it's amazing to me, this "trans is cool" boom. i hear kids at true spirit every year talking along these lines, and it's almost hard for me to believe. i finished undergrad in 99 (not so long ago!), and while not in new england, i'm still on the east coast -- and trans is not hip or trendy here. not one bit. i imagine if i was in your shoes right now, i'd be going through the same thought processes. sounds like a wider perspective, beyond the microcosm you're in at hampshire, might ease your mind.
This whole thing to me is about transness being, in my opinion, over self-diagnosed (or too quickly self-diagnosed). I want to make sure I can implicate myself too if I am indeed guilty as charged.
i think this whole gender boom has allowed a lot of people to just feel more comfortable not living in a gender role and giving them another way to ID OTHER than lesbian or gay. i remember being a freshman in college, 1995, and everyone was bisexual and was being a dyke a fad, and everyone was queer.
then three years ago i moved to boston, and soon thereafter i found out that a person in my band who i thought was a dyke cuz she dated girls told me that she slept with boys too. i was floored and i started to understand that it just dosn't fucking matter how you ID or who you fuck.
there probably are a lot of kids out there ID'ing as trans that will probably one day, take it back, or id as somthing else. but its what they need NOW to feel ok, and the more lj i read, the more i realized that the majority of people on here are very young (like most less then 25)and questioning who they hell they are.
the whole thing is very interesting though...but a lot of people seemed really threatened by the boom in their own idenity.
Yeah, a lot of people are likening this to the bi-boom of a while back. I wasn't really even out as a dyke yet so it didn't affect me as much as I can imagine it would someone like you who was in college at the time. The only thing that is quite different about these two situations is that wearing an identity for a while is reversable and changeable and growable, but changing your body with that identity is not. Transguys can renounce their maleness internally, and I think it's very interesting and commendable when that does indeed happen, but at the end of the day, the world sees them as male and they are living in this very "othered" body.
While I don't think that many trannyboys fresh out of middle school or high school do get chest surgery or start hormones super immediately, its the unwillingness to question oneself or wait or whatever that is frightening to me...the mentality about it.
Luke, what a great fucking post, I'm glad that Drake posted about it.
So much to say, but a lot of people have already written such great responses. I can certainly understand where you're coming from and I would be shocked if you got flames over this, you clearly spoke from your own experience and I know it's scary to put this stuff out there but I think you did it in a really intentional and well thought out way.
I too, came out in 2001, and I felt immediately like I was jumping on some bandwagon and have gone through countless processes of questioning myself and my identity..."am I really trans because I didn't feel like a boy when I was 5?...."maybe I'm not trans because I wore a dress to my senior prom"...."am I really trans because....????"..."maybe I'm not trans because I didn't jump right into hormones and surgery like _______ did" etc. And I'm thankful that I did because like you express, this is a sex change we're talking about, something that changes every aspect of your life in huge ways and has major implications
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Yeah, I think you are lucky to be "post trannyboy" in a sense. I look like every other 15 year old tranny, and I feel awful that sometimes I want to wear a shirt announcing that, no, I did not come out just yesterday....but like you, I feel horrible for judging and questioning others even though I'd wager that we all do or have done that with other trannies...and as I said, I'm prepared to question myself, and I feel others questioning me could be a valuable thing.
Yeah, I anticipated a shitstorm about this..maybe I'm used to my campus' uptight identity politics.
What I find really interesting is that I know I'd probably feel the same way if I were in a location with more transpeople, but being in a smaller college town in Southern Indiana creates an entirely different context in which I feel like it's my duty to identify as trans (which is admittedly horrible because it's not my job to be the tranny spokesperson) but I do find myself, sometimes, getting more and more tired with IDing as trans. I personally don't feel like I identify with other transguys, and I feel very seperate from the Indy trans community. I try and tell myself that it will be better if/when I move, but then I'll most likely be confronted with the whole trannyboom, trans as more-cutting-edge-than-thou, phenomenon... but for me, here in Southern Indiana, it can suck and it's hard. Especially to have an ambiguous trans identity and then to acknowledge the flux of gender on top of that. I totally have a bunch more to say that's more focused and fluid and coherent but I'm hungry and tired now. ;) I wish we could get a
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I'd really love if you'd post what you have to say or somehow let me know what you're thinking if you feel like it. I really appreciate your posts a lot and they always make me think or seem spot-on with how I've been feeling.
oh, look, i figured out part of my hesitance and part of what i'm trying to say:
it's very difficult to question anyone's trans-validity because i so frequently find myself defending mine. however, the fact that i have to defend it does not negate the fact that some people really aren't trans, and it's totally legit for me to question the speed with which people transition medically (without having transitioned personally or socially at all).
also, it's fair to say that while the presence of other transfolks is important, there is a difference between that and this f'ck-shit-up, in-your-face, pseudopolitical movement. legitimate community is one thing, and that attitude is another. so, while there are some benefits to this recent insurgence, it also carries a lot of damage with it.
this was more eloquent the first time i wrote it, before lj ate it.
