I said that. But I’m sorry.”
“You said it because you were frustrated. I was an easy target-”
“But you shouldn’t be a target, though. You should never be a target, not for me.” Bastian reached out, laid his hand on Lukas’ leg, wishing he’d sit down. This felt too strange, having this conversation with Lukas standing and looking down at him.
Lukas nodded, not really wanting to continue the conversation. “I know, and I’m not excusing what you did. I’m just saying that I understand, and I don’t want this to hang over us.”
“It won’t, if you don’t want it to. You should be pissed at me, but if you’re willing to just let it go, then I’m really lucky.” He paused and squeezed Lukas’ leg. “Would you please sit down?”
Lukas hadn’t even really realized the uncomfortable position Bastian was in sitting on the floor. He stared down at him for a moment, a faint smile on his lips. “I’m quite happy standing, actually.”
Bastian frowned. “Poldi, stop being an ass and sit down, please. I’m tired of looking up your nose.” He grinned after his comment, deciding that if Lukas wanted to move past this quickly, then he would do the same.
Lukas grinned at the comment before giving in and sitting down. He sat against the wall, directly next to Bastian. “So, what should we do now?” As long as they left the conversation behind, Lukas would be happy.
A mischievous grin crossed Bastian’s lips as he leaned a little closer to Lukas. “Well I think I’m ready for that distraction now.” He stared Lukas in the eyes as he reached for his hand, pulling it toward him and placing it between his legs. His other hand shot up to grab Lukas behind the neck, pulling his head closer. Just as he was about to kiss him, Lukas pulled away.
“I’m not really in the mood anymore.” He looked away for a second, staring at the wall before looking back at Bastian. He was trying to look as serious as possible.
Bastian saw through his façade. “Oh please, don’t try pulling that with me.” He grabbed Lukas’ neck again and pulled his head closer, finally pressing their lips together. Lukas didn’t struggle a second time. He kissed back energetically, happy now that Bastian was in a better mood.
Bastian was quite impressed when Lukas was so quick to jump into the kiss given what had just happened. He was truly amazed sometimes at how quickly Lukas let go of problems. He himself had a bad habit of keeping things bottled up and holding grudges, but seeing how letting go of things shifted Lukas’ mood so easily made him wonder if he ought to alter his own way of doing things. After a moment spent groping and kissing each other, Bastian pulled back a bit, looking at Lukas and grinning.
“Hey I just wanted to say thanks, for finally getting over your issues and really getting into this. I never said anything the other day, and I really should have.” Even though he knew he’d probably end up embarrassing Lukas with the comment, Bastian wanted to make it anyway.
As expected once he heard the comment Lukas shook his head at it, and Bastian could see his cheeks flush a little. “Shut up.” Lukas playfully nudged him, turning his head to look at the wall.
Bastian grinned. “No really, I appreciate that you actually tried and kept this going. I know you were pretty uncomfortable with everything at first, and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it every time you do something. This hasn’t been as easy for you as it was for me.” He slid one arm behind Lukas, leaning his body against him.
Lukas couldn’t help but smile as Bastian went on. As corny as it sounded, he did have a point. When Bastian finished Lukas looked at him, kissing him suddenly. “Thanks.” He didn’t really need to say anything more than that.
Bastian kissed him back. “Eloquent as always.” He pinched Lukas in the side, grinning mischievously.
Lukas frowned and pushed his hand away. “Stop making fun of me.” He tried to keep the frown up but eventually he started smiling again, powerless to fight it.
Bastian grinned and pulled him closer, kissing his neck. “Who said I was making fun of you? Sometimes the shortest answers are the best worded ones.”
Lukas rolled his eyes at the comment before laughing. “Listen to you, getting all sappy.”
Bastian laughed. “I’m not being sappy, you dick. I really meant that.” He kissed his neck again, probing the skin lightly with his tongue.
“Well, stop sucking up then. I already said that I forgive you.” Lukas grinned as Bastian continued to kiss and lick his neck.
