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Chapter 30 - When the body speaks
Early morning found the two young men still in bed, one curled on his side and half clutching his pillow, the other curled around him. Lukas was still completely asleep, deeply so, as was the norm. Unlike Bastian, who usually found himself awake minutes before his alarm was due to ring, Lukas usually slept right until the alarm went off, sometimes even sleeping through it.
Bastian was still asleep as well, though as was the norm with him, he was starting to wake up. His left arm still wrapped around Lukas, his left leg had taken a similar journey during the night, curling over Lukas’ legs so that Bastian was pressed as closely to his best friend as possible. Perhaps it was that close contact during the night, or perhaps it was simply the hormonal instincts of a young man, maybe even a combination of both, but his conscious mind wasn’t the only part of his body in the process of waking up.
In his sleep-induced haze all that mattered to him at the moment was the very warm body in front of him that he was pressed up against. His arm tightening around Lukas, Bastian’s leg slid down, straightening out of its bent position, while his hips pressed forward, rocking his slowly growing erection against Lukas’s back side. He was still too sleep-addled to think about what he was doing; his body was reacting on its own. He kept pressing himself to Lukas, his hips rocking back and forth, while he leaned his head down, his lips pressing to Lukas’ shoulder, kissing him lightly at first. With every new touch to the skin the pressure increased until he was nearly crushing his lips into the skin of Lukas’ neck.
That was when he finally woke up, opening his eyes and coming to his senses in a bit of a panic. When his eyes had finally popped open and he’d seen Lukas underneath him, still asleep, he’d immediately frozen, staring down at him. He was waiting to see if he’d woken him up. Lukas was a notoriously heavy sleeper, for which Bastian was finding himself very grateful for this morning as the seconds ticked by with no movement. This was not the way he wanted to wake Lukas up.
When he was certain that Lukas was indeed still fast asleep, Bastian very slowly and carefully untangled himself from him, sitting up and moving away a little. He was trying desperately to slow his racing heartbeat, to regain control of his breath. Of all the ways he’d pictured waking up this morning, dry humping Lukas from behind had not been on the list.
Right now he was just thankful that he hadn’t woken him. How would he have reacted to that? Had Lukas even given any thought to that aspect of the relationship? Bastian realized suddenly that he hadn’t. He’d been so focused on the emotional aspect of things, on his feelings for Lukas, that he hadn’t given a single thought to the sexual.
When he’d been younger he’d had a few encounters with other guys, nothing serious though, and mostly happening when they were drunk and there were no girls around. He’d received a blow job from another guy once, but that was pretty much as far as he’d ever gone. But this, with Lukas, there would have to be more to it, wouldn’t there? There were a few key elements to successful relationships and a healthy sex life was one of them.
Once the thought crossed his mind he got out of the bed, standing at the side, his hands over his face, fingers pressing into his eyes. How could he not have thought about this? How could this have slipped his mind? Rubbing his hands over his face he dropped them away, looking at the curtain covered window in front of him. It wasn’t that he couldn’t picture himself doing anything that serious with another guy, because in all honesty, he had thought about it before. One time he and Daniela had argued about having a threesome. He’d wanted another girl, she’d wanted another guy. It hadn’t been a serious argument of course and they’d never actually ended up deciding one way or another, but afterwards he’d started thinking about what it would be like with another guy. First the thoughts had been primarily based on what it would be like fucking Daniela at the same time as another guy, but then he’d started pondering what it would be like without her there.
He’d always been very open-minded, so it hadn’t come as a surprise that he’d spent a while thinking about it. In the end he’d decided to continue to keep an open mind to it, wondering if the opportunity would ever come up. It hadn’t though, at least not until now.
But now he was going to have to give it some serious thought once again. The only problem was whether or not Lukas had considered it. Bastian glanced over his shoulder at him, his eyes falling on Lukas’ half covered body. If he was going to be honest with himself, he had actually thought a few times about who he would choose as a third, if he and Daniela ever did have a threesome and it was with another guy. Lukas had crossed his mind, despite his best friend’s lack of experience. He’d amused himself with the thought that he and Daniela could have given Lukas his first real experience together. He’d never thought Lukas would have agreed though, so he’d never brought it up, not even with her.
And now that he was thinking about her he couldn’t help but picture what would be happening right now had it been her he’d woken up to in his state this morning. They’d probably be fucking right now; she’d still be half-asleep, not that it would take long for her to wake fully. Picturing it in his head wasn’t helping him though, as he felt himself grow even harder at the thought. He reached down into his pants to rearrange himself so he wasn’t bulging out at the front so obviously; he knew he was going to have trouble getting rid of this morning erection by mere willpower alone.
He walked around the bed, pausing by Lukas, looking down at him. How could he even bring up the topic with him? He knew he had to, at some point, but he really had no idea what to say. He leaned down to gently pull the blankets back up around Lukas’ shoulders, pressing a light kiss to his forehead before slipping out of the bedroom and closing the door behind him. He headed down the hallway to the other bathroom, not wanting to use Lukas’ and risk waking him up.
He stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind him, turning on the shower, waiting for the water to warm up enough before discarding his pants and stepping in. He stood under the water for a moment, letting it hit his back. He then turned to the side, his left arm lifting until it was in perfect height with his head and he pressed it to the wall, leaning his head against it. He closed his eyes and let his right hand drop down in between his legs, his fingers closing around his swollen dick. Slowly he started to pump his hand up and down, his fingers squeezing with exactly the right amount of pressure, his breathing speeding up just a little.
Behind closed eyes he was picturing that thought about scene from before, of him and Daniela and Lukas, the three of them together in bed. Lukas knew what he was doing this time. They were all three of them on their knees, Bastian fucking her from the front, Lukas behind. He and Lukas leaned in to each other over her shoulder, their lips meeting, mouths opening and tongues clashing. They’d desperately try to push into one another’s mouth, the naturally competitive streak between them not even stopping for sex. She would be in between them, bucking herself back and forth in perfect time with their rhythm, impaling herself on them, her hands gripping his skin, her fingernails leaving imprints on his back, his arms - any part of his body she could grab onto.
He and Lukas would grapple over her breasts, squeezing them, pinching and pulling on her nipples, all while still struggling for dominance of their kiss. They’d change the position a little, he would lie on his back and she and Lukas would stay on their knees. They’d lean over him and Lukas would set their pace, his pushes into her sending her pushing onto Bastian and she’d lower herself, her lips on his now and she wouldn’t fight for dominance of their kiss, she’d let him into her mouth without a struggle, but she’d pull away and continue to kiss the rest of his face, his ears and that spot just underneath them that killed him, his neck, and the whole time Lukas would be watching them, enjoying the scene and waiting for his turn to do the same with her and let him watch.
