Hmmm...an update?
Yeah well, sometimes you feel like talking, and to no one in
particular. A lot of people that have me on as friends here I talk to
semi-regularly, so i'ma cut the rest of this so no one has to read
it...
Some things never stay the same...some things change dramatically over the course of a year. Last year at this time, I was living in an apartment by myself. I had an over-obnoxious cat I loved to death, two jobs, a broken heart, a broken pen, a band, a le baron, a suspended driver's license, regular meals, an addiction to canadian television, wonderful friends, and a beautiful island in my near future for a week.
so much has changed completely or altered
Now I live in a studio with two other guys. I have cat of normal obnoxious level (I'll always love Lilly so much...), one job (that is NOT Adesso...after five years), a broken heart (but not from anyone any of you know, who saw that one coming eh?), a pen that moves greatly when the ink is replenished, no real band....barely filling in for one, an S-10 who has been the band of my entire year, an SR-22 (Yes, that means I drive legally), i eat once a day if i'm lucky, an addiction to profile websites, wonderful friends including Alex and my renewed friendship which I missed more than I knew, and the more I think about it the farther away my next island seems.
I'm leading a completely different life...and yet I feel like I'm headed in the same direction. I gotta lot of thoughts flying through my head, so I think I'm going to just reach out and pick one and run with it, see if maybe I'll be able to get them all out there. Since Alex is in my peripheral vision, I s'pose I'll start with that...
I missed Alex, I didn't realize how much I did until we started hanging out again. We've been through so much together and known each other for so so long it's amazing how we lose touch every now and again...but we always pick it up right where we left off. Him and I are just so natural around each other, I dunno why we didn't move in together earlier, it's so easy to get along. Even if he does drag me into the video game world...it's ok. And my god it's so good to see him finally getting everything together. Megan makes him so happy, they're perfect together seriously (I'm a little jealous, haha, but hey, who wouldn't be?). And with school and everything. Hell, his future is better off then mine, good on him. You know, I made a little observation the other day when I was third wheeling it with those two, I have NEVER been dating a girl during the times in my life when alex and I have really good friends. We've never doubledated (unless you count Leah, but that really wasn't a date...) and he's never been third wheel to me. I've always been his third, it's rather funny in a depressingly lonely sort of way, don't you think? Hah.
I guess I'll get women out of the way then. So, since danielle, i've dated...even seriously...and i've been engaged with ongoing conversations with a few women...and...I dunno. It's been hard because, i'll meet these great girls...and they'll have all these great qualities i love, but then they'll be totally lacking all these other things i know i need. You know there's only been two...two that everytime i think about them, i can't help but smile. There's only two women since danielle that perpetually cause my heart to race and my whole body to shake every time i see them. One was Lexi, my Muse of last year, a girl who physically embodied someone much more imagined then real. And i, ever searching to risk crushing my own dreams in the hopes to obtain them....finally, FINALLY got it together to ask her out, and walked right into the "i have a boyfriend" conversation...i love that one, let me tell you.
The second is El. I made a joke one time about El meaning The to her. I think in this instance it means "The one more real than imagined". For, as much as lexi was in my head, El is right here in the world. She's the deeply artistic in a way that is most refreshing. Doesn't mean she's all serious in the least, in fact she has a very no-where-near serious attitude. She both sides to the extreme, and lives in the happy middle when not to one end or the other. I relate a lot to that. I'm not even going to begin with everything we have in common, else this entire post become about her. I'm really lucky to have found her...though she only wants friendship, I am still lucky. Maybe someday...
The job and the car...bah. The car was hit by falling pine tree...nothing major major...yet my insurance company thinks it still might be enough to total the car...which would be odd, but I find that out tomorrow. And the job? Well? I like the company I'm at...though I hate my job as it is now, and it's not enough money to live on for very long. I haven't given up looking, in fact i have a phone interview with geico in the morning, and if Alansis doesn't promote me to full time I'm going to have to leave, though i really love the company.
Oh, and www.machinewebsite.com ...I'm the new bassist, until either A.) they realize I suck, or 2.) Someother opportunity arises...because I'm now a whore and peddle myself to the highest bidder. Jess is really awesome, and quite irish if i might add.
fjd;kj;fskdajf bah...my head feels a little better, there's more crap, but i need to try to get off this accursed thing and go to bed....