“If I were sucking up to you, I think I’d be doing it to another part of your body.” Bastian whispered the comment into Lukas’ ear, his tongue licking the earlobe.
Lukas practically shivered at the comment, as the words had their intended reaction. “Oh really? And what part would that be?” He knew exactly what Bastian meant, but he decided to play along.
Bastian continued to play with Lukas’ ear as one hand crept forward over his leg, his fingers stretching out to lightly touch him in that mentioned spot. “I think you know.” His fingers squeezed and Bastian could feel that Lukas was definitely getting hard.
“And what exactly would you be doing with it?” Lukas was getting turned on by this, quite easily too. He thought that he ought to be slightly unnerved by the way Bastian could work him so easily, but then he decided that he quite enjoyed it.
Bastian grinned and nibbled on Lukas’ earlobe for a moment before answering. “What do you want me to do with it?” He wasn’t sure if Lukas would actually have the nerve to ask for anything, but he thought he’d give him a chance to try anyway. It would be extremely hot if he could manage to get Lukas to be a little demanding about these things, the way Daniela had been. But given Lukas’ selfless personality, the fact that he never asked anyone for anything might make that a little harder to accomplish. Bastian still wanted to try.
Lukas didn’t answer for a moment, debating what to say. Was Bastian honestly asking him what he wanted? Or was he just playing around? Because right at this moment Lukas couldn’t help but think that it would probably feel pretty damn good to get what Bastian was subtly offering. But was he really intending to follow through with it? Lukas still had trouble picturing it, because doing this with hands was so much different than the mouth.
Regardless he just couldn’t bring himself to actually say it. “Whatever you want to do with it.” He’d be better off letting Bastian decide.
Bastian suppressed a sigh. He’d been hoping that Lukas would surprise him and come right out and say it, but he had a feeling it might take Lukas a bit longer to get comfortable with the idea before he could vocalize any demands. And really, he could still offer him at least a bit of control. “Really? Anything at all?”
“Well, maybe not anything, knowing you.” Lukas grinned and closed his eyes, leaning his head back on Bastian’s shoulder.
Bastian laughed and kissed Lukas’ neck. “Smart answer. But let’s say I was planning to use my mouth this time, would you be okay with that?” He hesitated for a moment before kissing him again, wanting to make sure Lukas really would be okay with it. Just because he was getting involved now it didn’t necessarily mean he was suddenly okay with everything.
Lukas hesitated too, really thinking about it. So Bastian was planning on taking it another step further. He was okay with that, right? He could handle that. “Yeah, that’s okay.”
Bastian kissed him once he spoke, his hand squeezing him. “Are you sure?”
Lukas nodded. “I’m sure.”
Bastian smiled and kissed him again. Was he actually ready for this too? It was fine to talk about it and think about it, but was he actually ready to push things further? He hadn’t exactly ever done this before either, so he was, in all honesty, just as lost as Lukas. But he was expected to be the aggressive one, the leader, and he wasn’t intending on being nervous about this. He couldn’t, he had to be confident that it would go well. “Excellent. So, why don’t you lie down?”
Lukas turned his head to look at him. “Right here?”
Bastian grinned. “Why, is that a problem? Your carpet is pretty comfortable.” Bastian really hoped that he could manage to do this and be comfortable. As long as he could keep his leg from hurting, that was the important thing.
Lukas hesitated for a moment, as though he was weighing the options. His wild side won out over his conservative side though and he moved away from the wall, lying down in the middle of the carpeted hallway. He hadn’t exactly pictured this moment to happen here, but then he supposed that really, doing it in the hallway suited them better than doing it on the bed.
