smart: a polemic

[lula_vampiro]

My mom has always told me, since I was really little, that I was smart and a gifted child and a luminous intelligence and stuff like that. It always confused me at that age, since I wasn't really sure how anyone else thought or felt and as such how they could figure out that I was smart when all I did was do stuff that seemed fun or satisfying all

Comments

[dapperzombie]

Subjectivity is a mercilessly confusing thing. It sucks being under the gun like that - having to live up to imaginary standards with a set definition despite its nature as an opinion.

I'm totally with you on the part about being praised. Such sweet candy for my ego. <3

[zimzil]

Been through similar trains of thought myself. Most recently, there's all this talk about when I find a "real job." Apparently I'm too smart for my current job, and so it must be a jumping off point, a filler, a way to earn some money until I find Something Better. People accept my job because they're sure I won't be doing it for long. Because smart people like me should be doing something else. It's always a compliment, like I should be happy that someone recognizes that I'm "not meant" to be working in food service. Thanks guys. I love being a disappointment and a fuck up. But hey, I'm usually a happy fuck up.

[crystalpyramid]

According to studies, kids do better if they're told "you're not smart, but you work hard" than if they're told "you're smart". Since working hard is something you have control over and can continue to work on, while being smart isn't. If you stop being smart, it's not your fault; if you stop working hard, it clearly is.

I really wish being smart had some more advantages than I see it doing. It's certainly not the huge bonus teaching that I'd hoped it would be.

I remember

[dukhat]

some sort of comparison of what teachers told girls and boys who did poorly in a math class. The girls were told they were bad at math (in so many words) and the boys were told they were lazy.

What to tell children

[dukhat]

Tell your children that they certainly aren't stupid and that you don't know what smart means. And that they can do whatever they want if they are willing to work hard to do it and not get discouraged.