It would come; once she kissed her way down his neck to his chest Lukas would grab her by the hair and pull her up and away from Bastian; he’d pull her back until she was against him, craning her neck back so he could lean over her and kiss her and she’d let him in her mouth immediately too; his hands would be all over her and Bastian would just lie there, watching as the two people he loved more than anyone else bonded and connected and put on a show for only him to see. They’d all be nearing orgasm at the same time, of course, because there was no way they’d be this in sync with each other only to mess it up at the end. Lukas would move his mouth from her lips to her shoulder, letting her straighten her neck again, his hands still roaming over her soft skin; he’d lightly bite her shoulder, the grazing of the teeth something she loved and Lukas would know that because Bastian had told him before they’d started, he’d shared all of their secrets with him because he was a part of them now, they were together, all three of them. He’d keep biting her as he bucked harder into her, sending her forward, riding hard on Bastian’s dick, and Bastian’s eyes would be on her chest, her breasts bouncing with each thrust from Lukas, and he’d reach out and grab them, squeezing them hard, maybe a little bit harder than she liked but right now she wouldn’t care because they were so close. His hands would reach up further and lock behind both of their necks and he’d pull them down so they were right on top of him now and he’d alternate, his lips and tongue meeting hers, then switching to meet with Lukas, always moving back and forth between them, unable to pick one above the other.
They’d all come at the same damn time, together, linked, connected, feeling the moment so intensely and sharing everything so openly. They’d all be panting and moaning and she’d be just a bit louder than they were and her nails would still be digging into his skin, little imprints all over his body, the same way there would be bite marks all over hers. Finally they’d come, one big group shudder, their bodies reacting in the same way, Daniela and Lukas’ knees going so weak they’d collapse on him and even under the combined weight he’d be fine, he’d be damn fine because this was perfect, this moment was fucking perfect and he wouldn’t let anything ruin it.
His fantasy perfectly timed with his own actions Bastian came hard, biting his lip to keep from crying out, his hand still clamped around his now twitching dick, his body wracked with shudders and his own knees going so weak, but he’d somehow stay on his feet, leaning heavily against the wall, the water still falling relentlessly over his back, hitting the floor of the bathtub and washing away all traces of his action. But the water wasn’t going to wash away any of the feelings floating in his head right now and not even the usual euphoria of his orgasm could push them away either, not even for a second. Right now his thoughts were focused solely on exactly what he’d been picturing in his head.
He knew it wouldn’t be possible. He couldn’t share himself with two people. He wanted to; he so badly wanted to at the moment. It had been days since he’d seen Daniela and the guilt was tearing through him right now. He still loved her; he missed her, part of him still longed for the simplicity of what they’d had, for the ease and stability of their relationship. He loved Lukas, but things were going to be hard for them, he knew that. There were so many things they’d have to get through, every aspect of a real relationship was going to be new to them, and everything was going to take work and time. How could he possibly handle all of that if he couldn’t even think of a way to bring it up with him?
He finally sank down to his knees under the water, his hands reaching for the floor of the bathtub, his body feeling suddenly very weak at the moment. He sat back and drew his knees up and laid his arms against them, leaning his head forward and bringing his hands up to both sides of his face, holding it.
He needed to calm down. The sudden onslaught of realization coupled with the reaction of his body had completely drained him of everything. He needed to sit and let himself unwind for a moment. He needed to control his breathing again; he needed to slow his heart rate because it was pounding in his chest. He’d be fine once he calmed down a little.
His hands still pressed against his face he drew in a deep breath, forcing himself to let it back out slowly. He repeated the process a few times until he felt a bit calmer. Finally he peeled his hands away from his face, closing his eyes for a moment before standing back up. He went through with the usual motions, washing his hair and his body, only a few minutes passing before he was done. He shut the water off and grabbed a towel, drying his face off first before moving on to pat dry the rest of his body.
This wasn’t the way he’d wanted to wake up this morning. He should have stayed in bed, waking up just a few minutes before Lukas, using that time to reflect happily on what had transpired between them the day before. He shouldn’t have wound up sitting in the shower, pining for Daniela and feeling nothing but guilt pressing down on his shoulders.
He had to remind himself that it was okay for him to have that lingering sense of confusion. You couldn’t spend years with someone and then forget them in the space of a few days; especially not if the relationship hadn’t ended in anger. And he didn’t want to forget her anyway, he still loved her after all, she was still important to him. Despite the fear and worry over the potential problems his new relationship could face, he did love Lukas. Everything he’d had with Daniela, he wanted to have with Lukas. It was strange, how sometimes he felt like there was no way he could possibly be with anyone other than his best friend, but at other times he wished that he wasn’t trying to be. This could potentially lead to a disaster for both of them and if that happened, Bastian knew it would all be his fault.
But despite that he was willing to try. When he thought about yesterday, about the way Lukas had suddenly kissed him, the way he’d given him that little bit of himself that he’d been holding back thus far, Bastian couldn’t help but feel that this was the route he was meant to take. He and Lukas were meant to be, problematic future and all. He stood at the sink, hands on the porcelain bowl, head hung low. This wasn’t the way his morning had been supposed to start.
Wrapping the towel around his waist he left the bathroom, heading for the bedroom where his things were. Pulling out clean clothes he got dressed, jeans and a t-shirt his choice for the drive in to training this morning. Once he was finished he left the room, heading back down the hall to the other end, to the closed door. He opened it and walked into Lukas’ bedroom, looking down at the bed and seeing that Lukas was actually awake. How long had he been up for?
Lukas was awake, but still in bed. He’d woken up not too long ago, while Bastian had been dressing. He’d wondered where he had gone, coming to the conclusion that he’d probably just gone for a shower. When he saw Bastian’s still wet hair and clothing, Lukas knew his instinct had been correct. He looked up at him and smiled. “Well, good morning to you. I see you don’t waste any time when you get up.”
Bastian smiled back at him, walking over toward the bed. “Sorry, I woke up early; I didn’t want to wake you.” He paused for a moment, looking down at him. He had to think of something to say; he certainly couldn’t tell him the truth about his sudden departure from bed this morning. “I wanted to make you breakfast.”
Lukas looked at him with raised eyebrows, clearly not having expected that comment. “You wanted to make me breakfast? Did you sleep last night? You don’t quite sound like yourself.” Lukas grinned.
Bastian sat down on the edge of the bed, frowning at Lukas. “If this is the kind of response I’m going to get when I try to do something nice for you, then you can forget it. Get up and make your own breakfast.”
Lukas laughed and stretched his arm out, laying his hand on Bastian’s knee. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll go back to sleep and you go cook me something. We’ll pretend we never had this conversation and you can come in and wake me up and surprise me. Does that work?”
Bastian grinned and shook his head. “No, you’re awake now; you can cook your own food.” He took Lukas’ hand, holding it in his own. “Did you sleep well last night?”
Lukas nodded, the smile on his face growing. “Yeah, I did. Did you?”
Bastian smiled too and nodded his head. “I did.” He leaned forward, his lips brushing against Lukas’ forehead. “Why don’t you get up and go have a shower, and I’ll have breakfast ready by the time you’re done?”
Lukas looked at him, curiosity prominent among his expressions. “Alright, I won’t say no to you cooking this morning.” He sat up, his legs stretched out in front of him. “You’re not expecting anything for this, are you?”
Bastian grinned at the question. “Only lunch when I get home.”
Lukas laughed. “Yeah, good luck with that one.”
Bastian moved off the bed so Lukas could stand up. When he did Bastian moved in closer, sliding his hands around Lukas’ waist until they met on his back, linking them together. He looked into the blue eyes before him, a little smile on his lips. “Things are going to work out for us.”
Lukas wasn’t sure whose benefit Bastian had made the comment for, but at the moment it didn’t matter. “Yeah, they will.”
