Comments | lukeboi: butch / trans / masculinity

lukeboi

butch / trans / masculinity

Oct 22, 2003 17:30

I had an off-day yesterday in therapy, I guess I just didn't really feel like talking about anything, but somehow we ended up talking about living as butch versus taking the hormone plunge. It got me thinking, and I actually meant to write some of this down right then, but I was too busy (busy getting nothing done, as usual, but that's another ( Read more... )

Comments 11

justshannon October 22 2003, 15:24:14 UTC

"I feel I'm allowed to act or perform masculinity far more in this body than in a male body."

I find it interesting that you equate the ability to perform masculinity from a female-bodied perspective. When I was still considering whether or not to transition one of the things, I was looking forward to was not having to perform masculinity anymore. That said I now feel less threatened with exposing the more feminine aspects of my personality. All this gender performance stuff is interesting and definitely seems to correspond with what/who you are attracted to.

lukeboi October 22 2003, 16:27:56 UTC

Well, I think all gender expression is performative in nature, whether conscious or unconscious. I think I perform masculinity both ways, conscious now that I have come to see myself as a masculine-identified person and really scrutinize my behavior.

I think its really common for guys to let go of feeling afraid of acting "faggy" or feminine once nobody is questioning their gender. It must be a huge relief, and sometimes one that finally allows transguys to explore their sexuality too, dating guys and whatnot. I think this switching around between presentations is something I do naturally and would feel less uptight about it in a female body than in a male body.

kpscapes October 23 2003, 06:56:40 UTC

Hey ( ... )

lukeboi October 23 2003, 08:39:38 UTC

Thanks.

I know you've written about these issues in the past, but you know I'm always down to read more.

king_orbison October 23 2003, 07:23:17 UTC

Luke you are brilliant and make me feel at home. Please come to Dean Spade tonight, the screening of "Toliet Training" begins at 8:30

lukeboi October 23 2003, 08:37:27 UTC

Where? Can't promise I can stay long, I am on this new actually-doing-my-Div-III kick. I want to meet you though.

validextension October 23 2003, 08:22:51 UTC

great post...i thought (and continue to think) about these issues a lot. a lot of what you said i agree with--i think butchness has a much different flavor when coming from a female perspective than coming from a male perspective, and like kael said, i had to let a part of that go when i decided to take the plunge and transition. my masculinity has changed (and i expected it to), and with that, my butchness has taken on a different character as well. it isn't something i mourn, but it is something that is notably different. i'm more conscious of the way women relate to me--some better, some worse. some with more fear, some with less ( ... )

gender makes me go blah blah blah anonymous October 23 2003, 12:46:17 UTC

just wanted to send an anonymous shout out and say that yer posts lately are terrific and you totally seem to be in a similar mental space to myself and your perspective is really helpful so thank you for that.
just to add a little something about the whole work thing, i just started my first post graduate grown up style job this past month however im working in a fairly liberal environment aka human services, im not gonna lie and say that anyone calls me a dude or anything of that nature, but i definetly dress in all mens buisness clothes(not ties or anything but button down shirts and mens pants etc) and people are super respectful of my non-gender gender mostly i attribute this to my liberal work environment but still just wanted to let you know that it is possible to be fairly gender-less in the grown up style job world.
cheers
j

Re: gender makes me go blah blah blah lukeboi October 23 2003, 14:36:47 UTC

Hey thanks.

I worked an internship in an art museum this summer and everyone was totally cool with me and how I present and call myself and whatnot, so I know that since I will most certainly be working in the arts, I am set and not worried at all about being taken seriously and respected in the workplace. However, not everyone makes the jump right from undergrad or graduate school into a perfect job, so its the interim less-than-desirable jobs that may pose a tricky situation. But I know soon enough I'll be done with those too and onto a real job.

Why post anonymously if you're not bashing my post? Just curious if I know you or if you're just stopping by my journal. Thanks for the kind words, though.

Re: gender makes me go blah blah blah anonymous October 24 2003, 07:59:08 UTC

i post anonymously cause i don't have a journal and i dont know you therefore im CREEPY. anyhow its true not everyone lands a good job right away im definetly counting my blessings (or some non-religous similar thing to that) that i have. either way now that my life has worked out i have faith that everyones can...so good luck, don't worry to much, i graduated last may and wanted to die i had so much anxiety but now, in the work department anyway, life is good.
cheers