Bastian sat still for a second, watching as Lukas got comfortable. This was quite amusing, really, the fact that he was about to give him a blow job on the floor in his hallway. But laughing wasn’t quite in the picture at the moment, so instead he concentrated on getting into position himself. He slid down on the floor, arranging his leg in the most comfortable position possible. He looked at Lukas’ jeans, keeping his eyes focused on the button and zipper he was currently working to undo. This was it. Though he’d pictured this moment numerous times in his head (mostly forcing himself to envision it so he would be able to go through with it when they finally got here) now that he was here, lying between Lukas’ legs, seconds away from putting tongue to dick, he couldn’t help but be extremely nervous about it. No doubt about it, this was going to be odd. The last time he’d jerked Lukas off he’d actually licked a bit of the cum off his fingers before washing his hand in the bathroom. The taste hadn’t exactly been to his liking and he’d suddenly developed a whole new level of respect for women (at least those ones willing to swallow). But now he didn’t have any more time to prepare for this and he was wishing he could make the seconds tick by just a little bit slower.
But then he thought about how nervous Lukas was (probably more nervous than he was, even though Lukas would be on the receiving end) and he knew he couldn’t afford to waste any more time. He unzipped the jeans, peeling them back and sticking his hand under the fabric, gripping Lukas’ now fully-hard erection through his briefs. After a few seconds worth of squeezing he pulled his hand back out and started tugging on the jeans. Lukas held himself up from the floor, allowing Bastian to pull more easily. He didn’t bother taking them off completely, he simply pulled them down far enough so they weren’t in the way. He knew from experience that Lukas wouldn’t really need to move his legs, after all.
Without casting the customary glance up at Lukas (he was simply too nervous at the moment to take his focus off his task) he moved his hands to Lukas’ underwear, gripping him through the fabric. He was racing through memories in his head of previous blowjobs. Hadn’t there been something Dani had done to him that he’d really liked? Clamping her mouth over him before taking his underwear off? He couldn’t help but feel like an idiot for trying it right now, but he had really liked it when she’d done it, so it was worth a try. If he was really going to try this, he might as well try everything he could remember.
So he leaned his head down and pressed his mouth against the already slightly damp fabric of the white briefs, forcing his tongue out to press against the fabric, probing at Lukas through it. Fuck, this was weird! But he did manage to hear Lukas hiss when he made contact, so Bastian was slightly relieved he’d reacted positively. He kept it up for a few seconds before finally moving his mouth away and hurriedly pulling the clinging fabric away, revealing the skin of Lukas’ dick. Without pausing for a second thought, Bastian immediately pressed his mouth to it, forcing himself not to pull away when he thought about what he was doing. This was so much easier to think about and envision. Actually doing it was very odd.
He closed his eyes and took hold of it with one hand, squeezing the base of it tightly as he licked the tip of it. That salty taste was there again and in reality Bastian wanted to make himself slow down, to take all the time he needed to properly get used to this. But he was worried if he did that he might chicken out and stop, and he couldn’t do that to Lukas. He had to go on and do it and act like it was the easiest thing in the world.
He took the shaft of it in his mouth, fully engulfing it, and only then did he force himself to stop. He hoped Lukas wouldn’t notice how nervous he was with this; he hoped he’d just appear to be taking his time. He was so lost in concentration that he didn’t realize what he was actually doing until he heard Lukas let out a hiss that didn’t sound as though it stemmed from pleasure.
“Um, can you not use your teeth? That kind of hurts…”
He pulled away from Lukas, looking up at him in shock. Had he really been grazing it with his teeth? How had he not noticed? That didn’t really matter though, as he sought for an excuse of some sort. “Sorry, I know some guys like it that way, so I thought I’d try-”
“I don’t think they like it the way you were doing it.” Lukas grinned suddenly, reading Bastian’s facial expression perfectly. “You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”
And there it was. Bastian hadn’t wanted it to seem that way, he’d wanted desperately for Lukas to think that he knew exactly what to do. He’d thought it would make him less nervous.
Lukas was still grinning, amused at the situation. “It’s okay, you know. You don’t have to know everything.”
Bastian finally broke out of his surprised trance, scrunching his face up a bit. “Sorry, I just wanted you to think I knew what I was doing, thought you’d be less nervous about it.”