Bastian leaned forward and kissed Lukas on the lips, before pulling away and heading for the bedroom door. “Don’t take too long.”
Lukas watched him leave, a smile settling over his own lips. “Don’t burn anything.” Bastian turned back at the door to look at him, shaking his head, before leaving for the kitchen. With a smile on his face Lukas entered his bathroom, preparing to shower and get ready for the day.
Back in the kitchen Bastian prepared breakfast, though his heart was only half in it. His mind was still a little stuck on earlier thoughts, but he was feeling a little better about them now. Being near Lukas had reminded him why the struggle would be worth it. He’d never been one to back down from a challenge before, so he was determined to try and make this one work. But now that he’d given it some more thought he’d decided that later on today, once training was over, he was going to have to call Daniela. He couldn’t put off talking to her any longer, not given the feelings he’d had minutes ago. She needed to know how things were going, and he missed her. It might be a little strange, probably a little uncomfortable, but it was something that needed to happen.
Soon enough he’d finished with the food and Lukas appeared soon after and they sat down together to eat. Lukas obviously wasn’t having any conflicting emotions this morning, given the happiness that was simply radiating from him. It made Bastian feel just a little touch of guilt. That should be him, too. That had been him yesterday, after all. Feeling complete, feeling whole and comfortable. This morning had put a dent in that happiness; poked a hole in his being. He needed to feel that complete again and he knew it wouldn’t be possible until he spoke with Daniela.
They finished eating and immediately Bastian was up, collecting the dishes and putting them in the sink. Lukas was left sitting on his stool, regarding his best friend with a curiosity-laced gaze. “What is up with you this morning?” It wasn’t that Bastian was exceptionally lazy, but over the past few weeks as Lukas had gotten better, Bastian had slowed down in his attempt to look after everything. But this morning he was acting similar to the way he’d been during the first week, seemingly intent on doing everything himself. Lukas didn’t mind it really, but he was curious about what had sparked it.
Bastian looked back at him over his shoulder and shook his head. “Nothing.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “I just want to make sure you have no distractions this morning, so you can cook me something for lunch. Make it something nice, too. I want to see effort.” He grinned at Lukas before returning to the dishes.
Lukas laughed at his answer, getting up from the stool and walking over to the sink. He slipped his arms around Bastian, hugging him from behind and leaning his head over Bastian’s shoulder. “I already told you, you’re not getting anything special. Maybe I’ll just order some take-out and say I made it. You’ll never know.”
Bastian laughed at the response, a smile spreading over his face. It was a good thing that Lukas was in such a good mood this morning, so quick to joke around. It was helping Bastian in getting over his worry from earlier. Things were going to be fine. Talking to Daniela again would ease his mind over the concern relating to his feelings for her. Now that he’d decided to deal with that tonight, he was feeling better about it. He wasn’t worried about it distracting him too much this morning.
He finished with the dishes and turned around, his own arms slipping around Lukas. Lukas was one of those types of people whose smile affected everyone else around him, drawing you in until you were smiling and looking just as happy as he was. Bastian was feeling that pull right now. He couldn’t worry about things when he was standing in front of a very happy Lukas; all of the distracting thoughts seemed to filter away, pushed back to be dealt with later. Right now he just wanted to spend this last minute before he had to leave as positively as possible. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Lukas’, pulling back after a few seconds. “So, what are your plans for this morning?”
Lukas shrugged, still smiling. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go swimming later or something, I’m not too sure. I should probably call Tina at least; let her know that I didn’t screw things up too horribly after all.”
“Good idea. Knowing her, she’s probably been worried about you since you left.” Bastian smiled at the thought, happy that Lukas had someone he trusted to talk to about this. He wasn’t so sure if he had anyone he trusted that much, or anyone he felt comfortable enough talking to. It might be too weird to talk to Dani about everything involving him and Lukas, though he’d trust her with all the info. But maybe, after some time passed, he might be surprised and find himself spilling everything to her. Only time would tell.
“Yeah, she’s probably driving our grandmother crazy.” He glanced at the clock on the wall before looking back at Bastian. “You should probably get going now so you’re not late.”
Bastian nodded, glancing at the clock himself. “Yeah, you’re right.” He looked back at Lukas. “Well then, you have a good morning. I’ll see you after training.” He leaned forward to kiss him again and this time Lukas was ready for him, their lips meeting as their arms tightened momentarily around one another. Then they separated and moved to the door, where Bastian left and Lukas waved him goodbye before he entered the elevator. Lukas went back into the apartment, closing the door over and heading to one corner of his living room where he kept his computer. He slid into the chair and turned the system on, checking his e-mail. He smiled when he saw a message sitting in the inbox from his sister. He wrote back to her, telling her that things were going well and to call him later when she had a moment.
Almost immediately after he finished sending it there was a knock at his door. He got up and headed over, wondering who was there. A look through the peephole showed Lena and he immediately wondered if she knew. What if she didn’t know anything? Would Dani have spoken to her? If she’d told anyone about this, Lukas figured it would have been Lena. He wasn’t sure if he ought to answer, uncertain about how he’d handle things if she didn’t know. But what if she did and she was upset about it? He would have to face the girls at some point, so he hoped for the best and unlocked the door, opening it up to her.
Lena was standing just outside the door, leaning against the wall. When the door opened and she looked up at him, there was a sly grin curving her lips upward. “Hello, home wrecker.” She straightened and smiled at him. “Thought it was about time that I came over and shoved my nose in your business.”
Lukas smiled just faintly at her comments, still unsure about what she was thinking. It was pretty obvious that she knew what was going on, though. “Hey Lena.”
“Are you going to make me stand in the hallway or can I come in?” He moved aside and let her in after the comment, locking the door behind them. She took her shoes off quickly and they stood there by the door, looking at each other for a moment before she broke the silence. “So, as I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, I know what’s going on.” Her usually playful expression turned a bit more serious. “How are things going, though? Are you doing okay?”
Lukas was a little surprised at her reaction. He wasn’t sure how he had been expecting her to react once she’d found out about things, but it certainly hadn’t been quite so nonchalant. “I’m fine. Things are alright.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Why don’t we go sit down, or something?” She nodded and followed him in to the living room, where he sat on the couch and she sat in the chair directly to the right of the couch. Lukas regarded her curiously for a moment before speaking. “So I guess Dani told you?”
Lena nodded. “Yeah, I got a little worried when she didn’t show up for class that day, so I went over to see her. Then she told me what had happened.”
Lukas was silent for a minute, a distinctly guilty feeling settling around him. “How is she? Is she okay?” Lukas felt even guiltier once he realized that since admitting his feelings to himself, he hadn’t thought once about her.
“She’s alright, doing as well as can be expected, really.” Lena had spent the weekend at Daniela’s, telling Anna that they had an important project to work on, so they’d decided to just spend the entire weekend working. While they did have a project coming up, they had barely spent any time working over the weekend. Instead they’d just tried to do fun things, things to take Daniela’s mind off of what was happening. There had been a few moments when things had been a little rough for her, but overall the weekend had been a good distraction.