Some things never stay the same...some things change dramatically over the course of a year. Last year at this time, I was living in an apartment by myself. I had an over-obnoxious cat I loved to death, two jobs, a broken heart, a broken pen, a band, a le baron, a suspended driver's license, regular meals, an addiction to canadian television, wonderful friends, and a beautiful island in my near future for a week.
so much has changed completely or altered
Now I live in a studio with two other guys. I have cat of normal obnoxious level (I'll always love Lilly so much...), one job (that is NOT Adesso...after five years), a broken heart (but not from anyone any of you know, who saw that one coming eh?), a pen that moves greatly when the ink is replenished, no real band....barely filling in for one, an S-10 who has been the band of my entire year, an SR-22 (Yes, that means I drive legally), i eat once a day if i'm lucky, an addiction to profile websites, wonderful friends including Alex and my renewed friendship which I missed more than I knew, and the more I think about it the farther away my next island seems.
I'm leading a completely different life...and yet I feel like I'm headed in the same direction. I gotta lot of thoughts flying through my head, so I think I'm going to just reach out and pick one and run with it, see if maybe I'll be able to get them all out there. Since Alex is in my peripheral vision, I s'pose I'll start with that...
I missed Alex, I didn't realize how much I did until we started hanging out again. We've been through so much together and known each other for so so long it's amazing how we lose touch every now and again...but we always pick it up right where we left off. Him and I are just so natural around each other, I dunno why we didn't move in together earlier, it's so easy to get along. Even if he does drag me into the video game world...it's ok. And my god it's so good to see him finally getting everything together. Megan makes him so happy, they're perfect together seriously (I'm a little jealous, haha, but hey, who wouldn't be?). And with school and everything. Hell, his future is better off then mine, good on him. You know, I made a little observation the other day when I was third wheeling it with those two, I have NEVER been dating a girl during the times in my life when alex and I have really good friends. We've never doubledated (unless you count Leah, but that really wasn't a date...) and he's never been third wheel to me. I've always been his third, it's rather funny in a depressingly lonely sort of way, don't you think? Hah.
I guess I'll get women out of the way then. So, since danielle, i've dated...even seriously...and i've been engaged with ongoing conversations with a few women...and...I dunno. It's been hard because, i'll meet these great girls...and they'll have all these great qualities i love, but then they'll be totally lacking all these other things i know i need. You know there's only been two...two that everytime i think about them, i can't help but smile. There's only two women since danielle that perpetually cause my heart to race and my whole body to shake every time i see them. One was Lexi, my Muse of last year, a girl who physically embodied someone much more imagined then real. And i, ever searching to risk crushing my own dreams in the hopes to obtain them....finally, FINALLY got it together to ask her out, and walked right into the "i have a boyfriend" conversation...i love that one, let me tell you.
The second is El. I made a joke one time about El meaning The to her. I think in this instance it means "The one more real than imagined". For, as much as lexi was in my head, El is right here in the world. She's the deeply artistic in a way that is most refreshing. Doesn't mean she's all serious in the least, in fact she has a very no-where-near serious attitude. She both sides to the extreme, and lives in the happy middle when not to one end or the other. I relate a lot to that. I'm not even going to begin with everything we have in common, else this entire post become about her. I'm really lucky to have found her...though she only wants friendship, I am still lucky. Maybe someday...
The job and the car...bah. The car was hit by falling pine tree...nothing major major...yet my insurance company thinks it still might be enough to total the car...which would be odd, but I find that out tomorrow. And the job? Well? I like the company I'm at...though I hate my job as it is now, and it's not enough money to live on for very long. I haven't given up looking, in fact i have a phone interview with geico in the morning, and if Alansis doesn't promote me to full time I'm going to have to leave, though i really love the company.
Oh, and www.machinewebsite.com ...I'm the new bassist, until either A.) they realize I suck, or 2.) Someother opportunity arises...because I'm now a whore and peddle myself to the highest bidder. Jess is really awesome, and quite irish if i might add.
fjd;kj;fskdajf bah...my head feels a little better, there's more crap, but i need to try to get off this accursed thing and go to bed....