Lukas smiled at the words, reaching down to rest one of his hands on top of Bastian’s. “Honestly, it makes me more comfortable to know that you haven’t had another guy’s dick in your mouth.”
Bastian smiled at Lukas’ words, realizing that he was right. It had been kind of stupid to be faking expertise in this area. “Thanks. So how about I try this again and we forget that bit just happened?” He grinned at Lukas before squeezing him again and leaning forward to kiss his thigh. Lukas just nodded lazily and dropped his head back down to the carpet. He didn’t want to make Bastian nervous by watching him.
Now that the topic of his inexperience in giving blowjobs had been addressed, Bastian felt considerably less nervous about the whole thing. So he started over, bringing his mouth down and slowly pressing his lips to Lukas’ sensitive skin. It wasn’t so bad, and he was certain for the first time now that he could actually do this. When he pressed his lips to it again he opened them slightly, sucking a bit of the skin into his mouth. He allowed himself more time to think, more time to remember. He pictured back to those times when Daniela would do this, trying to remember what she would do (before he’d lose all sense of awareness of course) and tried to replicate it.
He was able to focus more on Lukas now, on his reaction to everything. He even glanced up the length of his partner’s body, seeing Lukas pressing his head back into the carpet, one hand pressing against his forehead. He took that as a good sign. He returned his focus to the task at hand (and mouth) and actually kept his eyes open this time as he sucked and licked. He’d never really focused so much on the appendage before and he had to agree with those times he and Daniela had argued over just how ugly the thing was. He felt a little weird thinking of her and their silly debates while blowing Lukas, but he had a feeling that if she could read his mind right now she’d probably laugh so hard her sides would hurt. Surprisingly the thought actually made this even easier.
And while Bastian was busy reflecting on this, Lukas was getting lost in the blissful waves of pleasure that were starting to rock his mind, lulling it into a state of contentment. He’d closed his eyes long ago and was fully intent on not thinking about it and just letting his body react. Every little lick was perfect, every gentle squeeze was another brush on his subconscious, telling him that this was definitely all perfectly right. He’d never experienced something that had felt as good as this, and he was hoping it wouldn’t stop any time soon. He wasn’t even thinking about the fact that it was Bastian down there doing it anymore; all he could think of was the fact that this felt absolutely amazing.
The more time he spent doing this, the easier it was for Bastian. Maybe it was just the fact that he’d admitted to Lukas that he didn’t really know what he was doing, yet whatever he was doing was obviously wreaking havoc (in a good way) over his partner’s senses. Every little noise Lukas was making was pushing Bastian on, letting him enjoy this too. It was definitely a different reaction Lukas was giving right now, one that Bastian couldn’t really explain, but that he could feel. Lukas was giving in on a different level and Bastian loved it. He finally understood what Daniela had meant that time she’d tried to explain to him how giving one could be just as rewarding as receiving one if you simply paid attention to the way your partner was reacting to it. He was feeling that right now, with the way Lukas was responding to every flick of the tongue.
He took him fully in his mouth again (or as fully as he could manage) and experimented with different actions, sucking and swirling his tongue and even lightly (very lightly) grazing it with his teeth. Lukas hissed again, but this time it wasn’t in pain.
By this point Lukas was completely gone in his head, unable to recall anything about the moment; he was far too focused on the pleasurable mouth around his cock to think of anything else. He’d also by now threaded his fingers into Bastian’s hair, gripping his partner’s scalp with no regard as to how it felt. Luckily for him Bastian quite enjoyed the fingers. He was starting to feel as though he was coming closer to the edge, about to hit peak at any second. Instead of considerately alerting Bastian to this fact (mostly because he’d kind of forgotten that was a person down there, mostly because he was completely out of his mind) he pressed Bastian’s head closer to him, keeping him firmly in place.
When Bastian felt Lukas press down on his head he had an idea that his partner was about to come, and he also knew he really didn’t have any other choice but to take it in the mouth. He didn’t want to pull away and risk lessening the impact on Lukas. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to having it fill his mouth, but he was determined to at least try it once. Hopefully Lukas would be too out of it to notice if he had to spit it out.