Lukas was looking at her now a little apprehensively; worry marring his features a little. “Lena, what does she think about it? Is she upset?” He wanted to ask if she was angry, if she’d ever speak to him again, but the questions just seemed a bit too harsh for him to vocalize at the moment.
Lena smiled when she realized what he really meant to ask. He was worried about Daniela blaming him, maybe even hating him. Since she’d known him, Lena had always witnessed a person in Lukas who tried to keep the peace between himself and anyone else at all times. He wasn’t someone who dealt well with conflict. “She doesn’t hate you, don’t worry. She’s worried about you, in fact; both of you. She still loves you guys.” She watched as a look of relief flashed over his face; it made her smile. “She understands that this just sort of happened, she doesn’t want it to cause any problems between you. She still wants to be there, regardless of what happens.” Maybe this was something she should have left for Daniela herself to explain, but at the moment Lena felt it would be best if Lukas just knew right off the bat how supportive Daniela was willing to be.
Lukas took a moment to digest everything Lena told him, letting the relief settle over him. Daniela wasn’t going to be angry with him. He wasn’t sure how it would be, speaking to her with all of this now having passed. What would it be like, having her around? He wasn’t too sure at the moment, but he felt better knowing that she would be there. He’d really come to think of her as a friend, especially since moving here, and he wasn’t keen on losing her.
With that now out of the way, she started pestering him for information on exactly how things were going between him and Bastian. When she started asking if they were kissing each other yet, Lukas had the distinct feeling that maybe Lena knowing about all of this was going to make his life just a touch more annoying with her prodding for details. But he supposed that he would take supportive and prying over unsupportive and distant any day, so he let her pry for now.
The drive in to training this morning had indeed been better for Bastian. Though he still had a few unsettled feelings, he was overall doing better. He blasted Akon’s newest album on his drive in, his window rolled down since the temperature was quite mild. He just hoped training would go well, his desire to put the game of this past weekend behind him and get back on form mentally.
He pulled in to the parking lot, shutting off his car and getting out, waving to the assembly of fans there on his way inside. He walked into the locker room, looking around this time and not avoiding the eyes of his team mates. Andi, who’d been chatting with Mark about something, made his way over to Bastian after a moment. He sat down next to him, eyes fixed on him. “Well, you seem to be in a better mood today.”
Bastian looked over at him, eyebrow rising in question. “Do I?”
Andi smiled. “Yes you do. I take it you managed to somehow salvage your weekend after Saturday’s abysmal performance?” Andi grinned, feeling that his friend was indeed in good enough spirits to withstand a bit of teasing.
Bastian frowned at him. “Shut up.” He leaned over to take off his shoes.
“Speaking of Saturday, where was Poldi? He have something better to do with his time?” The grin was still on Andi’s face.
Bastian looked up at him, ready for the question today. “He was in Poland, actually. He went to see his grandmother with his sister.”
The expression on Andi’s face became just a touch more devious at the response. “Well then, I guess that explains it. Poor Schweini was off this weekend because he missed his Poldi! How sweet.”
Bastian glared good naturedly at Andi, wondering how the other would feel if he knew just how close to reality his teasing comment actually was. “Shut up, Andi.”
A few of the other guys who’d overheard the comment turned to the pair now, grins on their faces. Mark was the first to speak. “Is he back now? Tell him he’s not allowed to go away during games anymore, we need you able to concentrate.” He winked at Bastian, who fixed his glare on the Dutchman now.
Martin Demichelis walked by, patting Bastian on the head. “Aw, he has attachment issues, just like a little puppy.”
“Hey, maybe we should re-nickname him until Poldi gets back. We could call him Puppy, to remind him to work on those issues and try to sever the bond so he can keep his mind on the game.” Pizarro offered up the suggestion, which the others laughed about.
Bastian was shooting glares all around the room now. “I do not have fucking attachment issues, shut up, all of you!”
“The more defensive you get about it, the more obvious it is.” Andi nudged him with his elbow, laughing when Bastian shoved his arm away. The teasing continued until they were all ready to head out to the training ground. Though it was always a little annoying to be the centre of the teasing on any day, Bastian was a little grateful for it today. In a sense he was able to admit that he’d been off because of Lukas, but he didn’t have to explain what had really gone on. He’d let the guys joke and have fun at his expense as long as it kept him from having to answer anything seriously.
As he had hoped, training was definitely going better today. He was able to concentrate on the actual training, get lost in the drills while they were being run. He was joking around with the guys, making his smart-assed comments, basically resuming his normal way of acting that had been a little lacking lately. It felt good, like this part of his life was going to have a chance to settle down and really get back to normal. Something had always felt just a little off since he’d returned to the team, but now he was feeling more at home on the grounds again. He knew things still wouldn’t feel completely the same again until Lukas was back, but until then he was pretty sure he’d be doing as well as possible.
When training ended he walked back into the building flanked by Andi and Philipp, who were busy chattering away about their Saturday night, telling Bastian about the interesting characters they’d met on their way back from the bar that night. Bastian listened to the story with a grin on his face, happy to hear about it. He missed going out with the guys.
“What are you and Lukas doing tonight? Why don’t the four of us meet up for drinks or something? It’s been a while.” Andi made the suggestion. He quite missed having the always energetic Lukas around during the day at training, and while having Bastian there upped the fun factor, things were always more entertaining when both of them were there together.
Philipp agreed to the suggestion. “Yeah, let’s hang out for a while. We can tell him we’re going to be calling you Puppy from now on so he’ll be prepared for potential grumpiness from you.”
Bastian shook his head, hoping indeed that the stupid nickname wouldn’t take off at all and that it would be forgotten soon. He did want to go out with his friends, but he already had plans for tonight that he wasn’t going to allow himself to break. “That sounds like a plan guys, but tonight doesn’t work. How about tomorrow after we’re done training? He’s allowed to drive again, so we can have some drinks and he’ll chauffeur us.”
Andi and Phillip agreed to the idea, looking forward to having their designated driver back. They cemented their plans while they showered and dressed, getting ready to leave the grounds for the day. They extended an invitation for drinks the following day to Michael Rensing, who happily agreed to the suggestion. The four of them finished getting ready at the same time and headed out to the parking lot together, stopping to sign autographs and interact a bit with the fans. Bastian couldn’t help but smile when he was asked to sign a picture of him and Lukas. He’d always enjoyed it when he encountered fans who seemed to appreciate his friendship with Lukas and who took delight in snapping pictures of them together or getting their autographs on the same picture. Now it gave him a bit of hope that maybe, if things ever did get that far one day that they’d have a base of fans who’d support them no matter what anyone else had to say about it.
When he’d signed enough items and had enough pictures of him taken to feel that he couldn’t be accused of neglecting the fans today, he said goodbye to his friends and fellow team mates, then headed for his car, a smile on his face. The morning had gone better than he’d expected, to be honest, and it had given him a positive feeling for what he was planning later. But now he just wanted to get back, tell Lukas about their plans for tomorrow, and then relax with him for a while before calling Daniela. He had hope that talking with her would go well, that it would let him deal more easily with his feelings. Even if it didn’t, seeing her again would make him feel better, it would lessen the guilt he had. He wanted to spend time with her still, after all. The sooner they started to figure out how things between them would eventually go, the sooner they’d be able to look past this. It was going to be a little strange at first, but he had faith that things would work out for them. Things had to work out for them.