I wonder if I hadn't felt chewed up and spit out by a bunch of transsexuals about my genderqueer identity if I would be so quick to judge others and make calls on their "right" to transition or to this identity.
I won't hide and say I don't do this on the daily. Because I do this and because I don't believe in the fuzzy ultra loving and liberal world where anyone who wants to be should be respected as trans and get my utmost approval on their desire to transition, I expect and welcome others to do the same. I know it happens, I know it does on here.
In the end, what I say about anyone's legitimacy shouldn't matter if they're fully convicted of that. Just as I know I am trans and some annoying naysayer isn't going to make those feelings disappear. I think stretching, excersizing and teasing out someone's rationale or motives or testament or whatever you want to call it is a good thing.
I think "edge identities" nails on the head some of the things/reasons I am trying to articulate about this phenomenon. First gayness/issues isn't enough for radicals to be fighting for, than queerness/issues, then transness/issues. What's next? Gender transition seems pretty edge for me, but something new will crop up, surely
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This whole thing to me is about transness being, in my opinion, over self-diagnosed (or too quickly self-diagnosed). I want to make sure I can implicate myself too if I am indeed guilty as charged.
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asking the questions and doing the work now is a good thing!
i think you're doing a damn fine job. :)
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then three years ago i moved to boston, and soon thereafter i found out that a person in my band who i thought was a dyke cuz she dated girls told me that she slept with boys too. i was floored and i started to understand that it just dosn't fucking matter how you ID or who you fuck.
there probably are a lot of kids out there ID'ing as trans that will probably one day, take it back, or id as somthing else. but its what they need NOW to feel ok, and the more lj i read, the more i realized that the majority of people on here are very young (like most less then 25)and questioning who they hell they are.
the whole thing is very interesting though...but a lot of people seemed really threatened by the boom in their own idenity.
i
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While I don't think that many trannyboys fresh out of middle school or high school do get chest surgery or start hormones super immediately, its the unwillingness to question oneself or wait or whatever that is frightening to me...the mentality about it.
Reply
So much to say, but a lot of people have already written such great responses. I can certainly understand where you're coming from and I would be shocked if you got flames over this, you clearly spoke from your own experience and I know it's scary to put this stuff out there but I think you did it in a really intentional and well thought out way.
I too, came out in 2001, and I felt immediately like I was jumping on some bandwagon and have gone through countless processes of questioning myself and my identity..."am I really trans because I didn't feel like a boy when I was 5?...."maybe I'm not trans because I wore a dress to my senior prom"...."am I really trans because....????"..."maybe I'm not trans because I didn't jump right into hormones and surgery like _______ did" etc. And I'm thankful that I did because like you express, this is a sex change we're talking about, something that changes every aspect of your life in huge ways and has major implications ( ... )
Reply
Yeah, I anticipated a shitstorm about this..maybe I'm used to my campus' uptight identity politics.
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it's very difficult to question anyone's trans-validity because i so frequently find myself defending mine. however, the fact that i have to defend it does not negate the fact that some people really aren't trans, and it's totally legit for me to question the speed with which people transition medically (without having transitioned personally or socially at all).
also, it's fair to say that while the presence of other transfolks is important, there is a difference between that and this f'ck-shit-up, in-your-face, pseudopolitical movement. legitimate community is one thing, and that attitude is another. so, while there are some benefits to this recent insurgence, it also carries a lot of damage with it.
this was more eloquent the first time i wrote it, before lj ate it.
Reply
I wonder if I hadn't felt chewed up and spit out by a bunch of transsexuals about my genderqueer identity if I would be so quick to judge others and make calls on their "right" to transition or to this identity.
I won't hide and say I don't do this on the daily. Because I do this and because I don't believe in the fuzzy ultra loving and liberal world where anyone who wants to be should be respected as trans and get my utmost approval on their desire to transition, I expect and welcome others to do the same. I know it happens, I know it does on here.
In the end, what I say about anyone's legitimacy shouldn't matter if they're fully convicted of that. Just as I know I am trans and some annoying naysayer isn't going to make those feelings disappear. I think stretching, excersizing and teasing out someone's rationale or motives or testament or whatever you want to call it is a good thing.
Reply
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