Judging by the sudden rigidness of Lukas’ body (along with his suddenly sped up panting) Bastian had exactly three seconds to prepare himself before he felt the first shot hit the back of his throat. He barely kept himself from gagging on it, not really as prepared as he’d thought he was. He didn’t even realize until after Lukas went limp back into the floor (and in his mouth) that it was finally over and that he only had seconds to decide what to do with the excess of fluid in his mouth.
It wasn’t until he remembered that his leg was hurt (miraculously he’d managed to get through this without twisting it into a painful position) that he realized that unless he wanted to spend ages with it in his mouth, he was going to have to suck it up and swallow. It wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever tasted, but it wasn’t exactly pleasurable either and the texture of it kind of coated his throat and made him grimace. He’d squeezed his eyes shut too, as though that would help in some way. It of course didn’t. And when he opened them again he found a very pleased looking Lukas staring down at him with a dumb smile on his face.
“Did you actually swallow that?” Bastian wasn’t sure if it was the wondrous after effects of the blow job, or if Lukas simply found it too funny, but his speech was so mumbled Bastian could barely make out what he’d said.
Bastian made a show of glaring at Lukas before responding. “Sadly, yes.”
Lukas responded by laughing. “You loser.” He let his head drop back against the carpet, still laughing.
Bastian was annoyed for a few seconds before he found himself starting to laugh too. He lowered his head, kissing the inside of Lukas’ thigh. He’d forgive him for the comment. “Yeah, but I’m only a loser because I love you.” He grinned and waited for Lukas’ response.
The laughter stopped for exactly two seconds while Lukas barely managed to lift his head up and look down at him. “Good enough reason.” He dropped his head back down and sighed contentedly. Bastian smiled while he watched him, feeling happy with the reaction. Lukas had obviously enjoyed it (mumbling and giddy laughter were two signs that Lukas was extremely happy) and that had really been the intent.
Once Lukas had a few moments to settle down slightly from his euphoric haze he spoke again, though he didn’t bother looking down at Bastian this time. “That was great, by the way. Thank you.”
Bastian grinned at the comments, rubbing one hand over Lukas’ left leg. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Without disturbing Lukas’ post-orgasm moment, Bastian pulled his underwear back up, tucking Lukas back into them. He then very carefully pushed himself up the hallway, keeping his leg in a comfortable position (as comfortable as possible while moving) and stopping when he reached level with Lukas’s chest. He propped himself on his elbows, staring down at Lukas. Lukas still had that silly grin on his face and his eyes were closed and Bastian well knew that feeling. He was happy he’d managed to bring Lukas there on his very first try.
Lukas could sense Bastian beside him and he reached out with his hands, pulling his partner down on top of him. He opened his eyes and looked into Bastian’s. “Should I kiss you or make you brush your teeth first?”
Bastian laughed and brought one hand up to cup Lukas’ cheek. “I think I deserve a kiss right now.”
Lukas grinned and complied, placing both hands behind Bastian’s neck and pulling his face down. Without hesitation Lukas plunged his tongue into Bastian’s mouth, kissing him with such force and emotion and meaning that Bastian didn’t need to hear how grateful Lukas was for this; he could feel it. When they parted from the kiss for a moment Lukas pulled Bastian’s head down until their cheeks were pressed together and his mouth was near Bastian’s ear. “I love you.”
Bastian grinned when Lukas spoke, kissing his cheek before tilting his head to the side to look Lukas in the eyes, grinning wider when he saw how happy his partner looked. “You damn well better.” They both laughed at that and within seconds they were kissing again, feeling ridiculously content with life at the moment. All the stress and worries and negativity of the day prior had been completely washed away, and all that mattered right now was this moment, locked lips and softly duelling tongues expressing their feelings for one another. This was contentment, this was bliss, and they were both completely lost in it.