Early morning found the two young men still in bed, one curled on his side and half clutching his pillow, the other curled around him. Lukas was still completely asleep, deeply so, as was the norm. Unlike Bastian, who usually found himself awake minutes before his alarm was due to ring, Lukas usually slept right until the alarm went off, sometimes even sleeping through it.
Bastian was still asleep as well, though as was the norm with him, he was starting to wake up. His left arm still wrapped around Lukas, his left leg had taken a similar journey during the night, curling over Lukas’ legs so that Bastian was pressed as closely to his best friend as possible. Perhaps it was that close contact during the night, or perhaps it was simply the hormonal instincts of a young man, maybe even a combination of both, but his conscious mind wasn’t the only part of his body in the process of waking up.
In his sleep-induced haze all that mattered to him at the moment was the very warm body in front of him that he was pressed up against. His arm tightening around Lukas, Bastian’s leg slid down, straightening out of its bent position, while his hips pressed forward, rocking his slowly growing erection against Lukas’s back side. He was still too sleep-addled to think about what he was doing; his body was reacting on its own. He kept pressing himself to Lukas, his hips rocking back and forth, while he leaned his head down, his lips pressing to Lukas’ shoulder, kissing him lightly at first. With every new touch to the skin the pressure increased until he was nearly crushing his lips into the skin of Lukas’ neck.
That was when he finally woke up, opening his eyes and coming to his senses in a bit of a panic. When his eyes had finally popped open and he’d seen Lukas underneath him, still asleep, he’d immediately frozen, staring down at him. He was waiting to see if he’d woken him up. Lukas was a notoriously heavy sleeper, for which Bastian was finding himself very grateful for this morning as the seconds ticked by with no movement. This was not the way he wanted to wake Lukas up.
When he was certain that Lukas was indeed still fast asleep, Bastian very slowly and carefully untangled himself from him, sitting up and moving away a little. He was trying desperately to slow his racing heartbeat, to regain control of his breath. Of all the ways he’d pictured waking up this morning, dry humping Lukas from behind had not been on the list.
Right now he was just thankful that he hadn’t woken him. How would he have reacted to that? Had Lukas even given any thought to that aspect of the relationship? Bastian realized suddenly that he hadn’t. He’d been so focused on the emotional aspect of things, on his feelings for Lukas, that he hadn’t given a single thought to the sexual.
When he’d been younger he’d had a few encounters with other guys, nothing serious though, and mostly happening when they were drunk and there were no girls around. He’d received a blow job from another guy once, but that was pretty much as far as he’d ever gone. But this, with Lukas, there would have to be more to it, wouldn’t there? There were a few key elements to successful relationships and a healthy sex life was one of them.
Once the thought crossed his mind he got out of the bed, standing at the side, his hands over his face, fingers pressing into his eyes. How could he not have thought about this? How could this have slipped his mind? Rubbing his hands over his face he dropped them away, looking at the curtain covered window in front of him. It wasn’t that he couldn’t picture himself doing anything that serious with another guy, because in all honesty, he had thought about it before. One time he and Daniela had argued about having a threesome. He’d wanted another girl, she’d wanted another guy. It hadn’t been a serious argument of course and they’d never actually ended up deciding one way or another, but afterwards he’d started thinking about what it would be like with another guy. First the thoughts had been primarily based on what it would be like fucking Daniela at the same time as another guy, but then he’d started pondering what it would be like without her there.
He’d always been very open-minded, so it hadn’t come as a surprise that he’d spent a while thinking about it. In the end he’d decided to continue to keep an open mind to it, wondering if the opportunity would ever come up. It hadn’t though, at least not until now.
But now he was going to have to give it some serious thought once again. The only problem was whether or not Lukas had considered it. Bastian glanced over his shoulder at him, his eyes falling on Lukas’ half covered body. If he was going to be honest with himself, he had actually thought a few times about who he would choose as a third, if he and Daniela ever did have a threesome and it was with another guy. Lukas had crossed his mind, despite his best friend’s lack of experience. He’d amused himself with the thought that he and Daniela could have given Lukas his first real experience together. He’d never thought Lukas would have agreed though, so he’d never brought it up, not even with her.
And now that he was thinking about her he couldn’t help but picture what would be happening right now had it been her he’d woken up to in his state this morning. They’d probably be fucking right now; she’d still be half-asleep, not that it would take long for her to wake fully. Picturing it in his head wasn’t helping him though, as he felt himself grow even harder at the thought. He reached down into his pants to rearrange himself so he wasn’t bulging out at the front so obviously; he knew he was going to have trouble getting rid of this morning erection by mere willpower alone.
He walked around the bed, pausing by Lukas, looking down at him. How could he even bring up the topic with him? He knew he had to, at some point, but he really had no idea what to say. He leaned down to gently pull the blankets back up around Lukas’ shoulders, pressing a light kiss to his forehead before slipping out of the bedroom and closing the door behind him. He headed down the hallway to the other bathroom, not wanting to use Lukas’ and risk waking him up.
He stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind him, turning on the shower, waiting for the water to warm up enough before discarding his pants and stepping in. He stood under the water for a moment, letting it hit his back. He then turned to the side, his left arm lifting until it was in perfect height with his head and he pressed it to the wall, leaning his head against it. He closed his eyes and let his right hand drop down in between his legs, his fingers closing around his swollen dick. Slowly he started to pump his hand up and down, his fingers squeezing with exactly the right amount of pressure, his breathing speeding up just a little.
Behind closed eyes he was picturing that thought about scene from before, of him and Daniela and Lukas, the three of them together in bed. Lukas knew what he was doing this time. They were all three of them on their knees, Bastian fucking her from the front, Lukas behind. He and Lukas leaned in to each other over her shoulder, their lips meeting, mouths opening and tongues clashing. They’d desperately try to push into one another’s mouth, the naturally competitive streak between them not even stopping for sex. She would be in between them, bucking herself back and forth in perfect time with their rhythm, impaling herself on them, her hands gripping his skin, her fingernails leaving imprints on his back, his arms - any part of his body she could grab onto.
He and Lukas would grapple over her breasts, squeezing them, pinching and pulling on her nipples, all while still struggling for dominance of their kiss. They’d change the position a little, he would lie on his back and she and Lukas would stay on their knees. They’d lean over him and Lukas would set their pace, his pushes into her sending her pushing onto Bastian and she’d lower herself, her lips on his now and she wouldn’t fight for dominance of their kiss, she’d let him into her mouth without a struggle, but she’d pull away and continue to kiss the rest of his face, his ears and that spot just underneath them that killed him, his neck, and the whole time Lukas would be watching them, enjoying the scene and waiting for his turn to do the same with her and let him watch.
It would come; once she kissed her way down his neck to his chest Lukas would grab her by the hair and pull her up and away from Bastian; he’d pull her back until she was against him, craning her neck back so he could lean over her and kiss her and she’d let him in her mouth immediately too; his hands would be all over her and Bastian would just lie there, watching as the two people he loved more than anyone else bonded and connected and put on a show for only him to see. They’d all be nearing orgasm at the same time, of course, because there was no way they’d be this in sync with each other only to mess it up at the end. Lukas would move his mouth from her lips to her shoulder, letting her straighten her neck again, his hands still roaming over her soft skin; he’d lightly bite her shoulder, the grazing of the teeth something she loved and Lukas would know that because Bastian had told him before they’d started, he’d shared all of their secrets with him because he was a part of them now, they were together, all three of them. He’d keep biting her as he bucked harder into her, sending her forward, riding hard on Bastian’s dick, and Bastian’s eyes would be on her chest, her breasts bouncing with each thrust from Lukas, and he’d reach out and grab them, squeezing them hard, maybe a little bit harder than she liked but right now she wouldn’t care because they were so close. His hands would reach up further and lock behind both of their necks and he’d pull them down so they were right on top of him now and he’d alternate, his lips and tongue meeting hers, then switching to meet with Lukas, always moving back and forth between them, unable to pick one above the other.
They’d all come at the same damn time, together, linked, connected, feeling the moment so intensely and sharing everything so openly. They’d all be panting and moaning and she’d be just a bit louder than they were and her nails would still be digging into his skin, little imprints all over his body, the same way there would be bite marks all over hers. Finally they’d come, one big group shudder, their bodies reacting in the same way, Daniela and Lukas’ knees going so weak they’d collapse on him and even under the combined weight he’d be fine, he’d be damn fine because this was perfect, this moment was fucking perfect and he wouldn’t let anything ruin it.
His fantasy perfectly timed with his own actions Bastian came hard, biting his lip to keep from crying out, his hand still clamped around his now twitching dick, his body wracked with shudders and his own knees going so weak, but he’d somehow stay on his feet, leaning heavily against the wall, the water still falling relentlessly over his back, hitting the floor of the bathtub and washing away all traces of his action. But the water wasn’t going to wash away any of the feelings floating in his head right now and not even the usual euphoria of his orgasm could push them away either, not even for a second. Right now his thoughts were focused solely on exactly what he’d been picturing in his head.
He knew it wouldn’t be possible. He couldn’t share himself with two people. He wanted to; he so badly wanted to at the moment. It had been days since he’d seen Daniela and the guilt was tearing through him right now. He still loved her; he missed her, part of him still longed for the simplicity of what they’d had, for the ease and stability of their relationship. He loved Lukas, but things were going to be hard for them, he knew that. There were so many things they’d have to get through, every aspect of a real relationship was going to be new to them, and everything was going to take work and time. How could he possibly handle all of that if he couldn’t even think of a way to bring it up with him?
He finally sank down to his knees under the water, his hands reaching for the floor of the bathtub, his body feeling suddenly very weak at the moment. He sat back and drew his knees up and laid his arms against them, leaning his head forward and bringing his hands up to both sides of his face, holding it.
He needed to calm down. The sudden onslaught of realization coupled with the reaction of his body had completely drained him of everything. He needed to sit and let himself unwind for a moment. He needed to control his breathing again; he needed to slow his heart rate because it was pounding in his chest. He’d be fine once he calmed down a little.
His hands still pressed against his face he drew in a deep breath, forcing himself to let it back out slowly. He repeated the process a few times until he felt a bit calmer. Finally he peeled his hands away from his face, closing his eyes for a moment before standing back up. He went through with the usual motions, washing his hair and his body, only a few minutes passing before he was done. He shut the water off and grabbed a towel, drying his face off first before moving on to pat dry the rest of his body.
This wasn’t the way he’d wanted to wake up this morning. He should have stayed in bed, waking up just a few minutes before Lukas, using that time to reflect happily on what had transpired between them the day before. He shouldn’t have wound up sitting in the shower, pining for Daniela and feeling nothing but guilt pressing down on his shoulders.
He had to remind himself that it was okay for him to have that lingering sense of confusion. You couldn’t spend years with someone and then forget them in the space of a few days; especially not if the relationship hadn’t ended in anger. And he didn’t want to forget her anyway, he still loved her after all, she was still important to him. Despite the fear and worry over the potential problems his new relationship could face, he did love Lukas. Everything he’d had with Daniela, he wanted to have with Lukas. It was strange, how sometimes he felt like there was no way he could possibly be with anyone other than his best friend, but at other times he wished that he wasn’t trying to be. This could potentially lead to a disaster for both of them and if that happened, Bastian knew it would all be his fault.
But despite that he was willing to try. When he thought about yesterday, about the way Lukas had suddenly kissed him, the way he’d given him that little bit of himself that he’d been holding back thus far, Bastian couldn’t help but feel that this was the route he was meant to take. He and Lukas were meant to be, problematic future and all. He stood at the sink, hands on the porcelain bowl, head hung low. This wasn’t the way his morning had been supposed to start.
Wrapping the towel around his waist he left the bathroom, heading for the bedroom where his things were. Pulling out clean clothes he got dressed, jeans and a t-shirt his choice for the drive in to training this morning. Once he was finished he left the room, heading back down the hall to the other end, to the closed door. He opened it and walked into Lukas’ bedroom, looking down at the bed and seeing that Lukas was actually awake. How long had he been up for?
Lukas was awake, but still in bed. He’d woken up not too long ago, while Bastian had been dressing. He’d wondered where he had gone, coming to the conclusion that he’d probably just gone for a shower. When he saw Bastian’s still wet hair and clothing, Lukas knew his instinct had been correct. He looked up at him and smiled. “Well, good morning to you. I see you don’t waste any time when you get up.”
Bastian smiled back at him, walking over toward the bed. “Sorry, I woke up early; I didn’t want to wake you.” He paused for a moment, looking down at him. He had to think of something to say; he certainly couldn’t tell him the truth about his sudden departure from bed this morning. “I wanted to make you breakfast.”
Lukas looked at him with raised eyebrows, clearly not having expected that comment. “You wanted to make me breakfast? Did you sleep last night? You don’t quite sound like yourself.” Lukas grinned.
Bastian sat down on the edge of the bed, frowning at Lukas. “If this is the kind of response I’m going to get when I try to do something nice for you, then you can forget it. Get up and make your own breakfast.”
Lukas laughed and stretched his arm out, laying his hand on Bastian’s knee. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll go back to sleep and you go cook me something. We’ll pretend we never had this conversation and you can come in and wake me up and surprise me. Does that work?”
Bastian grinned and shook his head. “No, you’re awake now; you can cook your own food.” He took Lukas’ hand, holding it in his own. “Did you sleep well last night?”
Lukas nodded, the smile on his face growing. “Yeah, I did. Did you?”
Bastian smiled too and nodded his head. “I did.” He leaned forward, his lips brushing against Lukas’ forehead. “Why don’t you get up and go have a shower, and I’ll have breakfast ready by the time you’re done?”
Lukas looked at him, curiosity prominent among his expressions. “Alright, I won’t say no to you cooking this morning.” He sat up, his legs stretched out in front of him. “You’re not expecting anything for this, are you?”
Bastian grinned at the question. “Only lunch when I get home.”
Lukas laughed. “Yeah, good luck with that one.”
Bastian moved off the bed so Lukas could stand up. When he did Bastian moved in closer, sliding his hands around Lukas’ waist until they met on his back, linking them together. He looked into the blue eyes before him, a little smile on his lips. “Things are going to work out for us.”
Lukas wasn’t sure whose benefit Bastian had made the comment for, but at the moment it didn’t matter. “Yeah, they will.”
Bastian leaned forward and kissed Lukas on the lips, before pulling away and heading for the bedroom door. “Don’t take too long.”
Lukas watched him leave, a smile settling over his own lips. “Don’t burn anything.” Bastian turned back at the door to look at him, shaking his head, before leaving for the kitchen. With a smile on his face Lukas entered his bathroom, preparing to shower and get ready for the day.
Back in the kitchen Bastian prepared breakfast, though his heart was only half in it. His mind was still a little stuck on earlier thoughts, but he was feeling a little better about them now. Being near Lukas had reminded him why the struggle would be worth it. He’d never been one to back down from a challenge before, so he was determined to try and make this one work. But now that he’d given it some more thought he’d decided that later on today, once training was over, he was going to have to call Daniela. He couldn’t put off talking to her any longer, not given the feelings he’d had minutes ago. She needed to know how things were going, and he missed her. It might be a little strange, probably a little uncomfortable, but it was something that needed to happen.
Soon enough he’d finished with the food and Lukas appeared soon after and they sat down together to eat. Lukas obviously wasn’t having any conflicting emotions this morning, given the happiness that was simply radiating from him. It made Bastian feel just a little touch of guilt. That should be him, too. That had been him yesterday, after all. Feeling complete, feeling whole and comfortable. This morning had put a dent in that happiness; poked a hole in his being. He needed to feel that complete again and he knew it wouldn’t be possible until he spoke with Daniela.
They finished eating and immediately Bastian was up, collecting the dishes and putting them in the sink. Lukas was left sitting on his stool, regarding his best friend with a curiosity-laced gaze. “What is up with you this morning?” It wasn’t that Bastian was exceptionally lazy, but over the past few weeks as Lukas had gotten better, Bastian had slowed down in his attempt to look after everything. But this morning he was acting similar to the way he’d been during the first week, seemingly intent on doing everything himself. Lukas didn’t mind it really, but he was curious about what had sparked it.
Bastian looked back at him over his shoulder and shook his head. “Nothing.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “I just want to make sure you have no distractions this morning, so you can cook me something for lunch. Make it something nice, too. I want to see effort.” He grinned at Lukas before returning to the dishes.
Lukas laughed at his answer, getting up from the stool and walking over to the sink. He slipped his arms around Bastian, hugging him from behind and leaning his head over Bastian’s shoulder. “I already told you, you’re not getting anything special. Maybe I’ll just order some take-out and say I made it. You’ll never know.”
Bastian laughed at the response, a smile spreading over his face. It was a good thing that Lukas was in such a good mood this morning, so quick to joke around. It was helping Bastian in getting over his worry from earlier. Things were going to be fine. Talking to Daniela again would ease his mind over the concern relating to his feelings for her. Now that he’d decided to deal with that tonight, he was feeling better about it. He wasn’t worried about it distracting him too much this morning.
He finished with the dishes and turned around, his own arms slipping around Lukas. Lukas was one of those types of people whose smile affected everyone else around him, drawing you in until you were smiling and looking just as happy as he was. Bastian was feeling that pull right now. He couldn’t worry about things when he was standing in front of a very happy Lukas; all of the distracting thoughts seemed to filter away, pushed back to be dealt with later. Right now he just wanted to spend this last minute before he had to leave as positively as possible. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Lukas’, pulling back after a few seconds. “So, what are your plans for this morning?”
Lukas shrugged, still smiling. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go swimming later or something, I’m not too sure. I should probably call Tina at least; let her know that I didn’t screw things up too horribly after all.”
“Good idea. Knowing her, she’s probably been worried about you since you left.” Bastian smiled at the thought, happy that Lukas had someone he trusted to talk to about this. He wasn’t so sure if he had anyone he trusted that much, or anyone he felt comfortable enough talking to. It might be too weird to talk to Dani about everything involving him and Lukas, though he’d trust her with all the info. But maybe, after some time passed, he might be surprised and find himself spilling everything to her. Only time would tell.
“Yeah, she’s probably driving our grandmother crazy.” He glanced at the clock on the wall before looking back at Bastian. “You should probably get going now so you’re not late.”
Bastian nodded, glancing at the clock himself. “Yeah, you’re right.” He looked back at Lukas. “Well then, you have a good morning. I’ll see you after training.” He leaned forward to kiss him again and this time Lukas was ready for him, their lips meeting as their arms tightened momentarily around one another. Then they separated and moved to the door, where Bastian left and Lukas waved him goodbye before he entered the elevator. Lukas went back into the apartment, closing the door over and heading to one corner of his living room where he kept his computer. He slid into the chair and turned the system on, checking his e-mail. He smiled when he saw a message sitting in the inbox from his sister. He wrote back to her, telling her that things were going well and to call him later when she had a moment.
Almost immediately after he finished sending it there was a knock at his door. He got up and headed over, wondering who was there. A look through the peephole showed Lena and he immediately wondered if she knew. What if she didn’t know anything? Would Dani have spoken to her? If she’d told anyone about this, Lukas figured it would have been Lena. He wasn’t sure if he ought to answer, uncertain about how he’d handle things if she didn’t know. But what if she did and she was upset about it? He would have to face the girls at some point, so he hoped for the best and unlocked the door, opening it up to her.
Lena was standing just outside the door, leaning against the wall. When the door opened and she looked up at him, there was a sly grin curving her lips upward. “Hello, home wrecker.” She straightened and smiled at him. “Thought it was about time that I came over and shoved my nose in your business.”
Lukas smiled just faintly at her comments, still unsure about what she was thinking. It was pretty obvious that she knew what was going on, though. “Hey Lena.”
“Are you going to make me stand in the hallway or can I come in?” He moved aside and let her in after the comment, locking the door behind them. She took her shoes off quickly and they stood there by the door, looking at each other for a moment before she broke the silence. “So, as I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, I know what’s going on.” Her usually playful expression turned a bit more serious. “How are things going, though? Are you doing okay?”
Lukas was a little surprised at her reaction. He wasn’t sure how he had been expecting her to react once she’d found out about things, but it certainly hadn’t been quite so nonchalant. “I’m fine. Things are alright.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Why don’t we go sit down, or something?” She nodded and followed him in to the living room, where he sat on the couch and she sat in the chair directly to the right of the couch. Lukas regarded her curiously for a moment before speaking. “So I guess Dani told you?”
Lena nodded. “Yeah, I got a little worried when she didn’t show up for class that day, so I went over to see her. Then she told me what had happened.”
Lukas was silent for a minute, a distinctly guilty feeling settling around him. “How is she? Is she okay?” Lukas felt even guiltier once he realized that since admitting his feelings to himself, he hadn’t thought once about her.
“She’s alright, doing as well as can be expected, really.” Lena had spent the weekend at Daniela’s, telling Anna that they had an important project to work on, so they’d decided to just spend the entire weekend working. While they did have a project coming up, they had barely spent any time working over the weekend. Instead they’d just tried to do fun things, things to take Daniela’s mind off of what was happening. There had been a few moments when things had been a little rough for her, but overall the weekend had been a good distraction.
Lukas was looking at her now a little apprehensively; worry marring his features a little. “Lena, what does she think about it? Is she upset?” He wanted to ask if she was angry, if she’d ever speak to him again, but the questions just seemed a bit too harsh for him to vocalize at the moment.
Lena smiled when she realized what he really meant to ask. He was worried about Daniela blaming him, maybe even hating him. Since she’d known him, Lena had always witnessed a person in Lukas who tried to keep the peace between himself and anyone else at all times. He wasn’t someone who dealt well with conflict. “She doesn’t hate you, don’t worry. She’s worried about you, in fact; both of you. She still loves you guys.” She watched as a look of relief flashed over his face; it made her smile. “She understands that this just sort of happened, she doesn’t want it to cause any problems between you. She still wants to be there, regardless of what happens.” Maybe this was something she should have left for Daniela herself to explain, but at the moment Lena felt it would be best if Lukas just knew right off the bat how supportive Daniela was willing to be.
Lukas took a moment to digest everything Lena told him, letting the relief settle over him. Daniela wasn’t going to be angry with him. He wasn’t sure how it would be, speaking to her with all of this now having passed. What would it be like, having her around? He wasn’t too sure at the moment, but he felt better knowing that she would be there. He’d really come to think of her as a friend, especially since moving here, and he wasn’t keen on losing her.
With that now out of the way, she started pestering him for information on exactly how things were going between him and Bastian. When she started asking if they were kissing each other yet, Lukas had the distinct feeling that maybe Lena knowing about all of this was going to make his life just a touch more annoying with her prodding for details. But he supposed that he would take supportive and prying over unsupportive and distant any day, so he let her pry for now.
The drive in to training this morning had indeed been better for Bastian. Though he still had a few unsettled feelings, he was overall doing better. He blasted Akon’s newest album on his drive in, his window rolled down since the temperature was quite mild. He just hoped training would go well, his desire to put the game of this past weekend behind him and get back on form mentally.
He pulled in to the parking lot, shutting off his car and getting out, waving to the assembly of fans there on his way inside. He walked into the locker room, looking around this time and not avoiding the eyes of his team mates. Andi, who’d been chatting with Mark about something, made his way over to Bastian after a moment. He sat down next to him, eyes fixed on him. “Well, you seem to be in a better mood today.”
Bastian looked over at him, eyebrow rising in question. “Do I?”
Andi smiled. “Yes you do. I take it you managed to somehow salvage your weekend after Saturday’s abysmal performance?” Andi grinned, feeling that his friend was indeed in good enough spirits to withstand a bit of teasing.
Bastian frowned at him. “Shut up.” He leaned over to take off his shoes.
“Speaking of Saturday, where was Poldi? He have something better to do with his time?” The grin was still on Andi’s face.
Bastian looked up at him, ready for the question today. “He was in Poland, actually. He went to see his grandmother with his sister.”
The expression on Andi’s face became just a touch more devious at the response. “Well then, I guess that explains it. Poor Schweini was off this weekend because he missed his Poldi! How sweet.”
Bastian glared good naturedly at Andi, wondering how the other would feel if he knew just how close to reality his teasing comment actually was. “Shut up, Andi.”
A few of the other guys who’d overheard the comment turned to the pair now, grins on their faces. Mark was the first to speak. “Is he back now? Tell him he’s not allowed to go away during games anymore, we need you able to concentrate.” He winked at Bastian, who fixed his glare on the Dutchman now.
Martin Demichelis walked by, patting Bastian on the head. “Aw, he has attachment issues, just like a little puppy.”
“Hey, maybe we should re-nickname him until Poldi gets back. We could call him Puppy, to remind him to work on those issues and try to sever the bond so he can keep his mind on the game.” Pizarro offered up the suggestion, which the others laughed about.
Bastian was shooting glares all around the room now. “I do not have fucking attachment issues, shut up, all of you!”
“The more defensive you get about it, the more obvious it is.” Andi nudged him with his elbow, laughing when Bastian shoved his arm away. The teasing continued until they were all ready to head out to the training ground. Though it was always a little annoying to be the centre of the teasing on any day, Bastian was a little grateful for it today. In a sense he was able to admit that he’d been off because of Lukas, but he didn’t have to explain what had really gone on. He’d let the guys joke and have fun at his expense as long as it kept him from having to answer anything seriously.
As he had hoped, training was definitely going better today. He was able to concentrate on the actual training, get lost in the drills while they were being run. He was joking around with the guys, making his smart-assed comments, basically resuming his normal way of acting that had been a little lacking lately. It felt good, like this part of his life was going to have a chance to settle down and really get back to normal. Something had always felt just a little off since he’d returned to the team, but now he was feeling more at home on the grounds again. He knew things still wouldn’t feel completely the same again until Lukas was back, but until then he was pretty sure he’d be doing as well as possible.
When training ended he walked back into the building flanked by Andi and Philipp, who were busy chattering away about their Saturday night, telling Bastian about the interesting characters they’d met on their way back from the bar that night. Bastian listened to the story with a grin on his face, happy to hear about it. He missed going out with the guys.
“What are you and Lukas doing tonight? Why don’t the four of us meet up for drinks or something? It’s been a while.” Andi made the suggestion. He quite missed having the always energetic Lukas around during the day at training, and while having Bastian there upped the fun factor, things were always more entertaining when both of them were there together.
Philipp agreed to the suggestion. “Yeah, let’s hang out for a while. We can tell him we’re going to be calling you Puppy from now on so he’ll be prepared for potential grumpiness from you.”
Bastian shook his head, hoping indeed that the stupid nickname wouldn’t take off at all and that it would be forgotten soon. He did want to go out with his friends, but he already had plans for tonight that he wasn’t going to allow himself to break. “That sounds like a plan guys, but tonight doesn’t work. How about tomorrow after we’re done training? He’s allowed to drive again, so we can have some drinks and he’ll chauffeur us.”
Andi and Phillip agreed to the idea, looking forward to having their designated driver back. They cemented their plans while they showered and dressed, getting ready to leave the grounds for the day. They extended an invitation for drinks the following day to Michael Rensing, who happily agreed to the suggestion. The four of them finished getting ready at the same time and headed out to the parking lot together, stopping to sign autographs and interact a bit with the fans. Bastian couldn’t help but smile when he was asked to sign a picture of him and Lukas. He’d always enjoyed it when he encountered fans who seemed to appreciate his friendship with Lukas and who took delight in snapping pictures of them together or getting their autographs on the same picture. Now it gave him a bit of hope that maybe, if things ever did get that far one day that they’d have a base of fans who’d support them no matter what anyone else had to say about it.
When he’d signed enough items and had enough pictures of him taken to feel that he couldn’t be accused of neglecting the fans today, he said goodbye to his friends and fellow team mates, then headed for his car, a smile on his face. The morning had gone better than he’d expected, to be honest, and it had given him a positive feeling for what he was planning later. But now he just wanted to get back, tell Lukas about their plans for tomorrow, and then relax with him for a while before calling Daniela. He had hope that talking with her would go well, that it would let him deal more easily with his feelings. Even if it didn’t, seeing her again would make him feel better, it would lessen the guilt he had. He wanted to spend time with her still, after all. The sooner they started to figure out how things between them would eventually go, the sooner they’d be able to look past this. It was going to be a little strange at first, but he had faith that things would work out for them. Things had to work out for them.